It is mind-boggling to me that Christians think they are doing Jesus a favor by picking a fight with retailers who say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". I know one situation where people who tell retailers that they -- and their church--won't shop there unless they say "Merry Christmas". That gives a witness. But it doesn't seem to me to have the characteristics of a Christlike witness.
First of all, "Merry Christmas" does not convey a religious message. "May Christ be born in your heart" is a religious message. "May God bless you" is a religious message. But "Merry Christmas" is not a greeting that gives a testimony to faith. That, alone, is a clue that this is not a holy battle to fight.
Secondly, I don't think it is the responsibility of retailers to proclaim the good news of Christ's birth. That is the message--and responsibility-- of the CHURCH. Why should a Lowe's or a Belk's or a Target be pressured--overtly or subtly--to give ALL its customers the message of Christ's birth. The job of retailers is to sell things. Aren't Christians uncomfortable with the purpose of retail sales getting mixed with the message of our Savior? Shouldn't the church first and foremost remember -- and remind others that our Savior was born into poverty and warned us about the spiritual seduction of things. Shouldn't the message of Christians be that the joy of Christmas is NOT in things--the opposite of what retailers are trying to promote?
Third, so Christians think there is some kind of seasonal exception to the Golden Rule? Maybe, for some, because it is the season of Jesus' birth, somehow, it is all right to ignore the teachings of Jesus? I don't think so. Jesus explicitly taught that we were to love our neighbors the same way we want to be loved. So how about this: This year, everyone in the community would say "Merry Christmas!" (which, as I have already mentioned, is not really a religious phrase). Then, next year, because we want to live out the Golden Rule, everyone in the community would say, "Happy Hannukah!" How much Golden Rule obedience do you think that would bring? And remember, when we are talking about respect for our neighbors of Jewish faith, we should remember that our Savior, Jesus, was a Jew.
We are living in a contentious, belligerent society. While it may be natural to want to fight about anything and everything, that is not the way of Christ...and I don't see that we can have a Christlike influence in the world by abandoning His teaching. "Inasmuch as it depends on you", Paul wrote in Romans 12, "live at peace with all." Don't think anyone does Jesus a favor by insisting that everyone say, "Merry Christmas." A much more powerful Christian witness would be loving others the way He loved us.
I believe in being a witness for Jesus during Advent (and every season). During Advent, you will find me wearing Chritmas sweaters that show Christ's birth. You will find me wearing jewelry that says "Peace on earth" and "Joy to the world". You will find me going out of my way to be patient and courteous and kind when I am shopping. You will find me offering a blessing to people who work the checkout lines -- not a lecture from the Pharisee language police about why they should say "Merry Christmas" if they want my business. You will find me tipping generously and writing a blessing on the restaurant checks and doing unexpected, anonymous gifts for others.
The witness of Christ-followers should be consistent with the example and teaching of the Christ we are following. We can be creative. We can be kind. We can be thoughtful. We can win people to Jesus with the love they see in words and actions.
I'm all for keeping Christ in Christmas. I just don't believe that picking a fight with people who are trying to practice the Golden Rule is much of a Christian witness. Keep Christ in Christmas is not a matter of certain words. Keeping Christ first and foremost has to do with prayer and devotional reading in a busy season. Keep Christ in Christmas is doing good deeds and generosity toward those less fortunate. Keeping Christ in Christmas takes place when we extend Christlike grace and kindness to those we meet each day. Keeping Christ in Christmas is something that we show by the way we live.
More than a "Merry Christmas", my prayer is for a Christ-filled season. I pray that our actions will be characterized by the humility, kindness, grace and love that will show that Jesus has come into our hearts That's where the real Christian witness will be found.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Sadness and peace
This has been a week of death. Some weeks are like that.
Actually, every week is like that, but some weeks, the sadness gangs up in personal ways. This has been one of those weeks. Deaths in the families of several clergy, the death of a young clergywoman after a 20 month fight with brain cancer, sad clergy at the death of beloved members. In the context of all that, Elizabeth Edwards' death left me dissolved in tears.
I don't know Elizabeth Edwards any better than anyone else in the public. But every single day I thank God for the gift of books. And her books, Saving Graces and Resilience touched me deeply. After reading her books, I, like thousands of others, felt very close to her.
Several things I already knew.
My pastoral experience already taught me that the death of a child is life's most devastating grief. I am grateful I haven't experienced that horror. But, too many times, I have walked with parents as their pastor during this particular nightmare. There are many things in life that hurts. But the death of a child cuts to the core with a different vengeance. Her book Saving Graces is exquisite, poignant, wrenching and inspiring. There is no pain like the loss of a child.
But the infidelity of a marriage partner -- especially infidelity in the public eye--has got to rank right up there with the most agonizing and humiliating of life's setbacks. I don't underestimate the depth of grief that comes from the death of a husband. But there is a finality of death that doesn't include having to constantly re-live rejection, self-doubt, speculation and criticism of others and the emotional ravages of betrayal.
Then there's cancer. Especially cancer that is beyond cure. Just the diagnosis and fight of cancer is the challenge of a lifetime. The combination of those overwhelming life challenges is monstrous. Her determination to make a positive impact under the weight of all that adversity is stunning. No wonder the title of her book is Resilience. She certainly exemplified the topic.
Her death at such a young age broke my heart. And then, as I lived into the news of her death, I realized that, in death, she receives a peace and wholeness that she could never have had in this life. Her faith, her love for life and her passionate love for her children was as persistent and unrelenting as her optimism. But the glare of the public eye honed in on her pain, vulnerabilities and liabilities made it unlikely/impossible for her to ever have had peace. May you be in perfect and complete peace and wholeness, Elizabeth. Enjoy in fullness that you are God's beloved daughter and that you made an impact for the good in overwhelmingly difficult circumstances.
A friend of a friend (Holly Stencil) wrote this stunning tribute: "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and, when the wind did not go her way -- and surely it has not--she adjusted her sails. Thank you for your gracefulness, Elizabeth Edwards." Maybe that is the best of all definitions of success: to be able to be graceful in the face of adversity.
Actually, every week is like that, but some weeks, the sadness gangs up in personal ways. This has been one of those weeks. Deaths in the families of several clergy, the death of a young clergywoman after a 20 month fight with brain cancer, sad clergy at the death of beloved members. In the context of all that, Elizabeth Edwards' death left me dissolved in tears.
I don't know Elizabeth Edwards any better than anyone else in the public. But every single day I thank God for the gift of books. And her books, Saving Graces and Resilience touched me deeply. After reading her books, I, like thousands of others, felt very close to her.
Several things I already knew.
My pastoral experience already taught me that the death of a child is life's most devastating grief. I am grateful I haven't experienced that horror. But, too many times, I have walked with parents as their pastor during this particular nightmare. There are many things in life that hurts. But the death of a child cuts to the core with a different vengeance. Her book Saving Graces is exquisite, poignant, wrenching and inspiring. There is no pain like the loss of a child.
But the infidelity of a marriage partner -- especially infidelity in the public eye--has got to rank right up there with the most agonizing and humiliating of life's setbacks. I don't underestimate the depth of grief that comes from the death of a husband. But there is a finality of death that doesn't include having to constantly re-live rejection, self-doubt, speculation and criticism of others and the emotional ravages of betrayal.
Then there's cancer. Especially cancer that is beyond cure. Just the diagnosis and fight of cancer is the challenge of a lifetime. The combination of those overwhelming life challenges is monstrous. Her determination to make a positive impact under the weight of all that adversity is stunning. No wonder the title of her book is Resilience. She certainly exemplified the topic.
Her death at such a young age broke my heart. And then, as I lived into the news of her death, I realized that, in death, she receives a peace and wholeness that she could never have had in this life. Her faith, her love for life and her passionate love for her children was as persistent and unrelenting as her optimism. But the glare of the public eye honed in on her pain, vulnerabilities and liabilities made it unlikely/impossible for her to ever have had peace. May you be in perfect and complete peace and wholeness, Elizabeth. Enjoy in fullness that you are God's beloved daughter and that you made an impact for the good in overwhelmingly difficult circumstances.
A friend of a friend (Holly Stencil) wrote this stunning tribute: "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and, when the wind did not go her way -- and surely it has not--she adjusted her sails. Thank you for your gracefulness, Elizabeth Edwards." Maybe that is the best of all definitions of success: to be able to be graceful in the face of adversity.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Living what we believe
The way people fuss, one would think that people in the church are being asked to do some strange new thing. Rarely a week goes by that I don't get some forwarded email decrying "P.C."--as if that is some secular term and nobody has ever heard of doing unto others the way we would want others to do to us. Along with the denunciations of political correctness come a barrage of political hot button issues -- all of which beg the simple scrutiny of the question: Does the content of this email/conversation/attitude reflect the love that Jesus showed to others?
The simple clarifying question of Christianity is not "Is this the way we have done things before?" The simple clarifying question is: "Is this Christ-like?"
And the heart-wrenching, maddening reality is that, more often than not, people are raising a fuss over something that is nothing more than a call to Christianity 101: love your neighbor as yourself and Christ's new commandment to love others the way Christ loved us.
When people get mad about this call to apply the Christian faith, they are only showing that Christianity has been a superficial tip-of-the-hat instead of a holy lifestyle. Whether the subject is immigration, or fiscal issues or social issues, the heart of the question is not what any of us are comfortable with...not what we are used to...not our hot-headed opinions. The heart of every question before us can be centralized in the foundational question: "Is my attitude/conversation/action Christ-like?"
Too many times, the actions/conversations/attitudes of church people is not Christlike. That's the sad and simple truth. The voice of John the Baptist intrudes on our lives again in this Advent season saying: "Prepare the way of the Lord! Get your hearts right!"
I am grateful for the Christian year which reminds us that Christ's coming is much more than a sentimental memory of a baby born in a manger. Advent is a season that challenges us to take stock of our lives and, when we look at our conversations/actions/attitudes, we will see if Christ has really come yet or not. Do our lives bear the characteristics of the Beatitudes? Would the characteristics of 1st Corinthians 13 be a good description of the lives we lead? Does the fruit of the Spirit mark our attitudes and actions?
Wherever our lives do not measure up to the high calling of the Christian life, that is where we need to be praying for Christ to come into our lives. John the Baptist is calling us this Advent...reminding us that the most important ways we will be ready this season will have nothing to do with what is on our "to do" lists. The most important way to be ready for Christmas has to do with hearts open to and shaped by Christ.
The simple clarifying question of Christianity is not "Is this the way we have done things before?" The simple clarifying question is: "Is this Christ-like?"
And the heart-wrenching, maddening reality is that, more often than not, people are raising a fuss over something that is nothing more than a call to Christianity 101: love your neighbor as yourself and Christ's new commandment to love others the way Christ loved us.
When people get mad about this call to apply the Christian faith, they are only showing that Christianity has been a superficial tip-of-the-hat instead of a holy lifestyle. Whether the subject is immigration, or fiscal issues or social issues, the heart of the question is not what any of us are comfortable with...not what we are used to...not our hot-headed opinions. The heart of every question before us can be centralized in the foundational question: "Is my attitude/conversation/action Christ-like?"
Too many times, the actions/conversations/attitudes of church people is not Christlike. That's the sad and simple truth. The voice of John the Baptist intrudes on our lives again in this Advent season saying: "Prepare the way of the Lord! Get your hearts right!"
I am grateful for the Christian year which reminds us that Christ's coming is much more than a sentimental memory of a baby born in a manger. Advent is a season that challenges us to take stock of our lives and, when we look at our conversations/actions/attitudes, we will see if Christ has really come yet or not. Do our lives bear the characteristics of the Beatitudes? Would the characteristics of 1st Corinthians 13 be a good description of the lives we lead? Does the fruit of the Spirit mark our attitudes and actions?
Wherever our lives do not measure up to the high calling of the Christian life, that is where we need to be praying for Christ to come into our lives. John the Baptist is calling us this Advent...reminding us that the most important ways we will be ready this season will have nothing to do with what is on our "to do" lists. The most important way to be ready for Christmas has to do with hearts open to and shaped by Christ.
Monday, November 22, 2010
The message is for generosity...
One of my clergy was sharing a conversation with me. One of his laypersons was angry about the health care reform legislation passed by the congress. The pastor, rightly, said that the United Methodist Church has long been an advocate of health care coverage for all. But the layperson persisted: "But doesn't the Bible teach the importance of being frugal?"
I am not sure what the rest of the conversation was. But it was a teaching moment.
I've been thinking a lot about the layperson's question and -- let me say this respectfully--the message running through the Bible is not the importance of being frugal. I say that respectfully--almost wondering if lightning will strike me-- because I was raised by the most frugal -- and most saintly--mother in the world. She would never have considered using aluminum foil or wrapping paper just once. That would have been extravagant. We were more responsible than that! My parents were raised in the Depression and they didn't believe in wasting anything. I value their example.
However wise and prudent the virtue of frugality is, the Bible -- as I understand it--teaches the importance of generosity. I think we have the frugal virtue down pat.
The anxiety and fear generated (or accentuated) by the economic downturn seems to have given Christians amnesia about the importance of generosity...as if generosity (of spirit and money) is an acceptable option for times of abundance but not applicable for times of financial struggle. Where did we get the idea that we were called to be generous only in prosperity? That's not what the Bible teaches.
Jesus explicitly praises sacrificial giving. The widow who gave her mite was, obviously, not living in a time of prosperity. Yet she had a heart for giving to God and she found favor with Jesus in her giving.
It hardly seems fair to me that we would go into Thanksgiving week counting our blessings and then pride our selves on our frugality. Advent begins next week -- where God gave a generous and sacrificial gift of His Son--where Jesus gave up the glories of heaven to be born in Bethlehem. Against that backdrop, our complaining and our fears seem very small indeed.
The virtue of the Christian life is generosity. The time to be generous is all times. The call to be generous is for everyone. This season, as we count our blessings, let us show our gratitude by the generosity of our giving.
I am not sure what the rest of the conversation was. But it was a teaching moment.
I've been thinking a lot about the layperson's question and -- let me say this respectfully--the message running through the Bible is not the importance of being frugal. I say that respectfully--almost wondering if lightning will strike me-- because I was raised by the most frugal -- and most saintly--mother in the world. She would never have considered using aluminum foil or wrapping paper just once. That would have been extravagant. We were more responsible than that! My parents were raised in the Depression and they didn't believe in wasting anything. I value their example.
However wise and prudent the virtue of frugality is, the Bible -- as I understand it--teaches the importance of generosity. I think we have the frugal virtue down pat.
The anxiety and fear generated (or accentuated) by the economic downturn seems to have given Christians amnesia about the importance of generosity...as if generosity (of spirit and money) is an acceptable option for times of abundance but not applicable for times of financial struggle. Where did we get the idea that we were called to be generous only in prosperity? That's not what the Bible teaches.
Jesus explicitly praises sacrificial giving. The widow who gave her mite was, obviously, not living in a time of prosperity. Yet she had a heart for giving to God and she found favor with Jesus in her giving.
It hardly seems fair to me that we would go into Thanksgiving week counting our blessings and then pride our selves on our frugality. Advent begins next week -- where God gave a generous and sacrificial gift of His Son--where Jesus gave up the glories of heaven to be born in Bethlehem. Against that backdrop, our complaining and our fears seem very small indeed.
The virtue of the Christian life is generosity. The time to be generous is all times. The call to be generous is for everyone. This season, as we count our blessings, let us show our gratitude by the generosity of our giving.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Getting tuned to the right source...
I love to gain an hour.
I am certainly consistent about this. I hate losing an hour in the spring.
But gaining an hour feels like heaven.
So many days I (foolishly) think "If I had just one more hour"...and so many mornings, when I wake up, I think "If it was just an hour earlier....". Sunday was the day to gain an hour. I loved it.
I've had two problems with the time change through the years. One is my attitude about having the time change on a Sunday. People who would always remember to make the change to be at work on time forget about getting to church on time. The time change is always a reality check that we live in a world where people -- including people in the church--think that worship is not nearly as important as a number of other things they do.
The other problem is more practical: getting the clocks set. Do I set them ahead the night before? When I do that and the clock doesn't seem right in the morning, there's the inevitable time of double-check: have I already changed the clocks? So, for years, I would change ONE clock -- the alarm clock by my bed and leave the others so I could see the difference.
Now, I no longer have to do that. It's amazing, really.
I have a clock that is tuned into satellites. So it automatically gives the right time. No fuss, no muss, no bother. When power is restored after the electricity goes out, the clock automatically shows the correct time. I love it.
And this year, I learned that my GPS is the same way. It has the correct time with no resetting. And my Iphone is the same. Wonderful!
Basically, I learned that anything that is set to a signal beyond itself is going to be right no matter what happens. Everything that is not set to a signal beyond itself is going to need re-setting.
I love that life-snapshot.
The same thing is true for individual Christians and for churches: when we get our energy from a source beyond ourselves, we have peace no matter what else happens. How easy it is for people to get the fuel for their lives by schedules, family relationships and whatever the day brings. Like clocks that depend on batteries or electrical connections, re-setting is required. Tuning life to the life-source beyond ourselves in God is a major turn that makes all the difference.
The time I most need the "true time" is when the power has gone out at my house. And, all around us, people are living in circumstances where the power has gone out due to all kinds. When we are completely dependent on our own sources and life's storms and difficulties come, we recognize how inadequate the base has been. For those who are focused on a life source beyond themselves, life has a different quality, a different dependability, a different security no matter how big the storm or how severe the crisis. If I had one observation to make about the economic struggles of our nation, it is that we have learned that people have trusted money--not God-- for their security.
The true source of life: energy, wisdom, love, peace is beyond ourselves. The true source of life is found in Jesus and in serving others. "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you...not like the world's peace. So do not let your hearts be troubled and do not let them be afraid." John 14:27
I am certainly consistent about this. I hate losing an hour in the spring.
But gaining an hour feels like heaven.
So many days I (foolishly) think "If I had just one more hour"...and so many mornings, when I wake up, I think "If it was just an hour earlier....". Sunday was the day to gain an hour. I loved it.
I've had two problems with the time change through the years. One is my attitude about having the time change on a Sunday. People who would always remember to make the change to be at work on time forget about getting to church on time. The time change is always a reality check that we live in a world where people -- including people in the church--think that worship is not nearly as important as a number of other things they do.
The other problem is more practical: getting the clocks set. Do I set them ahead the night before? When I do that and the clock doesn't seem right in the morning, there's the inevitable time of double-check: have I already changed the clocks? So, for years, I would change ONE clock -- the alarm clock by my bed and leave the others so I could see the difference.
Now, I no longer have to do that. It's amazing, really.
I have a clock that is tuned into satellites. So it automatically gives the right time. No fuss, no muss, no bother. When power is restored after the electricity goes out, the clock automatically shows the correct time. I love it.
And this year, I learned that my GPS is the same way. It has the correct time with no resetting. And my Iphone is the same. Wonderful!
Basically, I learned that anything that is set to a signal beyond itself is going to be right no matter what happens. Everything that is not set to a signal beyond itself is going to need re-setting.
I love that life-snapshot.
The same thing is true for individual Christians and for churches: when we get our energy from a source beyond ourselves, we have peace no matter what else happens. How easy it is for people to get the fuel for their lives by schedules, family relationships and whatever the day brings. Like clocks that depend on batteries or electrical connections, re-setting is required. Tuning life to the life-source beyond ourselves in God is a major turn that makes all the difference.
The time I most need the "true time" is when the power has gone out at my house. And, all around us, people are living in circumstances where the power has gone out due to all kinds. When we are completely dependent on our own sources and life's storms and difficulties come, we recognize how inadequate the base has been. For those who are focused on a life source beyond themselves, life has a different quality, a different dependability, a different security no matter how big the storm or how severe the crisis. If I had one observation to make about the economic struggles of our nation, it is that we have learned that people have trusted money--not God-- for their security.
The true source of life: energy, wisdom, love, peace is beyond ourselves. The true source of life is found in Jesus and in serving others. "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you...not like the world's peace. So do not let your hearts be troubled and do not let them be afraid." John 14:27
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Don't let All Saints get lost...this week or EVER!
Having grandchildren is a delight any way you look at it. Through the eyes of my 5 year old and 3 year old grandsons, I've had a front row seat down memory lane remembering how exciting Halloween is....the dilemma of choosing what to be, the thrill of dressing up in costume and savoring the "haul" of candy. Halloween is a high holy day for little children ranking right up there with Christmas. (I'm pretty sure Christmas is still #1 because Halloween doesn't have presents...)
As my little ones grow, I hope they will also grow into another dimension of the gift of Halloween--the "All Hallows Eve" origin...which said that the evil, negative, fear-inducing forces of this world had to work their fury on October 31--All Hallows Eve--because they knew that once All Saints Day dawned November 1, their power would disappear. Interesting to me that, according to the tradition, even the evil spirits knew that they couldn't compete with the powerful influence of godly Christian people!
It's not just little ones who need to learn the deeper meaning of Halloween. Halloween is the time for us to get perspective (perfect timing to be on Sunday this year!) that fear and evil and negativity don't have power once people focus the gift of eternal life and the communion of the saints. Halloween becomes the church's way of looking at fear and evil and saying, "Go ahead! Give it your best shot! No way you can compete with God's power! Even the worst you can do on earth (death) will be conquered by the Lord of life!"
How I wish we could reclaim that credo. Our world is full of fear. But the power of God at work in human life for good has not been vanquished. How did we -- people of professed faith--become such cowards? Such insecure, vulnerable people?
Don't let All Saints Day get lost!! All Saints is Easter celebrated in a different way --personalized with the names of our loved ones--a reminder of the victory of Christ that nothing in this world can take away. Those who are grounded in Christ need not fear through any storm (freshly personal after last Tuesday's tornados), any disease, any accident, any setback, any financial uncertainty, any hardship. God's power--and the influence of godly people--puts fear and evil in its place. This Halloween/All Saints is a great invitation to lift our eyes beyond the fear that surrounds us to the God who saves us. Happy Halloween! Happy All Saints indeed!
As my little ones grow, I hope they will also grow into another dimension of the gift of Halloween--the "All Hallows Eve" origin...which said that the evil, negative, fear-inducing forces of this world had to work their fury on October 31--All Hallows Eve--because they knew that once All Saints Day dawned November 1, their power would disappear. Interesting to me that, according to the tradition, even the evil spirits knew that they couldn't compete with the powerful influence of godly Christian people!
It's not just little ones who need to learn the deeper meaning of Halloween. Halloween is the time for us to get perspective (perfect timing to be on Sunday this year!) that fear and evil and negativity don't have power once people focus the gift of eternal life and the communion of the saints. Halloween becomes the church's way of looking at fear and evil and saying, "Go ahead! Give it your best shot! No way you can compete with God's power! Even the worst you can do on earth (death) will be conquered by the Lord of life!"
How I wish we could reclaim that credo. Our world is full of fear. But the power of God at work in human life for good has not been vanquished. How did we -- people of professed faith--become such cowards? Such insecure, vulnerable people?
Don't let All Saints Day get lost!! All Saints is Easter celebrated in a different way --personalized with the names of our loved ones--a reminder of the victory of Christ that nothing in this world can take away. Those who are grounded in Christ need not fear through any storm (freshly personal after last Tuesday's tornados), any disease, any accident, any setback, any financial uncertainty, any hardship. God's power--and the influence of godly people--puts fear and evil in its place. This Halloween/All Saints is a great invitation to lift our eyes beyond the fear that surrounds us to the God who saves us. Happy Halloween! Happy All Saints indeed!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Lost in the uproar: Discretion. Responsibility
First of all, let's be clear: this is my opinion. It is only my opinion. As the blog disclaimer clearly states, my words do not represent any official opinion of the Western North Carolina Conference. My opinion. That's what the blog-form conveys. Having said that, here's my opinion:
We have lost our minds in this country.
My observation is that we as a culture are going through a very immature phase. I pray that it is a phase. The phase is characterized by an independent streak that declares itself consistently like this: "This is a free country. I can do whatever I please." And the corollary of this declaration of freedom is this: "And, if you try to stop me from saying or doing whatever I want, I will attack you for violating my freedom." Whoa. I hear it in the culture and run into it in the church every day. Friends (this is my opinion and only my opinion), we are on the wrong track!
Does anyone believe that "I can do anything I want to" honors the freedom? Or that it builds up our common life? Or that, more pertinent to me and those who would read my opinion, does "I can do whatever I want to!!!" bear any resemblance to Christian faith? Paul had this same fight with the Galatians when they misunderstood freedom in Christ. Just because they were free in Christ did not mean they had license to sin. Freedom does not mean that now I can do whatever I want.
This is a constant uproar in our country. People in public say untrue things, distorted things (especially in election time), extreme things and divisive things--and defend their irresponsibility with an appeal to freedom of speech. It makes me crazy. Just because you live in a country where you have the freedom to say something false doesn't mean it is right for anyone to be misleading or false. Freedom of speech is not a permission slip for dishonesty. Freedom carries responsibility for all citizens. For Christians, doubly so. It is wrong to say "I live in a country which values freedom of speech. That means I can say anything I want to." That's an attitude of irresponsibility.
The way it looks to me is that public figures are actually penalized for discretion. Discretion doesn't make headlines. Discretion doesn't feed sensationalization-hungry media who are looking for the shocking angle to sucker people into the drama. "No boundaries" is the current modus operandi of our culture. It is breaking my heart, it is tearing us up as a people and it is undermining the Christian faith.
I am not an expert on responsibility and discretion for any platform except the church. That's an area that every pastor -- and especially every DS--needs to be an expert in because we have a corollary freedom: the freedom of speech in the pulpit. One of the greatest gifts of the United Methodist Church to its people is the gift of a free pulpit. That is, our congregations do not hire and they do not fire their pastors. We believe that serves our churches well in many ways -- but one of the most important is the freedom of the pastor to preach his/her conscience without fear of being fired. It's hard -- not impossible, but very hard--to speak God's prophetic word if the congregation can get together the next day, fire you and leave you and your family homeless and jobless. United Methodists have a sending ministry and, thereby, our preachers have a free pulpit. We encourage our pastors to study, pray and preach what God lays on their heart. Preaching God's word freely is the gift of the free pulpit and the greatest benefit to any congregation.
But we also insist that the platform of the pulpit is a place of responsibility. And I am now part of the accountability system in place that shows how much the church values responsibility. Just because our preachers are free to preach God's Word does not mean they are free to mis-use the pulpit for personal passions. For example, while I have very passionate political convictions, it is not appropriate for me to use my platform position with people to tell them who to vote for in the election. That would be irresponsible and I have never done it. I can appropriately urge members in the congregation to vote. But I would misuse my freedom and my place of influence as a pastor to tell people who to vote for--or to publicly criticize a church member from the pulpit. That would be wrong -- even if my criticism is fully justified. Freedom is not license to tear people up. Speaking your mind doesn't require that you tell it all. There's a responsibility that goes along with a platform.
And that's what we are missing in this country. People with a platform think that they can say or do anything they want. I strenuously disagree. People with a platform --an entre into people's lives have a responsibility to be honest, balanced and responsible in what they say. I cannot conceive of any thinking Christian disagreeing with that.
And yet, many Christians tune into --and let their thoughts be shaped by--politicians and media who do not live out standards of honesty, discretion or responsibility. In fact, some people deliberately tune into the strident voices. While it may have more entertainment value to listen to people rant and rave than to get a balanced picture, tuning to heated opinions rather than measured assessments has a terrible price for the listener--and we are paying a terrible price in our country and our communities and our churches. The overspill is toxic. The effect on people's well being and relationships is devastating.
I would not tell people, even in my blog, where to get their information. Even though this is my opinion and only my opinion, I still feel a sense of responsibility to an ethical and fair presentation of issues. But I have questions for all freedom-loving, freedom-benefitting Christians:
1. Do you get information about the world from one or from multiple sources?
2. Does your preferred information provider have a reputation for reliable, balanced information or opinions that largely reflect one perspective?
3. Do you believe everything your information provider says or do you check out the facts of something that was reported before you get upset?
4. Does your information provider slant reports in drastic terms, use sensational language? Is there name-calling and criticism of others as part of the coverage?
5. Does listening to your information provider help you love others or be a more faithful disciple of Jesus Christ?
Questions 1 - 4 give you important clues to the integrity of whatever you choose to give your attention to. Question 5 is truly the key question for all Christians.
We have lost our minds in this country.
My observation is that we as a culture are going through a very immature phase. I pray that it is a phase. The phase is characterized by an independent streak that declares itself consistently like this: "This is a free country. I can do whatever I please." And the corollary of this declaration of freedom is this: "And, if you try to stop me from saying or doing whatever I want, I will attack you for violating my freedom." Whoa. I hear it in the culture and run into it in the church every day. Friends (this is my opinion and only my opinion), we are on the wrong track!
Does anyone believe that "I can do anything I want to" honors the freedom? Or that it builds up our common life? Or that, more pertinent to me and those who would read my opinion, does "I can do whatever I want to!!!" bear any resemblance to Christian faith? Paul had this same fight with the Galatians when they misunderstood freedom in Christ. Just because they were free in Christ did not mean they had license to sin. Freedom does not mean that now I can do whatever I want.
This is a constant uproar in our country. People in public say untrue things, distorted things (especially in election time), extreme things and divisive things--and defend their irresponsibility with an appeal to freedom of speech. It makes me crazy. Just because you live in a country where you have the freedom to say something false doesn't mean it is right for anyone to be misleading or false. Freedom of speech is not a permission slip for dishonesty. Freedom carries responsibility for all citizens. For Christians, doubly so. It is wrong to say "I live in a country which values freedom of speech. That means I can say anything I want to." That's an attitude of irresponsibility.
The way it looks to me is that public figures are actually penalized for discretion. Discretion doesn't make headlines. Discretion doesn't feed sensationalization-hungry media who are looking for the shocking angle to sucker people into the drama. "No boundaries" is the current modus operandi of our culture. It is breaking my heart, it is tearing us up as a people and it is undermining the Christian faith.
I am not an expert on responsibility and discretion for any platform except the church. That's an area that every pastor -- and especially every DS--needs to be an expert in because we have a corollary freedom: the freedom of speech in the pulpit. One of the greatest gifts of the United Methodist Church to its people is the gift of a free pulpit. That is, our congregations do not hire and they do not fire their pastors. We believe that serves our churches well in many ways -- but one of the most important is the freedom of the pastor to preach his/her conscience without fear of being fired. It's hard -- not impossible, but very hard--to speak God's prophetic word if the congregation can get together the next day, fire you and leave you and your family homeless and jobless. United Methodists have a sending ministry and, thereby, our preachers have a free pulpit. We encourage our pastors to study, pray and preach what God lays on their heart. Preaching God's word freely is the gift of the free pulpit and the greatest benefit to any congregation.
But we also insist that the platform of the pulpit is a place of responsibility. And I am now part of the accountability system in place that shows how much the church values responsibility. Just because our preachers are free to preach God's Word does not mean they are free to mis-use the pulpit for personal passions. For example, while I have very passionate political convictions, it is not appropriate for me to use my platform position with people to tell them who to vote for in the election. That would be irresponsible and I have never done it. I can appropriately urge members in the congregation to vote. But I would misuse my freedom and my place of influence as a pastor to tell people who to vote for--or to publicly criticize a church member from the pulpit. That would be wrong -- even if my criticism is fully justified. Freedom is not license to tear people up. Speaking your mind doesn't require that you tell it all. There's a responsibility that goes along with a platform.
And that's what we are missing in this country. People with a platform think that they can say or do anything they want. I strenuously disagree. People with a platform --an entre into people's lives have a responsibility to be honest, balanced and responsible in what they say. I cannot conceive of any thinking Christian disagreeing with that.
And yet, many Christians tune into --and let their thoughts be shaped by--politicians and media who do not live out standards of honesty, discretion or responsibility. In fact, some people deliberately tune into the strident voices. While it may have more entertainment value to listen to people rant and rave than to get a balanced picture, tuning to heated opinions rather than measured assessments has a terrible price for the listener--and we are paying a terrible price in our country and our communities and our churches. The overspill is toxic. The effect on people's well being and relationships is devastating.
I would not tell people, even in my blog, where to get their information. Even though this is my opinion and only my opinion, I still feel a sense of responsibility to an ethical and fair presentation of issues. But I have questions for all freedom-loving, freedom-benefitting Christians:
1. Do you get information about the world from one or from multiple sources?
2. Does your preferred information provider have a reputation for reliable, balanced information or opinions that largely reflect one perspective?
3. Do you believe everything your information provider says or do you check out the facts of something that was reported before you get upset?
4. Does your information provider slant reports in drastic terms, use sensational language? Is there name-calling and criticism of others as part of the coverage?
5. Does listening to your information provider help you love others or be a more faithful disciple of Jesus Christ?
Questions 1 - 4 give you important clues to the integrity of whatever you choose to give your attention to. Question 5 is truly the key question for all Christians.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
No wonder people are unnerved...the markers have changed
Like many other church members, I have gotten used to telling if someone was a Christian by whether or not they are sitting in the pew on Sunday morning. To be honest, I am not sure that has ever been a good marker. Some of the most unchristian verbal exchanges and actions have come from those people who didn't miss a Sunday.
There is a big shock factor for people to hear, read and experience how many young adults have left the church behind. These young adults are, for the most part, spiritual seekers. But they didn't see transformation in the lives of those who raised them in church. That's a simplistic -- but important--part of the analysis. The competition for the time of people is fierce and, in the press of life, people (of all ages -- but especially young adults ) are choosing to spend their time where it makes a difference. And, for too many of them, church is not the place where they see a life-changing difference.
So the challenge for the church (and, in my opinion, the GIFT to the church) is to get up off our blessed assurance and superficial measurements and show the life-changing difference of Christ in our lives. That's a big shift -- but it shouldn't be. This shift to showing personal signs of transformation should be second nature to lives grounded in Christ.
For too long, we have let the definition of Christian to equal showing up for worship at 11:00 on Sunday morning. Those days are over (whether people realize it or not). Our younger generations are handing us an opportunity to show Christ's redemptive grace in our lives by the way we talk (or don't talk) about others, our willingness to forgive, our love of those who do us wrong and Christlike attitudes of welcome to all, healing grace and humility. Young adults are not looking to see who has perfect attendance on Sunday morning. They are looking to see who has changed lives. It's a big shift for those who are used to thinking that they took care of being a Christian by warming the pew Sunday morning at 11:00.
This is, in my opinion, a change in the right direction. Methodists have always believed that what we profess should make a visible difference in our lives. People should be able to identify us as Christians because of our love for each other, our respect for God's creation and our Christlike behavior every day of the week. If we sit in the pew every Sunday and don't have love for others, we have missed the point. And, from where I sit, way too many have been regular church attenders and have entirely missed the main point of the gospel: that we should love others the way Christ has loved us.
Don't misunderstand me. I am a big fan of people attending church. But attendance is not the same as a transformed life. Attendance at inspiring worship with a community of loving people helps us understand and receive the transforming love of Christ. I want our lost generation of young adults back in church. But the bigger picture is for the church to be the place for the redeeming, life-changing experiences for disciples of Jesus Christ. Our young adults won't come back to sit in a pew for boring worship. But I believe they will come back for a church experience that makes a difference for their difficult decisions, their attitudes toward others, the strength to forgive and heartache for life's sorrow.
We have our work cut out for us. But our goal is simply to follow Jesus fully...to get back to our Methodist roots of moving on toward perfection. If we make this change, it will be a blessing for all of us.
There is a big shock factor for people to hear, read and experience how many young adults have left the church behind. These young adults are, for the most part, spiritual seekers. But they didn't see transformation in the lives of those who raised them in church. That's a simplistic -- but important--part of the analysis. The competition for the time of people is fierce and, in the press of life, people (of all ages -- but especially young adults ) are choosing to spend their time where it makes a difference. And, for too many of them, church is not the place where they see a life-changing difference.
So the challenge for the church (and, in my opinion, the GIFT to the church) is to get up off our blessed assurance and superficial measurements and show the life-changing difference of Christ in our lives. That's a big shift -- but it shouldn't be. This shift to showing personal signs of transformation should be second nature to lives grounded in Christ.
For too long, we have let the definition of Christian to equal showing up for worship at 11:00 on Sunday morning. Those days are over (whether people realize it or not). Our younger generations are handing us an opportunity to show Christ's redemptive grace in our lives by the way we talk (or don't talk) about others, our willingness to forgive, our love of those who do us wrong and Christlike attitudes of welcome to all, healing grace and humility. Young adults are not looking to see who has perfect attendance on Sunday morning. They are looking to see who has changed lives. It's a big shift for those who are used to thinking that they took care of being a Christian by warming the pew Sunday morning at 11:00.
This is, in my opinion, a change in the right direction. Methodists have always believed that what we profess should make a visible difference in our lives. People should be able to identify us as Christians because of our love for each other, our respect for God's creation and our Christlike behavior every day of the week. If we sit in the pew every Sunday and don't have love for others, we have missed the point. And, from where I sit, way too many have been regular church attenders and have entirely missed the main point of the gospel: that we should love others the way Christ has loved us.
Don't misunderstand me. I am a big fan of people attending church. But attendance is not the same as a transformed life. Attendance at inspiring worship with a community of loving people helps us understand and receive the transforming love of Christ. I want our lost generation of young adults back in church. But the bigger picture is for the church to be the place for the redeeming, life-changing experiences for disciples of Jesus Christ. Our young adults won't come back to sit in a pew for boring worship. But I believe they will come back for a church experience that makes a difference for their difficult decisions, their attitudes toward others, the strength to forgive and heartache for life's sorrow.
We have our work cut out for us. But our goal is simply to follow Jesus fully...to get back to our Methodist roots of moving on toward perfection. If we make this change, it will be a blessing for all of us.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A small shift -- but a BIG difference
I was excited at the change of questions for churches at Charge Conference. The annual report of the church's activities has, in my opinion, not served churches well. Giving a report of the state of the church has, most of the time, turned into a list of activities. Very often, it is a comprehensive list of ALL the church's activities for the past year--which can be heard with very little insight into the state of the church. And, much more important than the "state of the church" is how people are growing in their relationship to God.
So this year, we are asking a different question...a more important question:
WHERE HAVE YOU SEEN GOD IN THE LIFE OF YOUR CHURCH and
WHAT DIFFERENCE HAS YOUR CHURCH MADE IN YOUR COMMUNITY?
I talked about the change with my pastors face-to-face. I sent a letter to every Administrative Council chairs describing the change. I thought that would be a clear introduction to the change of question.
I was wrong.
My Charge Conference experience so far this year has taught me that when people are used to doing things one way, no matter what you have on the paperwork, no matter what you have said to them, they are going to do what they are used to doing. I introduce each Charge Conference with a little explanation of the change of what we are asking from the churches. I explain that the shift is prayerful and deliberate...that this year, we are asking for a TESTIMONY, not a report of activities. People politely sit there and nod affirmingly. And then, when it is time for the report of the church, they do exactly what I have said we are not going to do this year. Amazing.
This week, one church read a list of activities. I thanked them. And then I repeated the question: "What we want to hear in our Charge Conference setting is where you have seen God in the life of your church and what difference has it made in the community. I'll give you a minute to think about it."
I am certain that this church -- and others--were not trying to be uncooperative when they made their list of activities for the Charge Conference report. They were just doing what they were used to doing. I don't want to embarrass any one (or any church) at Charge Conference, but I think it is of prime importance for them to answer the question we are asking: WHERE HAVE YOU SEEN GOD IN THE LIFE OF YOUR CHURCH?
Just because a chicken pie supper is held at the church doesn't mean anyone has seen God at work through that activity. Just because a Sunday School class visits shut-ins once a month doesn't mean that they have seen God in their visits. Just because a church held a community-wide worship service on Good Friday doesn't mean they have seen God in that service. In fact, my experience says that the longer the tradition (of the barbeque, the outreach, the joint workship service--whatever) the less people recognize God at work in the activity. Whether it is fundraisers or projects, a sense of obligation sets in and it seems to be harder for people to see how God has been active in their midst.
Our activities tell about our effort. This year, we are asking people to focus on God and how they have seen God active in their midst. And if that is a huge shift of mindset for people, then I think the church has been failing to ask the right question for a long time. And unintentionally, perhaps, we have let people think that their activities, just because they were church activities, were kingdom-building and faith-enhancing. In our hearts, we all know that is not so. We know plenty of church activities that only bring tiredness and discouragement.
I didn't think the change of question was a major shift. But apparently it is.
That's fine. We're just going to keep at it. Because the church, of all places, should be clear on where and how God is working in life. The Christian, of all persons, should be clear on where we see God at work in our lives. So I'll keep explaining. I'll keep reminding. I'll persist until people answer the question they have been given. Not "What have you done?" but "Where have you seen God at work?"
So this year, we are asking a different question...a more important question:
WHERE HAVE YOU SEEN GOD IN THE LIFE OF YOUR CHURCH and
WHAT DIFFERENCE HAS YOUR CHURCH MADE IN YOUR COMMUNITY?
I talked about the change with my pastors face-to-face. I sent a letter to every Administrative Council chairs describing the change. I thought that would be a clear introduction to the change of question.
I was wrong.
My Charge Conference experience so far this year has taught me that when people are used to doing things one way, no matter what you have on the paperwork, no matter what you have said to them, they are going to do what they are used to doing. I introduce each Charge Conference with a little explanation of the change of what we are asking from the churches. I explain that the shift is prayerful and deliberate...that this year, we are asking for a TESTIMONY, not a report of activities. People politely sit there and nod affirmingly. And then, when it is time for the report of the church, they do exactly what I have said we are not going to do this year. Amazing.
This week, one church read a list of activities. I thanked them. And then I repeated the question: "What we want to hear in our Charge Conference setting is where you have seen God in the life of your church and what difference has it made in the community. I'll give you a minute to think about it."
I am certain that this church -- and others--were not trying to be uncooperative when they made their list of activities for the Charge Conference report. They were just doing what they were used to doing. I don't want to embarrass any one (or any church) at Charge Conference, but I think it is of prime importance for them to answer the question we are asking: WHERE HAVE YOU SEEN GOD IN THE LIFE OF YOUR CHURCH?
Just because a chicken pie supper is held at the church doesn't mean anyone has seen God at work through that activity. Just because a Sunday School class visits shut-ins once a month doesn't mean that they have seen God in their visits. Just because a church held a community-wide worship service on Good Friday doesn't mean they have seen God in that service. In fact, my experience says that the longer the tradition (of the barbeque, the outreach, the joint workship service--whatever) the less people recognize God at work in the activity. Whether it is fundraisers or projects, a sense of obligation sets in and it seems to be harder for people to see how God has been active in their midst.
Our activities tell about our effort. This year, we are asking people to focus on God and how they have seen God active in their midst. And if that is a huge shift of mindset for people, then I think the church has been failing to ask the right question for a long time. And unintentionally, perhaps, we have let people think that their activities, just because they were church activities, were kingdom-building and faith-enhancing. In our hearts, we all know that is not so. We know plenty of church activities that only bring tiredness and discouragement.
I didn't think the change of question was a major shift. But apparently it is.
That's fine. We're just going to keep at it. Because the church, of all places, should be clear on where and how God is working in life. The Christian, of all persons, should be clear on where we see God at work in our lives. So I'll keep explaining. I'll keep reminding. I'll persist until people answer the question they have been given. Not "What have you done?" but "Where have you seen God at work?"
Monday, September 27, 2010
The First Sin
Through the centuries, the church has often pointed to Eve eating the apple in the Garden of Eden as the first sin. I'm not so sure. I have always felt like the first sin was Adam standing back in silence when he knew she shouldn't eat the apple of that tree. (After all, the command not to eat of that tree was given directly to Adam). But there he stood, in silence, as Eve tries to match wits with the snake. And then, without her partner so much as whispering a caution, eating the apple.
Go ahead and blame the woman if you want to. But I think the sin that has caused more heartache, grief and regrets is Adam's sin: the sin of silence--the sin of not speaking up when you know something is wrong.
Today, one of our United Methodist Churches held a funeral for one of our Christian brothers who knew what it was like to live with the regrets of silence. Woody Cooper was a student at Harding High when, on September 4, 1957, Dorothy Counts became the first black student at the school. The picture of this history-making day flashed around the world -- a sea of white students taunting her, throwing things at her, spitting at her. And Woody Cooper was in that picture.
He wasn't one of the students who threw things or spit at her. But, through the years, he carried a burden of regret that he hadn't stood up for her on that history-making day. Nearly 50 years later, Woody's Sunday School teacher, Sam Smith, was leading a lesson about the sins of omission. The teacher asked if anyone had a sin of omission on their heart. Woody raised his hand and said, "Dorothy Counts". That's when his Sunday School class learned that Woody had been one of the white boys in the world-famous picture on the steps of Harding High School. The next day, Woody Cooper tried to contact Dorothy Counts and apologize.
Their correspondence took some time, but they became friends. The night before he died, she visited with him in the hospital. Today, Dorothy Counts was the one in the crowd -- at his funeral.
49 years is a long time to live with regrets.
I am wondering if the story of Woody Cooper can give us courage to avoid those regrets--to silence our fears instead of our voices; to take a stand for what is right when it matters most. The story of the friendship of Woody Cooper and Dorothy Counts shows that God is working for redemption through all things. But there are moments in history that can't be reclaimed. What might the picture have been in 1957 if Christian white students spoke up and stood up and protected their black sister as she integrated Harding High School? That moment will never come again.
Go ahead and blame the woman if you want to. But I think the sin that has caused more heartache, grief and regrets is Adam's sin: the sin of silence--the sin of not speaking up when you know something is wrong.
Today, one of our United Methodist Churches held a funeral for one of our Christian brothers who knew what it was like to live with the regrets of silence. Woody Cooper was a student at Harding High when, on September 4, 1957, Dorothy Counts became the first black student at the school. The picture of this history-making day flashed around the world -- a sea of white students taunting her, throwing things at her, spitting at her. And Woody Cooper was in that picture.
He wasn't one of the students who threw things or spit at her. But, through the years, he carried a burden of regret that he hadn't stood up for her on that history-making day. Nearly 50 years later, Woody's Sunday School teacher, Sam Smith, was leading a lesson about the sins of omission. The teacher asked if anyone had a sin of omission on their heart. Woody raised his hand and said, "Dorothy Counts". That's when his Sunday School class learned that Woody had been one of the white boys in the world-famous picture on the steps of Harding High School. The next day, Woody Cooper tried to contact Dorothy Counts and apologize.
Their correspondence took some time, but they became friends. The night before he died, she visited with him in the hospital. Today, Dorothy Counts was the one in the crowd -- at his funeral.
49 years is a long time to live with regrets.
I am wondering if the story of Woody Cooper can give us courage to avoid those regrets--to silence our fears instead of our voices; to take a stand for what is right when it matters most. The story of the friendship of Woody Cooper and Dorothy Counts shows that God is working for redemption through all things. But there are moments in history that can't be reclaimed. What might the picture have been in 1957 if Christian white students spoke up and stood up and protected their black sister as she integrated Harding High School? That moment will never come again.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Such a big difference...
This is the time of year that, when pastors ask what season it is during Children's time, some little one is going to say "Football!" As schools resume and summer turns into fall, the wonderful world of high school, college and professional football cranks up. Saturday afternoon, I watched the Duke/Alabama football game (or, at least I watched as much of it as I could bear). If Duke was going to be brave enough to play the #1 team in the nation, I felt like I should watch. I noticed something. At halftime, when the TV commentators are walking the coach off the field, the Alabama coach -- whose team was ahead by a trillion points--said they were going to have to work harder toward the high standard they set for Alabama football.
Hmmm. There was no smug "we are killing them, look how good we are" kind of attitude. The coach went into the locker room saying that they had things they needed to work on, things they needed to improve, things he needed to bring to their attention.
I contrast this attitude with the attitude I find in too many churches -- which is an attitude of being offended at the suggestion there is anything they might want to improve. Somehow, it's an insult to many of our church members that they might need to improve their welcome, improve their stewardship, do a better job of reaching out to their community, etc. Instead of churches adopting the attitude "We have a high standard and we are not going to stop until we're the very best we can be", too many churches have the attitude "We are doing just fine. Don't insult us with the idea that there are ways we need to change or improve."
Amazing. And the stark contrast is even more heart-breaking because the statistics show that with the competition of the culture shifts, many of our churches are NOT doing just fine. They are declining.
Make no mistake about it: Alabama has a great football team this year. But they are great because they don't go around congratulating themselves on how great they are. They are great because they are working at it. They don't take things for granted (even an opponent like Duke) and they keep looking for things they can do better. I'm not a Crimson Tide fan, but I am a big fan of the attitude that makes them great.
United Methodism's founder and first coach, John Wesley, was passionate about a constant need to grow for Christians. His teaching about Christian perfection is one of the unique hallmarks of United Methodism. John Wesley would not recognize a church that said, "We are doing just fine. We don't need to revitalize. We don't need to change." He would absolutely not understand any Christian who said, "Leave us alone. We like things just the way they are." John Wesley had a divine impatience that fueled a constant drive to growth--a more perfect love. United Methodists were ALWAYS geared to grow in holiness.
The United Methodist way -- whether a church is thriving or struggling--is to say, "What can we do better? How can we grow in our faithfulness to Christ? How can we be more effective in sharing God's love with the world?" A church that just wants to congratulate itself is in deep trouble spiritually, no matter what the numbers are. If football teams and coaches understand the constant need for improvement, shouldn't our churches--with the most important mission in the world--be thoroughly committed to being the best we can be for Christ?
Hmmm. There was no smug "we are killing them, look how good we are" kind of attitude. The coach went into the locker room saying that they had things they needed to work on, things they needed to improve, things he needed to bring to their attention.
I contrast this attitude with the attitude I find in too many churches -- which is an attitude of being offended at the suggestion there is anything they might want to improve. Somehow, it's an insult to many of our church members that they might need to improve their welcome, improve their stewardship, do a better job of reaching out to their community, etc. Instead of churches adopting the attitude "We have a high standard and we are not going to stop until we're the very best we can be", too many churches have the attitude "We are doing just fine. Don't insult us with the idea that there are ways we need to change or improve."
Amazing. And the stark contrast is even more heart-breaking because the statistics show that with the competition of the culture shifts, many of our churches are NOT doing just fine. They are declining.
Make no mistake about it: Alabama has a great football team this year. But they are great because they don't go around congratulating themselves on how great they are. They are great because they are working at it. They don't take things for granted (even an opponent like Duke) and they keep looking for things they can do better. I'm not a Crimson Tide fan, but I am a big fan of the attitude that makes them great.
United Methodism's founder and first coach, John Wesley, was passionate about a constant need to grow for Christians. His teaching about Christian perfection is one of the unique hallmarks of United Methodism. John Wesley would not recognize a church that said, "We are doing just fine. We don't need to revitalize. We don't need to change." He would absolutely not understand any Christian who said, "Leave us alone. We like things just the way they are." John Wesley had a divine impatience that fueled a constant drive to growth--a more perfect love. United Methodists were ALWAYS geared to grow in holiness.
The United Methodist way -- whether a church is thriving or struggling--is to say, "What can we do better? How can we grow in our faithfulness to Christ? How can we be more effective in sharing God's love with the world?" A church that just wants to congratulate itself is in deep trouble spiritually, no matter what the numbers are. If football teams and coaches understand the constant need for improvement, shouldn't our churches--with the most important mission in the world--be thoroughly committed to being the best we can be for Christ?
Sunday, September 5, 2010
The Melody Matters
Two years ago, life took an unexpected turn.
Just weeks into a drastic change of ministry appointment, the discovery of a malignant thyroid tumor took my topsy turvey life and threw me a whole new learning curve. One piece of bad news led to another. Grace preceded me at every turn. At the end of the surgery, my brilliant surgeon told my family that, after 5 hours of tedious work, he had not been able to get all the cancer and, further, that damage had been done to my vocal chords.
I could go through additional treatment for the cancer. I have and will continue to go for that. But my voice? Only time would tell.
Time told us that my vocal chords had been significantly damaged. My speaking voice came back. But my singing voice was gone. For months, I cried every time I tried to sing the hymns when I went to worship. Nine months later, when I asked my surgeon if I would sing again, he didn't lecture me about how grateful I should be for the speaking voice I had considering the circumstances. But he didn't mislead me either. Would I sing again? "No." Then, seeing the expression on my face, he said, "Well, let's do a consult with the Voice Clinic."
He didn't tell me that a consult with the Voice Clinic included swallowing a camera which verified and recorded the damage. Yikes. But that consult led to specialized voice therapy which basically told me that if I would be diligent about breathing differently, doing voice exercises every day, relaxation regimens, drink impossible amounts of water, and had faith in my damaged voice that I would be able to sing again. No small challenge.
Through following all (or most -- or many--) of these recommendations, I have learned to develop a decent alto voice. After all this work and effort, singing again should be thrilling. But often, it is miserable.
My frustration with singing alto doesn't have to do with my voice or my ear for harmony. To sing alto, you have to depend on others to really sing the melody. Because no matter how strong your voice is or how good your ear is, if the melody isn't clear, you can't harmonize. The melody doesn't make the sound of all the parts. But the clarity of the melody is what makes it possible for the other parts to add the harmony. When the melody is not clear, all my work goes out the window. Voice or no voice, it sounds awful.
I believe the same thing happens in the church in terms of leadership. The leadership of the church -- lay and clergy--are the ones to sing together the melody of mission for Jesus. The importance of the unity and clarity of this melody cannot possibly be overestimated. Because if the melody of Christ-centeredness is not clear, the mission of the church will be lost and the turmoil of power struggles and resistance will inundate the church.
That's why I have been telling my Nominating Committees that they are crucial partners in the mission of the local church. If they take their job as shuffling names on empty lines instead of evaluating the positive influence of laity in their congregations, the church will be derailed from its mission for Christ. I have told them that without constructive, cooperative, teachable lay leadership, the church will not move forward even with the most gifted pastor.
Lay leadership has long been a priority in United Methodism. Our appointment system is designed to insure that churches are not built around their pastors. And our committees on Nominations and Lay Leadership hold the sacred -- and powerful--and challenging trust to nominate lay leaders who are faithful to their membership vows, Christlike in their actions and positive in their influence in the church.
I have told Nominations members that any lay person who is constantly critical and openly oppositional to the pastor disqualifies himself/herself from leadership. To give or sustain leadership positions to people who are not constructively working with the pastor is to ensure and entrench turmoil in the church. Clergy and lay leaders do not always need to agree. But there needs to be the one central melody of focus on the mission of the church, mutual respect and Christlike behavior. We have a multi-layer system of accountability for the clergy in these areas. And now, during this fall season, we depend on Nominating Committees to put the mission of the church above everything in their important work.
Unless the clergy and laity are singing the melody of Christ first with strength and clarity, no one else can provide the harmony and beauty that lifts the heart and inspires the faith. We are in this together or not at all. There is only one melody. If the lay leaders and clergy aren't singing the same melody, the church will move into the new year profoundly crippled.
Pray for those who sing the melody. Everyone else depends on them.
Just weeks into a drastic change of ministry appointment, the discovery of a malignant thyroid tumor took my topsy turvey life and threw me a whole new learning curve. One piece of bad news led to another. Grace preceded me at every turn. At the end of the surgery, my brilliant surgeon told my family that, after 5 hours of tedious work, he had not been able to get all the cancer and, further, that damage had been done to my vocal chords.
I could go through additional treatment for the cancer. I have and will continue to go for that. But my voice? Only time would tell.
Time told us that my vocal chords had been significantly damaged. My speaking voice came back. But my singing voice was gone. For months, I cried every time I tried to sing the hymns when I went to worship. Nine months later, when I asked my surgeon if I would sing again, he didn't lecture me about how grateful I should be for the speaking voice I had considering the circumstances. But he didn't mislead me either. Would I sing again? "No." Then, seeing the expression on my face, he said, "Well, let's do a consult with the Voice Clinic."
He didn't tell me that a consult with the Voice Clinic included swallowing a camera which verified and recorded the damage. Yikes. But that consult led to specialized voice therapy which basically told me that if I would be diligent about breathing differently, doing voice exercises every day, relaxation regimens, drink impossible amounts of water, and had faith in my damaged voice that I would be able to sing again. No small challenge.
Through following all (or most -- or many--) of these recommendations, I have learned to develop a decent alto voice. After all this work and effort, singing again should be thrilling. But often, it is miserable.
My frustration with singing alto doesn't have to do with my voice or my ear for harmony. To sing alto, you have to depend on others to really sing the melody. Because no matter how strong your voice is or how good your ear is, if the melody isn't clear, you can't harmonize. The melody doesn't make the sound of all the parts. But the clarity of the melody is what makes it possible for the other parts to add the harmony. When the melody is not clear, all my work goes out the window. Voice or no voice, it sounds awful.
I believe the same thing happens in the church in terms of leadership. The leadership of the church -- lay and clergy--are the ones to sing together the melody of mission for Jesus. The importance of the unity and clarity of this melody cannot possibly be overestimated. Because if the melody of Christ-centeredness is not clear, the mission of the church will be lost and the turmoil of power struggles and resistance will inundate the church.
That's why I have been telling my Nominating Committees that they are crucial partners in the mission of the local church. If they take their job as shuffling names on empty lines instead of evaluating the positive influence of laity in their congregations, the church will be derailed from its mission for Christ. I have told them that without constructive, cooperative, teachable lay leadership, the church will not move forward even with the most gifted pastor.
Lay leadership has long been a priority in United Methodism. Our appointment system is designed to insure that churches are not built around their pastors. And our committees on Nominations and Lay Leadership hold the sacred -- and powerful--and challenging trust to nominate lay leaders who are faithful to their membership vows, Christlike in their actions and positive in their influence in the church.
I have told Nominations members that any lay person who is constantly critical and openly oppositional to the pastor disqualifies himself/herself from leadership. To give or sustain leadership positions to people who are not constructively working with the pastor is to ensure and entrench turmoil in the church. Clergy and lay leaders do not always need to agree. But there needs to be the one central melody of focus on the mission of the church, mutual respect and Christlike behavior. We have a multi-layer system of accountability for the clergy in these areas. And now, during this fall season, we depend on Nominating Committees to put the mission of the church above everything in their important work.
Unless the clergy and laity are singing the melody of Christ first with strength and clarity, no one else can provide the harmony and beauty that lifts the heart and inspires the faith. We are in this together or not at all. There is only one melody. If the lay leaders and clergy aren't singing the same melody, the church will move into the new year profoundly crippled.
Pray for those who sing the melody. Everyone else depends on them.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
What If It Were Today?
My car is full of gas.
Since the doctor said the baby could come any time over two weeks ago, I have had the car packed with anything I would need for a several days' stay:
Medicine? Check.
Clothes? Check.
Toiletries? Check.
Favorite pillow? Check.
Camera with empty media card and charged battery? Check.
Gift bags to take to the hospital for the boys when the baby is born? Check.
Now, all I need is the phone call that my daughter is in labor and heading for the hospital. Check. Check. Check....
Living "ready" has been an interesting experience.
I never let the gas guage get below 3/4 tank.
I always have cash (in defiance of the young adult mentality that all you need to carry is your bank card...).
I make it a point to go on to bed at night and get plenty of sleep.
Being ready is more than being excited about the baby coming. Being ready takes thought and planning and care.
When I was a child growing up at revivals and camp meetings, there was a hymn: "Jesus is coming to earth again! What if it were today?" And, I guess other than the early Advent emphasis of the second coming of Christ, I haven't given a lot of thought to living ready. I believe I am ready. I have always dismissed the incessant infatuation with the Second Coming as speculation that is an unfortunate energy drain. Following Jesus closely is the best prescription I know for being ready.
In these days when I have been waiting for the arrival of my first grand daughter, I've thought more about living ready. In the onslaught of my work, there are times that my spiritual fuel get lower than 3/4 tank full. There are times that I am not careful to have the spiritual resources I need for whatever surprising circumstance is around the corner. I am not always careful to get the healing rest I need.
Waiting for our little Mia Rosalie to be born reminds me that maybe I haven't been living as ready for Jesus as I thought. I am completely ready for him in my heart. But maybe I should be more attentive to the practical applications of being ready. I need to continue to live ready long after Mia is born -- ready for the One who is even more important and precious than my granddaughter: Jesus, my Lord and Savior.
Since the doctor said the baby could come any time over two weeks ago, I have had the car packed with anything I would need for a several days' stay:
Medicine? Check.
Clothes? Check.
Toiletries? Check.
Favorite pillow? Check.
Camera with empty media card and charged battery? Check.
Gift bags to take to the hospital for the boys when the baby is born? Check.
Now, all I need is the phone call that my daughter is in labor and heading for the hospital. Check. Check. Check....
Living "ready" has been an interesting experience.
I never let the gas guage get below 3/4 tank.
I always have cash (in defiance of the young adult mentality that all you need to carry is your bank card...).
I make it a point to go on to bed at night and get plenty of sleep.
Being ready is more than being excited about the baby coming. Being ready takes thought and planning and care.
When I was a child growing up at revivals and camp meetings, there was a hymn: "Jesus is coming to earth again! What if it were today?" And, I guess other than the early Advent emphasis of the second coming of Christ, I haven't given a lot of thought to living ready. I believe I am ready. I have always dismissed the incessant infatuation with the Second Coming as speculation that is an unfortunate energy drain. Following Jesus closely is the best prescription I know for being ready.
In these days when I have been waiting for the arrival of my first grand daughter, I've thought more about living ready. In the onslaught of my work, there are times that my spiritual fuel get lower than 3/4 tank full. There are times that I am not careful to have the spiritual resources I need for whatever surprising circumstance is around the corner. I am not always careful to get the healing rest I need.
Waiting for our little Mia Rosalie to be born reminds me that maybe I haven't been living as ready for Jesus as I thought. I am completely ready for him in my heart. But maybe I should be more attentive to the practical applications of being ready. I need to continue to live ready long after Mia is born -- ready for the One who is even more important and precious than my granddaughter: Jesus, my Lord and Savior.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Barely holding back the tears...
My adorable 5 year old wonderful grandson starts kindergarten this week.
I can barely think about it without crying.
How did he get to be 5 in just the blink of an eye?
Tyler (3) Connor (5)
I can barely think about it without crying.
How did he get to be 5 in just the blink of an eye?
Tyler (3) Connor (5)
He is the most amazing child.
I know, I have heard other grandparents gush over their grandchildren. But I am not exaggerating when I talk about my grandson. He is beautiful and affectionate and tender-hearted and lively and free-thinking and joyful about life.
He is also a tease. "Grammy," he said last week, "What is your favorite thing?" "My grandsons" I replied, immediately (thinking he was fishing for affirmation).
"What is your next favorite thing?" he asked. "Duke basketball", I replied.
Then he looked at me and solemnly announced, "Well, MY favorite thing is GOD."
Guess he showed me!
He fills me with love only grandparents could comprehend and, as you can see, keeps me on my toes. And now, he is going to KINDERGARTEN. It feels like the beginning of the end... He is ready and eager and I am holding back the tears.
For years, I have shared this essay with parents whose children are going to kindergarten...I re-did the "son" to "daughter" and sent it to the teachers when my daughters went to kindergarten--crying through every sentence. This year, it's for Connor:
Teach Him Gently...If You Can
My young son starts school tomorrow...it's all going to be strange and new for him for a while and I wish you would sort of treat him gently.
You see, up to now, he's been our little boy.
He's always been the boss of the backyard and his mother has always been around to repair his wounds and I have been there to soothe his feelings.
But now, things are going to be different...
This morning, he's going to walk down the steps, wave his hand and start out on the great adventure -- it's an adventure that will include heartache and tragedy and sorrow.
To live his life in the world he will live in
requires faith and love and courage.
So, world, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand
and teach him the things he will have to know.
Teach him -- but gently--if you can.
He will have to learn that everyone is not just and not every one is true.
But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero;
that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader
that for every enemy, there is a friend.
It will take time, I know, but teach him, if you can
that a nickel earned is more valuable than a dollar found
Teach him to learn to lose -- and to enjoy winning.
Steer him away from envy, if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter.
Let him learn early not to be afraid of bullies and those who would do him wrong.
Teach him the wonder of books but also give him quiet time
to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun
and flowers on the hillside.
In school, world, teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat...
Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if others laugh at his creativity.
Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough people.
Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd
when everyone else is getting on the bandwagon.
Teach him to listen to everyone -- but teach him also to filter all hearts
on the screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.
Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad...
Teach him that there is no shame in tears...
Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success.
Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beward of too much sweetness.
Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob and stand up and fight for what is right.
Teach him gently, world, but don't coddle him.
I know that only the test of fire makes fine steel.
Let him have the courage to be impatient and the patience to be brave.
Teach him to have faith in himself and most of all, to have faith in the God
who will be with him wherever he goes.
adapted from unknown author
I thank God for this amazing little boy, my grandson. And pray that his adventure of life learning always guides him toward his best self.
May God bless and guide parents and teachers and everyone who serves as an example for our beloved little ones.
And help me not to cry too much as my little man heads to kindergarten.
Monday, August 23, 2010
The effect of hard times...
I'm still searching in the Bible for the life-truth that my daughters and I often quote from one of our favorite movies, Steel Magnolias: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." That's just too true to not be included in the Scripture.
I am certain that the effect of hard times is one of the most clarifying signs of Christian character. Going through a crisis can be just the experience that opens your heart to others in difficult circumstances. Going through a hard time can also be just the experience that makes you more insecure, afraid and cold to the suffering of others.
Though we rarely choose the tragedies that invade our lives, we always choose our response. We may not have chosen the economic downturn, the job loss, the cancer diagnosis, the broken marriage, the premature death of a loved one. But in every instance, we choose its affect on us.
I have seen both sides of this. Sometimes, the tragic death of a loved one turns people into the very best Stephen ministers, friends and compassionate church members. Hardship can make a heart more open to the suffering of others, more tender to the struggles and griefs that others carry.
Hardship can also create a hardened shell around a heart. Have you noticed that sometimes people who went through a hard time carry that struggle like a badge of honor and don't blink when others suffer? "I went through it; it won't hurt them." A classic example of that is the doctors who trained under "old school" regimens of inhumane numbers of hours on call as interns and residents--80, sometimes over 100 hours per week on call. Now, with new guidelines surfacing to limit the number of hours that interns and residents can be on call to a more reasonable 60 hours a week, sometimes it is old school physicians who raise the loudest objections. Seems to me they would be the most sympathetic and glad for something to change for the good of others (both doctors AND patients)
I see the same dynamic surfacing in conversations about salaries. "Well," one layperson said to me, "I didn't get a salary raise this year. So I don't think the preacher should get a raise either." As the conversation went on, it was clear that not getting a salary raise had really hurt the layperson. So wouldn't it make more Christian love sense for the layperson to say, "I know how much it hurts to not get a raise. I want something better for my preacher..." (or my daughter, or my neighbor). Is this a "misery loves company" response?
I came into the ministry during the very early days of female clergy. I don't date back to John Wesley, but I came in less than 20 years after the full ordination of women was approved (in 1956). I had a hard time. I qualified for elder's ordination under 4 different Disciplines. And that was just the beginning of the obstacles, the ridicule and the opposition that I went through. But, I put those hard experiences to work to make me an avid advocate of a better church for my daughters and their daughters. It would never occur to me to say, "Well, I had it hard, so it's just fine if they experience prejudice and opposition."
Hardship -- in whatever form--is painful. But hardship is downright tragic if it hardens instead of opens a heart.
I am certain that the effect of hard times is one of the most clarifying signs of Christian character. Going through a crisis can be just the experience that opens your heart to others in difficult circumstances. Going through a hard time can also be just the experience that makes you more insecure, afraid and cold to the suffering of others.
Though we rarely choose the tragedies that invade our lives, we always choose our response. We may not have chosen the economic downturn, the job loss, the cancer diagnosis, the broken marriage, the premature death of a loved one. But in every instance, we choose its affect on us.
I have seen both sides of this. Sometimes, the tragic death of a loved one turns people into the very best Stephen ministers, friends and compassionate church members. Hardship can make a heart more open to the suffering of others, more tender to the struggles and griefs that others carry.
Hardship can also create a hardened shell around a heart. Have you noticed that sometimes people who went through a hard time carry that struggle like a badge of honor and don't blink when others suffer? "I went through it; it won't hurt them." A classic example of that is the doctors who trained under "old school" regimens of inhumane numbers of hours on call as interns and residents--80, sometimes over 100 hours per week on call. Now, with new guidelines surfacing to limit the number of hours that interns and residents can be on call to a more reasonable 60 hours a week, sometimes it is old school physicians who raise the loudest objections. Seems to me they would be the most sympathetic and glad for something to change for the good of others (both doctors AND patients)
I see the same dynamic surfacing in conversations about salaries. "Well," one layperson said to me, "I didn't get a salary raise this year. So I don't think the preacher should get a raise either." As the conversation went on, it was clear that not getting a salary raise had really hurt the layperson. So wouldn't it make more Christian love sense for the layperson to say, "I know how much it hurts to not get a raise. I want something better for my preacher..." (or my daughter, or my neighbor). Is this a "misery loves company" response?
I came into the ministry during the very early days of female clergy. I don't date back to John Wesley, but I came in less than 20 years after the full ordination of women was approved (in 1956). I had a hard time. I qualified for elder's ordination under 4 different Disciplines. And that was just the beginning of the obstacles, the ridicule and the opposition that I went through. But, I put those hard experiences to work to make me an avid advocate of a better church for my daughters and their daughters. It would never occur to me to say, "Well, I had it hard, so it's just fine if they experience prejudice and opposition."
Hardship -- in whatever form--is painful. But hardship is downright tragic if it hardens instead of opens a heart.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Jesus Test
I am very glad for people to send emails to me. Really, I am.
Over 700 people across my district have signed up for my emails, so I get the privilege of sending out emails to lots of people I wouldn't otherwise have a chance to communicate with. I feel it is only right to welcome emails that people send to me. The communication highway, at its best, runs both ways.
I got one this week that was full of beautiful -- actually, stunning--pictures of the life of Christ. They were so striking that I printed them out to put in my Bible.
When I was looking over the printout, I noticed there was a "tag" at the end of the pictures. The tag said that Jesus "is the only one that can save this country and they want Him removed from the government. Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our govenment as the atheists want." Then there was the closing request: "The Jesus Test: 'Jesus said, if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.' This is the simplest test. If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things He has done for you, send this email to a lot of people."
Oh dear.
I would gladly have passed on the beautiful scenes of the life of Christ. But it broke my heart that people could reverently review the scenes of the life of Christ and then think that the "Jesus Test" would be to send an email defying the atheists.
That would be understandable, I guess, except that the teachings of Jesus are so clear about what a true Jesus test is. Jesus was absolutely, penetratingly clear: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." (John 15:12) That is the Jesus test. That -- and nothing else. And how did Jesus love us:? Graceful acceptance, patient guidance, constant forgiveness, sacrificial loving.
The teaching of Jesus makes clear what the Jesus test is: love for others. Since Jesus was very explicit in teaching and example about loving his enemies, it would seem to me that the Jesus test would be how faithfully Christians love atheists. So, to my way of thinking, you could send a thousand emails and still fail the true Jesus test. Wouldn't the real Jesus test be to find an atheist and do something kind?
I still love the scenes of Christ that came with the email. So odd to me that people could look through them, recall the life of Christ and then get side-tracked about Christ's clear intention for his followers.
How many times do we look at pictures of Christ and, by forgetting Christ's teaching and example, miss the true picture?
Over 700 people across my district have signed up for my emails, so I get the privilege of sending out emails to lots of people I wouldn't otherwise have a chance to communicate with. I feel it is only right to welcome emails that people send to me. The communication highway, at its best, runs both ways.
I got one this week that was full of beautiful -- actually, stunning--pictures of the life of Christ. They were so striking that I printed them out to put in my Bible.
When I was looking over the printout, I noticed there was a "tag" at the end of the pictures. The tag said that Jesus "is the only one that can save this country and they want Him removed from the government. Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our govenment as the atheists want." Then there was the closing request: "The Jesus Test: 'Jesus said, if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.' This is the simplest test. If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things He has done for you, send this email to a lot of people."
Oh dear.
I would gladly have passed on the beautiful scenes of the life of Christ. But it broke my heart that people could reverently review the scenes of the life of Christ and then think that the "Jesus Test" would be to send an email defying the atheists.
That would be understandable, I guess, except that the teachings of Jesus are so clear about what a true Jesus test is. Jesus was absolutely, penetratingly clear: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." (John 15:12) That is the Jesus test. That -- and nothing else. And how did Jesus love us:? Graceful acceptance, patient guidance, constant forgiveness, sacrificial loving.
The teaching of Jesus makes clear what the Jesus test is: love for others. Since Jesus was very explicit in teaching and example about loving his enemies, it would seem to me that the Jesus test would be how faithfully Christians love atheists. So, to my way of thinking, you could send a thousand emails and still fail the true Jesus test. Wouldn't the real Jesus test be to find an atheist and do something kind?
I still love the scenes of Christ that came with the email. So odd to me that people could look through them, recall the life of Christ and then get side-tracked about Christ's clear intention for his followers.
How many times do we look at pictures of Christ and, by forgetting Christ's teaching and example, miss the true picture?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
One simple phrase = One huge difference
One simple phrase. That's all I ask. Just follow one simple phrase:
ASK before you ACCUSE
What a world of difference that alone would make!
I got an email this week from someone who was blasting the conference and the bishop and the church. The email didn't attack me by name. But trust me, I was included on the receiving end of the tirade. To read the concerns of this person, you couldn't help but draw the conclusion that people in leadership were insensitive, unbelievably stupid and careless in their decisions. Whoa.
I will be the first one to say there are concerns about the church. And I will be foremost among those who defend the right of people to speak freely. And more than that, I further believe in encouraging people to speak freely and have spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how to incorporate that principle into this new position of ministry.
But could people just ASK before they rattle off a litany of ACCUSATIONS?
If the writer had framed the attacks as questions, the author could have learned that the concerns of heart were shared concerns; that action had already been taken to make things better/different/right; that the people being attacked have a great concern for/heart for the struggles people have. But, instead of lifting up concerns as questions or inquiries, the concerns were attacks that led to all kinds of accusations and far-fetched assumptions.
I'm going to have to learn to receive these better. I can count to ten and not respond in kind. I have learned how to write, re-write, pray and re-write some more. I have learned to forgive and, as I have been recently surprised, I have learned that people sometimes apologize. Maybe politicians learn to disregard the constant barbs, but I am not the only pastor that finds that very difficult to do. Attacking words hurt. And even if an apology comes later, it hurts to pour energy,heart and soul into building up people and the church and then to be lambasted for all kinds of things that really don't apply.
Couldn't people learn to ASK before they ACCUSE? That one guideline would save everyone a lot of unnecessary negative emotion, heartache and hurt feelings.
Keep communicating. But everyone would be better off if people could learn to ASK before they ACCUSE.
ASK before you ACCUSE
What a world of difference that alone would make!
I got an email this week from someone who was blasting the conference and the bishop and the church. The email didn't attack me by name. But trust me, I was included on the receiving end of the tirade. To read the concerns of this person, you couldn't help but draw the conclusion that people in leadership were insensitive, unbelievably stupid and careless in their decisions. Whoa.
I will be the first one to say there are concerns about the church. And I will be foremost among those who defend the right of people to speak freely. And more than that, I further believe in encouraging people to speak freely and have spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how to incorporate that principle into this new position of ministry.
But could people just ASK before they rattle off a litany of ACCUSATIONS?
If the writer had framed the attacks as questions, the author could have learned that the concerns of heart were shared concerns; that action had already been taken to make things better/different/right; that the people being attacked have a great concern for/heart for the struggles people have. But, instead of lifting up concerns as questions or inquiries, the concerns were attacks that led to all kinds of accusations and far-fetched assumptions.
I'm going to have to learn to receive these better. I can count to ten and not respond in kind. I have learned how to write, re-write, pray and re-write some more. I have learned to forgive and, as I have been recently surprised, I have learned that people sometimes apologize. Maybe politicians learn to disregard the constant barbs, but I am not the only pastor that finds that very difficult to do. Attacking words hurt. And even if an apology comes later, it hurts to pour energy,heart and soul into building up people and the church and then to be lambasted for all kinds of things that really don't apply.
Couldn't people learn to ASK before they ACCUSE? That one guideline would save everyone a lot of unnecessary negative emotion, heartache and hurt feelings.
Keep communicating. But everyone would be better off if people could learn to ASK before they ACCUSE.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Take the deeper look
Don't be deceived by the swirl of news. What happened to Shirley Sherrod in our nation this week is deeper than race. I do not minimize the racial component and I pray that I never under estimate the damage that racial prejudice does in this world.
At the same time, I see this same dynamic at work in the church and in the world all the time when there is no racial component. Here's how it goes:
1. Somebody has an agenda/a point to make. They don't care how they make it or who gets hurt in the process. In fact, the way they go about making their point is designed to hurt someone -- often someone innocent.
Those with an agenda are so caught up in their hurt feelings, their cause that they willing to violate every basic constraint of honesty, common respect and integrity. That's step #1.
2. Step #2 is gullibility. People are so gullible that they will believe anything. News/sensation-saturated people will believe a lie in a heartbeat.
3. Step #3 is fear. Constant criticism takes a toll on even the best leaders in the church, in the nation and in the world. Keeping perspective is a constant challenge and a climate of constant criticism eats away at the core of people. At a certain point, they react instead of act. And a reaction is almost always misguided.
That's what happened in the case of Shirley Sherrod. Someone had an agenda. They carefully, deliberately crafted and distributed a video clip that was designed to distort and deceive. Christians of ALL political persuasions should rise up and say that this was wrong. And then, instead of calling out the malicious slandering for what it was, people believed it without getting the whole story. The rush to judgment -- made on all sides--was like a stampede of stupidity. Caution and careful thinking evaporated. And, fear only complicated and deepened the sins that were being committed in this situation to an innocent person.
Lest anyone think that this dynamic is something to criticize in any one political administration, let me say that I see this same dynamic regularly in churches. Someone has an agenda. It is often hurt feelings, a power dynamic or a personal grudge. They have a point to make and, by golly, they are going to be heard. They forget completely about the Golden Rule, the teachings of Christian faith and they go after an audience. (Often it is the District Superintendent! :) ) The fundamental dishonesty of people hell bent on making a point is mind-boggling. And yes, I am talking about people in church. There's a reason the Bible cautions over and over against dishonesty, gossip and slander.
The gullibility of people is also astonishing. People will believe anything. I don't have an explanation for it. This defies rational definition. Time after time, as a pastor and as a District Superintendent, I have had people come to me with tales that, without any research, I know are not true. Once a salacious rumor starts, it's like people throw every teaching of sober judgment out the window. Amazing. There's a reason that much of Scripture is devoted to guiding people to be thoughtful, careful and wise in decision-making.
And then, there is the fear -- fear of what others will think, fear of being attacked, fear of what malicious people will do. Only God knows how many people have compromised their witness and how much faithful ministry has been destroyed because of this fear. There's a reason the Bible teaches over and over "Do not be afraid". Fear leads to sin and very poor decisions.
When people have an axe to grind, hurt feelings to express, a point to make, people ought to say: STOP. Don't do the wrong thing for the wrong reason. When people attack others with lies and innuendo, people ought to say: STOP. Think about it. Get the whole story. When people are afraid, people ought to say: STOP! Fear is an almost certain sign that another mistake is about to be made. Make decisions from faith, not fear.
The cycle we are witnessing on the news is a parable I see played out in churches all the time. I watch it and weep. I watch it and pray that we will learn to rise above it in this horribly antagonistic, contentious world.
At the same time, I see this same dynamic at work in the church and in the world all the time when there is no racial component. Here's how it goes:
1. Somebody has an agenda/a point to make. They don't care how they make it or who gets hurt in the process. In fact, the way they go about making their point is designed to hurt someone -- often someone innocent.
Those with an agenda are so caught up in their hurt feelings, their cause that they willing to violate every basic constraint of honesty, common respect and integrity. That's step #1.
2. Step #2 is gullibility. People are so gullible that they will believe anything. News/sensation-saturated people will believe a lie in a heartbeat.
3. Step #3 is fear. Constant criticism takes a toll on even the best leaders in the church, in the nation and in the world. Keeping perspective is a constant challenge and a climate of constant criticism eats away at the core of people. At a certain point, they react instead of act. And a reaction is almost always misguided.
That's what happened in the case of Shirley Sherrod. Someone had an agenda. They carefully, deliberately crafted and distributed a video clip that was designed to distort and deceive. Christians of ALL political persuasions should rise up and say that this was wrong. And then, instead of calling out the malicious slandering for what it was, people believed it without getting the whole story. The rush to judgment -- made on all sides--was like a stampede of stupidity. Caution and careful thinking evaporated. And, fear only complicated and deepened the sins that were being committed in this situation to an innocent person.
Lest anyone think that this dynamic is something to criticize in any one political administration, let me say that I see this same dynamic regularly in churches. Someone has an agenda. It is often hurt feelings, a power dynamic or a personal grudge. They have a point to make and, by golly, they are going to be heard. They forget completely about the Golden Rule, the teachings of Christian faith and they go after an audience. (Often it is the District Superintendent! :) ) The fundamental dishonesty of people hell bent on making a point is mind-boggling. And yes, I am talking about people in church. There's a reason the Bible cautions over and over against dishonesty, gossip and slander.
The gullibility of people is also astonishing. People will believe anything. I don't have an explanation for it. This defies rational definition. Time after time, as a pastor and as a District Superintendent, I have had people come to me with tales that, without any research, I know are not true. Once a salacious rumor starts, it's like people throw every teaching of sober judgment out the window. Amazing. There's a reason that much of Scripture is devoted to guiding people to be thoughtful, careful and wise in decision-making.
And then, there is the fear -- fear of what others will think, fear of being attacked, fear of what malicious people will do. Only God knows how many people have compromised their witness and how much faithful ministry has been destroyed because of this fear. There's a reason the Bible teaches over and over "Do not be afraid". Fear leads to sin and very poor decisions.
When people have an axe to grind, hurt feelings to express, a point to make, people ought to say: STOP. Don't do the wrong thing for the wrong reason. When people attack others with lies and innuendo, people ought to say: STOP. Think about it. Get the whole story. When people are afraid, people ought to say: STOP! Fear is an almost certain sign that another mistake is about to be made. Make decisions from faith, not fear.
The cycle we are witnessing on the news is a parable I see played out in churches all the time. I watch it and weep. I watch it and pray that we will learn to rise above it in this horribly antagonistic, contentious world.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I think this is progress...
Let me be clear: no one from the Obama administration or the NAACP or Tea Party or conservative commentators have called to ask my opinion. (I have that problem a lot). I think I could help people if they would just call and ask my opinion before they make statements or take action. The situation of the accusations/firing of Shirley Sherrod is one I am pretty sure I could have helped.
The pressures and immediate reactions of our culture are traits that lead directly to false accusations and shallow thinking. My parents told me to think before I speak. Now people make a name for themselves -- and many make a living--by speaking before they think. My parents taught me to get the whole story before making a judgment. Now people make headlines and often financial profit from taking a slice of a story and deliberately distorting it. My debate coach taught me to make my best presentation with the facts but never falsify the facts. And now, people regularly falsify the facts without blinking. And, most importantly, my Christian faith taught me to do unto others what I would want others to do unto me...and to love others the way Jesus loved. Every day the media blasts -- and some specialize in--doing exactly the opposite. The worst of it all, in my opinion, is that some of those people who behave in overtly unchristian practices like to claim the name Christian.
At the same time, I have to savor some delight in hearing the vehement denials of Tea Party people that they are racist. As messy as this incident is, I can't help but see that as progress. 25 years ago in Mississippi, my experience with people who shared the same political anti-big-government philosophy of the Tea Party members was that they were racist and proud of it. Claiming to be a racist was a badge of honor--not only a common way of living in the world, but a proud, patriotic way to be citizens of this country. I am horrified that there are still elements of that philosophy -- people who openly, defiantly, unapologetically claim that they are white supremacists. But one interesting thing that this current flap points out is that even very politically conservative people in this country seem now to understand that being racially prejudiced violates the core values of our country. That's a big shift.
I still see a lot in our nation that tells me that racism is still eating away at our character and working its destructiveness in our society. But if we have come to a common, acknowledged recognition that racism is wrong, we have taken an essential step that---- just in my lifetime --is a giant step forward and something to build on.
The pressures and immediate reactions of our culture are traits that lead directly to false accusations and shallow thinking. My parents told me to think before I speak. Now people make a name for themselves -- and many make a living--by speaking before they think. My parents taught me to get the whole story before making a judgment. Now people make headlines and often financial profit from taking a slice of a story and deliberately distorting it. My debate coach taught me to make my best presentation with the facts but never falsify the facts. And now, people regularly falsify the facts without blinking. And, most importantly, my Christian faith taught me to do unto others what I would want others to do unto me...and to love others the way Jesus loved. Every day the media blasts -- and some specialize in--doing exactly the opposite. The worst of it all, in my opinion, is that some of those people who behave in overtly unchristian practices like to claim the name Christian.
At the same time, I have to savor some delight in hearing the vehement denials of Tea Party people that they are racist. As messy as this incident is, I can't help but see that as progress. 25 years ago in Mississippi, my experience with people who shared the same political anti-big-government philosophy of the Tea Party members was that they were racist and proud of it. Claiming to be a racist was a badge of honor--not only a common way of living in the world, but a proud, patriotic way to be citizens of this country. I am horrified that there are still elements of that philosophy -- people who openly, defiantly, unapologetically claim that they are white supremacists. But one interesting thing that this current flap points out is that even very politically conservative people in this country seem now to understand that being racially prejudiced violates the core values of our country. That's a big shift.
I still see a lot in our nation that tells me that racism is still eating away at our character and working its destructiveness in our society. But if we have come to a common, acknowledged recognition that racism is wrong, we have taken an essential step that---- just in my lifetime --is a giant step forward and something to build on.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Loving the questions
Oh, how I miss the theological exchanges that come in the course of pastoral ministry!
While I was raise in a church that valued the ANSWERS, I have grown to value the place of QUESTIONS and making room for questions.
This week, I called into a doctor's office with questions about an upcoming procedure. The receptionist said, "I'll have the nurse call back with the answer." To which I replied, "But you don't know my question!" The church of my life has often been like that -- giving an answer before knowing the question. Sometimes, it's the questions that make us grow most.
I've been thinking all week about a heartfelt and sincere question that was asked to my father by a young adult who has a very bright theological mind. The context was following a funeral of a wonderfully committed, devout Christian father, grandfather, great-grandfather. The funeral service included The Apostle's Creed...which led to my friend's question: "I've always wondered why the Creed jumps immediately from the birth of Jesus to his suffering and death, leaving out his life." I had to say it again to myself, kind of like I sing the songs with the disciples' names or the alphabet song to get the order right. But right there were the familiar words that made his question jump out: "born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried." I've repeated that creed thousands of times.
Now, because of the thoughtful question, I found myself asking the same thing: What about the LIFE of Jesus? What about the TEACHING of Jesus? What about the EXAMPLE of Jesus? Where is our affirmation of THAT?"
My view of the church from this post led to the immediate observation that, basically, church folks celebrate Christmas, sometimes remember the Passion, celebrate Easter and live as though the life, teaching and example of Jesus didn't mean a thing. Too many people's lives seem to indicate that the birth and death/resurrection are Sunday celebrations and everything in between is neglible. Just skip over the example of Jesus' love of sinners and forgiveness for all. Just ignore Jesus' clear warnings about the spiritual seduction of riches. By all means, don't get serious about loving others the way Jesus loved us. To hear some people talk -- people who quickly label themselves as Christians--care for the poor and welcome to the stranger are anti-Christian strategies to appeal to political correctness.
I doubt that a movement to enlarge the Apostles Creed would gain much traction. But maybe we could learn to remember that when we affirm the birth, suffering, death and resurrection of Christ that those are the bookends to a life that each of us are called to emulate. Thanks, dear friend, for the question. I, for one, will never say the Apostles Creed again without thinking about the life of Christ. We make our affirmation of the life of Christ in the way we live.
While I was raise in a church that valued the ANSWERS, I have grown to value the place of QUESTIONS and making room for questions.
This week, I called into a doctor's office with questions about an upcoming procedure. The receptionist said, "I'll have the nurse call back with the answer." To which I replied, "But you don't know my question!" The church of my life has often been like that -- giving an answer before knowing the question. Sometimes, it's the questions that make us grow most.
I've been thinking all week about a heartfelt and sincere question that was asked to my father by a young adult who has a very bright theological mind. The context was following a funeral of a wonderfully committed, devout Christian father, grandfather, great-grandfather. The funeral service included The Apostle's Creed...which led to my friend's question: "I've always wondered why the Creed jumps immediately from the birth of Jesus to his suffering and death, leaving out his life." I had to say it again to myself, kind of like I sing the songs with the disciples' names or the alphabet song to get the order right. But right there were the familiar words that made his question jump out: "born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried." I've repeated that creed thousands of times.
Now, because of the thoughtful question, I found myself asking the same thing: What about the LIFE of Jesus? What about the TEACHING of Jesus? What about the EXAMPLE of Jesus? Where is our affirmation of THAT?"
My view of the church from this post led to the immediate observation that, basically, church folks celebrate Christmas, sometimes remember the Passion, celebrate Easter and live as though the life, teaching and example of Jesus didn't mean a thing. Too many people's lives seem to indicate that the birth and death/resurrection are Sunday celebrations and everything in between is neglible. Just skip over the example of Jesus' love of sinners and forgiveness for all. Just ignore Jesus' clear warnings about the spiritual seduction of riches. By all means, don't get serious about loving others the way Jesus loved us. To hear some people talk -- people who quickly label themselves as Christians--care for the poor and welcome to the stranger are anti-Christian strategies to appeal to political correctness.
I doubt that a movement to enlarge the Apostles Creed would gain much traction. But maybe we could learn to remember that when we affirm the birth, suffering, death and resurrection of Christ that those are the bookends to a life that each of us are called to emulate. Thanks, dear friend, for the question. I, for one, will never say the Apostles Creed again without thinking about the life of Christ. We make our affirmation of the life of Christ in the way we live.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Dreaming of a Christian Nation
The birthday of our nation -- like the birthday of a life--is the time to remember the wonder and the dreams and the ideals of purpose. A few weeks ago, a letter to the editor in the Statesville Record and Landmark was slamming President Obama for just about every problem in the nation. The writer closed the letter by saying, "And, by the way, Mr. President, this is still a Christian nation."
Since reading that, I have been thinking about what that phrase might mean: "A Christian nation". This is what I am sure about:
A Christian nation would be a nation that followed the life, teaching and example of Christ. Christian = Christlike. And when I look at the life, teaching an example, these are the characteristics that I would say reflect Christ:
A welcome to all. You can't look at the life of Christ and miss his open heart to everyone: fishermen, tax collectors, zealots, women, lepers, demon-possessed, Roman centurians, Sanhedrin members... Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) has an open heart and love for all.
Perspective on wealth. While it is true that Jesus taught more about money than any other subject, his teaching was all geared to help people detach from money; to recongize that true security doesn't come from money; to warn about the seduction of money. Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) would trust in Christ for security and keep wealth in perspective.
Love for all--including all enemies-- and forgiveness for all those who do us wrong. God's love shown in Jesus was uncompromising good will and forgiveness for everyone. Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) would love their enemies as well as their friends and extend forgiveness to all who wrong them.
Concern for the poor. Jesus' New Commandment in John 15 becomes the high standard of Christian life: love one another the way Jesus loved us. He unfailingly taught that concern for the poor was inescapably linked with pleasing God. Jesus plainly taught that helping the least, the hungry, the thirsty, the naked, the imprisoned were acts serving Christ himself. Any one (person or nation) who is Christian (Christ-like) would be devoted to concern and care for the poor.
A predisposition of grace. Jesus was graceful and extended grace to very human, fallible disciples. With the exception of the religious caught up in self-righteousness, Jesus didn't spend his time condemning others. He extended mercy, grace and second-chances. Any one (person or nation) who is Christian (Christ-like) would be graceful and merciful.
When I think about what it means to be a Christian, I have to disagree with the writer of the Letter to the Editor. We may have Christian roots, but across the country, we are not acting like Christians. Hostility to strangers, absorption with money as a source of entitlement and happiness, expressed hostility in every area of our national life, a disdain for the poor and resentment toward help for the poor, constant criticism, attacks and unforgiving spirits: there's no way the United States I observes qualifies as a Christian nation. Jesus said, "You are my friends if you do what I command you." (John 15:14)
I love this nation. I celebrate and revel in the freedoms we enjoy. It is my prayer today that we would rearrange our practices to reflect our ideals and become a nation that is Christ-like.
Since reading that, I have been thinking about what that phrase might mean: "A Christian nation". This is what I am sure about:
A Christian nation would be a nation that followed the life, teaching and example of Christ. Christian = Christlike. And when I look at the life, teaching an example, these are the characteristics that I would say reflect Christ:
A welcome to all. You can't look at the life of Christ and miss his open heart to everyone: fishermen, tax collectors, zealots, women, lepers, demon-possessed, Roman centurians, Sanhedrin members... Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) has an open heart and love for all.
Perspective on wealth. While it is true that Jesus taught more about money than any other subject, his teaching was all geared to help people detach from money; to recongize that true security doesn't come from money; to warn about the seduction of money. Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) would trust in Christ for security and keep wealth in perspective.
Love for all--including all enemies-- and forgiveness for all those who do us wrong. God's love shown in Jesus was uncompromising good will and forgiveness for everyone. Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) would love their enemies as well as their friends and extend forgiveness to all who wrong them.
Concern for the poor. Jesus' New Commandment in John 15 becomes the high standard of Christian life: love one another the way Jesus loved us. He unfailingly taught that concern for the poor was inescapably linked with pleasing God. Jesus plainly taught that helping the least, the hungry, the thirsty, the naked, the imprisoned were acts serving Christ himself. Any one (person or nation) who is Christian (Christ-like) would be devoted to concern and care for the poor.
A predisposition of grace. Jesus was graceful and extended grace to very human, fallible disciples. With the exception of the religious caught up in self-righteousness, Jesus didn't spend his time condemning others. He extended mercy, grace and second-chances. Any one (person or nation) who is Christian (Christ-like) would be graceful and merciful.
When I think about what it means to be a Christian, I have to disagree with the writer of the Letter to the Editor. We may have Christian roots, but across the country, we are not acting like Christians. Hostility to strangers, absorption with money as a source of entitlement and happiness, expressed hostility in every area of our national life, a disdain for the poor and resentment toward help for the poor, constant criticism, attacks and unforgiving spirits: there's no way the United States I observes qualifies as a Christian nation. Jesus said, "You are my friends if you do what I command you." (John 15:14)
I love this nation. I celebrate and revel in the freedoms we enjoy. It is my prayer today that we would rearrange our practices to reflect our ideals and become a nation that is Christ-like.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
When the heat is on...
I have always loved flowers.
And I especially love the beautiful yard that I have now.
But in the last couple of years, I realize that my passion for flowers has taken on a new dimension. In the springtime, planting has been therapy. When I plant flowers, they stay put--unlike the appointments of the spring of the year which are always being adjusted and changed. Planting flowers is a beautiful habit to have -- giving me results which are tangible (something else that ministry doesn't always provide...especially on the District).
At the same time, I have learned that the beautiful flowers that were therapy and beauty in the springtime have to be watered in the heat of the summer. The hotter the temperature, the more water is needed. And it doesn't matter how beautiful the flat of annuals was in April or May, if I don't keep watering and feeding the plants in June, July and August, they are going to die. No plant can make it without water in these withering temperatures.
I am learning to pray as I water because I think that people are like my flowers. No matter how beautiful or well rooted, people need constant feeding, constant nourishment, constant inspiration if they are going to continue to flourish. We make a terrible mistake to look at our church members, leaders or visitors and see their dressed-up exterior and think they, in their polished appearance, can go for long without continual, significant nourishment.
While in the course of the seasons, this brutal hot weather is generally confined to the summer months, we are living in a culture that is heavy-laden with the stifling heat of criticism, despair, disillusionment and anger. We've got to water and water and water and water if we want our Christian members, family and friends to be beautiful in an atmosphere like this. Water when we feel like it and water when we are weary. Water when the weather is pleasant and especially water when temperatures are scortching hot.
As Paul wrote to the Galatians, let us not be weary in doing right. We will reap at harvest time if we do not lose heart. "So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all, especially for those of the family of faith." (Galatians 6:9-10)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I couldn't believe it.
I know it sounds silly, but I almost corrected the Bishop on Sunday morning of Annual Conference. Preparing to confirm the Statesville District appointments, he introduced me as the superintendent for the 3rd year. And it startled me. I was concentrating on not stumbling on the line "The Statesville District appointments are correct as printed" (not a big line, but at least one of us stumbles on it each year). So when he said I was coming back on the cabinet for year 3, I thought, "No way. That couldn't be. I am just getting started." Mentally, I had to count it out because that just didn't sound right to me.
Maybe if he said I was finishing year 2, the year wouldn't have jolted me so. There has been so much to learn on this job, I still feel like a novice. Even if it is year 3. Learning and growing is important in every role in life. Through the years, what joy I have had in learning new things serving churches as a pastor! But, on the cabinet, I've had more to learn than ever before. This is a short list of what I have learned about being on the cabinet:
People who serve the church on the cabinet have to have an extraordinary commitment to the church which must be continually renewed and deepened. This commitment is a vital counterbalance to the discouragement of situations that continually come to our attention.
People who serve the church on the cabinet must have deep spiritual roots that are constantly renewed. Pastors, of course, also need deep spiritual roots. But the pastoral life in a local church has built-in healing rhythms of spiritual encouragement. Yes, there are discouraging experiences in local church ministry. But the faith-depleting experiences are cradled in the healing, renewing of regular preaching, sweet moments by hospital bedsides, baptisms, serving communion, DISCIPLE Bible studies and other uplifting, inspiring experiences. Life on the cabinet doesn't have built-in healing rhythms.
People who serve the church on the cabinet need to be good judges of character. Pastors, of course, need to be good judges of character. But it was easier to wisely size up a person or situation when church life offered so many different contexts to understand people. And the willingness of people to exaggerate, misrepresent and out-right lie is astounding. Getting a true picture is complicated. Patience, persistence and perspective are daily requirements.
People who serve the church on the cabinet need to be unafraid of conflict, difficulties and church bullies. I don't know anyone who enjoys conflict. Knowing how to navigate conflict is at the essential core of this work. That's a continual learning curve.
People who serve the church on the cabinet have to be willing to be scapegoats. DS's are the connecting link in the connectional church. Add to the mix that, with the culture shift, we are a church that has to change and if there's anything the church resists, it's change. We serve a volatile mix. People are stressed and angry and anxious and that shows. Anyone who lives in a family understands this dynamic. Every pastor has experience with this. The cabinet factor is that there are multi-levels where we are scapegoats: with congregations, with pastors and with all kinds of groups with complaints, concerns and frustrations. Taking misunderstandings, frustrations and outbursts in stride is a constant, ongoing challenge. Humility is built into the daily fabric of the work.
Maybe the nature of the work and the constant demand of the learning curve is why I hadn't noticed how time had flown or why, by now, I feel I should know more than I do about this work. These are life areas that always have to be renewed, deepened and expanded.
I am beginning year 3. Unbelievable.
Maybe if he said I was finishing year 2, the year wouldn't have jolted me so. There has been so much to learn on this job, I still feel like a novice. Even if it is year 3. Learning and growing is important in every role in life. Through the years, what joy I have had in learning new things serving churches as a pastor! But, on the cabinet, I've had more to learn than ever before. This is a short list of what I have learned about being on the cabinet:
People who serve the church on the cabinet have to have an extraordinary commitment to the church which must be continually renewed and deepened. This commitment is a vital counterbalance to the discouragement of situations that continually come to our attention.
People who serve the church on the cabinet must have deep spiritual roots that are constantly renewed. Pastors, of course, also need deep spiritual roots. But the pastoral life in a local church has built-in healing rhythms of spiritual encouragement. Yes, there are discouraging experiences in local church ministry. But the faith-depleting experiences are cradled in the healing, renewing of regular preaching, sweet moments by hospital bedsides, baptisms, serving communion, DISCIPLE Bible studies and other uplifting, inspiring experiences. Life on the cabinet doesn't have built-in healing rhythms.
People who serve the church on the cabinet need to be good judges of character. Pastors, of course, need to be good judges of character. But it was easier to wisely size up a person or situation when church life offered so many different contexts to understand people. And the willingness of people to exaggerate, misrepresent and out-right lie is astounding. Getting a true picture is complicated. Patience, persistence and perspective are daily requirements.
People who serve the church on the cabinet need to be unafraid of conflict, difficulties and church bullies. I don't know anyone who enjoys conflict. Knowing how to navigate conflict is at the essential core of this work. That's a continual learning curve.
People who serve the church on the cabinet have to be willing to be scapegoats. DS's are the connecting link in the connectional church. Add to the mix that, with the culture shift, we are a church that has to change and if there's anything the church resists, it's change. We serve a volatile mix. People are stressed and angry and anxious and that shows. Anyone who lives in a family understands this dynamic. Every pastor has experience with this. The cabinet factor is that there are multi-levels where we are scapegoats: with congregations, with pastors and with all kinds of groups with complaints, concerns and frustrations. Taking misunderstandings, frustrations and outbursts in stride is a constant, ongoing challenge. Humility is built into the daily fabric of the work.
Maybe the nature of the work and the constant demand of the learning curve is why I hadn't noticed how time had flown or why, by now, I feel I should know more than I do about this work. These are life areas that always have to be renewed, deepened and expanded.
I am beginning year 3. Unbelievable.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Please don't make it a game...
I am grateful to be home for a few days with my father for Father's Day. When I am home, I think I ought to do what he wants us to do -- a concept called "Cherish Every Minute". So today, I was with the Triple L's for lunch. That's my home church's "Living Longer and Loving It" group. Many of these adults are the people that I knew growing up. Amost 50 years ago when my father was the pastor here, I babysat for their children. They led my junior choir and taught children's SS classes and Vacation Bible School. So having a meal with them is like a family reunion.
Today had the added feature of being an occasion to meet the newly appointed pastor. Since the new pastor doesn't begin until this coming Sunday, I was not surprised at the big turnout to meet the new preacher. One of my favorite people came up to me and said, "I put him to the test!"
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"The new preacher." She replied. "I stopped by the church and met him yesterday. Today, I walked up to him and said, 'This is a test. Do you remember what my name is?" I love this woman. I have loved and respected her for decades. But I said, "PLEASE do not do that. Please, please, please do not do that. It's not fair. You have 2 names to remember and he has 1200. You should tell him your name right off the bat for at least the first 3 months."
She may have thought I was kidding. But I am not. One of the most unkind things people do is put new preachers on the spot to know their name. It is, for them, just what this lady said: a test. And it's an unfair test. I used to tell people to make a choice: voluntarily introduce yourself or don't change clothes for the first six months. People have no idea how hard it is to get names, faces, families and circumstances together in a new situation.
I rarely am in a group setting where someone doesn't come up and start a conversation like this: "You don't remember me, do you?" I have stopped apologizing when I don't recognize people because most of the time they remember me from sometime I was preaching. They were in a congregation of several hundred. Often I learn that I had not actually been introduced to them personally. But yet their opening line is often, "You don't know me, do you?"
I know that everyone wants to feel that they are special. The truly special people will patiently, consistently take the initiative to introduce themselves to a new preacher and find ways to test their new pastor on something more important: the quality of their sermons, the virtues of their example and the depth of their prayer life.
Today had the added feature of being an occasion to meet the newly appointed pastor. Since the new pastor doesn't begin until this coming Sunday, I was not surprised at the big turnout to meet the new preacher. One of my favorite people came up to me and said, "I put him to the test!"
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"The new preacher." She replied. "I stopped by the church and met him yesterday. Today, I walked up to him and said, 'This is a test. Do you remember what my name is?" I love this woman. I have loved and respected her for decades. But I said, "PLEASE do not do that. Please, please, please do not do that. It's not fair. You have 2 names to remember and he has 1200. You should tell him your name right off the bat for at least the first 3 months."
She may have thought I was kidding. But I am not. One of the most unkind things people do is put new preachers on the spot to know their name. It is, for them, just what this lady said: a test. And it's an unfair test. I used to tell people to make a choice: voluntarily introduce yourself or don't change clothes for the first six months. People have no idea how hard it is to get names, faces, families and circumstances together in a new situation.
I rarely am in a group setting where someone doesn't come up and start a conversation like this: "You don't remember me, do you?" I have stopped apologizing when I don't recognize people because most of the time they remember me from sometime I was preaching. They were in a congregation of several hundred. Often I learn that I had not actually been introduced to them personally. But yet their opening line is often, "You don't know me, do you?"
I know that everyone wants to feel that they are special. The truly special people will patiently, consistently take the initiative to introduce themselves to a new preacher and find ways to test their new pastor on something more important: the quality of their sermons, the virtues of their example and the depth of their prayer life.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Walking down memory lane...
No, this isn't a picture-postcard. Just a photo I took this morning after having prayer time at the cross...just a portrayal of the everyday beauty at Lake Junaluska.
Walking around Lake Junaluska is a walk down memory lane for me. My parents first brought me here when I was 2 years old. Through the years, places all across Lake Junaluska have become precious in my memory bank: our family staying at the Junaluska apartments for vacation; going to the playground at the Children's Building when I was small; coming to youth events at Lake Junaluska in the summer meeting other young people from across the southeast; leading workshops, preaching at Stuart Auditorium, teaching at the Terrace and at Lambuth, designing worship for commemorative milestones, leading youth weeks, starting the Good Word Resource Center, living at Junaluska, serving on the summer staff, raising my girls at Junaluska and seeing them lead youth programs on the summer staff; bringing confirmation classes each year to Junaluska. I fed the ducks at Lake Junaluska, my daughters fed the ducks here when they were just little ones and now my little grandsons love to go feed the ducks. In the many moves and transitions of the Methodist ministry, Lake Junaluska is a beautiful thread of continuity.
And here, in this special place this week, our Annual Conference will discuss leaving here for future Annual Conference sessions. Oh dear. In a world that is a whirlwind of change, continuity is so precious. Conference hasn't even started and already the report is making the front page of newspapers. Rumors are flying and, like every other kind of change, emotions are high. Including mine.
I was lamenting to a long-time friend what a highly-charged decision this is for me and for the conference. My friend also has many special memories at Junaluska but he lives in another state. He didn't sound very sympathetic when he said, "Well, that decision is a no-brainer!"
A no-brainer! What do you mean by that, I inquired.
"Well, you can't meet at a place that can't seat all your delegates. How hard is that?"
In terms of seating the delegates, there is no argument. Our conference has approximately 3500 delegates. And our tradition-laden Stuart Auditorium at Lake Junaluska seats 2000. There's no argument here from me about the importance of everyone having a chance to have a vote. And all year long, as a district superintendent, when people are unhappy with some decision about church life, I have to say, "That was an action of the Annual Conference. Your church had both clergy and lay representatives. Once the Annual Conference decides, we all abide by the decision." Annual Conference decisions are important. And they are binding. So of course, we ought to be meeting in a place where all delegates could be seated. In a larger setting, families could also be part of the worship experiences. My friend is right. It IS a no-brainer.
But decisions -- and especially changes in tradition--are more complex than the brain. Decisions are also a matter of heart. And we, as an Annual Conference, are in the place that many individuals and families and churches are: do we hang on to the beloved familiar even though it is no longer adequate to serve the needs of the present? Tradition is very important to me. But I believe that tradition is only a blessing as long as it is in service to our mission. When it becomes a god of its own, then the beauty of the tradition is betrayed. And whenever there is a crossroads, when the familiar trumps the mission, it's a tragedy.
Everything about my tradition at Lake Junaluska has pointed me to putting Christ's mission first and foremost.
But, still, this is a hard place to be. Lord, help us to be faithful.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Sinking into 60....
Mark and Mary Allen's new homeWe celebrated my new year in a new place. Oh, if the new year (my 60th) can be half as wonderful as the new place (Mark and Mary Allen's newly completed home at Lake Junaluska!)
Tyler (2 1/2) was the first early bird to remember that it was my birthday. "Happy Birthday, Grammy!" he said, very proud of himself. Not to be outdone, Connor shouted from the balconey, "You sure are a big number now, Grammy!"
Tyler, who was sitting on my lap, saw my reaction and comfortingly said, "You not a big number, Grammy." (Such a sweet boy!) I said, "Tyler, what is a big number?" Throwing his hands wide out from side to side, he said, "A hundred!!"
Well, I assured him, I am certainly not 100!
(100 is a big number for Connor, too. That's when we have agreed that he is going to be able to have a gun, smoke cigarettes and ride on motorcycles. Brilliant compromise.)
Sixty years is a long time to have lived and I have lived in the most remarkable of times. There are some people (actually, in the church there are MANY people) who think that the world of my childhood (the 1950's) was better than the world we are living in. I am not one of them. Although we are nowhere close to perfect, I thank God for the many ways that we have made significant progress. It has been thrilling to witness the ways that we have stepped forward in race relations. We haven't arrived yet at living up to our ideals of liberty and justice for all. But racism has been exposed for the evil that it is and we are closer to living our ideals than ever in our nation's history. I'm quite clear that the women's movement doesn't draw rave reviews from people where tradition is of utmost importance. Say what you will, I am very, very grateful that my daughters grew up in a different world than the gender restrictive world that I was raised in. The fact that I am alive to celebrate my 60th birthday is a credit to the advances of medical science -- exquisite delivery systems of God's healing that were not available to my grandparents.
Yes, I know there is a lot of moral degeneration and the transitions have left a lot of relational and emotional casualties. But there were emotional and relational casualties before the tumult of change. Not only were people victimized by limitations, humiliations, violations of dignity and, especially in the case of sexual abuse of children, violence -- but there was the double layer of demanded secrecy. No, I don't think family life was necessarily better. I'm thankful for the wonderful family I had. But my father was a preacher. People who worked with people knew there was a lot of pain in family life. People just didn't talk about it as much or have options for change. The staggering poverty rates of the 1950's tell me that those good old days that people yearn for weren't, in reality, all that good across the board. And, although many people bewail the decline of the institutional church, the worship and Bible study and prayer and mission involvement and discipleship I see in churches today is more vital today than any other time of my life. And, the even better news is that, in order for churches to survive without the props of the culture, we will have to continue to do our best. I've seen too much slack and slide to be sad about that challenge!
Given the staggering pace of change, what the world will be like when (if) I really get to my "big number" of 100 is beyond comprehension. But this I know: God will not be outpaced by the changes of life -- whether in birthdays or technology. Life anchored in him is a blessing -- whether than is my "small number" grandsons or their "big number Grammy". I welcome 60 and the years ahead as a chance to keep making the world a better place -- a world/church where faith in God shows up in grace that abounds, love that flourishes, truth that is honored and where justice, kindness and mercy is the common goal for all. We are a long way from that. But we have come a long way, too. And now, I have this gift of a new year to do all I can to live the high calling of Christ.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Thank God for a beautiful space
Did I wake up this morning and say, "I think I will go ahead and plant flowers in the back flower bed"? No, I did not.I woke up this morning and said, "Thank God for a day at home. Only Connor's tee ball game is going to get me away from the great luxury of a day at home."
When Mary Allen called to say that Connor's tee ball game had been rained out...and I thought about all the rain we have had the past week, that's when I realized it would be a perfect time to plant flowers.
Now it was not a perfect day in terms of convenience. This is the first day I have had home for weeks. May has been particularly demanding in terms of traveling with cabinet responsibilities and Monday, we begin another 3 day out-of-town meeting. So I have piles of mail to catch up on from being on the road for the last two weeks and little, but important things like laundry.
But all the rain has wonderfully softened the soil and I knew that planting today would be much, much easier than if I waited till a more convenient time (and, when I get real, when am I going to have a wonderfully accessible time?). Planting flowers today would take half the effort that it would in the later hot sun when the ground is hard.
That's the sweet thing about planting when the soil is moist: digging is delightful. There's not all that resistance that you get when the ground is hard. And as I planted,I prayed. I prayed for my churches where the soil is hard--where minds are made up and there is nothing in the world the preacher can do that is right. I prayed for God's love to shower down like the rain has watered the earth and loosen up the soil of hearts. I prayed for everyone who is so set in their ways that even trying to do something beautiful is hard. I know there are many families and relationships hurting because hearts are dry and hard and closed.
When the Holy Spirit came at Pentecost, the arrival of power came to obedient disciples. They had (for once) done exactly what Jesus told them to do. And obedience is one of the keys to loosening the soil of our hearts so that God can plant something beautiful in our lives. I was able to plant a place of beauty in my back yard today. How much more I hope God will have the right conditions to do something amazing in our churches this Pentecost weekend!
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