Oh my! How will I ever adjust?

I used to say that it was a good thing to raise your children to be independent, resist-the-pressure-of-others, think-for-yourself kind of people. I'm changing my mind. To tell the truth, what I really meant was I wanted them to be self-starting, critical thinkers so they could resist the opinions of others. But that never meant resisting MY opinions.

And now, I'm going to have to live up to these ridiculous think-for-yourself principles. Something terrible in our family has happened. Those of you who have known me for a long time are going to laugh. But it is terrible. My four year old grandson -- my beloved, perfect, can-do-no-wrong (at least until now) little boy has decided that he is a Tarheel fan. Yes. It's true. Unbelievable.

How did such a terrible thing happen? Let me assure you, it's not because Connor's parents have failed him. They Duke grads and true blue Duke fans. And Connor was a Duke fan until he met Christi's boyfriend -- a light blue fan. And Connor realizes that saying he's a Tarheel fan gets quite a reaction from those of us who are leading him in the right path. So he doesn't waste any opportunity to say he is for the Tarheels.

I thought that I could talk him out of it. After all, he's my sweet, cooperative, adoring first-born grandson. He thinks Grammy is the best. But he is not going to change his mind about the Tarheels. I can't believe it. Like I say, this whole independent thinking approach needs to be revisited. As I have told NC congregations through the years, all good Methodists cheer for Duke. It's a connectional responsibility.

But, today, I decided to give up trying to win Connor back. I am going to let him be a Tarheel fan if he wants. (Can you believe I am saying that?) Today, he is the one who started picking at my loyalty. He saw a Tarheel banner at the restaurant where we were eating breakfast. He pointed to it and said, "Yeah, Tarheels!" And I said (in 4 year old terms), "Tarheels are yucky." And Connor started crying. I couldn't believe it.

So I quit.

The NC Tarheels are not worth crying about. They are certainly not worth making my little boy cry. Even if it means enduring abuse from him like I have from other Carolina fans, I am giving up trying to win him back. And, in some ways, I think it's a lesson that everyone needs to learn: this rivalry--no matter how intense-- is about a game. Just a game. It's not life-or-death...(remember, I am writing this just days before the big March 8 showdown...). But it is still just a game. And it is not worth crying about. And it's not worth hurting people's feelings about. And I'm going to stick to that even if that means that my beloved grandson is a Tarheel fan forever.

(I am, of course, hoping that it is a phase).