What If It Were Today?

My car is full of gas.
Since the doctor said the baby could come any time over two weeks ago, I have had the car packed with anything I would need for a several days' stay:
Medicine? Check.
Clothes? Check.
Toiletries? Check.
Favorite pillow? Check.
Camera with empty media card and charged battery? Check.
Gift bags to take to the hospital for the boys when the baby is born? Check.
Now, all I need is the phone call that my daughter is in labor and heading for the hospital. Check. Check. Check....

Living "ready" has been an interesting experience.
I never let the gas guage get below 3/4 tank.
I always have cash (in defiance of the young adult mentality that all you need to carry is your bank card...).
I make it a point to go on to bed at night and get plenty of sleep.
Being ready is more than being excited about the baby coming. Being ready takes thought and planning and care.

When I was a child growing up at revivals and camp meetings, there was a hymn: "Jesus is coming to earth again! What if it were today?" And, I guess other than the early Advent emphasis of the second coming of Christ, I haven't given a lot of thought to living ready. I believe I am ready. I have always dismissed the incessant infatuation with the Second Coming as speculation that is an unfortunate energy drain. Following Jesus closely is the best prescription I know for being ready.

In these days when I have been waiting for the arrival of my first grand daughter, I've thought more about living ready. In the onslaught of my work, there are times that my spiritual fuel get lower than 3/4 tank full. There are times that I am not careful to have the spiritual resources I need for whatever surprising circumstance is around the corner. I am not always careful to get the healing rest I need.

Waiting for our little Mia Rosalie to be born reminds me that maybe I haven't been living as ready for Jesus as I thought. I am completely ready for him in my heart. But maybe I should be more attentive to the practical applications of being ready. I need to continue to live ready long after Mia is born -- ready for the One who is even more important and precious than my granddaughter: Jesus, my Lord and Savior.

Barely holding back the tears...

My adorable 5 year old wonderful grandson starts kindergarten this week.
I can barely think about it without crying.
How did he get to be 5 in just the blink of an eye? Tyler (3) Connor (5)

He is the most amazing child.

I know, I have heard other grandparents gush over their grandchildren. But I am not exaggerating when I talk about my grandson. He is beautiful and affectionate and tender-hearted and lively and free-thinking and joyful about life.

He is also a tease. "Grammy," he said last week, "What is your favorite thing?" "My grandsons" I replied, immediately (thinking he was fishing for affirmation).

"What is your next favorite thing?" he asked. "Duke basketball", I replied.

Then he looked at me and solemnly announced, "Well, MY favorite thing is GOD."

Guess he showed me!

He fills me with love only grandparents could comprehend and, as you can see, keeps me on my toes. And now, he is going to KINDERGARTEN. It feels like the beginning of the end... He is ready and eager and I am holding back the tears.

For years, I have shared this essay with parents whose children are going to kindergarten...I re-did the "son" to "daughter" and sent it to the teachers when my daughters went to kindergarten--crying through every sentence. This year, it's for Connor:

Teach Him Gently...If You Can

My young son starts school tomorrow...it's all going to be strange and new for him for a while and I wish you would sort of treat him gently.

You see, up to now, he's been our little boy.

He's always been the boss of the backyard and his mother has always been around to repair his wounds and I have been there to soothe his feelings.

But now, things are going to be different...

This morning, he's going to walk down the steps, wave his hand and start out on the great adventure -- it's an adventure that will include heartache and tragedy and sorrow.

To live his life in the world he will live in

requires faith and love and courage.

So, world, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand

and teach him the things he will have to know.

Teach him -- but gently--if you can.

He will have to learn that everyone is not just and not every one is true.

But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero;

that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader

that for every enemy, there is a friend.

It will take time, I know, but teach him, if you can

that a nickel earned is more valuable than a dollar found

Teach him to learn to lose -- and to enjoy winning.

Steer him away from envy, if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter.

Let him learn early not to be afraid of bullies and those who would do him wrong.

Teach him the wonder of books but also give him quiet time

to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun

and flowers on the hillside.

In school, world, teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat...

Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if others laugh at his creativity.

Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough people.

Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd

when everyone else is getting on the bandwagon.

Teach him to listen to everyone -- but teach him also to filter all hearts

on the screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad...

Teach him that there is no shame in tears...

Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success.

Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beward of too much sweetness.

Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob and stand up and fight for what is right.

Teach him gently, world, but don't coddle him.

I know that only the test of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage to be impatient and the patience to be brave.

Teach him to have faith in himself and most of all, to have faith in the God

who will be with him wherever he goes.

adapted from unknown author

I thank God for this amazing little boy, my grandson. And pray that his adventure of life learning always guides him toward his best self.

May God bless and guide parents and teachers and everyone who serves as an example for our beloved little ones.

And help me not to cry too much as my little man heads to kindergarten.

The effect of hard times...

I'm still searching in the Bible for the life-truth that my daughters and I often quote from one of our favorite movies, Steel Magnolias: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." That's just too true to not be included in the Scripture.
I am certain that the effect of hard times is one of the most clarifying signs of Christian character. Going through a crisis can be just the experience that opens your heart to others in difficult circumstances. Going through a hard time can also be just the experience that makes you more insecure, afraid and cold to the suffering of others.
Though we rarely choose the tragedies that invade our lives, we always choose our response. We may not have chosen the economic downturn, the job loss, the cancer diagnosis, the broken marriage, the premature death of a loved one. But in every instance, we choose its affect on us.
I have seen both sides of this. Sometimes, the tragic death of a loved one turns people into the very best Stephen ministers, friends and compassionate church members. Hardship can make a heart more open to the suffering of others, more tender to the struggles and griefs that others carry.
Hardship can also create a hardened shell around a heart. Have you noticed that sometimes people who went through a hard time carry that struggle like a badge of honor and don't blink when others suffer? "I went through it; it won't hurt them." A classic example of that is the doctors who trained under "old school" regimens of inhumane numbers of hours on call as interns and residents--80, sometimes over 100 hours per week on call. Now, with new guidelines surfacing to limit the number of hours that interns and residents can be on call to a more reasonable 60 hours a week, sometimes it is old school physicians who raise the loudest objections. Seems to me they would be the most sympathetic and glad for something to change for the good of others (both doctors AND patients)
I see the same dynamic surfacing in conversations about salaries. "Well," one layperson said to me, "I didn't get a salary raise this year. So I don't think the preacher should get a raise either." As the conversation went on, it was clear that not getting a salary raise had really hurt the layperson. So wouldn't it make more Christian love sense for the layperson to say, "I know how much it hurts to not get a raise. I want something better for my preacher..." (or my daughter, or my neighbor). Is this a "misery loves company" response?
I came into the ministry during the very early days of female clergy. I don't date back to John Wesley, but I came in less than 20 years after the full ordination of women was approved (in 1956). I had a hard time. I qualified for elder's ordination under 4 different Disciplines. And that was just the beginning of the obstacles, the ridicule and the opposition that I went through. But, I put those hard experiences to work to make me an avid advocate of a better church for my daughters and their daughters. It would never occur to me to say, "Well, I had it hard, so it's just fine if they experience prejudice and opposition."
Hardship -- in whatever form--is painful. But hardship is downright tragic if it hardens instead of opens a heart.

The Jesus Test

I am very glad for people to send emails to me. Really, I am.
Over 700 people across my district have signed up for my emails, so I get the privilege of sending out emails to lots of people I wouldn't otherwise have a chance to communicate with. I feel it is only right to welcome emails that people send to me. The communication highway, at its best, runs both ways.
I got one this week that was full of beautiful -- actually, stunning--pictures of the life of Christ. They were so striking that I printed them out to put in my Bible.
When I was looking over the printout, I noticed there was a "tag" at the end of the pictures. The tag said that Jesus "is the only one that can save this country and they want Him removed from the government. Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our govenment as the atheists want." Then there was the closing request: "The Jesus Test: 'Jesus said, if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.' This is the simplest test. If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things He has done for you, send this email to a lot of people."
Oh dear.
I would gladly have passed on the beautiful scenes of the life of Christ. But it broke my heart that people could reverently review the scenes of the life of Christ and then think that the "Jesus Test" would be to send an email defying the atheists.
That would be understandable, I guess, except that the teachings of Jesus are so clear about what a true Jesus test is. Jesus was absolutely, penetratingly clear: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." (John 15:12) That is the Jesus test. That -- and nothing else. And how did Jesus love us:? Graceful acceptance, patient guidance, constant forgiveness, sacrificial loving.
The teaching of Jesus makes clear what the Jesus test is: love for others. Since Jesus was very explicit in teaching and example about loving his enemies, it would seem to me that the Jesus test would be how faithfully Christians love atheists. So, to my way of thinking, you could send a thousand emails and still fail the true Jesus test. Wouldn't the real Jesus test be to find an atheist and do something kind?
I still love the scenes of Christ that came with the email. So odd to me that people could look through them, recall the life of Christ and then get side-tracked about Christ's clear intention for his followers.
How many times do we look at pictures of Christ and, by forgetting Christ's teaching and example, miss the true picture?

One simple phrase = One huge difference

One simple phrase. That's all I ask. Just follow one simple phrase:

ASK before you ACCUSE

What a world of difference that alone would make!

I got an email this week from someone who was blasting the conference and the bishop and the church. The email didn't attack me by name. But trust me, I was included on the receiving end of the tirade. To read the concerns of this person, you couldn't help but draw the conclusion that people in leadership were insensitive, unbelievably stupid and careless in their decisions. Whoa.

I will be the first one to say there are concerns about the church. And I will be foremost among those who defend the right of people to speak freely. And more than that, I further believe in encouraging people to speak freely and have spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how to incorporate that principle into this new position of ministry.

But could people just ASK before they rattle off a litany of ACCUSATIONS?

If the writer had framed the attacks as questions, the author could have learned that the concerns of heart were shared concerns; that action had already been taken to make things better/different/right; that the people being attacked have a great concern for/heart for the struggles people have. But, instead of lifting up concerns as questions or inquiries, the concerns were attacks that led to all kinds of accusations and far-fetched assumptions.

I'm going to have to learn to receive these better. I can count to ten and not respond in kind. I have learned how to write, re-write, pray and re-write some more. I have learned to forgive and, as I have been recently surprised, I have learned that people sometimes apologize. Maybe politicians learn to disregard the constant barbs, but I am not the only pastor that finds that very difficult to do. Attacking words hurt. And even if an apology comes later, it hurts to pour energy,heart and soul into building up people and the church and then to be lambasted for all kinds of things that really don't apply.

Couldn't people learn to ASK before they ACCUSE? That one guideline would save everyone a lot of unnecessary negative emotion, heartache and hurt feelings.

Keep communicating. But everyone would be better off if people could learn to ASK before they ACCUSE.