I love the traditional--especially at Christmas. Even with a very traditional background, ministry in this time in history has already made my life untraditional. In this rapidly changing culture, holding onto a few traditional things gives special joy. I cherish the Christmas traditions and music is at the top of the list of precious things.
So it never occurred to me that a favorite of centuries could be improved on.
My four year old grandson showed me differently.
Mark and Mary Allen were having a discussion about the boys' favorite Christmas songs. "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" was #1 on the list. Prodding them to think of a church Christmas song, Connor offered, "Mark the Herald Angel Sings". :) Then Tyler, apparently the theologian, gave this brilliant improvement for a carol I have loved for decades: "O Come and Be Faithful".
"O come and be faithful". Now, there's an idea.
Tyler has changed the old favorite for me forever. I'll never sing it again without thinking about his words. May we come and BE faithful...joyful and triumphant.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
On the court or in the church...
I grew up loving college basketball. And, as I am going through withdrawal of my thyroid medication and on the very restrictive low-iodine diet in preparation for next week’s routine follow-up scans at Duke, it is a special gift to me that basketball season is underway. With my fatigue, I don’t yell at the players, coaches or referees nearly as much as I normally do, but, through the years, I have learned that doesn’t make much difference anyhow. :) Doesn’t stop me, but my good advice doesn’t seem to change their behavior.
Staying home during this depleted time has reminded me that there is very little good to watch on TV. So this past Saturday, I was thrilled that there was a full line-up of basketball games. My family in Kentucky is, as you can imagine, all rabid UK fans. But my sister and both brothers were born in Cincinnati. So I was watching the Cincinnati-Xavier game too and was shocked and horrified at the end-of-game brawl. As I have said to you many times about United Methodism – we emphasize the importance of passion AND discipline. You’ve got to have both. To be a good ball player – or a good witness for Christ, you’ve got to have passion…but passion without discipline turns out to be disaster. Discipline need not be a god unto itself (then it is a tyrant) but the absence of discipline in crucial moments is a tragedy. And that’s what happened Saturday.
My heart broke for embarrassed Cincinnati Bearcat Coach Mick Cronin who struggled to find words for the anger and disappointment he felt. In a news conference, he said he made all the Bearcat players take their jerseys off in the locker room and that they would have to earn their way back to playing privileges. Playing is a privilege, he said, especially playing on scholarship. Players on the court represent more than themselves. They represent the university. And they need to understand that first and foremost.
And I understand that intense, gut-wrenching feeling so well because part of the work of a DS is being called on the congregation court for the same kind of unfortunate flare-up. Once people start swinging, they swing at everyone in sight. I don’t think it would be much consolation to Coach Cronin for me to write him the good news that none of his players took at swing at him ---but in my church world, when people are mad and out of control, they take swings at each other and the preacher and the DS. The bishop, too. Sad thing is, I am not dealing with teenagers and young adults. Usually, I am facing the out-of-control swinging of adults who have attended church for decades and ought, by teaching and maturity, to know they are out of line. Hard to describe the disappointment.
This is the thing: no one should have to tell an athlete that every athlete on the court is bound by the rules of the sport. No one should have to say that athletes should not be throwing punches at anyone else on the court. No one should have to say that everyone is expected to play by the rules.
If I have one theme of my superintendency for situations of conflict – this is it: no matter what has happened, Christians are expected to live and act like Christians. We have a common covenant. We expect everyone to live up to it. Jesus himself laid down that basic covenant: “Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12 among many places). It is not ok to come out swinging – on the court or in the congregation. In the Garden of Gethsemane, in one of the most intense, pressure-filled, emotional scenes of all Jesus’ life, Peter came out swinging. (John 18:10). And Jesus, who might have been a little more sympathetic to the immense sadness and trauma of the moment, turned back to Peter with some of the strongest words of admonition anywhere in the New Testament: “NO MORE OF THIS!”
The heat of the moment does not give us permission to lash out – not against our friends, not even against our enemies. Every sports player is bound to the common rules of the game and it is unacceptable for emotions to get out of control in ways that hurt others. Every CHRISTIAN is bound to the common covenant of the life, teaching and example of Jesus Christ. And no amount of emotion or pressure or disappointment gives a Christian license to depart from speaking and living the Christian way.
By the way, trash-talking apparently figured into the brawl on Saturday…and, while trash-talking is not prohibited by the rules of basketball (like throwing a punch in another players face), on the Christian court, trash-talking, gossip and slander all violate our common covenant.
I love basketball. Saturday’s incident leaves me with a sick feeling…a feeling I know all too well from church meetings that are outside the covenant. The coaches are telling their players that if they want to play again, they are going to have to understand that they represent the high standards of the university and be willing to put that first. I can’t kick Christians off the team. But I want to say the same thing. What you say and what you do represents Jesus. Don’t let anything distract you from that all-important reality. Make your mark for good. God’s message through the angels was God’s clear intention for our life together: “And on earth peace, good will to all.” No matter what anybody else does, don’t let anyone throw you off the focus God requires.
Our world is out of control. The media is full of people taking swings at each other. Family life and work life and community life (and church life) is often modeling the contentiousness of the culture. Being a Christian entitles us only to act like Christians—under all circumstances. What a witness we have a chance to make! May the peace of Christ come to us – and to others through us—this Advent.
Staying home during this depleted time has reminded me that there is very little good to watch on TV. So this past Saturday, I was thrilled that there was a full line-up of basketball games. My family in Kentucky is, as you can imagine, all rabid UK fans. But my sister and both brothers were born in Cincinnati. So I was watching the Cincinnati-Xavier game too and was shocked and horrified at the end-of-game brawl. As I have said to you many times about United Methodism – we emphasize the importance of passion AND discipline. You’ve got to have both. To be a good ball player – or a good witness for Christ, you’ve got to have passion…but passion without discipline turns out to be disaster. Discipline need not be a god unto itself (then it is a tyrant) but the absence of discipline in crucial moments is a tragedy. And that’s what happened Saturday.
My heart broke for embarrassed Cincinnati Bearcat Coach Mick Cronin who struggled to find words for the anger and disappointment he felt. In a news conference, he said he made all the Bearcat players take their jerseys off in the locker room and that they would have to earn their way back to playing privileges. Playing is a privilege, he said, especially playing on scholarship. Players on the court represent more than themselves. They represent the university. And they need to understand that first and foremost.
And I understand that intense, gut-wrenching feeling so well because part of the work of a DS is being called on the congregation court for the same kind of unfortunate flare-up. Once people start swinging, they swing at everyone in sight. I don’t think it would be much consolation to Coach Cronin for me to write him the good news that none of his players took at swing at him ---but in my church world, when people are mad and out of control, they take swings at each other and the preacher and the DS. The bishop, too. Sad thing is, I am not dealing with teenagers and young adults. Usually, I am facing the out-of-control swinging of adults who have attended church for decades and ought, by teaching and maturity, to know they are out of line. Hard to describe the disappointment.
This is the thing: no one should have to tell an athlete that every athlete on the court is bound by the rules of the sport. No one should have to say that athletes should not be throwing punches at anyone else on the court. No one should have to say that everyone is expected to play by the rules.
If I have one theme of my superintendency for situations of conflict – this is it: no matter what has happened, Christians are expected to live and act like Christians. We have a common covenant. We expect everyone to live up to it. Jesus himself laid down that basic covenant: “Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12 among many places). It is not ok to come out swinging – on the court or in the congregation. In the Garden of Gethsemane, in one of the most intense, pressure-filled, emotional scenes of all Jesus’ life, Peter came out swinging. (John 18:10). And Jesus, who might have been a little more sympathetic to the immense sadness and trauma of the moment, turned back to Peter with some of the strongest words of admonition anywhere in the New Testament: “NO MORE OF THIS!”
The heat of the moment does not give us permission to lash out – not against our friends, not even against our enemies. Every sports player is bound to the common rules of the game and it is unacceptable for emotions to get out of control in ways that hurt others. Every CHRISTIAN is bound to the common covenant of the life, teaching and example of Jesus Christ. And no amount of emotion or pressure or disappointment gives a Christian license to depart from speaking and living the Christian way.
By the way, trash-talking apparently figured into the brawl on Saturday…and, while trash-talking is not prohibited by the rules of basketball (like throwing a punch in another players face), on the Christian court, trash-talking, gossip and slander all violate our common covenant.
I love basketball. Saturday’s incident leaves me with a sick feeling…a feeling I know all too well from church meetings that are outside the covenant. The coaches are telling their players that if they want to play again, they are going to have to understand that they represent the high standards of the university and be willing to put that first. I can’t kick Christians off the team. But I want to say the same thing. What you say and what you do represents Jesus. Don’t let anything distract you from that all-important reality. Make your mark for good. God’s message through the angels was God’s clear intention for our life together: “And on earth peace, good will to all.” No matter what anybody else does, don’t let anyone throw you off the focus God requires.
Our world is out of control. The media is full of people taking swings at each other. Family life and work life and community life (and church life) is often modeling the contentiousness of the culture. Being a Christian entitles us only to act like Christians—under all circumstances. What a witness we have a chance to make! May the peace of Christ come to us – and to others through us—this Advent.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Need to learn the language of the younger generation....
Ok, this is the time for children to dream about what they are wanting for Christmas.
My Connor (6)---my very smart Connor--says he wants a DS.
Imagine my surprise!
In our line of work, DS is sometimes laughingly referred to as Director of Sanitation because of all the messes we get called to....but I have never known DS to mean anything other than this connectional work of District Superintendency.
So, when Connor said he wanted a DS, I said, "Oh, honey, you already HAVE one!"
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, I'm a DS, I said proudly.
"No, Grammy. DS is a game."
"No, Grammy. DS is a game."
"A game? What do you mean?"
Connor--tired of my not understanding him and leaving the room-- "I guess Mom and Dad will have to explain it to you."
Connor--tired of my not understanding him and leaving the room-- "I guess Mom and Dad will have to explain it to you."
I guess they will.
What I am doing certainly does not feel like a game.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
A difficult choice...
In 26 years of ordering the worship life of a church, I don't remember one time that people came up to me and said, "I am really looking forward to our Christ the King worship!" There were many years that people commented on how much they love Thanksgiving and how much they look forward to Thanksgiving. In recent years, people have lamented how Thanksgiving gets completely squeezed out in the rush to shop (which has never been more evident that this year...)
When the calendar falls like it does this year -- with the first Sunday of Advent just 3 days after Thanksgiving, pastors face a dilemma when planning the focus of the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Liturgically, it is Christ the King Sunday. Traditionally, it is Thanksgiving. The two Sundays are not opposites -- one good and one bad. But they are not the same in focus.
I believe one of the greatest gifts of the church is the church year. Because of our observance of the CHRISTIAN year - which is centered around CHRIST-we have a chance every year to walk through the life of Christ and the Scriptures. The Christian year keeps us grounded in Christ. Because of the observance of the Christian year, I hope that people are already anticipating that our Christian Happy New Year begins this coming Sunday - not with the partying and resolutions of the calendar year/January 1 new year -but with the joyful reminder that Jesus is coming again to claim this world in victory. What a great way to begin a year!
And the great addition to the thrilling, reassuring beginning of the Christian year is the triumphant, praise-filled close of the Christian year: Christ the King Sunday. After months and months and months of "Ordinary Time" - the longest of all the seasons of the church year-Ordinary Time comes to a dramatic close with a glorious celebration called Christ the King Sunday. Of course, some churches didn't observe it...because this year-as many years-because of the way the calendar falls, ministers have to choose between a worship emphasis on Thanksgiving (which people are often expecting) and Christ the King (which people are rarely anticipating). I hate it when the calendar forces a choice. As with life's hardest choices, this is a choice between two good things. How important it is to lift up the thankful heart! But, if I have to rank one over the other, I would have to say that lifting up Jesus as King of Kings and Lord of Lords is more than anything.
So I say hooray for all pastors who shaped last Sunday as a Christ the King service in our churches. I am guessing they didn't get much other thanks. They run the risk of grumbling from the congregation about why there wasn't a thanksgiving emphasis. These last few days of ordinary time are the right time to remember Christ the King -- in worship and each day.
We spend most of the time in our lives, just like in the Christian year, in ordinary time. And day after day, week after week, ordinary time in our family life, on the job, in friendships we value and in the church doesn't seem like it is sensational or dramatic. (If, of course, you have teenagers in your home, that's an exception. There's plenty of daily drama during some seasons of life. J) But, for the most part, we spend our life in ordinary time - learning, living the Gospel, practicing love in small, daily ways. Christ the King - the end of ordinary time-defines what gives substance and hope to all our ordinary time. Christ the King says that all our ordinary times are shaped around the safe, secure and ultimate ground of our hope: the victorious Jesus-Lord of life. So you can see why I hope Christ the King doesn't slide away into enhanced gratitude. Christ the King is like the triumphal spike of the winning touchdown for the game of games ---and the jubilant coach on the sideline who is wanting to say to his players: "Now, see, THIS is why we have practiced so hard every day....." There's a victory coming. And, for those of us who are in Christ, it is a certain victory.
So, no matter what Sunday's worship included, in these last days of Ordinary Time (which last until Saturday night at midnight), I hope Christians will cherish our great hope in Christ-King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Name above ALL Names. My prayer is that the daily routine of life does not dull us to the great adventure of living in love with a magnificent Savior. I long for the glorious victory of Christ to burn bright in our hearts. " Lift up your hearts!" is more than an introduction to the communion prayer of Great Thanksgiving. Life has a lot of ordinary time - but it is all in light of the great victory of Christ. Now, THAT's the foundation for a rich and powerful Thanksgiving!
When the calendar falls like it does this year -- with the first Sunday of Advent just 3 days after Thanksgiving, pastors face a dilemma when planning the focus of the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Liturgically, it is Christ the King Sunday. Traditionally, it is Thanksgiving. The two Sundays are not opposites -- one good and one bad. But they are not the same in focus.
I believe one of the greatest gifts of the church is the church year. Because of our observance of the CHRISTIAN year - which is centered around CHRIST-we have a chance every year to walk through the life of Christ and the Scriptures. The Christian year keeps us grounded in Christ. Because of the observance of the Christian year, I hope that people are already anticipating that our Christian Happy New Year begins this coming Sunday - not with the partying and resolutions of the calendar year/January 1 new year -but with the joyful reminder that Jesus is coming again to claim this world in victory. What a great way to begin a year!
And the great addition to the thrilling, reassuring beginning of the Christian year is the triumphant, praise-filled close of the Christian year: Christ the King Sunday. After months and months and months of "Ordinary Time" - the longest of all the seasons of the church year-Ordinary Time comes to a dramatic close with a glorious celebration called Christ the King Sunday. Of course, some churches didn't observe it...because this year-as many years-because of the way the calendar falls, ministers have to choose between a worship emphasis on Thanksgiving (which people are often expecting) and Christ the King (which people are rarely anticipating). I hate it when the calendar forces a choice. As with life's hardest choices, this is a choice between two good things. How important it is to lift up the thankful heart! But, if I have to rank one over the other, I would have to say that lifting up Jesus as King of Kings and Lord of Lords is more than anything.
So I say hooray for all pastors who shaped last Sunday as a Christ the King service in our churches. I am guessing they didn't get much other thanks. They run the risk of grumbling from the congregation about why there wasn't a thanksgiving emphasis. These last few days of ordinary time are the right time to remember Christ the King -- in worship and each day.
We spend most of the time in our lives, just like in the Christian year, in ordinary time. And day after day, week after week, ordinary time in our family life, on the job, in friendships we value and in the church doesn't seem like it is sensational or dramatic. (If, of course, you have teenagers in your home, that's an exception. There's plenty of daily drama during some seasons of life. J) But, for the most part, we spend our life in ordinary time - learning, living the Gospel, practicing love in small, daily ways. Christ the King - the end of ordinary time-defines what gives substance and hope to all our ordinary time. Christ the King says that all our ordinary times are shaped around the safe, secure and ultimate ground of our hope: the victorious Jesus-Lord of life. So you can see why I hope Christ the King doesn't slide away into enhanced gratitude. Christ the King is like the triumphal spike of the winning touchdown for the game of games ---and the jubilant coach on the sideline who is wanting to say to his players: "Now, see, THIS is why we have practiced so hard every day....." There's a victory coming. And, for those of us who are in Christ, it is a certain victory.
So, no matter what Sunday's worship included, in these last days of Ordinary Time (which last until Saturday night at midnight), I hope Christians will cherish our great hope in Christ-King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Name above ALL Names. My prayer is that the daily routine of life does not dull us to the great adventure of living in love with a magnificent Savior. I long for the glorious victory of Christ to burn bright in our hearts. " Lift up your hearts!" is more than an introduction to the communion prayer of Great Thanksgiving. Life has a lot of ordinary time - but it is all in light of the great victory of Christ. Now, THAT's the foundation for a rich and powerful Thanksgiving!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Why we do what we do....
As much as possible, I have tried to cut down on the paperwork that is involved in organizing churches. I remember how much paperwork is involved in being a pastor and I do my best to minimize that for the clergy I serve. But, after learning that many of my churches were not up-to date on their Safe Sanctuary practices, I added a form. I required an annual Safe Sanctuary form from every church every year.
The horrifying and heartbreaking headlines from Penn State this week is the answer to the question that I heard from plenty of lay persons: “Why do we have to do this?” We all know that sexual abuse of children is not confined to one university hundreds of miles from North Carolina. We have grieved over the stories of sexual abuse of children in Roman Catholic churches. And we recognize that a common thread in too many of the stories of the sexual abuse of children has to do with adults who cover up the abuse—which then leads to more children being abused.
I will do everything in my power to be clear: every United Methodist Church is expected to have and abide by Safe Sanctuary practices. Yes, there are going to be ways that it is inconvenient to have two adults at all times with children. Yes, some churches have had to modify their doors to provide for windows. Yes, some churches resist doing background checks with people who work with their children. Yes, it involves extra thought and preparation and supervision. Yes, it is a nuisance to have annual training for people who work with children and youth. Yes, people complain. But the protection of children in United Methodist facilities is a baseline that we are not going to alter. Complain if you want to. But everyone must comply.
Safe Sanctuary is our organized (METHODist) way of taking a proactive stand in a world awash with sexual deviance. Safe Sanctuary is our way of saying that we are going to put a priority on our children and young people. And if that means an inconvenience to adults, so be it. That's a small sacrifice compared to the horror of a child being harmed in our care. The safety of our children is worth it. If there is a sexual predator among us, we will have done everything we can to find that out before a child in our care is molested. Safe Sanctuary practices mean that we will not allow the setting where someone could take advantage of a child. We recognize the special place that children have in God’s heart and we are going to go all out to be sure that the children in our care are safe. We should take the clear teaching of Jesus to heart— re-visit Matthew 18: 1-9. . When United Methodist pastors are ordained, they are asked a series of historic questions from John Wesley (found in the Discipline, paragraph 336). Of all the things that are involved in church ministry, the one age group that is singled out is children: “Will you diligently instruct the children in every place?”. That doesn’t mean we don’t care about young adults, older adults, middle adults. The focus on children is a reflection of the clear priority and responsibility Jesus taught.
Every United Methodist pastor under appointment has been required to attend a day-long sexual ethics training. No exceptions. That’s how important it is to us to be sure that we are not caught unawares about the issues of sexual impropriety, the consequences of failure to supervise and the importance that we not be naïve about this. Sexual predators are often people who have won the trust of others. You can’t discern a sexual predator by looks or title or job. That’s why Safe Sanctuary is so important. Safe Sanctuary practices make sure that no one would ever have the opportunity to take advantage of a young person in our care. That’s the ultimate--and only true-- protection for our children.
My churches have turned their Safe Sanctuaries forms in. I want more: I pray that all churches will carry out Safe Sanctuary practices with a sense of purpose and joy. And when we read news stories about the terrible things that happen elsewhere, we can take watchful joy in knowing that, in the United Methodist Church, Safe Sanctuary practices keep our children safe. That’s a witness we dare not neglect.
The horrifying and heartbreaking headlines from Penn State this week is the answer to the question that I heard from plenty of lay persons: “Why do we have to do this?” We all know that sexual abuse of children is not confined to one university hundreds of miles from North Carolina. We have grieved over the stories of sexual abuse of children in Roman Catholic churches. And we recognize that a common thread in too many of the stories of the sexual abuse of children has to do with adults who cover up the abuse—which then leads to more children being abused.
I will do everything in my power to be clear: every United Methodist Church is expected to have and abide by Safe Sanctuary practices. Yes, there are going to be ways that it is inconvenient to have two adults at all times with children. Yes, some churches have had to modify their doors to provide for windows. Yes, some churches resist doing background checks with people who work with their children. Yes, it involves extra thought and preparation and supervision. Yes, it is a nuisance to have annual training for people who work with children and youth. Yes, people complain. But the protection of children in United Methodist facilities is a baseline that we are not going to alter. Complain if you want to. But everyone must comply.
Safe Sanctuary is our organized (METHODist) way of taking a proactive stand in a world awash with sexual deviance. Safe Sanctuary is our way of saying that we are going to put a priority on our children and young people. And if that means an inconvenience to adults, so be it. That's a small sacrifice compared to the horror of a child being harmed in our care. The safety of our children is worth it. If there is a sexual predator among us, we will have done everything we can to find that out before a child in our care is molested. Safe Sanctuary practices mean that we will not allow the setting where someone could take advantage of a child. We recognize the special place that children have in God’s heart and we are going to go all out to be sure that the children in our care are safe. We should take the clear teaching of Jesus to heart— re-visit Matthew 18: 1-9. . When United Methodist pastors are ordained, they are asked a series of historic questions from John Wesley (found in the Discipline, paragraph 336). Of all the things that are involved in church ministry, the one age group that is singled out is children: “Will you diligently instruct the children in every place?”. That doesn’t mean we don’t care about young adults, older adults, middle adults. The focus on children is a reflection of the clear priority and responsibility Jesus taught.
Every United Methodist pastor under appointment has been required to attend a day-long sexual ethics training. No exceptions. That’s how important it is to us to be sure that we are not caught unawares about the issues of sexual impropriety, the consequences of failure to supervise and the importance that we not be naïve about this. Sexual predators are often people who have won the trust of others. You can’t discern a sexual predator by looks or title or job. That’s why Safe Sanctuary is so important. Safe Sanctuary practices make sure that no one would ever have the opportunity to take advantage of a young person in our care. That’s the ultimate--and only true-- protection for our children.
My churches have turned their Safe Sanctuaries forms in. I want more: I pray that all churches will carry out Safe Sanctuary practices with a sense of purpose and joy. And when we read news stories about the terrible things that happen elsewhere, we can take watchful joy in knowing that, in the United Methodist Church, Safe Sanctuary practices keep our children safe. That’s a witness we dare not neglect.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Essential life lesson, my little one
I do have the cutest grandchildren...if I do say so myself. :) And we have the BEST time together. I wouldn't trade anything for the time we share.
Yesterday, we were heading for a tradition of lunch together at McDonalds. My daughter is the best mother these children could have and she had put Chap-stick on Connor's badly chapped lips before we headed outside. His lips are tender and, he felt he was grievously injured by her ministrations. "She hurt me," he appealed to me. "It really hurt."
I know better than to try to get into the middle of a situation like that. Yes, I love my boys and will defend them vigorously.
And yes, his chapped lips may have hurt...but, bless his heart, his mommy hadn't hurt him. When we got to the bottom of the outside steps, he was still crying. So I stopped us and said, "Ok, we have to make a decision. Are you able to stop crying and get over this? I don't take crying children out to eat." "But," he said so earnestly, "she hurt me." Beloved child, you are breaking my heart! "That may be," I replied, "but, Connor, even if something hurts you, it is important to learn to get over it and move on. Do you want to go to McDonalds?" He did. He stopped crying, we got in the car and had a wonderful time together.
As I thought about it, I realized how important this life lesson is: learn to get over it. The teaching of Jesus is full of guidance about forgiving and moving on. And the Epistles to the early church are slammed full of admonitions to be kind, be loving, be forgiving, move forward, don't carry grudges, treat each other with gentleness. Life is just too precious for us to be bogged down with the hurts that have happened to us.
I know what it means to be hurt by others. I could go back through the last 30 years of ministry and have volumes to write about the way people have disappointed me, hurt me and unfairly treated me. I know what it is like to be let down in deep ways. If I held on to all that hurt, I would be a miserable, bitter person. Not letting go of hurt doubly hurts and cripples the person who has a grievance....except that not letting go is a decision that we make -- not something that is done to us by someone else.
This superintendency ministry involves hearing a lot about people's hurt feelings. I get so many complaints about people who have been hurt from something the pastor said, something the pastor did, something the pastor didn't do. Many of these complaints are YEARS old. And, while I care deeply about guiding pastors, catching mistakes and developing the most effective ministries possible, I also want to say to followers of Christ: Haven't you walked with God's word long enough to apply Christian love and move on? Do you have to lash out in attacks, spread your hurt feelings to anyone who will listen and stir up discord in your congregation? There's a mission to be done for Christ. Whatever happened, can't you love the church more than your hurt feelings, let God heal your hurt and show by your forgiveness and love that you are walking close to Jesus? Isn't the witness for your church more important than whatever has disappointed you? How can you move forward and help the church move forward?
I am so glad Connor decided to stop crying and go with me for a fun time together. How I hope that, as he grows, he will continue to be able to make that kind of good decision when he is hurt: get over it and move on. And how I pray that church people could learn to apply the gospel, get over their hurts in forgiveness and kindness and move forward in Christian love. Harboring hurts can't help anyone. There is a better way. My little grandson figured that out yesterday. A good time was more important -- and God has a great future for all who will move toward it.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Oh, Halloween should be such a celebration!
Yes, I’ll be wearing my witch’s hat today!
Halloween is often the favorite holiday – ranking right up there with Christmas. With Christmas, however, there is common knowledge about the religious origins of the holiday. For too many, Halloween is just a dress-up-get-candy celebration.
So I am inviting us all to remember and reclaim the religious gift of Halloween. Halloween is the day before November 1, All Saints Day. And centuries before there were terrorists or suicide bombers or an economic downturn, Halloween was an acknowledgment that if the ghosts and goblins were going to be able to scare people, they had better turn loose in full force before the influence of the saints was lifted up. Because the powers of darkness knew that once the saints were remembered, the forces of darkness would be rendered powerless. The ghosts, gremlins and goblins would have to scare people while they had the opportunity: All Hallow’s Eve (All Saints Eve) was their best shot.
Isn’t it interesting that even the powers of darkness recognize the supreme superior power of God and God’s goodness when the people who follow God so often forget? In the Gospels, the demons knew that Jesus was the Son of God when the disciples weren’t so sure. (Mark’s gospel testifies to this dynamic repeatedly.)
From what I hear, I’d say that those who follow God are very much impressed by the powers of darkness. People are deeply fearful (apparently, we trusted in our prosperity more than we realized); anxious (apparently, we haven’t trusted God as much as we thought) and discouraged (apparently, we have seen the storm more than the Savior). No one has to explain to me the reasons for despair. The ministry of superintendency brings me face to face with harsh, discouraging realities daily. I understand completely the temptation for negativity to creep into shaping my attitudes and encounters. Our culture is drowning in negativity, fear and anxiety.
That’s why Halloween – All Hallow’s Eve—can be such a transformational day for us. And no, I don’t mean a costume. Halloween is the day when Christians laugh in confidence in the face of fear and evil. Halloween is the day when Christians affirm that the ghosts and goblins and gremlins had better fly around and do their worst because once All Saints Day dawns tomorrow – once we put our minds on the goodness and faith and encouragement and light we have received from the saints—the forces of evil have no power over us. Halloween is the day for us to say to the forces of evil: Give it your best shot. You will still fall short once the power of God is lifted up in the lives of godly people. Halloween is the day when we LIVE the words Martin Luther penned in his majestic hymn, “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God”:
“And tho’ this world with devils filled should threaten to undo us, We will not fear for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us. The Prince of Darkness grim: we tremble not for him His rage we can endure. For lo! His doom is sure. One little word shall fell him!”
This fearful, negative world of ours needs us to give witness to the true meaning – the original meaning of Halloween: Christians need not be afraid of anything. We have an unshakable confidence—characterized, because it is a gift of God, by humility and peace. God has won a cosmic victory over evil in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and this victorious God dwells in us. We should gladly affirm today that God’s goodness is the ground of creation and that we are creatures made in the image of God.
I have just finished reading Bishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter, Mpho Tutu’s book: Made for Goodness and Why This Makes a Difference. I encourage you to read this deeply spiritual testimony. As you know, they have personally faced some of the world’s deepest powers of darkness in the brutal racism of South Africa. In this life-giving testimony, they write: “God does dwell in us. This is the essential truth of who we are. We are creatures made in the image of God. At the core of our being is goodness. That is not to deny the reality of sin. Sin is real. Depravity and cruelty are real. Evil exists. But sin, cruelty and evil are not our essential nature. They are aberrations. What is normative is goodness. Wrongness runs against the grain of creation. Evil is so contrary to our nature that we must construct justifications to allow ourselves to do what we know to be wrong and cruel…Cruelty and spite are not the essential qualities of human beings. They are departures from the human norm.”
Oh, that this Halloween could be the day when we face fears, anxieties, and the evil in this world with the light and victory of Christ who lives in us. What cause for celebration when we fix our mind firmly on the goodness of God and God’s triumph over every evil. To personalize the celebration, on Halloween, let us draw up a list of saints of our lives—those who have shown us God’s love and encouraged the best in us. We are not denying the harsh realities of life or the evil of this world – just celebrating the victory of God and putting evil in its rightful, secondary place. Restoring God’s goodness to its rightful center of our hearts can make all the difference. Happy Halloween, indeed!
Halloween is often the favorite holiday – ranking right up there with Christmas. With Christmas, however, there is common knowledge about the religious origins of the holiday. For too many, Halloween is just a dress-up-get-candy celebration.
So I am inviting us all to remember and reclaim the religious gift of Halloween. Halloween is the day before November 1, All Saints Day. And centuries before there were terrorists or suicide bombers or an economic downturn, Halloween was an acknowledgment that if the ghosts and goblins were going to be able to scare people, they had better turn loose in full force before the influence of the saints was lifted up. Because the powers of darkness knew that once the saints were remembered, the forces of darkness would be rendered powerless. The ghosts, gremlins and goblins would have to scare people while they had the opportunity: All Hallow’s Eve (All Saints Eve) was their best shot.
Isn’t it interesting that even the powers of darkness recognize the supreme superior power of God and God’s goodness when the people who follow God so often forget? In the Gospels, the demons knew that Jesus was the Son of God when the disciples weren’t so sure. (Mark’s gospel testifies to this dynamic repeatedly.)
From what I hear, I’d say that those who follow God are very much impressed by the powers of darkness. People are deeply fearful (apparently, we trusted in our prosperity more than we realized); anxious (apparently, we haven’t trusted God as much as we thought) and discouraged (apparently, we have seen the storm more than the Savior). No one has to explain to me the reasons for despair. The ministry of superintendency brings me face to face with harsh, discouraging realities daily. I understand completely the temptation for negativity to creep into shaping my attitudes and encounters. Our culture is drowning in negativity, fear and anxiety.
That’s why Halloween – All Hallow’s Eve—can be such a transformational day for us. And no, I don’t mean a costume. Halloween is the day when Christians laugh in confidence in the face of fear and evil. Halloween is the day when Christians affirm that the ghosts and goblins and gremlins had better fly around and do their worst because once All Saints Day dawns tomorrow – once we put our minds on the goodness and faith and encouragement and light we have received from the saints—the forces of evil have no power over us. Halloween is the day for us to say to the forces of evil: Give it your best shot. You will still fall short once the power of God is lifted up in the lives of godly people. Halloween is the day when we LIVE the words Martin Luther penned in his majestic hymn, “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God”:
“And tho’ this world with devils filled should threaten to undo us, We will not fear for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us. The Prince of Darkness grim: we tremble not for him His rage we can endure. For lo! His doom is sure. One little word shall fell him!”
This fearful, negative world of ours needs us to give witness to the true meaning – the original meaning of Halloween: Christians need not be afraid of anything. We have an unshakable confidence—characterized, because it is a gift of God, by humility and peace. God has won a cosmic victory over evil in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and this victorious God dwells in us. We should gladly affirm today that God’s goodness is the ground of creation and that we are creatures made in the image of God.
I have just finished reading Bishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter, Mpho Tutu’s book: Made for Goodness and Why This Makes a Difference. I encourage you to read this deeply spiritual testimony. As you know, they have personally faced some of the world’s deepest powers of darkness in the brutal racism of South Africa. In this life-giving testimony, they write: “God does dwell in us. This is the essential truth of who we are. We are creatures made in the image of God. At the core of our being is goodness. That is not to deny the reality of sin. Sin is real. Depravity and cruelty are real. Evil exists. But sin, cruelty and evil are not our essential nature. They are aberrations. What is normative is goodness. Wrongness runs against the grain of creation. Evil is so contrary to our nature that we must construct justifications to allow ourselves to do what we know to be wrong and cruel…Cruelty and spite are not the essential qualities of human beings. They are departures from the human norm.”
Oh, that this Halloween could be the day when we face fears, anxieties, and the evil in this world with the light and victory of Christ who lives in us. What cause for celebration when we fix our mind firmly on the goodness of God and God’s triumph over every evil. To personalize the celebration, on Halloween, let us draw up a list of saints of our lives—those who have shown us God’s love and encouraged the best in us. We are not denying the harsh realities of life or the evil of this world – just celebrating the victory of God and putting evil in its rightful, secondary place. Restoring God’s goodness to its rightful center of our hearts can make all the difference. Happy Halloween, indeed!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Finally! The answer to a nagging question
Finally, I have figured it out!
I have never learned how to reconcile the difference between the very plain teaching of the Bible and the opposite behavior I see too often in church people. When church people are angry, their actions often don’t resemble the Golden Rule, the Great Commandment, the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord’s Prayer, admonitions to work for unity in the Body of Christ or anything else in the Bible. Forgiveness? Forget it. Kindness? You’ve got to be kidding. Mutual love? Not on your life. Telling the truth? Oh, please! Loving friends is formidable…loving enemies? Impossible. Don’t even mention it. When people get their feelings hurt, I have had the idea that the life, teaching and example of Jesus goes out the window.
For the longest time, this has upset me.
Now, I believe I have figured it out.
There is another ancient manuscript that people give allegiance to. That has to be the answer. It’s the only explanation I can think of. I have not seen the written manuscript, but I have seen the lives of those shaped by it vividly enough to reconstruct it. Like the book of James or I John, this is a powerful, but not a long text. From what I see, this is how the sacred text reads:
Chapter 1:
There is nothing more important than your opinion. When someone disagrees with your opinion, you should mow them down no matter who gets hurt in the crossfire. You need to be heard. When your feelings are hurt, that’s an injustice that demands attention. Do not hesitate to speak up, do not take time to choose your words carefully, do not worry about who will be affected by what you say. Remember: there is nothing more important than your opinion. Write that reality on your heart. Do not stop attacking and complaining until you have consumed the attention of everyone around (and I do mean EVERYONE).
Chapter 2:
Talk ABOUT people instead of talking TO them. You will find that your cause is stronger if you only talk about people instead of wasting your time talking TO them. Don’t worry about having your facts straight or acknowledging that there may be more to the story than you know. You know how you feel. And remember, there is nothing more important than your opinion. You have been hurt and if others get hurt in the crossfire, that’s just the price that has to be paid for the transgression. Maybe people will think twice before doing that again. Remember, if the others hadn’t hurt your feelings, all this would never have happened. So, if people get hurt, it’s not your fault.
Chapter 3:
Remember that blaming is a very effective way for people to see how deeply you have been wronged. People won’t be galvanized to support you unless they see you have been wronged. Tell your story with passion and tell it to as many people as possible. Don’t get sidetracked by the facts and don’t spend your time with people who dare to question your version. You must get attention to your cause. Remember, this is all about you.
Chapter 4:
And, in addition, it is all about your family. Family is important. So if anyone in your family gets their feelings hurt, that’s the same as hurting your feelings. It doesn’t matter whether the family member was right or wrong, if somebody hurts their feelings, they have hurt your feelings too. Remember: speak up, blame others, spread the word about the injustice, don’t feel the need to stick too closely to what actually important. Feelings got hurt. That’s what really matters. Family is important. Don’t let people get away with hurting your family’s feelings.
Chapter 5:
When the problem is about something at church, be sure you tell everyone how many years you and your family have been members of the church. That’s how people will know what a serious problem this is. And don’t stop complaining with the people directly involved. Register your complaint with every church official you can think of. Remember, what could be more important? Wrongs must be righted! This is especially true if your preacher has done something to hurt your feelings. Hurting your feelings is a terrible violation of the minister’s purpose to make sure everyone is happy. Such a transgression cannot be ignored—especially for someone who has been in this church as long as you have. There’s always hope that if you can be successful in stirring up enough dissatisfaction, you have a chance of getting your preacher moved. That will teach everyone the consequences of hurting your feelings.
Chapter 6:
Finally – and of great importance—remember that your allegiance to these sacred texts supercedes any other teaching! Some people will try to appeal to other sacred texts – don’t get sidetracked! This is the supreme sacred text and don’t you forget it. And don’t let anyone else forget it. Amen
So here it is: the manuscript of the ancient sacred text. I am pretty sure I have written it out accurately from what I see in the lives of its faithful followers.
I have never learned how to reconcile the difference between the very plain teaching of the Bible and the opposite behavior I see too often in church people. When church people are angry, their actions often don’t resemble the Golden Rule, the Great Commandment, the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord’s Prayer, admonitions to work for unity in the Body of Christ or anything else in the Bible. Forgiveness? Forget it. Kindness? You’ve got to be kidding. Mutual love? Not on your life. Telling the truth? Oh, please! Loving friends is formidable…loving enemies? Impossible. Don’t even mention it. When people get their feelings hurt, I have had the idea that the life, teaching and example of Jesus goes out the window.
For the longest time, this has upset me.
Now, I believe I have figured it out.
There is another ancient manuscript that people give allegiance to. That has to be the answer. It’s the only explanation I can think of. I have not seen the written manuscript, but I have seen the lives of those shaped by it vividly enough to reconstruct it. Like the book of James or I John, this is a powerful, but not a long text. From what I see, this is how the sacred text reads:
Chapter 1:
There is nothing more important than your opinion. When someone disagrees with your opinion, you should mow them down no matter who gets hurt in the crossfire. You need to be heard. When your feelings are hurt, that’s an injustice that demands attention. Do not hesitate to speak up, do not take time to choose your words carefully, do not worry about who will be affected by what you say. Remember: there is nothing more important than your opinion. Write that reality on your heart. Do not stop attacking and complaining until you have consumed the attention of everyone around (and I do mean EVERYONE).
Chapter 2:
Talk ABOUT people instead of talking TO them. You will find that your cause is stronger if you only talk about people instead of wasting your time talking TO them. Don’t worry about having your facts straight or acknowledging that there may be more to the story than you know. You know how you feel. And remember, there is nothing more important than your opinion. You have been hurt and if others get hurt in the crossfire, that’s just the price that has to be paid for the transgression. Maybe people will think twice before doing that again. Remember, if the others hadn’t hurt your feelings, all this would never have happened. So, if people get hurt, it’s not your fault.
Chapter 3:
Remember that blaming is a very effective way for people to see how deeply you have been wronged. People won’t be galvanized to support you unless they see you have been wronged. Tell your story with passion and tell it to as many people as possible. Don’t get sidetracked by the facts and don’t spend your time with people who dare to question your version. You must get attention to your cause. Remember, this is all about you.
Chapter 4:
And, in addition, it is all about your family. Family is important. So if anyone in your family gets their feelings hurt, that’s the same as hurting your feelings. It doesn’t matter whether the family member was right or wrong, if somebody hurts their feelings, they have hurt your feelings too. Remember: speak up, blame others, spread the word about the injustice, don’t feel the need to stick too closely to what actually important. Feelings got hurt. That’s what really matters. Family is important. Don’t let people get away with hurting your family’s feelings.
Chapter 5:
When the problem is about something at church, be sure you tell everyone how many years you and your family have been members of the church. That’s how people will know what a serious problem this is. And don’t stop complaining with the people directly involved. Register your complaint with every church official you can think of. Remember, what could be more important? Wrongs must be righted! This is especially true if your preacher has done something to hurt your feelings. Hurting your feelings is a terrible violation of the minister’s purpose to make sure everyone is happy. Such a transgression cannot be ignored—especially for someone who has been in this church as long as you have. There’s always hope that if you can be successful in stirring up enough dissatisfaction, you have a chance of getting your preacher moved. That will teach everyone the consequences of hurting your feelings.
Chapter 6:
Finally – and of great importance—remember that your allegiance to these sacred texts supercedes any other teaching! Some people will try to appeal to other sacred texts – don’t get sidetracked! This is the supreme sacred text and don’t you forget it. And don’t let anyone else forget it. Amen
So here it is: the manuscript of the ancient sacred text. I am pretty sure I have written it out accurately from what I see in the lives of its faithful followers.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Needs next door
I was broken-hearted to learn this week that my next door neighbor had been in the hospital for over a week. I was sad that he had been hospitalized...but, even more so that I hadn't known he was there. I would have gone for a visit, sent flowers, checked on his wife -- something.
I love my home. But my neighbors have made my life such a joy. They are thoughtful and helpful and friendly -- really special people. I am so grateful for them.
I was reminded of something important. There is always more going on than we know -- even with those nearby.
When I served a local church, I always knew every Sunday that people were sitting next to people who had struggles/challenges that were not yet public. At times, I cringed when I heard careless, casual comments that cut others to the core. Those comments -- which people often thought harmless, made it harder for people to share their hearts and deep struggles.
Pastors are often advised to speak in conversations as if everyone in their congregation is related. Many times, most people are related! But, even if they are not, it is so wise to speak thoughtfully! We never know the burdens people are carrying on the inside.
How much more loving we might be--better neighbors and better Christians-- if we remember that there is so much more going on in the lives of those around us than what we see from the outside.
I love my home. But my neighbors have made my life such a joy. They are thoughtful and helpful and friendly -- really special people. I am so grateful for them.
I was reminded of something important. There is always more going on than we know -- even with those nearby.
When I served a local church, I always knew every Sunday that people were sitting next to people who had struggles/challenges that were not yet public. At times, I cringed when I heard careless, casual comments that cut others to the core. Those comments -- which people often thought harmless, made it harder for people to share their hearts and deep struggles.
Pastors are often advised to speak in conversations as if everyone in their congregation is related. Many times, most people are related! But, even if they are not, it is so wise to speak thoughtfully! We never know the burdens people are carrying on the inside.
How much more loving we might be--better neighbors and better Christians-- if we remember that there is so much more going on in the lives of those around us than what we see from the outside.
Friday, September 23, 2011
I Love Lucy
Anyone who has a wonderful mother has a lifelong blessing. I am one of those people. Every day, I thank God for my remarkable mother, Rosalie DeYoung Shepherd.
Not only did I have the most amazing, loving mother. My mother’s lifelong best friend doubled the blessing. Eighty-nine years ago today, the gift of another wonderful woman came into the world. Today, I am thanking God for my “second mother”, Lucy Brooks.
Lucy and her husband, Irvin were members of Cooper Memorial Methodist Church when my father was appointed to be the pastor there in 1949. Their first child, Terry, was born on Christmas day of 1949. I was the firstborn in my family 6 months later. The four of them became fast friends. After my parents moved from Louisville, the friendship continued, deepened and grew. It was no ordinary friendship.
Every single week, my mother wrote a letter to Lucy about our family. Every week, Lucy wrote my mother a letter about the Brooks family. Oh how I have wished that they saved those letters! That would be the complete, unabridged history of our families.
Even though the firstborns have grown up in different geographical places since we were 2 years old, there was a common denominator in the love Lucy had for both of us. Every year on May 28 –every single year—I have had a birthday card from Lucy. “Love you much” has been her signature “sign off” to cards and phone calls and visits.
When my mother had surgeries in the two years before her death, Lucy was on my “first-to-call” list along with mother’s blood sisters. She and my mother were sisters of the heart. They had a special gift of loving each other…and loving everyone in their lives.
Lucy has given me that precious gift of unconditional love that is so rare for humans but so typical of God. Throughout my life, I have always known that Lucy loved me…loved me unconditionally. Could I have disappointed her? Yes, I’m sure that was possible. She has very strong principles. Lucy was a teacher and she spent her life building up the character of children in the classroom and everyone she knew. But I have had the treasured experience of knowing that nothing – absolutely nothing—would keep her from loving me. Her husband, children, grandchildren, friends who live closer to her experienced it even more. That’s a God-love. And an indescribable blessing.
Lucy is 89 today. I don’t need a special occasion to be thankful for her life. But on this day of her birth, I am especially grateful. “I Love Lucy” is more than a funny TV show of my childhood. It is the affirmation of my heart. Love you much, Lucy. More than you will ever know, your love has made a difference in my life.
Not only did I have the most amazing, loving mother. My mother’s lifelong best friend doubled the blessing. Eighty-nine years ago today, the gift of another wonderful woman came into the world. Today, I am thanking God for my “second mother”, Lucy Brooks.
Lucy and her husband, Irvin were members of Cooper Memorial Methodist Church when my father was appointed to be the pastor there in 1949. Their first child, Terry, was born on Christmas day of 1949. I was the firstborn in my family 6 months later. The four of them became fast friends. After my parents moved from Louisville, the friendship continued, deepened and grew. It was no ordinary friendship.
Every single week, my mother wrote a letter to Lucy about our family. Every week, Lucy wrote my mother a letter about the Brooks family. Oh how I have wished that they saved those letters! That would be the complete, unabridged history of our families.
Even though the firstborns have grown up in different geographical places since we were 2 years old, there was a common denominator in the love Lucy had for both of us. Every year on May 28 –every single year—I have had a birthday card from Lucy. “Love you much” has been her signature “sign off” to cards and phone calls and visits.
When my mother had surgeries in the two years before her death, Lucy was on my “first-to-call” list along with mother’s blood sisters. She and my mother were sisters of the heart. They had a special gift of loving each other…and loving everyone in their lives.
Lucy has given me that precious gift of unconditional love that is so rare for humans but so typical of God. Throughout my life, I have always known that Lucy loved me…loved me unconditionally. Could I have disappointed her? Yes, I’m sure that was possible. She has very strong principles. Lucy was a teacher and she spent her life building up the character of children in the classroom and everyone she knew. But I have had the treasured experience of knowing that nothing – absolutely nothing—would keep her from loving me. Her husband, children, grandchildren, friends who live closer to her experienced it even more. That’s a God-love. And an indescribable blessing.
Lucy is 89 today. I don’t need a special occasion to be thankful for her life. But on this day of her birth, I am especially grateful. “I Love Lucy” is more than a funny TV show of my childhood. It is the affirmation of my heart. Love you much, Lucy. More than you will ever know, your love has made a difference in my life.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thanking God for the gift of grandchildren!
There are so many reasons in life to be discouraged. That's more true in this ministry than any other of my life.Balance is precious...and nothing is a more powerful balancer than the pure love of grandchildren. And no one has more adorable grandchildren than I do!
The world is so full of things to be discouraged about. No matter what the job, negativity is everywhere. God has given us an abundance of things to be thankful for...but those are not the things that ordinarily make the headlines to draw our attention. The dramas of work are often penetrated by negative situations and people. So I am not only thanking God for the extraordinary gifts of unconditional love....and letting that love give fresh eyes for the less obvious -- but richly present positive balances God builds into every day.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Living Psalm 23
After church today, a man told me he was very impressed that I could recite Psalm 23 without reading it. Being able to say the 23rd Psalm isn’t the fruit of laborious memorization. I’ve read it so many times I can’t help but know it by heart.
I’ve not just read the 23rd Psalm. I’ve lived it. This morning, I shared with the congregation one experience of living Psalm 23:5,6 in one appointment. A man in my congregation was not happy about having a female preacher. It wasn’t personal because he was mad about it before ever meeting me. But he didn’t stop with grousing about having a woman as a preacher. The better things went in the ministry of the church, the madder he got. He did everything he could to stir up criticism and opposition to me. He told lies about me and constantly looked for something to criticize. He sat in worship arms crossed on his chest with a frozen scowl on his face every Sunday. And, just as often, I lived the truth and beauty of the psalmist’s affirmation: “Thou prepares a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over.” Each Sunday, God gave me the gift of a message, the high calling of the ministry and a full cup of love and assurance.
Before I left the lunch after worship today, one man stopped me and asked me if that man in my sermon ever changed his mind. Although my pastoral life is filled with precious experiences where people (male and female) DID change their mind, this isn’t one of them. “No,” I said. “As far as I know, he never did stop opposing me.”
But, quickly, I realized that answer was incomplete. “The important thing is that his hard heart didn’t harden mine.” Was it hard to face the constant undermining, the relentless negative presence? Yes. Only God knows how deeply that hurt me. But God’s provisions were deeper. The ugliness of the other person didn’t turn into ugliness in my own heart. Even though he did not live up to his Christian commitment or his membership vows, I did not fail to extend Christ’s love to him or pray for him. The real danger of evil, as I see it, is that, in their pain, the patient, innocent wounded become like the very evil that hurt them.
This is precisely where the grace of God transforms. “Love your enemies”, Jesus teaches. “Pray for those who despitefully use you.” And, in excruciating pain, Jesus lived what he taught: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Just before He was about to be crucified, Jesus told his disciples, “In the world you will have tribulation, but do not be afraid. I have overcome the world.” When the resurrected Christ found disciples who had deserted and denied him, his first words were “Peace be with you.” Jesus lived out of the great resources of God’s love.
God’s Word doesn’t tell us that we will be exempt from the valley of the shadow of death or the presence of enemies. The consistent witness of Scripture is that the resources of faith are stronger than the harsh realities of the world. Are the disciples in a storm? Yes. But Jesus is with them. Are there enemies? Yes. But God prepares a table. Is there a valley of deepest darkness? Yes. But God’s presence fortifies against all fear. Over and over, God’s people are invited to turn to provisions of faith in the face of painful realities.
If the 9/11 remembrance brings forward any challenge to Christians, it is the teaching of Jesus to love our enemies. If the pain of 9/11 brings a danger, it is to let the hatred of others make us haters, too. If the national tragedy gives us a spiritual challenge, it is to be more compassionate than cynical, to be more faithful than fearful – to live out of the rich resources God offers instead of living out of the shallow responses of wounded hearts. “I will fear no evil…” Ancient words, but a great testimony for ever-new challenges in today’s world.
I’ve not just read the 23rd Psalm. I’ve lived it. This morning, I shared with the congregation one experience of living Psalm 23:5,6 in one appointment. A man in my congregation was not happy about having a female preacher. It wasn’t personal because he was mad about it before ever meeting me. But he didn’t stop with grousing about having a woman as a preacher. The better things went in the ministry of the church, the madder he got. He did everything he could to stir up criticism and opposition to me. He told lies about me and constantly looked for something to criticize. He sat in worship arms crossed on his chest with a frozen scowl on his face every Sunday. And, just as often, I lived the truth and beauty of the psalmist’s affirmation: “Thou prepares a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over.” Each Sunday, God gave me the gift of a message, the high calling of the ministry and a full cup of love and assurance.
Before I left the lunch after worship today, one man stopped me and asked me if that man in my sermon ever changed his mind. Although my pastoral life is filled with precious experiences where people (male and female) DID change their mind, this isn’t one of them. “No,” I said. “As far as I know, he never did stop opposing me.”
But, quickly, I realized that answer was incomplete. “The important thing is that his hard heart didn’t harden mine.” Was it hard to face the constant undermining, the relentless negative presence? Yes. Only God knows how deeply that hurt me. But God’s provisions were deeper. The ugliness of the other person didn’t turn into ugliness in my own heart. Even though he did not live up to his Christian commitment or his membership vows, I did not fail to extend Christ’s love to him or pray for him. The real danger of evil, as I see it, is that, in their pain, the patient, innocent wounded become like the very evil that hurt them.
This is precisely where the grace of God transforms. “Love your enemies”, Jesus teaches. “Pray for those who despitefully use you.” And, in excruciating pain, Jesus lived what he taught: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Just before He was about to be crucified, Jesus told his disciples, “In the world you will have tribulation, but do not be afraid. I have overcome the world.” When the resurrected Christ found disciples who had deserted and denied him, his first words were “Peace be with you.” Jesus lived out of the great resources of God’s love.
God’s Word doesn’t tell us that we will be exempt from the valley of the shadow of death or the presence of enemies. The consistent witness of Scripture is that the resources of faith are stronger than the harsh realities of the world. Are the disciples in a storm? Yes. But Jesus is with them. Are there enemies? Yes. But God prepares a table. Is there a valley of deepest darkness? Yes. But God’s presence fortifies against all fear. Over and over, God’s people are invited to turn to provisions of faith in the face of painful realities.
If the 9/11 remembrance brings forward any challenge to Christians, it is the teaching of Jesus to love our enemies. If the pain of 9/11 brings a danger, it is to let the hatred of others make us haters, too. If the national tragedy gives us a spiritual challenge, it is to be more compassionate than cynical, to be more faithful than fearful – to live out of the rich resources God offers instead of living out of the shallow responses of wounded hearts. “I will fear no evil…” Ancient words, but a great testimony for ever-new challenges in today’s world.
Friday, September 9, 2011
I will fear no evil...
Before the intensified attention to 9/11, I had already been feeling the vulnerability of life. Everyone knows in the back of their minds that life is short, that the world is dangerous and unpredictable, that things can dramatically change in a heartbeat. We don’t usually dwell on these realities. By the nature of our work, pastors are acutely aware of these stark truths about life.
Most people have had the experience when the reminders of life’s fragility ganged up in the calendar and the heart. That’s what has been happening to me in the past couple of weeks: the sudden, unexpected death of a dear friend just my age, the news of the recurrence of cancer with another friend, the death of a like-my-mother precious presence in life all within a week. So I didn’t need all the stories of 9/11 to remember that we never know what a day will bring. I don’t need the talk of 9/11 to remember that evil is real and that good people—innocent people—suffer in this fallen world. I don’t need news stories to tell me that life can turn upside-down in a heartbeat. Those realities did not (or end) on September 11, 2001.
Exactly at this point of painful reality, the rich resources of faith makes a difference. The 9/11 experiences of life – those gut-wrenching, life-changing, cut-to-the-core experiences—send us frantically scrambling for a sure foundation. And, no matter what has happened, the dependable, strong, redemptive love of God is always there. “I will fear no evil” we all learned to recite from the beloved 23rd Psalm “for thou art with me.” It’s in the 9/11 times, the true, dependable, unstoppable source of security emerges. We see how much we have trusted in things that will pass away. And, at our best, we put our pain to the good work of establishing/re-establishing an anchor of life that will never fail us or let us down: the love of God.
As with every tragedy, the most important thing is not the shock of what happened. The defining dynamic is what we do with the tragedies that life brings. On September 11 (and every anniversary day of other tragedies), some will be bitter, angry, depressed or crippled with sorrow. I understand. No one should condemn others for the deep emotions of loss. At some point—some life-giving turn—the bigger question emerges: What am I going to do with this unspeakable tragedy that has happened? That’s the defining question. Will the tragedy define life? Or will the tragedy of life turn us to the unfailing resources of God?
In a devotional book I have been reading, Trusting God for Everything: Psalm 23 by Jan Johnson, she points out that the verse I have always loved “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” (Psalm 23:4) literally means “Yea though I walk through the valley of deepest darkness…” That includes all of life’s bitterest experiences. Followed by the great affirmation I invite us all to make: I will fear no evil; for thou art with me. Evil is present in the world, but it is not feared. What a great witness our faith has to offer to our anxious, insecure, dangerous world!
Looking back across the last 10 years, I am looking at life with this question: How has 9/11 (our national tragedy or your personal 9/11 experiences) shaped me? Am I more cynical, bitter, angry, insecure, resentful, closed to others or God? Or am more trusting in God, more loving, more forgiving, more merciful, more peaceful and committed to living in peace with others? Does tragedy in life shape me or, by God’s grace, am I transformed?
Long ago, I made it a daily practice to read Romans 12. This weekend, as our nation walks through the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I am adding a daily text-- the 23rd Psalm-- at the beginning and the close of the day. The only way through the valley of deepest darknesses...the only way to fear no evil is through the security greater than life--the security of God's dependable love.
Most people have had the experience when the reminders of life’s fragility ganged up in the calendar and the heart. That’s what has been happening to me in the past couple of weeks: the sudden, unexpected death of a dear friend just my age, the news of the recurrence of cancer with another friend, the death of a like-my-mother precious presence in life all within a week. So I didn’t need all the stories of 9/11 to remember that we never know what a day will bring. I don’t need the talk of 9/11 to remember that evil is real and that good people—innocent people—suffer in this fallen world. I don’t need news stories to tell me that life can turn upside-down in a heartbeat. Those realities did not (or end) on September 11, 2001.
Exactly at this point of painful reality, the rich resources of faith makes a difference. The 9/11 experiences of life – those gut-wrenching, life-changing, cut-to-the-core experiences—send us frantically scrambling for a sure foundation. And, no matter what has happened, the dependable, strong, redemptive love of God is always there. “I will fear no evil” we all learned to recite from the beloved 23rd Psalm “for thou art with me.” It’s in the 9/11 times, the true, dependable, unstoppable source of security emerges. We see how much we have trusted in things that will pass away. And, at our best, we put our pain to the good work of establishing/re-establishing an anchor of life that will never fail us or let us down: the love of God.
As with every tragedy, the most important thing is not the shock of what happened. The defining dynamic is what we do with the tragedies that life brings. On September 11 (and every anniversary day of other tragedies), some will be bitter, angry, depressed or crippled with sorrow. I understand. No one should condemn others for the deep emotions of loss. At some point—some life-giving turn—the bigger question emerges: What am I going to do with this unspeakable tragedy that has happened? That’s the defining question. Will the tragedy define life? Or will the tragedy of life turn us to the unfailing resources of God?
In a devotional book I have been reading, Trusting God for Everything: Psalm 23 by Jan Johnson, she points out that the verse I have always loved “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” (Psalm 23:4) literally means “Yea though I walk through the valley of deepest darkness…” That includes all of life’s bitterest experiences. Followed by the great affirmation I invite us all to make: I will fear no evil; for thou art with me. Evil is present in the world, but it is not feared. What a great witness our faith has to offer to our anxious, insecure, dangerous world!
Looking back across the last 10 years, I am looking at life with this question: How has 9/11 (our national tragedy or your personal 9/11 experiences) shaped me? Am I more cynical, bitter, angry, insecure, resentful, closed to others or God? Or am more trusting in God, more loving, more forgiving, more merciful, more peaceful and committed to living in peace with others? Does tragedy in life shape me or, by God’s grace, am I transformed?
Long ago, I made it a daily practice to read Romans 12. This weekend, as our nation walks through the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I am adding a daily text-- the 23rd Psalm-- at the beginning and the close of the day. The only way through the valley of deepest darknesses...the only way to fear no evil is through the security greater than life--the security of God's dependable love.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wondering about disasters.
Can somebody help me?
I am struggling to understand something confusing and repetitive. Disasters seems to promote self-doubt. “Why did this happen to me/us?” is a very common reaction. In our country, with our precious freedom of speech, disasters also become the occasions for religious and political speakers to take the situation for assertions that God is punishing people/the nation for something that the spokesperson wants to denounce. And, to the point of my concern, faithful, dedicated Christians seem to be very vulnerable to believing that God sent the natural disaster as a sign of His wrath and disapproval.
Can anyone explain to me why people would believe such a thing?
The God we worship revealed in Scripture has consistently, constantly, and creatively sought to save us in love. There was a time the Bible tells us that God got so fed up with human sin that He created a natural disaster as a sign of his judgment (Genesis 8/9). The end of this story is a precious covenant. God clearly states (Genesis 8:21,22) that He will not destroy people through natural disasters even though the inclination of the human heart is toward evil. Further, God gives a sign/seal of His covenant – the rainbow. (Genesis 9: 13-17). God made a promise to human beings that natural disasters would not be His way of pronouncing judgment on their sin.
And, beyond that covenant of assurance, God sent Jesus as the pure and prime example of His commitment to win us in love to salvation and wholeness of life. Sending down natural disasters is not God’s way. John 3:17 is very clear: God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world. And, while I am fairly certain that God has not been very happy with the ways of Washington, I am completely confident, that God isn’t very happy about His name invoked as the source of natural disasters to make a political point. That seems to me to be taking the name of the Lord in vain.
The idea that God would send a natural disaster to indiscriminately harm thousands of people is completely foreign to Christian faith. Faithful and unfaithful, saints AND sinners are hurt by disasters. Does anyone think it is like God to send wrath on everyone—the faithful and the unfaithful? That’s not Christian. And besides, if God was going to pick up natural disasters as a way of dealing with sin, we would have non-stop natural disasters everywhere we turn all the time. C'mon folks, think it through!
Our God is a God of love and compassion and mercy. United Methodist faith is centered on grace. Be careful of the messages you hear in the airwaves. Test the assertions of those who want your attention, your vote and/or your money against biblical truth. Especially in the vulnerability of doubt in the wake of a personal or natural disaster, be doubly careful what you believe when people make claims about God being the source of death and destruction. That’s an Old Testament concept that even a true reading of the Old Testament won’t support.
But such outlandish heresy does make headlines. It does generate publicity. It does get people’s attention. And, while that makes me cringe, these outrageous statements also open a door – they give us an opportunity to be witnesses to God’s everlasting love, mercy, grace and hope.
I am struggling to understand something confusing and repetitive. Disasters seems to promote self-doubt. “Why did this happen to me/us?” is a very common reaction. In our country, with our precious freedom of speech, disasters also become the occasions for religious and political speakers to take the situation for assertions that God is punishing people/the nation for something that the spokesperson wants to denounce. And, to the point of my concern, faithful, dedicated Christians seem to be very vulnerable to believing that God sent the natural disaster as a sign of His wrath and disapproval.
Can anyone explain to me why people would believe such a thing?
The God we worship revealed in Scripture has consistently, constantly, and creatively sought to save us in love. There was a time the Bible tells us that God got so fed up with human sin that He created a natural disaster as a sign of his judgment (Genesis 8/9). The end of this story is a precious covenant. God clearly states (Genesis 8:21,22) that He will not destroy people through natural disasters even though the inclination of the human heart is toward evil. Further, God gives a sign/seal of His covenant – the rainbow. (Genesis 9: 13-17). God made a promise to human beings that natural disasters would not be His way of pronouncing judgment on their sin.
And, beyond that covenant of assurance, God sent Jesus as the pure and prime example of His commitment to win us in love to salvation and wholeness of life. Sending down natural disasters is not God’s way. John 3:17 is very clear: God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world. And, while I am fairly certain that God has not been very happy with the ways of Washington, I am completely confident, that God isn’t very happy about His name invoked as the source of natural disasters to make a political point. That seems to me to be taking the name of the Lord in vain.
The idea that God would send a natural disaster to indiscriminately harm thousands of people is completely foreign to Christian faith. Faithful and unfaithful, saints AND sinners are hurt by disasters. Does anyone think it is like God to send wrath on everyone—the faithful and the unfaithful? That’s not Christian. And besides, if God was going to pick up natural disasters as a way of dealing with sin, we would have non-stop natural disasters everywhere we turn all the time. C'mon folks, think it through!
Our God is a God of love and compassion and mercy. United Methodist faith is centered on grace. Be careful of the messages you hear in the airwaves. Test the assertions of those who want your attention, your vote and/or your money against biblical truth. Especially in the vulnerability of doubt in the wake of a personal or natural disaster, be doubly careful what you believe when people make claims about God being the source of death and destruction. That’s an Old Testament concept that even a true reading of the Old Testament won’t support.
But such outlandish heresy does make headlines. It does generate publicity. It does get people’s attention. And, while that makes me cringe, these outrageous statements also open a door – they give us an opportunity to be witnesses to God’s everlasting love, mercy, grace and hope.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
A backyard parable...
One of the most wonderful things about my home is my backyard. It is full of beauty -- flowers, birds...a true refuge. I can honestly say I don't ever take that beauty for granted.
This summer, after traveling for a couple of weeks, I noticed that my backyard bird feeder didn't need refilling. That was strange. As I watched the next couple of days, I noticed that birds were not flocking to the feeder like they usually do. (It is, after all, the only bird feeder in my yard that the squirrels can't get into.)
The reason wasn't apparent from a distance. So I took a closer look.
When I made a careful, close look, I saw the reason that the birds were not coming to the birdfeeder. Moisture had gotten into the feeder and the seed had gotten clumped up and hardened. The bird feeder was full of bird seed but birdseed was blocked. The birds weren't coming because they couldn't get anything out.
I emptied the feeder, cleaned out the bird feeder, let it dry, re-filled it and my birds are coming back.
I've been thinking about that bird feeder. I think the church these days is a lot like the bird feeder: looks like it has lots of nourishment, but, upon close examination, there are things that block the nourishment from getting out. And, like the birds, when people don't get nourished, they stop coming. Like the birdfeeder, cleaning out the clogs and hardened places takes patience and hard work. But the results are well worth it.
And the truth is that too many people look at the church like I first looked at my clogged bird feeder. Looks like there is plenty of food. What's wrong with the birds? Too many people don't take the up close look to find the hardened obstacles to the feeding...deny that anything needs to be done. Too many aren't willing to deal with the clogs.
The reality is that people are not going to come to church if they aren't being fed. Conflicts, cliques, resistance to changes, complaining unhealthy practices, unhealthy leaders -- all those things keep the life-giving power of the gospel from coming through. Those things need to go. The church may look fine from the outside. But the love and power God intends gets blocked and hardened.
Anyone who loves the church needs to take a closer look whenever there's a decline in attendance. Even in this culture where there is tremendous competition for time, people are starving for the deep love that Christ can provide. When the people aren't coming, take a look at why and be willing to clean out anything blocking the free flow of God's love.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Why in the world would anyone come back?
The boys and I made a trip to the wonderful world Methodist Museum while we have been at Lake Junaluska. "This is very interesting," said my 6 year old. I'm glad he thinks so. I hope it gets more interesting and more challenging to him as the years go by.
One of the richest experiences of Junaluska is running into people across the years. One friend and I were catching up, realizing how long it had been since we had talked. Knowing that she was an active United Methodist, I asked about her church and was surprised to hear she no longer attends there. "Too much church, too little Christ" was her shorthand explanation.
Because her work involves pastors, she said she had noticed a downcast look in pastors recently so she set out to visit churches in the vicinity. That explained the looks.
What a shock to her that, after a Sunday as a visitor, she would walk away from the worship experience wondering, "Why in the world would anyone come back?"
It's a sobering observation. With the culture shift, maybe the best thing people who love the church could do would be to ask themselves, "What about our church would make people want to come back?" and, even more personally, "What about my life/interactions would make people want to come back to church?"
The statistics are stunning that the vast majority of people who come to visit in a church do not just drop by. They come because of a special need in their lives. They don't come in telling people about the diagnosis, the difficult family circumstance, the job pressure -- but church members can be wise enough to know that some need precipitated the presence of the new person in the pew. When they come, do they find the warmth, openness, kindness, generosity of spirit that draws people to Jesus?
John Wesley had a passion for people and a zeal for sharing the gospel. We have a heritage to pass on. I want it to be more than taking a picture at a museum. I want my grandchildren -- and all United Methodists--to be inspired and fueled by our energetic beginnings and the unique UM combination of enthusiasm and discipline. Next Sunday, when you leave worship, ask yourself, "Why in the world would anyone come back?" and get to work bringing John Wesley's fervor back into our churches.
Friday, July 29, 2011
The issues that have no deadline...
Though the media/headline/political commentary is focused intensely on the debt crisis/debt limit crisis in this country, followers of Christian faith know the challenges run deeper. The issues underneath, behind and above the debt/debt ceiling decisions are deeply spiritual and unaddressed (as far as I can tell) by most of the conversation.
These prime mover issues don't have an August 2 deadline. They are deeper than the Congress can solve because of their spiritual component. In the turmoil of political debate, the door is open for Christians to witness to fundamental teachings of biblical faith. This is our opportunity to love God and our country enough to bear witness to the light of God for the present age--and to apply Christian principles regardless of political affiliation.
At the heart of the debt issue facing our nation are fundamental issues of human greed, the seductive, spiritually treacherous temptations of weath and how we care for the poor and vulnerable. Capitalism adulates wealth and the acquisition of wealth. Some tout the importance of the unfettered, unregulated freedom to make as much money as possible. That's where the crossroads of capitalism and Christianity meet.
A baseline of Christian understanding of human nature is the importance of the accountability of all people and, quite specifically the particular, spiritual temptations of those who are wealthy and powerful. The Judeo-Christian heritage is saturated with teaching about the imperative of those who have resources to care for those less fortunate. When governance presses for unfettered pursuit of wealth and minimizes responsibility to the poor, both of those directions are counter to the consistent teaching of Scripture. These concerns of Scripture applies to Christians no matter what their political affiliation.
There are other Christian principles that also apply to what we are seeing unfold in our nation's political discourse. The first is a the steadfast, resolute, unwavering commitment of Christians to tell the truth. That cannot get lost no matter what the issue. Christians cannot be consistent with Christian faith and trade in misrepresentations, gossip, slander or outright lies. Again, political affiliation does not matter. All stand under God's call to truthfulness in all things.
The other primary theme of Christian teaching that is telling is the way Christians treat one another: loving others the way Christ loved us and treating others the way we want to be treated. The clear teaching of Scripture is that God created the world and Christ died for the sins of the whole world. We are all brothers and sisters. Does anyone think that changes for those who are of a different political party than your preference? Even when people, by their actions become enemies, the consistent teaching/example of Christ is that we should love our enemies. Christians should call all politicians and all leaders to these standards...and we should all live them in our political and personal conversations.
The spiritual sickness of human nature plays out in so many ways. I am praying -- not only that our leaders will find a solution to the debt/debt limit problem in our country. I am praying that Christians everywhere will not let the heat of political rhetoric obscure the underlying issues which remind us we are all in need of God's guidance, redemption and healing grace. Let's keep the spiritual issues before us no matter what legislation passes.
These prime mover issues don't have an August 2 deadline. They are deeper than the Congress can solve because of their spiritual component. In the turmoil of political debate, the door is open for Christians to witness to fundamental teachings of biblical faith. This is our opportunity to love God and our country enough to bear witness to the light of God for the present age--and to apply Christian principles regardless of political affiliation.
At the heart of the debt issue facing our nation are fundamental issues of human greed, the seductive, spiritually treacherous temptations of weath and how we care for the poor and vulnerable. Capitalism adulates wealth and the acquisition of wealth. Some tout the importance of the unfettered, unregulated freedom to make as much money as possible. That's where the crossroads of capitalism and Christianity meet.
A baseline of Christian understanding of human nature is the importance of the accountability of all people and, quite specifically the particular, spiritual temptations of those who are wealthy and powerful. The Judeo-Christian heritage is saturated with teaching about the imperative of those who have resources to care for those less fortunate. When governance presses for unfettered pursuit of wealth and minimizes responsibility to the poor, both of those directions are counter to the consistent teaching of Scripture. These concerns of Scripture applies to Christians no matter what their political affiliation.
There are other Christian principles that also apply to what we are seeing unfold in our nation's political discourse. The first is a the steadfast, resolute, unwavering commitment of Christians to tell the truth. That cannot get lost no matter what the issue. Christians cannot be consistent with Christian faith and trade in misrepresentations, gossip, slander or outright lies. Again, political affiliation does not matter. All stand under God's call to truthfulness in all things.
The other primary theme of Christian teaching that is telling is the way Christians treat one another: loving others the way Christ loved us and treating others the way we want to be treated. The clear teaching of Scripture is that God created the world and Christ died for the sins of the whole world. We are all brothers and sisters. Does anyone think that changes for those who are of a different political party than your preference? Even when people, by their actions become enemies, the consistent teaching/example of Christ is that we should love our enemies. Christians should call all politicians and all leaders to these standards...and we should all live them in our political and personal conversations.
The spiritual sickness of human nature plays out in so many ways. I am praying -- not only that our leaders will find a solution to the debt/debt limit problem in our country. I am praying that Christians everywhere will not let the heat of political rhetoric obscure the underlying issues which remind us we are all in need of God's guidance, redemption and healing grace. Let's keep the spiritual issues before us no matter what legislation passes.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Just can't stop growing...
If Tyler Michael Conforti is not the cutest, most affectionate, smartest 3 year old on the planet, I can't imagine who is.
And today is his last visit to my house as a 3 year old. The next time he comes, he will be 4.
On the drive from his house to my house, this is part of how the conversation went:
Tyler: Grammy, I'm about to be 4!
Grammy: (feigning distress) Oh no!
Tyler: Oh yes I am! And then, after that, I'll be 5!
Grammy: (feigning greater distress) Oh no!
Tyler: Oh yes, I will. And after that, I will be 6!
etc. etc. etc. until he is 10.....
Grammy: Tyler, you are just growing up too fast. (A true statement if I've ever made one...)
Tyler: But, Grammy, I have to keep growing.
Grammy: Can't we stop it?
Tyler: NO! You can't!
Grammy: Couldn't we just put a brick on your head?
Tyler: No, I'd still keep growing...and, besides, that would hurt.
Grammy: You are getting to be such a big boy.
Tyler: That's right, Grammy. Get used to it. Because I'm going to keep growing and growing and growing and growing.
My sweet grandson is a welcome change from the adults I often encounter in my work who aren't growing and proud of it. I'm wishing more people would be excited about growing....
And today is his last visit to my house as a 3 year old. The next time he comes, he will be 4.
On the drive from his house to my house, this is part of how the conversation went:
Tyler: Grammy, I'm about to be 4!
Grammy: (feigning distress) Oh no!
Tyler: Oh yes I am! And then, after that, I'll be 5!
Grammy: (feigning greater distress) Oh no!
Tyler: Oh yes, I will. And after that, I will be 6!
etc. etc. etc. until he is 10.....
Grammy: Tyler, you are just growing up too fast. (A true statement if I've ever made one...)
Tyler: But, Grammy, I have to keep growing.
Grammy: Can't we stop it?
Tyler: NO! You can't!
Grammy: Couldn't we just put a brick on your head?
Tyler: No, I'd still keep growing...and, besides, that would hurt.
Grammy: You are getting to be such a big boy.
Tyler: That's right, Grammy. Get used to it. Because I'm going to keep growing and growing and growing and growing.
My sweet grandson is a welcome change from the adults I often encounter in my work who aren't growing and proud of it. I'm wishing more people would be excited about growing....
Saturday, July 23, 2011
What is Necessary for Beauty
Yes, it's possible to have beautiful flowers in a scalding hot summer.
The key is to keep them watered.
My plants tell me if they are going to withstand the blistering heat, they need to be watered and fed regularly. When I water and feed them regularly, they reward me with burst of blossoms and beauty. When I fail to water them, they wither. That's it. Pure and simple.
We are living in a blistering, scorching culture. Criticism, attacks, and falsehoods that permeate our culture are as depleting -- and devastating to beauty--as the scorching, relentless rays of the July summer. Churches can be the watering/feeding/beautifying source for people. But the heat of the culture makes the survival of beauty more than preachers watering members. While I believe the times press deepened responsibilities for nurture on pastors, the daily depletion requires more than a once-a-week watering. Every Christian has to cling to Christ (as Jesus taught in John 15) every day or dry up. In the adversarial tone of our nation these days, nothing is more important for every Christian than finding the daily water of life and the beauty of God's heart. Sometimes, that means more intentional prayer and devotional time. For some, disengaging with the constantly conentious voices in media will open the door to hearing God's voice. For others, daily Bible reading and reaching out to others in kind deeds and invitation will be ways for God to water the soul.
This much I know: beauty can blossom in the most intense heat. But not without regular watering. It's true for flowers and it is true for people.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Preachers! People! Please pay attention!
Please, please, please, please, please pay attention to what you say -- especially when leading worship.
Honestly, if one more preacher prays, "God, we ask you to come be with us for worship", I am going to SCREAM. Out loud.
I understanding that asking God to be present is a common practice. Misguided, but common. When that is done in a United Methodist setting, I really do feel fingernails on the chalkboard.
Why would we ask God to BE present when we Wesleyans have such deep convictions about prevenient grace -- the grace that goes before us? God gets to church (and everywhere else) befor the the first person arrives. God goes ahead of us in all things.
We don't have to ask for God's presence. In reality, we couldn't keep God out if we tried. The psalmist writes eloquently "Where shall I go to flee from your spirit? ....If I make my bed in hell, you are there." So what makes us think that God might not show up at church if we didn't beg him to come?
Please, please, please, please, please! Especially when leading worship, it's important to choose words that match our beliefs! Stop asking for God to show up. Start paying attention and asking people to open their hearts to the God who is graciously and pervasively present. That is one of our most important beliefs.
I don't want to make a scene at worship. But "Lord, keep your hand around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth" is not going to be a prayer adequate for me if I keep hearing preachers pray for God to be present. God beat you there! Pay attention, folks!
Honestly, if one more preacher prays, "God, we ask you to come be with us for worship", I am going to SCREAM. Out loud.
I understanding that asking God to be present is a common practice. Misguided, but common. When that is done in a United Methodist setting, I really do feel fingernails on the chalkboard.
Why would we ask God to BE present when we Wesleyans have such deep convictions about prevenient grace -- the grace that goes before us? God gets to church (and everywhere else) befor the the first person arrives. God goes ahead of us in all things.
We don't have to ask for God's presence. In reality, we couldn't keep God out if we tried. The psalmist writes eloquently "Where shall I go to flee from your spirit? ....If I make my bed in hell, you are there." So what makes us think that God might not show up at church if we didn't beg him to come?
Please, please, please, please, please! Especially when leading worship, it's important to choose words that match our beliefs! Stop asking for God to show up. Start paying attention and asking people to open their hearts to the God who is graciously and pervasively present. That is one of our most important beliefs.
I don't want to make a scene at worship. But "Lord, keep your hand around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth" is not going to be a prayer adequate for me if I keep hearing preachers pray for God to be present. God beat you there! Pay attention, folks!
Friday, July 1, 2011
A new beginning
July 1. First official day of the new conference year. A chance to everyone to turn to Christ in new ways. How I wish people in the pews understood what an impact people have on their pastors!
I spent last weekend attending retirement celebrations. In each case, decades later, these fruitful ministers were giving tribute to the life-changing difference that lay people in their first churches had in shaping them as ministers. Sunday morning at Broad Street UMC was a beautiful picture. Don Shuman had the chance to conclude seven years of ministry at Broad Street along with people present from every church he has served across 40 years. Don talked about each of the churches and asked the people present to stand as he told about their ministry years. He especially lifted up the love and kindness of the first congregation he served. He told how their love and Christian example had shaped his ministry for every other church he had served since. He closed his farewell time with three hopes for Broad Street.
For the second piece of counsel, Don asked Rev. Jennifer Bingham, the new associate pastor at Broad Street, to join him at the pulpit. (Because Jennifer graduated from Duke Divinity School last December, she was available to start on staff here before the usual move date). When Jennifer stood beside him, Don put his arm around her and said to the Broad Street congregation: "This is Jennifer's first appointment. I am asking you to love her well. If you want to bless me, then do this: love Jennifer as much as my first congregation loved me because, I assure you, the way you treat her now will impact her ministry for years to come."
Everything in me wanted to stand up and start clapping. But Don had one more point to make and all attention was rightly riveted on Don. So I sat still. But his words could not be more true if they were in red letters in the Bible. The way a congregation loves (or doesn't love) the pastor makes a difference that affects every future congregation the pastor serves across time. First appointments are especially formative. But the impact at every stage makes a mark.
I celebrate the situations where pastors were sent off this week by receptive, appreciative congregations. These pastors know they have been enriched because people gave their gifts a chance, people improved on their suggestions, people forgave their mistakes. They will be better pastors in their new appointments because their congregations have been responsive and respectful, loving and supportive.
I have a heavy heart about other situations. Pastors have been wounded and that not only hurts the pastors, it leaves pain in the congregation. The pastor has been the target of unrelenting criticism. The pastor was blamed for the church's finances, the church's lack of growth, the church's lack of children, etc. etc. etc. I struggle. Does anyone really think that new people (or current members) want to attend a church with an atmosphere of constant criticism? Is there any effective way to communicate to people that tearing down the pastor tears down the church?
July 1 is the first day of the new conference year. May it be a year where Christlike love is the characteristic of all our congregations.
I spent last weekend attending retirement celebrations. In each case, decades later, these fruitful ministers were giving tribute to the life-changing difference that lay people in their first churches had in shaping them as ministers. Sunday morning at Broad Street UMC was a beautiful picture. Don Shuman had the chance to conclude seven years of ministry at Broad Street along with people present from every church he has served across 40 years. Don talked about each of the churches and asked the people present to stand as he told about their ministry years. He especially lifted up the love and kindness of the first congregation he served. He told how their love and Christian example had shaped his ministry for every other church he had served since. He closed his farewell time with three hopes for Broad Street.
For the second piece of counsel, Don asked Rev. Jennifer Bingham, the new associate pastor at Broad Street, to join him at the pulpit. (Because Jennifer graduated from Duke Divinity School last December, she was available to start on staff here before the usual move date). When Jennifer stood beside him, Don put his arm around her and said to the Broad Street congregation: "This is Jennifer's first appointment. I am asking you to love her well. If you want to bless me, then do this: love Jennifer as much as my first congregation loved me because, I assure you, the way you treat her now will impact her ministry for years to come."
Everything in me wanted to stand up and start clapping. But Don had one more point to make and all attention was rightly riveted on Don. So I sat still. But his words could not be more true if they were in red letters in the Bible. The way a congregation loves (or doesn't love) the pastor makes a difference that affects every future congregation the pastor serves across time. First appointments are especially formative. But the impact at every stage makes a mark.
I celebrate the situations where pastors were sent off this week by receptive, appreciative congregations. These pastors know they have been enriched because people gave their gifts a chance, people improved on their suggestions, people forgave their mistakes. They will be better pastors in their new appointments because their congregations have been responsive and respectful, loving and supportive.
I have a heavy heart about other situations. Pastors have been wounded and that not only hurts the pastors, it leaves pain in the congregation. The pastor has been the target of unrelenting criticism. The pastor was blamed for the church's finances, the church's lack of growth, the church's lack of children, etc. etc. etc. I struggle. Does anyone really think that new people (or current members) want to attend a church with an atmosphere of constant criticism? Is there any effective way to communicate to people that tearing down the pastor tears down the church?
July 1 is the first day of the new conference year. May it be a year where Christlike love is the characteristic of all our congregations.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Still thankful after all these years...
I learned this morning about the death of Rev. Horwood P. Myers and I remember the way that he brought life to me.
My family moved to North Carolina in September of 1984. I left my beloved first appointment in a cross-racial setting and, since the move for my husband was a September 1 opportunity, spent the year waiting and wondering if I would get a chance to serve a church. In May of 1985, my daughter's 3rd grade teacher asked the class to write the answer to this question: "If you could get your mommy anything in the world this year for Mother's Day, what would you get her?" Mary Allen wrote: "I would give my mommy a church. My mommy needs a church. My mommy wants to be a church lady." Her elementary-lined paper with her careful printing still hangs in my office.
And, oh, how I did want to serve a church! After working through 10 years of vehement opposition in Mississippi and meeting requirements of 3 different Disciplines, I was a newly ordained elder with no church in a new and very big Annual Conference where I didn't know anyone.
At appointment-making time, I had conversation with the Waynesville District Superintendent, Bob Ralls, who was very encouraging to me. He said he had a church that was being served by a retired supply but they had been asking for a younger preacher, said they wanted to grow and he would see if that might be an opening.
Bob went to meet with the PPR Committee of the Bethel-Piney Grove Charge and he described me to them. Well, maybe not comprehensively...because at the conclusion of his presentation, they said, "That's great. He sounds like just what we have been praying for!"
Then Bob had to break the rest of the story. "Well," he said, "it's not a 'he'. It's a female pastor." Dead silence. Bob pushed them gently: "You said this is just what you have been praying for." They agreed to think about it.
In the meantime, Bob went off to cabinet meetings where the first round of appointments were made. And the members of the Bethel-Piney Grove PPRC held the best kept secret (and maybe the only secret) in the cove just outside of Waynesville. They apparently did not tell a soul. After a couple of weeks--most notably, after all the other appointments were made, the PPRC called Bob and said they were just not ready for a woman. They would like for their current retired supply pastor, Horwood Myers, to come back for another year.
Things like that still happen occasionally in the church, I am sorry to say. But, oh how the atmosphere has changed! In 1985, that kind of negativity from the church was the end of opportunity for women. Women in ministry was, at best, a new idea. For most churches and cabinets, it was not a welcome idea. (Which is the most positive way to say it). Cabinets had reputations, especially at that time of WNC's history, for discouraging and disregarding women. And my conference membership was in North Mississippi. Any appointment I received in this conference would have been sheer grace. So for that opportunity to shut down was devastating.
I was crushed. Discouraged. Frustrated beyond words. And then Horwood Myers told the people at Bethel/Piney Grove that if they were refusing me because I was a woman, he wouldn't return either. Horwood didn't know me personally. The stand he took was on principle and it was a stand that he could easily have side-stepped. He liked serving Bethel-Piney Grove and they liked him. And, had he been willing to overlook their gender prejudice, I don't know if or when I would have had a church to serve in Western North Carolina.
Armed with Horwood's position, Bob Ralls went back to meet with the Bethel-Piney Grove PPRC. This time, he took reinforcements: "the old gray fox", Glenn Lackey--a neighbor of mine at Lake Junaluska who had a special love for these churches. They agreed to give me a chance. One Sunday and they would see.
That wasn't exactly a stirring affirmation or a wide open door, but that was the beginning of 5 amazing years of ministry at Bethel-Piney Grove...years that they and I still remember as exciting days of growth and joy. Things had changed dramatically when the next move came up. When moving time came, 5 years later at my request, they loaded up a caravan of pick-up trucks to move me and my daughters to Spruce Pine and, as they said, to tell those people at my new appointment that they had better take care of me or they would come back and get me in a heartbeat. God did a wonderful work in their hearts and in mine during those years. And the principles of Horwood Myers made it possible.
I'm sure there are hundreds of other stories to honor Horwood Myers for his ministry because people who live by their principles leave a lasting and extensive legacy. I often thanked Horwood in life but I could never thank him enough. He opened a door for me that made all the difference. His stand made my ministry in this conference possible. I thank God for him.
My family moved to North Carolina in September of 1984. I left my beloved first appointment in a cross-racial setting and, since the move for my husband was a September 1 opportunity, spent the year waiting and wondering if I would get a chance to serve a church. In May of 1985, my daughter's 3rd grade teacher asked the class to write the answer to this question: "If you could get your mommy anything in the world this year for Mother's Day, what would you get her?" Mary Allen wrote: "I would give my mommy a church. My mommy needs a church. My mommy wants to be a church lady." Her elementary-lined paper with her careful printing still hangs in my office.
And, oh, how I did want to serve a church! After working through 10 years of vehement opposition in Mississippi and meeting requirements of 3 different Disciplines, I was a newly ordained elder with no church in a new and very big Annual Conference where I didn't know anyone.
At appointment-making time, I had conversation with the Waynesville District Superintendent, Bob Ralls, who was very encouraging to me. He said he had a church that was being served by a retired supply but they had been asking for a younger preacher, said they wanted to grow and he would see if that might be an opening.
Bob went to meet with the PPR Committee of the Bethel-Piney Grove Charge and he described me to them. Well, maybe not comprehensively...because at the conclusion of his presentation, they said, "That's great. He sounds like just what we have been praying for!"
Then Bob had to break the rest of the story. "Well," he said, "it's not a 'he'. It's a female pastor." Dead silence. Bob pushed them gently: "You said this is just what you have been praying for." They agreed to think about it.
In the meantime, Bob went off to cabinet meetings where the first round of appointments were made. And the members of the Bethel-Piney Grove PPRC held the best kept secret (and maybe the only secret) in the cove just outside of Waynesville. They apparently did not tell a soul. After a couple of weeks--most notably, after all the other appointments were made, the PPRC called Bob and said they were just not ready for a woman. They would like for their current retired supply pastor, Horwood Myers, to come back for another year.
Things like that still happen occasionally in the church, I am sorry to say. But, oh how the atmosphere has changed! In 1985, that kind of negativity from the church was the end of opportunity for women. Women in ministry was, at best, a new idea. For most churches and cabinets, it was not a welcome idea. (Which is the most positive way to say it). Cabinets had reputations, especially at that time of WNC's history, for discouraging and disregarding women. And my conference membership was in North Mississippi. Any appointment I received in this conference would have been sheer grace. So for that opportunity to shut down was devastating.
I was crushed. Discouraged. Frustrated beyond words. And then Horwood Myers told the people at Bethel/Piney Grove that if they were refusing me because I was a woman, he wouldn't return either. Horwood didn't know me personally. The stand he took was on principle and it was a stand that he could easily have side-stepped. He liked serving Bethel-Piney Grove and they liked him. And, had he been willing to overlook their gender prejudice, I don't know if or when I would have had a church to serve in Western North Carolina.
Armed with Horwood's position, Bob Ralls went back to meet with the Bethel-Piney Grove PPRC. This time, he took reinforcements: "the old gray fox", Glenn Lackey--a neighbor of mine at Lake Junaluska who had a special love for these churches. They agreed to give me a chance. One Sunday and they would see.
That wasn't exactly a stirring affirmation or a wide open door, but that was the beginning of 5 amazing years of ministry at Bethel-Piney Grove...years that they and I still remember as exciting days of growth and joy. Things had changed dramatically when the next move came up. When moving time came, 5 years later at my request, they loaded up a caravan of pick-up trucks to move me and my daughters to Spruce Pine and, as they said, to tell those people at my new appointment that they had better take care of me or they would come back and get me in a heartbeat. God did a wonderful work in their hearts and in mine during those years. And the principles of Horwood Myers made it possible.
I'm sure there are hundreds of other stories to honor Horwood Myers for his ministry because people who live by their principles leave a lasting and extensive legacy. I often thanked Horwood in life but I could never thank him enough. He opened a door for me that made all the difference. His stand made my ministry in this conference possible. I thank God for him.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Oh my! What joy!
My robe is ready. My new stole (custom-made by my sister-in-law) is ready. My Daddy (who will be 90 in November) has his red stole and robe ready. My heart hardly knows how to take in the joy of standing with my daughter as she is ordained an elder in the United Methodist Church.
The idea of "women preachers" is pretty clear in the birth of the church (thus the design of my stole for Saturday morning): "When the Holy Spirit comes....your daughters shall prophesy..."(Acts 2:18). But for centuries, people in the church have steadfastly refused women the prophesying role. Some churches still adamantly refuse to welcome women into ordained ministry. And, although Susanna Wesley, the mother of John Wesley, was quite a preacher herself, it has only been in my lifetime that women in the United Methodist tradition have been fully recognized as elders.
So the chance for a mother to share in her daughter's ordination is a new and rare gift, indeed...much less for us to be third and fourth generation United Methodist pastors. I thank God for the changes that I have had a chance to witness in my lifetime. And, as I stand with my daughter at her ordination, I pray for a truly Holy Spirit church -- where gifts are freed and celebrated, where understanding crosses differences of all kinds and where disciples are known for their holy boldness.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
God couldn't be everywhere....???
"God couldn't be everywhere, that's why He created mothers".... a saying that adorns stationery, note pads, desk signs, carry-alls, shirts. That little phrase is everywhere.
I am a big fan of honoring mothers. Believe me, I am.
And I applaud sentiments that show appreciation to mothers. Put them on billboards, bumper-stickers -- the works! But not this one. This "God couldn't be everywhere, that's why He created mothers" should not be repeated anywhere. It is TERRIBLE theology.
God IS everywhere. At their best, mothers show and share God's love...but they are present because God can't get around everywhere. That's more like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve night. God ISeverywhere -- for mothers, for children, for fathers, for everyone, married or single no matter where they live. God is ALWAYS everywhere. Psalm 139 states it so clearly: "Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me fast." (Psalm 139: 7-10)
I never cease to be amazed at how people can listen to a phrase like this and, contrary to everything the church has taught for years, smile and unquestioningly ooh and goo over sentiment. People need to think about things! There are plenty of phrases that may sell merchandise, but the message (however well-intended) is terrible.
God IS everywhere. And I thank God for mothers who have the opportunity to make God's presence visible.
I am a big fan of honoring mothers. Believe me, I am.
And I applaud sentiments that show appreciation to mothers. Put them on billboards, bumper-stickers -- the works! But not this one. This "God couldn't be everywhere, that's why He created mothers" should not be repeated anywhere. It is TERRIBLE theology.
God IS everywhere. At their best, mothers show and share God's love...but they are present because God can't get around everywhere. That's more like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve night. God ISeverywhere -- for mothers, for children, for fathers, for everyone, married or single no matter where they live. God is ALWAYS everywhere. Psalm 139 states it so clearly: "Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me fast." (Psalm 139: 7-10)
I never cease to be amazed at how people can listen to a phrase like this and, contrary to everything the church has taught for years, smile and unquestioningly ooh and goo over sentiment. People need to think about things! There are plenty of phrases that may sell merchandise, but the message (however well-intended) is terrible.
God IS everywhere. And I thank God for mothers who have the opportunity to make God's presence visible.
Friday, April 29, 2011
The best gift of Easter
Easter is so much more than a wonderful day. The gift of resurrection takes a lifetime to understand and personally apply...
I had the joy of spending Easter with my daughter, son-in-law and precious grandchildren. 7 month old Mia got restless when it was time for the sermon (no reflection on her daddy's excellent preaching!). I was happy to take her out for some together time .We had sweet moments looking at flowers, listening to noises in the fellowship hall...she notices everything! Then I walked her through the cemetery which is adjacent to the church.
Mia looked absolutely adorable on her first Easter. She listened attentively as I whispered in her ear about the best gift of Easter. As beautiful (and advanced) as she is, I am sure she will not remember my talking to her as I walked her through the tombstones. As she grows, I hope I can continue to tell her -- and live for her--the true gift of Easter. I need to keep telling her that the gift of Easter is not new clothes. It is not Easter egg hunts or children singing or lilies or the big turnout at church. The gift of Jesus at Easter is much bigger than all that. The gift of Easter is that those tombsones in the cemetery are place markers, not tragic endings. The gift of Easter is that Jesus conquers all--the very worst that life can thow at us is no match for His triumphant power.
My beautiful little girl, Easter means that, with our lives anchored in Christ, we need not fear death -- or anything else in life. Oh, how important it is for Easter to sink in on today's disciples! How fearful and anxious and reactive we are! Jesus found his disciples and, without waiting for them to open the door, He stood among them and said, "Peace." May peace be ours. The peace of Christ---the victory of Christ: that's the best gift of Easter.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Happy Easter!
HAPPY EASTER! Happy Easter! Happy Easter!
Gorgeous spring weather.
Adorable grandchildren.
Wonderful daughters.
Inspiring worship.
Warm family gathering.
Excited boys at the family Easter egg hunt.
Great food.
Wonderful memories. More to come...
I give thanks for every single feature of this day. And more.
But none of those things are what makes Easter happy.
Easter is a day of powerful joy because Easter is the day when Christ showed that, in the face of the world's worst, God is victorious.
From one Easter to the next, I am always mindful that we do not know the obstacles, difficulties, heartaches, setbacks, meanness and cruelty that lie ahead. The glory of the Easter celebration (and, truly, every Sunday of the year is a 'mini-Easter' no matter what the season) is that no matter what setbacks or horrors, God is victorious.
Easter means that no matter what the diagnosis, no matter what the economic conditions, no matter what unforseen accident or tragedy may come, God is victorious.
Easter means that whether we -- or those we love--walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God is victorious.
Easter Sunday reminds us that in ways beyond what we could see or believe, God is doing a mighty healing work -- a victorious, transforming work --to make all things right.
When I prayed for each of my churches and pastors this morning by name (as is my Sunday morning custom), I prayed that they would have glorious worship experiences. I have prayed that our people would, in addition, have wonderful family gatherings where we reinforce and bless the love shared in our family relationships.
But my greatest prayer is that people will not base their security on anything except the powerful, transforming, victorious love of Christ. That love -- and that love alone--is the ground of our hope.
I am grateful for my wonderful family. I am grateful for the church and for worship and for friendships. I am grateful for today's beautiful weather and I am oh, so grateful for my children and precious grandchildren. But had I only been able to spend Easter by myself or in the company of those I did not know, Easter would still be a day of unspeakable joy, reassurance and power. Easter is happy because of Jesus. Everything--and everyone-- else is an added blessing to Jesus Christ, the solid rock and anchor of LIFE.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
So excited!!
Today -- hopefully--worship services across the Christian faith will be filled with jubilation as we begin the most sacred week in the life of a Christian. What the waving palms and children's choirs may not convey is what a sad day Palm Sunday is--a tribute to how superficial our enthusiasm can be. What was the expression on Jesus' face when he rode that donkey into Jerusalem knowing full well that he was not going to be the Messiah they were excited about? People get very excited about what they need and who can give it to them. All through the last few weeks, I have been meeting with church groups telling me what they need. I try to bring to those consultations an open mind and an attentive heart. And these conversations of a district superintendent are not confined to appointment season. My first calls that a pastor had to be moved came my first year just three weeks after Annual Conference--just days after all good Methodists had made their annual move! People aren't waving palm branches in our consultations, but they are often pretty set on what they need in a preacher. And what they are asking for is very often not what they need to build a future for their church. People get very excited about what they need. I have no trouble picturing the enthusiasm of the crows on Palm Sunday. You can listen through any medium on the culture and hear the same insistent language about what people need. The problem is not that people don't speak up for what they need. (Our airwaves are certainly a testimony to that.) The problem is that people don't know what they truly need. The needs that people waved palms over were real needs--but not their deep need. They were waving palms for an end to Roman rule over their country. Jesus was coming to Jerusalem to save their souls for eternity. If Jesus had acquiesced to their shouts of hosanna, I have no doubt that He had the power to overturn the Roman rule. But, had He gone for the real-but-very-short-term cry of their hearts, we would not be celebrating Palm Sunday. Some of us who are history buffs might have noted that Jesus of Nazareth rode into Jerusalem on a donkey as the beginning of the overthrow of the Roman rule in the first century. But, if the cries of the people led to the action of God, Palm Sunday would only be a historical footnote. God took the longer look. Today, the church and the culture is still looking for saviours--politicians, preachers, philosophies--that will solve their problems. Palm Sunday is a chance for us to examine the cries of our hearts and the symbols we raise. What do we give our excitement to? Do we lift our voices for the short term relief as we define it or do we offer our needs to God for his always-broad-scope redemptive action? I pray that our Palm Sunday worship services are uplifting and exuberant. I also pray that Palm Sunday is a time for us to examine what we clamor for in light of God's redemptive desires for the world.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Silly ladies
My heart is too full for words. After four days with clergywomen from across the Southeast -- celebrating milestones, walking through the painful early steps and acknowledging the challenges yet ahead-- flooded my heart with memories, hope and determination. One lunch meeting stood above all the high moments. In the course of meeting with sisters across conferences, I learned that a dear friend in the North Georgia Conference -- a daughter in ministry--had been brutally attacked on February 26. By any measure, she is a treasure--a ball of life and a heart as big as the world. She is a walking John 3:16 -- meeting people where they are, welcoming people of all nations and races with the overflowing love of Christ. Hearing the news that she had been attacked was incomprehensible to me. Sisters from yet another conference where we had all known each other arranged the lunch. Our precious friend shared about the attack and its gory details. She shared how help had come and how people across her city had reached out to her. She was realistic about her injuries but kept coming back to the way God had held her in a deep cocoon of peace. The best gift of all was that she was still herself in outlook and attitude and faith. Yes, she is recovering from one of life's most traumatic events. But she was feeling closer than ever to the love of God. I started and ended our lunch in tears that I could not hold back. But, as we were finishing, a young mother with a little boy about 2 years old stopped at our table. The young mother said, "He was fascinated by you because of your laughter. He looked up at me and said, 'Silly ladies!' I looked into that child's eyes and his mother's sweet heart and thought, "Dear friends, if you had any idea of the gruesome nature that was the core of this conversation, you wouldn't think about laughter. You don't seem to realize that you are talking to someone who has been headline news in your city for a horrible crime that was committed against her." And then I smiled at the gift of perspective we had been given. That little boy overheard the nature of our conversation. Obviously, his mother didn't hear any of the content. The content of our conversation would have frightened her. She heard the love -- love for each other based on a long history, the love of God, the gratitude in the midst of tragedy that my beloved friend repeatedly lifted up angle by angle. I was humble to the core of my soul that this amazing friend of mine....this beautiful daughter and servant of God had walked through this crushing experience with God so closely that others observed our sharing as joyful. "Count it nothing but joy" says the writer of James, "when you face trials of any kind...."(James 1:2) This has never been the easiest Bible verse to live. But I have seen a living witness to that joy beyond life's worst. I sat next to her on a booth over lunch this week. I saw first hand a living resurrection. And I will never be the same.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
More Grace, Less Griping
I do not remember exactly the first time I met Grace Blanton, but I took an instant liking to her. Passionate about her faith, opinionated in every other subject and not afraid to say so, I loved her honesty, her confidence, her fearlessness and her giving spirit. Her take-no-prisoners bluntness is balanced by her compassionate heart...and her lay-it-on-the-line observations are always refreshing to the superficial politeness that characterizes too much of church conversation.
I could never thank her enough for all the kind -- often attempted anonymous--good deeds she did for me. While I was her pastor, I couldn't help but be attracted to her colorful personality. So I was surprised when, one day, Grace said, "You shouldn't be spending your time visiting me." Looking straight at me, she said, "I'm already saved. You should be spending your time with people who don't know Jesus." Never thinking about herself -- however discouraging her situation--she was always pointing me to someone who would "really" need me.
I have never asked Grace her age. I guess her children know. But she is just not the kind of person you ask that question to. But she had been a member of the church for decades and was a member of one of the Sunday School class with my most senior members. When she chastized me, she was well into the category affectionately known as senior.
Grace in so many ways is the exception -- but, in my opinion, should be the MODEL for church members who are in the 55+ category. Since I'm in that category myself, I'm partial to this group of the faithful. And my highest hopes -- and expectations--are that this is the group that should model the greatest maturity, the greatest selflessness, the greatest vision and commitment to Christ and the church. My hopes are based on the important -- and very Methodist--premise that the longer we walk with Jesus, the more our lives should reflect Jesus. Those who have committed their lives to Christ decades ago should be the best forgivers, the kindest, the most loving of all Christians.
In reality, I am sad to say that most of my age group of church members don't show the selflessness Grace lived to me. Too many times, the people who have loved the church the longest are the loudest voices against change. When it is brought to the attention of people that the church needs to focus on young people (who are missing), too often, it's the members of my group -- those who have loved the church the longest--who immediately respond by saying: "But what about US?" Over and over again, when I ask PPRCs about the priorities for their pastor, even when the church desperately needs evangelism and outreach and programming for youth and young adults, PPRC members (many of them seniors themselves) say the priority is to visit the seniors.
They need a dose of Grace. And what great things could God work in the church if there was more Grace and less self-absorption and entitlement.
I am often discouraged -- but I not going to stop hoping or praying for seniors to be the most unselfish, Christlike members of all. Those of us who have loved the church and walked with Christ the longest should be leading the way in unselfishness and love for others.
I could never thank her enough for all the kind -- often attempted anonymous--good deeds she did for me. While I was her pastor, I couldn't help but be attracted to her colorful personality. So I was surprised when, one day, Grace said, "You shouldn't be spending your time visiting me." Looking straight at me, she said, "I'm already saved. You should be spending your time with people who don't know Jesus." Never thinking about herself -- however discouraging her situation--she was always pointing me to someone who would "really" need me.
I have never asked Grace her age. I guess her children know. But she is just not the kind of person you ask that question to. But she had been a member of the church for decades and was a member of one of the Sunday School class with my most senior members. When she chastized me, she was well into the category affectionately known as senior.
Grace in so many ways is the exception -- but, in my opinion, should be the MODEL for church members who are in the 55+ category. Since I'm in that category myself, I'm partial to this group of the faithful. And my highest hopes -- and expectations--are that this is the group that should model the greatest maturity, the greatest selflessness, the greatest vision and commitment to Christ and the church. My hopes are based on the important -- and very Methodist--premise that the longer we walk with Jesus, the more our lives should reflect Jesus. Those who have committed their lives to Christ decades ago should be the best forgivers, the kindest, the most loving of all Christians.
In reality, I am sad to say that most of my age group of church members don't show the selflessness Grace lived to me. Too many times, the people who have loved the church the longest are the loudest voices against change. When it is brought to the attention of people that the church needs to focus on young people (who are missing), too often, it's the members of my group -- those who have loved the church the longest--who immediately respond by saying: "But what about US?" Over and over again, when I ask PPRCs about the priorities for their pastor, even when the church desperately needs evangelism and outreach and programming for youth and young adults, PPRC members (many of them seniors themselves) say the priority is to visit the seniors.
They need a dose of Grace. And what great things could God work in the church if there was more Grace and less self-absorption and entitlement.
I am often discouraged -- but I not going to stop hoping or praying for seniors to be the most unselfish, Christlike members of all. Those of us who have loved the church and walked with Christ the longest should be leading the way in unselfishness and love for others.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
It's that time of year...
Here we are again.
The United Methodist appointment season -- a time of hopes and apprehensions!
How appropriate that most of our appointment-making is done in the season of Lent -- the season when we focus on the sacrificial nature of Christian discipleship.
Announcements of the pastoral appointments for 2011-2012 conference year will be made in each church on Sunday, May 1. From now until then, United Methodists should be lifting up the appointment process in prayer.
There are some United Methodist people who mistakenly think that this annual appointment-making doesn't affect them or their church. Every United Methodist Church is part of the appointment process whether there is a pastoral change or not. This is one of our great gifts to our churches and pastors. This annual review/reassignment process helps churches keep their proper center on Christ -- not the pastor. Churches that are built around the personality of the pastor are not focused in the right place. Pastors are members of the Annual Conference and the cabinet has responsibility to look out for the mission of the church across the conference.
There are things people can STOP doing that can help this unsettling time:
1. STOP pestering your PPRC members to tell you about your appointment this year. PPR members are the liasons of your church with the appointment-making process. They are honor-bound to not tell you about the projected appointment for your church until after the reconsideration round of appointments (which is the last week of April). We ask them to keep confidence with the process so that, when the announcement is made, all due consideration has been made and you can trust that the person announced for your church will be the person coming. The goal here is a holy one: to keep people on track with Christian discipleship (not running around with all kinds of rumors) as they prepare their hearts for Easter.
2. STOP thinking that a preacher is the answer to your congregation's problems. Sometimes, moving the preacher is not the answer...moving the preacher may only keep your congregational problems in place for yet another minister to have to face. Congregations need to practice the Christian faith in their life together: speaking the truth in love, showing kindness and forgiveness and love for all. Living the Christian faith is the vocation of lay disciples in the church. No preacher takes the place of lay people doing the right thing for Christ and His church.
3. STOP the idea that a young preacher is exactly what your church needs.
Time after time, PPR committees ask for a young pastor. They usually ALSO want one who is wise and experienced because of the situations in their church. Friends, we don't have 32 year old pastors with 20 years of pastoral experience! Only 7% of the clergy in our conference are between the ages of 24 and 35. If churches currently have one of those young clergy, they should be grateful. They should cherish, encourage and support that young clergyperson. The average age of clergy in the conference is 55. And before people go around talking about how old that is, remember that the average age of our CLERGY is 2 years YOUNGER than the average age of our United Methodist PEOPLE (57).
The other consideration churches need to make is the climate in their own congregation. What kind of situation would this desired young pastor come into in your church? I've had churches clamor for a young pastor where, with the ugly interactions between members, there is NO WAY I would send a young pastor into such a hurtful mess. If you want a young clergy, you should work toward your congregation being a place where a young clergy would be encouraged and strengthened and ministry.
4. STOP looking for a family package with your preacher. The cabinet appoints the pastors. Whether they are single or married, with children in the home or not, husband/wife active in the church or not, churches nee to start receiving pastors for who they are. My mother was the true ideal preacher's wife -- an active participant in the life of all the churches my father served and a blessing to everyone. So I fully appreciate how wonderful it is for a church to have a "pastor's wife" who is actively involved in the church. But the model of my mother is the exception these days. You are getting -- and we are appointing--a pastor. You may -- or may not--get the preacher with the wife who sings in the choir, plays the piano and has two children who are always well-behaved. Our preachers have to take the congregations we give them. Our congregations need to do the same.
5. Please STOP believing that you/your church is entitled to whatever you ask for. Oh, so many times, what churches WANT and what churches NEED are two entirely different things! Over and over, churches want to stay the same when they need to grow. They want to grow only if it means they don't have to change anything. They want the preacher to do the ministry and make everything all right. The cabinet only serves the churches well by looking at the ministry needs of the church. That may--or may not--match up with the comfort zone of either the pastor or the church. In these days of a drastically changed culture, if we don't challenge the comfort wishes of many of our churches, those churches will not exist in 10 years. The goal of appointment making is to provide pastoral leadership to our churches for kingdom-building.
6. STOP thinking that you can get your way in the appointment process by boycotting the church or withholding giving. Anyone who stops coming to a church to make a point about the pastoral appointment was not coming to the church for the right reason to begin with. We come to church to worship God, not the preacher. And the same is true about money. Anyone who withholds tithes to God because they are mad at the preacher is not giving with a right heart. We don't give money to the church to buy influence. We give to God to show our thanks for His blessings, to learn to trust His provisions and to support the sharing of His love around the world.
United Methodists have all kinds of open, appropriate channels to deal with legitimate concerns. Boycotting and clackmail are not going to do anything but show how spiritually immature people are. The cabinet is not going to make decisions based on people who are behaving in divisive, destructive ways. Anyone who want to have influence should be the most constructive, Christ-like person possible -- people who are living out the membership vows of faithfully supporting the church and strengthening its ministries. That's how to get influence.
People who are actively boycotting the church (with presence or their money) must not realize that actions like that only make it less likely that their pastor will move. How will the cabinet help a church if we reward bad behavior? And, by the way, who would we send? What preacher would want to come into a situation where members have a reputation for tearing down the preacher and each other?
Here is what people can START:
1. START praying! Pray for United Methodist PPRCs. Pray for United Methodist pastors. Pray for UMC congregations. Pray for your District Superintendent daily, by name, and pray for all the superintendents and the bishop.
2. START living the most holy, dedicated Christian life you can live. Anyone who wants to have influence, this is the way to get it.
3. START speaking up--with grace and love -- to make our congregations the best possible place to serve and our witness for Christ the most effective it can be.
4. START praying for God to open your heart to your pastor--whoever that may be--in new ways. Whether your preacher stays or moves, God is looking for United Methodist Christians to be open to being suprised at how God is going to be at work in the days ahead. We never know the good that God can unfold in the open hearts of His people. And if, on May 1, the announcement of the pastoral appointments doesn't suit your idea of what should have happened, pray that God will be at work in a mighty way beyond what we can see -- beginning with our own hearts.
Oh, the good that God longs to do in the hearts of people in our churches and communities! May the appointment process be focused on that kingdom building which will strengthen our witness for Christ.
The United Methodist appointment season -- a time of hopes and apprehensions!
How appropriate that most of our appointment-making is done in the season of Lent -- the season when we focus on the sacrificial nature of Christian discipleship.
Announcements of the pastoral appointments for 2011-2012 conference year will be made in each church on Sunday, May 1. From now until then, United Methodists should be lifting up the appointment process in prayer.
There are some United Methodist people who mistakenly think that this annual appointment-making doesn't affect them or their church. Every United Methodist Church is part of the appointment process whether there is a pastoral change or not. This is one of our great gifts to our churches and pastors. This annual review/reassignment process helps churches keep their proper center on Christ -- not the pastor. Churches that are built around the personality of the pastor are not focused in the right place. Pastors are members of the Annual Conference and the cabinet has responsibility to look out for the mission of the church across the conference.
There are things people can STOP doing that can help this unsettling time:
1. STOP pestering your PPRC members to tell you about your appointment this year. PPR members are the liasons of your church with the appointment-making process. They are honor-bound to not tell you about the projected appointment for your church until after the reconsideration round of appointments (which is the last week of April). We ask them to keep confidence with the process so that, when the announcement is made, all due consideration has been made and you can trust that the person announced for your church will be the person coming. The goal here is a holy one: to keep people on track with Christian discipleship (not running around with all kinds of rumors) as they prepare their hearts for Easter.
2. STOP thinking that a preacher is the answer to your congregation's problems. Sometimes, moving the preacher is not the answer...moving the preacher may only keep your congregational problems in place for yet another minister to have to face. Congregations need to practice the Christian faith in their life together: speaking the truth in love, showing kindness and forgiveness and love for all. Living the Christian faith is the vocation of lay disciples in the church. No preacher takes the place of lay people doing the right thing for Christ and His church.
3. STOP the idea that a young preacher is exactly what your church needs.
Time after time, PPR committees ask for a young pastor. They usually ALSO want one who is wise and experienced because of the situations in their church. Friends, we don't have 32 year old pastors with 20 years of pastoral experience! Only 7% of the clergy in our conference are between the ages of 24 and 35. If churches currently have one of those young clergy, they should be grateful. They should cherish, encourage and support that young clergyperson. The average age of clergy in the conference is 55. And before people go around talking about how old that is, remember that the average age of our CLERGY is 2 years YOUNGER than the average age of our United Methodist PEOPLE (57).
The other consideration churches need to make is the climate in their own congregation. What kind of situation would this desired young pastor come into in your church? I've had churches clamor for a young pastor where, with the ugly interactions between members, there is NO WAY I would send a young pastor into such a hurtful mess. If you want a young clergy, you should work toward your congregation being a place where a young clergy would be encouraged and strengthened and ministry.
4. STOP looking for a family package with your preacher. The cabinet appoints the pastors. Whether they are single or married, with children in the home or not, husband/wife active in the church or not, churches nee to start receiving pastors for who they are. My mother was the true ideal preacher's wife -- an active participant in the life of all the churches my father served and a blessing to everyone. So I fully appreciate how wonderful it is for a church to have a "pastor's wife" who is actively involved in the church. But the model of my mother is the exception these days. You are getting -- and we are appointing--a pastor. You may -- or may not--get the preacher with the wife who sings in the choir, plays the piano and has two children who are always well-behaved. Our preachers have to take the congregations we give them. Our congregations need to do the same.
5. Please STOP believing that you/your church is entitled to whatever you ask for. Oh, so many times, what churches WANT and what churches NEED are two entirely different things! Over and over, churches want to stay the same when they need to grow. They want to grow only if it means they don't have to change anything. They want the preacher to do the ministry and make everything all right. The cabinet only serves the churches well by looking at the ministry needs of the church. That may--or may not--match up with the comfort zone of either the pastor or the church. In these days of a drastically changed culture, if we don't challenge the comfort wishes of many of our churches, those churches will not exist in 10 years. The goal of appointment making is to provide pastoral leadership to our churches for kingdom-building.
6. STOP thinking that you can get your way in the appointment process by boycotting the church or withholding giving. Anyone who stops coming to a church to make a point about the pastoral appointment was not coming to the church for the right reason to begin with. We come to church to worship God, not the preacher. And the same is true about money. Anyone who withholds tithes to God because they are mad at the preacher is not giving with a right heart. We don't give money to the church to buy influence. We give to God to show our thanks for His blessings, to learn to trust His provisions and to support the sharing of His love around the world.
United Methodists have all kinds of open, appropriate channels to deal with legitimate concerns. Boycotting and clackmail are not going to do anything but show how spiritually immature people are. The cabinet is not going to make decisions based on people who are behaving in divisive, destructive ways. Anyone who want to have influence should be the most constructive, Christ-like person possible -- people who are living out the membership vows of faithfully supporting the church and strengthening its ministries. That's how to get influence.
People who are actively boycotting the church (with presence or their money) must not realize that actions like that only make it less likely that their pastor will move. How will the cabinet help a church if we reward bad behavior? And, by the way, who would we send? What preacher would want to come into a situation where members have a reputation for tearing down the preacher and each other?
Here is what people can START:
1. START praying! Pray for United Methodist PPRCs. Pray for United Methodist pastors. Pray for UMC congregations. Pray for your District Superintendent daily, by name, and pray for all the superintendents and the bishop.
2. START living the most holy, dedicated Christian life you can live. Anyone who wants to have influence, this is the way to get it.
3. START speaking up--with grace and love -- to make our congregations the best possible place to serve and our witness for Christ the most effective it can be.
4. START praying for God to open your heart to your pastor--whoever that may be--in new ways. Whether your preacher stays or moves, God is looking for United Methodist Christians to be open to being suprised at how God is going to be at work in the days ahead. We never know the good that God can unfold in the open hearts of His people. And if, on May 1, the announcement of the pastoral appointments doesn't suit your idea of what should have happened, pray that God will be at work in a mighty way beyond what we can see -- beginning with our own hearts.
Oh, the good that God longs to do in the hearts of people in our churches and communities! May the appointment process be focused on that kingdom building which will strengthen our witness for Christ.
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