The effect of hard times...

I'm still searching in the Bible for the life-truth that my daughters and I often quote from one of our favorite movies, Steel Magnolias: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." That's just too true to not be included in the Scripture.
I am certain that the effect of hard times is one of the most clarifying signs of Christian character. Going through a crisis can be just the experience that opens your heart to others in difficult circumstances. Going through a hard time can also be just the experience that makes you more insecure, afraid and cold to the suffering of others.
Though we rarely choose the tragedies that invade our lives, we always choose our response. We may not have chosen the economic downturn, the job loss, the cancer diagnosis, the broken marriage, the premature death of a loved one. But in every instance, we choose its affect on us.
I have seen both sides of this. Sometimes, the tragic death of a loved one turns people into the very best Stephen ministers, friends and compassionate church members. Hardship can make a heart more open to the suffering of others, more tender to the struggles and griefs that others carry.
Hardship can also create a hardened shell around a heart. Have you noticed that sometimes people who went through a hard time carry that struggle like a badge of honor and don't blink when others suffer? "I went through it; it won't hurt them." A classic example of that is the doctors who trained under "old school" regimens of inhumane numbers of hours on call as interns and residents--80, sometimes over 100 hours per week on call. Now, with new guidelines surfacing to limit the number of hours that interns and residents can be on call to a more reasonable 60 hours a week, sometimes it is old school physicians who raise the loudest objections. Seems to me they would be the most sympathetic and glad for something to change for the good of others (both doctors AND patients)
I see the same dynamic surfacing in conversations about salaries. "Well," one layperson said to me, "I didn't get a salary raise this year. So I don't think the preacher should get a raise either." As the conversation went on, it was clear that not getting a salary raise had really hurt the layperson. So wouldn't it make more Christian love sense for the layperson to say, "I know how much it hurts to not get a raise. I want something better for my preacher..." (or my daughter, or my neighbor). Is this a "misery loves company" response?
I came into the ministry during the very early days of female clergy. I don't date back to John Wesley, but I came in less than 20 years after the full ordination of women was approved (in 1956). I had a hard time. I qualified for elder's ordination under 4 different Disciplines. And that was just the beginning of the obstacles, the ridicule and the opposition that I went through. But, I put those hard experiences to work to make me an avid advocate of a better church for my daughters and their daughters. It would never occur to me to say, "Well, I had it hard, so it's just fine if they experience prejudice and opposition."
Hardship -- in whatever form--is painful. But hardship is downright tragic if it hardens instead of opens a heart.

The Jesus Test

I am very glad for people to send emails to me. Really, I am.
Over 700 people across my district have signed up for my emails, so I get the privilege of sending out emails to lots of people I wouldn't otherwise have a chance to communicate with. I feel it is only right to welcome emails that people send to me. The communication highway, at its best, runs both ways.
I got one this week that was full of beautiful -- actually, stunning--pictures of the life of Christ. They were so striking that I printed them out to put in my Bible.
When I was looking over the printout, I noticed there was a "tag" at the end of the pictures. The tag said that Jesus "is the only one that can save this country and they want Him removed from the government. Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our govenment as the atheists want." Then there was the closing request: "The Jesus Test: 'Jesus said, if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.' This is the simplest test. If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things He has done for you, send this email to a lot of people."
Oh dear.
I would gladly have passed on the beautiful scenes of the life of Christ. But it broke my heart that people could reverently review the scenes of the life of Christ and then think that the "Jesus Test" would be to send an email defying the atheists.
That would be understandable, I guess, except that the teachings of Jesus are so clear about what a true Jesus test is. Jesus was absolutely, penetratingly clear: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." (John 15:12) That is the Jesus test. That -- and nothing else. And how did Jesus love us:? Graceful acceptance, patient guidance, constant forgiveness, sacrificial loving.
The teaching of Jesus makes clear what the Jesus test is: love for others. Since Jesus was very explicit in teaching and example about loving his enemies, it would seem to me that the Jesus test would be how faithfully Christians love atheists. So, to my way of thinking, you could send a thousand emails and still fail the true Jesus test. Wouldn't the real Jesus test be to find an atheist and do something kind?
I still love the scenes of Christ that came with the email. So odd to me that people could look through them, recall the life of Christ and then get side-tracked about Christ's clear intention for his followers.
How many times do we look at pictures of Christ and, by forgetting Christ's teaching and example, miss the true picture?

One simple phrase = One huge difference

One simple phrase. That's all I ask. Just follow one simple phrase:

ASK before you ACCUSE

What a world of difference that alone would make!

I got an email this week from someone who was blasting the conference and the bishop and the church. The email didn't attack me by name. But trust me, I was included on the receiving end of the tirade. To read the concerns of this person, you couldn't help but draw the conclusion that people in leadership were insensitive, unbelievably stupid and careless in their decisions. Whoa.

I will be the first one to say there are concerns about the church. And I will be foremost among those who defend the right of people to speak freely. And more than that, I further believe in encouraging people to speak freely and have spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how to incorporate that principle into this new position of ministry.

But could people just ASK before they rattle off a litany of ACCUSATIONS?

If the writer had framed the attacks as questions, the author could have learned that the concerns of heart were shared concerns; that action had already been taken to make things better/different/right; that the people being attacked have a great concern for/heart for the struggles people have. But, instead of lifting up concerns as questions or inquiries, the concerns were attacks that led to all kinds of accusations and far-fetched assumptions.

I'm going to have to learn to receive these better. I can count to ten and not respond in kind. I have learned how to write, re-write, pray and re-write some more. I have learned to forgive and, as I have been recently surprised, I have learned that people sometimes apologize. Maybe politicians learn to disregard the constant barbs, but I am not the only pastor that finds that very difficult to do. Attacking words hurt. And even if an apology comes later, it hurts to pour energy,heart and soul into building up people and the church and then to be lambasted for all kinds of things that really don't apply.

Couldn't people learn to ASK before they ACCUSE? That one guideline would save everyone a lot of unnecessary negative emotion, heartache and hurt feelings.

Keep communicating. But everyone would be better off if people could learn to ASK before they ACCUSE.

Take the deeper look

Don't be deceived by the swirl of news. What happened to Shirley Sherrod in our nation this week is deeper than race. I do not minimize the racial component and I pray that I never under estimate the damage that racial prejudice does in this world.
At the same time, I see this same dynamic at work in the church and in the world all the time when there is no racial component. Here's how it goes:
1. Somebody has an agenda/a point to make. They don't care how they make it or who gets hurt in the process. In fact, the way they go about making their point is designed to hurt someone -- often someone innocent.
Those with an agenda are so caught up in their hurt feelings, their cause that they willing to violate every basic constraint of honesty, common respect and integrity. That's step #1.

2. Step #2 is gullibility. People are so gullible that they will believe anything. News/sensation-saturated people will believe a lie in a heartbeat.

3. Step #3 is fear. Constant criticism takes a toll on even the best leaders in the church, in the nation and in the world. Keeping perspective is a constant challenge and a climate of constant criticism eats away at the core of people. At a certain point, they react instead of act. And a reaction is almost always misguided.

That's what happened in the case of Shirley Sherrod. Someone had an agenda. They carefully, deliberately crafted and distributed a video clip that was designed to distort and deceive. Christians of ALL political persuasions should rise up and say that this was wrong. And then, instead of calling out the malicious slandering for what it was, people believed it without getting the whole story. The rush to judgment -- made on all sides--was like a stampede of stupidity. Caution and careful thinking evaporated. And, fear only complicated and deepened the sins that were being committed in this situation to an innocent person.

Lest anyone think that this dynamic is something to criticize in any one political administration, let me say that I see this same dynamic regularly in churches. Someone has an agenda. It is often hurt feelings, a power dynamic or a personal grudge. They have a point to make and, by golly, they are going to be heard. They forget completely about the Golden Rule, the teachings of Christian faith and they go after an audience. (Often it is the District Superintendent! :) ) The fundamental dishonesty of people hell bent on making a point is mind-boggling. And yes, I am talking about people in church. There's a reason the Bible cautions over and over against dishonesty, gossip and slander.

The gullibility of people is also astonishing. People will believe anything. I don't have an explanation for it. This defies rational definition. Time after time, as a pastor and as a District Superintendent, I have had people come to me with tales that, without any research, I know are not true. Once a salacious rumor starts, it's like people throw every teaching of sober judgment out the window. Amazing. There's a reason that much of Scripture is devoted to guiding people to be thoughtful, careful and wise in decision-making.

And then, there is the fear -- fear of what others will think, fear of being attacked, fear of what malicious people will do. Only God knows how many people have compromised their witness and how much faithful ministry has been destroyed because of this fear. There's a reason the Bible teaches over and over "Do not be afraid". Fear leads to sin and very poor decisions.

When people have an axe to grind, hurt feelings to express, a point to make, people ought to say: STOP. Don't do the wrong thing for the wrong reason. When people attack others with lies and innuendo, people ought to say: STOP. Think about it. Get the whole story. When people are afraid, people ought to say: STOP! Fear is an almost certain sign that another mistake is about to be made. Make decisions from faith, not fear.

The cycle we are witnessing on the news is a parable I see played out in churches all the time. I watch it and weep. I watch it and pray that we will learn to rise above it in this horribly antagonistic, contentious world.

I think this is progress...

Let me be clear: no one from the Obama administration or the NAACP or Tea Party or conservative commentators have called to ask my opinion. (I have that problem a lot). I think I could help people if they would just call and ask my opinion before they make statements or take action. The situation of the accusations/firing of Shirley Sherrod is one I am pretty sure I could have helped.
The pressures and immediate reactions of our culture are traits that lead directly to false accusations and shallow thinking. My parents told me to think before I speak. Now people make a name for themselves -- and many make a living--by speaking before they think. My parents taught me to get the whole story before making a judgment. Now people make headlines and often financial profit from taking a slice of a story and deliberately distorting it. My debate coach taught me to make my best presentation with the facts but never falsify the facts. And now, people regularly falsify the facts without blinking. And, most importantly, my Christian faith taught me to do unto others what I would want others to do unto me...and to love others the way Jesus loved. Every day the media blasts -- and some specialize in--doing exactly the opposite. The worst of it all, in my opinion, is that some of those people who behave in overtly unchristian practices like to claim the name Christian.
At the same time, I have to savor some delight in hearing the vehement denials of Tea Party people that they are racist. As messy as this incident is, I can't help but see that as progress. 25 years ago in Mississippi, my experience with people who shared the same political anti-big-government philosophy of the Tea Party members was that they were racist and proud of it. Claiming to be a racist was a badge of honor--not only a common way of living in the world, but a proud, patriotic way to be citizens of this country. I am horrified that there are still elements of that philosophy -- people who openly, defiantly, unapologetically claim that they are white supremacists. But one interesting thing that this current flap points out is that even very politically conservative people in this country seem now to understand that being racially prejudiced violates the core values of our country. That's a big shift.
I still see a lot in our nation that tells me that racism is still eating away at our character and working its destructiveness in our society. But if we have come to a common, acknowledged recognition that racism is wrong, we have taken an essential step that---- just in my lifetime --is a giant step forward and something to build on.

Loving the questions

Oh, how I miss the theological exchanges that come in the course of pastoral ministry!
While I was raise in a church that valued the ANSWERS, I have grown to value the place of QUESTIONS and making room for questions.
This week, I called into a doctor's office with questions about an upcoming procedure. The receptionist said, "I'll have the nurse call back with the answer." To which I replied, "But you don't know my question!" The church of my life has often been like that -- giving an answer before knowing the question. Sometimes, it's the questions that make us grow most.
I've been thinking all week about a heartfelt and sincere question that was asked to my father by a young adult who has a very bright theological mind. The context was following a funeral of a wonderfully committed, devout Christian father, grandfather, great-grandfather. The funeral service included The Apostle's Creed...which led to my friend's question: "I've always wondered why the Creed jumps immediately from the birth of Jesus to his suffering and death, leaving out his life." I had to say it again to myself, kind of like I sing the songs with the disciples' names or the alphabet song to get the order right. But right there were the familiar words that made his question jump out: "born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried." I've repeated that creed thousands of times.
Now, because of the thoughtful question, I found myself asking the same thing: What about the LIFE of Jesus? What about the TEACHING of Jesus? What about the EXAMPLE of Jesus? Where is our affirmation of THAT?"
My view of the church from this post led to the immediate observation that, basically, church folks celebrate Christmas, sometimes remember the Passion, celebrate Easter and live as though the life, teaching and example of Jesus didn't mean a thing. Too many people's lives seem to indicate that the birth and death/resurrection are Sunday celebrations and everything in between is neglible. Just skip over the example of Jesus' love of sinners and forgiveness for all. Just ignore Jesus' clear warnings about the spiritual seduction of riches. By all means, don't get serious about loving others the way Jesus loved us. To hear some people talk -- people who quickly label themselves as Christians--care for the poor and welcome to the stranger are anti-Christian strategies to appeal to political correctness.
I doubt that a movement to enlarge the Apostles Creed would gain much traction. But maybe we could learn to remember that when we affirm the birth, suffering, death and resurrection of Christ that those are the bookends to a life that each of us are called to emulate. Thanks, dear friend, for the question. I, for one, will never say the Apostles Creed again without thinking about the life of Christ. We make our affirmation of the life of Christ in the way we live.

Dreaming of a Christian Nation

The birthday of our nation -- like the birthday of a life--is the time to remember the wonder and the dreams and the ideals of purpose. A few weeks ago, a letter to the editor in the Statesville Record and Landmark was slamming President Obama for just about every problem in the nation. The writer closed the letter by saying, "And, by the way, Mr. President, this is still a Christian nation."
Since reading that, I have been thinking about what that phrase might mean: "A Christian nation". This is what I am sure about:
A Christian nation would be a nation that followed the life, teaching and example of Christ. Christian = Christlike. And when I look at the life, teaching an example, these are the characteristics that I would say reflect Christ:
A welcome to all. You can't look at the life of Christ and miss his open heart to everyone: fishermen, tax collectors, zealots, women, lepers, demon-possessed, Roman centurians, Sanhedrin members... Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) has an open heart and love for all.
Perspective on wealth. While it is true that Jesus taught more about money than any other subject, his teaching was all geared to help people detach from money; to recongize that true security doesn't come from money; to warn about the seduction of money. Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) would trust in Christ for security and keep wealth in perspective.
Love for all--including all enemies-- and forgiveness for all those who do us wrong. God's love shown in Jesus was uncompromising good will and forgiveness for everyone. Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) would love their enemies as well as their friends and extend forgiveness to all who wrong them.
Concern for the poor. Jesus' New Commandment in John 15 becomes the high standard of Christian life: love one another the way Jesus loved us. He unfailingly taught that concern for the poor was inescapably linked with pleasing God. Jesus plainly taught that helping the least, the hungry, the thirsty, the naked, the imprisoned were acts serving Christ himself. Any one (person or nation) who is Christian (Christ-like) would be devoted to concern and care for the poor.
A predisposition of grace. Jesus was graceful and extended grace to very human, fallible disciples. With the exception of the religious caught up in self-righteousness, Jesus didn't spend his time condemning others. He extended mercy, grace and second-chances. Any one (person or nation) who is Christian (Christ-like) would be graceful and merciful.
When I think about what it means to be a Christian, I have to disagree with the writer of the Letter to the Editor. We may have Christian roots, but across the country, we are not acting like Christians. Hostility to strangers, absorption with money as a source of entitlement and happiness, expressed hostility in every area of our national life, a disdain for the poor and resentment toward help for the poor, constant criticism, attacks and unforgiving spirits: there's no way the United States I observes qualifies as a Christian nation. Jesus said, "You are my friends if you do what I command you." (John 15:14)
I love this nation. I celebrate and revel in the freedoms we enjoy. It is my prayer today that we would rearrange our practices to reflect our ideals and become a nation that is Christ-like.