What a year!

This new way of ministry is exactly one year old now.
Last year, when I woke up on February 21, I had tossed and turned all night.
I had been called for a meeting with the bishop at 11:00 February 20. It was a "tell-absolutely-no-one; come-in-by-the-side-entrance" meeting. I wasn't sure why all the hush-hush. This was, I thought, the meeting my DS and I had requested for me to talk about moving or staying at Hawthorne Lane at the church's growth point. I knew that the Bishop's office and my Superintendent's office were working to coordinate a date. I thought the hush-hush was because Bishop McCleskey was making an usual step to meet with a pastor about an appointment. In a conference this size, bishops can't be available to pastors for appointment concerns. I had my speech all ready.
And I never got to make it.
I didn't have long to figure out this wasn't the consultation about Hawthorne Lane that I had expected. As soon as I walked in, I saw that my District Superintendent was not there. So I had about ten seconds to realize this meeting was not what I had thought. Oh dear.
The phone call setting up the meeting had, in fact, included the "don't-worry-you-are-not-in-trouble" reassurance. To tell the truth, I hadn't even thought about being in trouble. One of the great values of the fishbowl life of ministry and an advantage of having critics watching for things to use against you is the joy of living a clean life. (I know that leading a clean life doesn't stop people from criticizing, but I was always determined that I would not give them ammunition). A clear conscience is a good thing to have.
From the ten second realization that this was not the meeting I was expecting, Bishop McCleskey didn't take long to get to the point. I wasn't coming to a consultation. I was coming to an announcement. He was appointing me to serve on the cabinet - Statesville District. "You look surprised," he said. "Oh, yes sir. I am"
I loved pastoral ministry with all my heart. I still believe that being a pastor is the highest calling one can have. And, while I have had many opinions regarding cabinets and appointments through the years, I had never thought of myself as cabinet material. I loved preaching. I loved pastoral work. I loved teaching and ordering the life of a church. I had never seen myself on the cabinet and certainly never aspired to it. I was not being asked if I preferred serving a church or an administrative role. I was not being asked if I wanted to do this. I was accepting the appointment of the bishop; living out my ordination pledge-- the baseline for every United Methodist pastor: to go where the bishop sends. I've gone to new appointments throughout my ministry -- but always to a church. Now I was going to a different way of ministry...a way that half-jokingly is usually referred to as leaving the ministry.
Thank goodness Bishop McCleskey handed me a piece of paper with the dates of the spring cabinet meetings which I would be expected to attend. That piece of paper was an important reality check for the next few days when I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. My mind was spinning.
My mind is still spinning.
This year has been a fast-moving whirlwind. Just weeks after the meeting with the Bishop, I and the other new superintendents began meeting with the cabinet as well as serving our churches and preparing for the transition. Then the summer brought buying a home, moving and a steady series of consecutive training events for the new position, and new responsibilities from the new conference structure and new quadrennium information also had to be learned. As soon as I got home from the training events, my malignant thyroid tumor was diagnosed. Leading up to the surgery, I did as many Charge Conferences and organization of the new district as possible. Then surgery, recovery, radioactive iodine treatment...Christmas and now, the most intense of all, appointment season.
I will be grateful when the first time for everything is over. The cabinet meeting this coming week is the last meeting before the new superintendents began observing. I want to always be open to learn new things -- but, oh my, what a slew of new things this has been!
The year has been, however, long enough to see God's hand at work in my heart and to also see clearly how dependent I am on a wisdom beyond my own. I can also see a level of need that I didn't realize before -- that so many people don't know or understand or appreciate our United Methodist way. This new position has opened a new world for my teacher/preacher/pastor heart. One year. Hard to believe. It feels like a lifetime of its own.