Dye-A-Blog

Getting on with the game

2012-02-01T09:12:00.002-05:00

My first grade grandson, Connor, plays basketball this year.
Basketball with 5 and 6 year olds is technically the same sport as ACC basketball. But the realities of the game are very different. Basketball for the starters goes pretty much like this: Get the ball. Dribble it across the line. Lose the ball to the other team and repeat going in the opposite direction. Occasionally there is a pass which is caught by a player on the same team. Less often -- but sometimes--there is an attempt at the basket. But mostly, it is dribble and lose the ball. My son-in-law is coaching Connor's team and Mark is just the right temperment -- patient, good-natured as well as having ideas that (when implemented) bring some success. Going to the game is a matter of support for the children--which is easy and fun to do.
At the last game, I saw an unusually interesting sight.
A girl who played on the other team got mad when her teammate didn't throw her the ball. So, when their team lost possession and ran back to the other end of the court, she stayed right under her basket--head down, arms crossed across her chest, scowl on her face, lip stuck out. What a sight she was! I would have taken a picture but didn't think that was appropriate...
I wanted to laugh -- but didn't know who her parents were and I was certain they were not laughing. There she was, planted under her basket while her team and her opposing team were playing at the other end.
Such a sight! Such a parable! I wanted to shout out to her, "Honey, you have to keep going. The game is going on without you! Get over it!"
So many times I have felt like that young girl! Mad about the way things happened and wanted everyone to know it. So many times I deal with church members like that young girl. They are mad about the way things happened, they want everyone to know it and they are not going to play--even if it puts their team at a disadvantage to pout.
How I wish we could learn to get over things and keep the mission of Christ moving! Doesn't it seem that the teaching and example of Jesus is more than enough motivation to keep us playing even when we are disappointed?
I'm sure this young player will learn better. Hope we all can.

A moment in time

2012-01-20T21:10:00.003-05:00

I love St. Simons Island...the United Methodist sister retreat center to Lake Junaluska...home of the history memorabilia about John Wesley's missionary time in Georgia (not his finest years, but a building block for the transformation that would burn into the Methodist movement). This is a place of beauty and serenity bathed in the deep roots of Methodism. This week, District Superintendents from across the jurisdiction gathered for worship, study and fellowship. Learning to be leaders in this changed culture requires a lot of stretching. And we have been stretched this week.

The closing worship was a window into the adjustments and changes the church must make to be true to its mission. Bishop Mary Virginia Taylor was preaching for the closing communion when, all of a sudden, we heard the roar of a leaf-blower. She politely continued and I thought, "Now, isn't this just like life -- the church needing to compete with distractions..."

The leader of our design team discreetly left our worship and, shortly after that, the buzz of the yard equipment was heard no more. I was relieved. Worship continued and we could actually hear what the Bishop was saying.

There is a part of me that understands that the work has to be done for upkeep of a beautiful place like St. Simons. And, in one way, I felt bad about the maintenance people having to re-arrange their work day so that we could have worship. On the other hand, places like St. Simons exist for spiritual renewing experiences like our worship, not for the convenience of a dedicated staff. The people who love and care for the place need to be the people who make the accommodations to what moves the overall mission forward -- even if that means the longtime, everyday workers are the ones to accommodate to the visitors who come and go.

The same thing is true for the local church. It's the regular, dedicated, time-giving people who need to be sure to keep the mission of the church first and foremost. So if Trustees -- who are, in my experience, always deeply dedicated people who love their church--are reluctant for the church to be used for fear of marks on the wall or carpet, that's backwards. The mission of the church is to be fully engaged as a witness for Christ -- deepening the discipleship of its members and tirelessly reaching out to new people. If the building shows wear and tear from use that has moved the mission forward, that's cause for celebration -- even though it means more trouble and concerns for the trustees.

The longer we have loved the church, the more clear we ought to be about the church's mission -- and the more willing to sacrifice, accommodate and re-arrange to move that mission forward. God bless the maintenance people of our holy places...and may they always recognize the primacy of the mission when adjustments to the routine have to be made.

My new favorite Christmas carol...

2011-12-31T22:19:00.002-05:00

I love the traditional--especially at Christmas. Even with a very traditional background, ministry in this time in history has already made my life untraditional. In this rapidly changing culture, holding onto a few traditional things gives special joy. I cherish the Christmas traditions and music is at the top of the list of precious things.
So it never occurred to me that a favorite of centuries could be improved on.
My four year old grandson showed me differently.
Mark and Mary Allen were having a discussion about the boys' favorite Christmas songs. "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" was #1 on the list. Prodding them to think of a church Christmas song, Connor offered, "Mark the Herald Angel Sings". :) Then Tyler, apparently the theologian, gave this brilliant improvement for a carol I have loved for decades: "O Come and Be Faithful".
"O come and be faithful". Now, there's an idea.
Tyler has changed the old favorite for me forever. I'll never sing it again without thinking about his words. May we come and BE faithful...joyful and triumphant.

On the court or in the church...

2011-12-15T21:15:00.002-05:00

I grew up loving college basketball. And, as I am going through withdrawal of my thyroid medication and on the very restrictive low-iodine diet in preparation for next week’s routine follow-up scans at Duke, it is a special gift to me that basketball season is underway. With my fatigue, I don’t yell at the players, coaches or referees nearly as much as I normally do, but, through the years, I have learned that doesn’t make much difference anyhow. :) Doesn’t stop me, but my good advice doesn’t seem to change their behavior.
Staying home during this depleted time has reminded me that there is very little good to watch on TV. So this past Saturday, I was thrilled that there was a full line-up of basketball games. My family in Kentucky is, as you can imagine, all rabid UK fans. But my sister and both brothers were born in Cincinnati. So I was watching the Cincinnati-Xavier game too and was shocked and horrified at the end-of-game brawl. As I have said to you many times about United Methodism – we emphasize the importance of passion AND discipline. You’ve got to have both. To be a good ball player – or a good witness for Christ, you’ve got to have passion…but passion without discipline turns out to be disaster. Discipline need not be a god unto itself (then it is a tyrant) but the absence of discipline in crucial moments is a tragedy. And that’s what happened Saturday.
My heart broke for embarrassed Cincinnati Bearcat Coach Mick Cronin who struggled to find words for the anger and disappointment he felt. In a news conference, he said he made all the Bearcat players take their jerseys off in the locker room and that they would have to earn their way back to playing privileges. Playing is a privilege, he said, especially playing on scholarship. Players on the court represent more than themselves. They represent the university. And they need to understand that first and foremost.
And I understand that intense, gut-wrenching feeling so well because part of the work of a DS is being called on the congregation court for the same kind of unfortunate flare-up. Once people start swinging, they swing at everyone in sight. I don’t think it would be much consolation to Coach Cronin for me to write him the good news that none of his players took at swing at him ---but in my church world, when people are mad and out of control, they take swings at each other and the preacher and the DS. The bishop, too. Sad thing is, I am not dealing with teenagers and young adults. Usually, I am facing the out-of-control swinging of adults who have attended church for decades and ought, by teaching and maturity, to know they are out of line. Hard to describe the disappointment.
This is the thing: no one should have to tell an athlete that every athlete on the court is bound by the rules of the sport. No one should have to say that athletes should not be throwing punches at anyone else on the court. No one should have to say that everyone is expected to play by the rules.
If I have one theme of my superintendency for situations of conflict – this is it: no matter what has happened, Christians are expected to live and act like Christians. We have a common covenant. We expect everyone to live up to it. Jesus himself laid down that basic covenant: “Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12 among many places). It is not ok to come out swinging – on the court or in the congregation. In the Garden of Gethsemane, in one of the most intense, pressure-filled, emotional scenes of all Jesus’ life, Peter came out swinging. (John 18:10). And Jesus, who might have been a little more sympathetic to the immense sadness and trauma of the moment, turned back to Peter with some of the strongest words of admonition anywhere in the New Testament: “NO MORE OF THIS!”
The heat of the moment does not give us permission to lash out – not against our friends, not even against our enemies. Every sports player is bound to the common rules of the game and it is unacceptable for emotions to get out of control in ways that hurt others. Every CHRISTIAN is bound to the common covenant of the life, teaching and example of Jesus Christ. And no amount of emotion or pressure or disappointment gives a Christian license to depart from speaking and living the Christian way.
By the way, trash-talking apparently figured into the brawl on Saturday…and, while trash-talking is not prohibited by the rules of basketball (like throwing a punch in another players face), on the Christian court, trash-talking, gossip and slander all violate our common covenant.
I love basketball. Saturday’s incident leaves me with a sick feeling…a feeling I know all too well from church meetings that are outside the covenant. The coaches are telling their players that if they want to play again, they are going to have to understand that they represent the high standards of the university and be willing to put that first. I can’t kick Christians off the team. But I want to say the same thing. What you say and what you do represents Jesus. Don’t let anything distract you from that all-important reality. Make your mark for good. God’s message through the angels was God’s clear intention for our life together: “And on earth peace, good will to all.” No matter what anybody else does, don’t let anyone throw you off the focus God requires.
Our world is out of control. The media is full of people taking swings at each other. Family life and work life and community life (and church life) is often modeling the contentiousness of the culture. Being a Christian entitles us only to act like Christians—under all circumstances. What a witness we have a chance to make! May the peace of Christ come to us – and to others through us—this Advent.

Need to learn the language of the younger generation....

2011-12-11T21:35:00.002-05:00

Ok, this is the time for children to dream about what they are wanting for Christmas.

My Connor (6)---my very smart Connor--says he wants a DS.

Imagine my surprise!

In our line of work, DS is sometimes laughingly referred to as Director of Sanitation because of all the messes we get called to....but I have never known DS to mean anything other than this connectional work of District Superintendency.

So, when Connor said he wanted a DS, I said, "Oh, honey, you already HAVE one!"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, I'm a DS, I said proudly.
"No, Grammy. DS is a game."

"A game? What do you mean?"
Connor--tired of my not understanding him and leaving the room-- "I guess Mom and Dad will have to explain it to you."

I guess they will.

What I am doing certainly does not feel like a game.

A difficult choice...

2011-11-22T11:03:00.002-05:00

In 26 years of ordering the worship life of a church, I don't remember one time that people came up to me and said, "I am really looking forward to our Christ the King worship!" There were many years that people commented on how much they love Thanksgiving and how much they look forward to Thanksgiving. In recent years, people have lamented how Thanksgiving gets completely squeezed out in the rush to shop (which has never been more evident that this year...)
When the calendar falls like it does this year -- with the first Sunday of Advent just 3 days after Thanksgiving, pastors face a dilemma when planning the focus of the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Liturgically, it is Christ the King Sunday. Traditionally, it is Thanksgiving. The two Sundays are not opposites -- one good and one bad. But they are not the same in focus.
I believe one of the greatest gifts of the church is the church year. Because of our observance of the CHRISTIAN year - which is centered around CHRIST-we have a chance every year to walk through the life of Christ and the Scriptures. The Christian year keeps us grounded in Christ. Because of the observance of the Christian year, I hope that people are already anticipating that our Christian Happy New Year begins this coming Sunday - not with the partying and resolutions of the calendar year/January 1 new year -but with the joyful reminder that Jesus is coming again to claim this world in victory. What a great way to begin a year!
And the great addition to the thrilling, reassuring beginning of the Christian year is the triumphant, praise-filled close of the Christian year: Christ the King Sunday. After months and months and months of "Ordinary Time" - the longest of all the seasons of the church year-Ordinary Time comes to a dramatic close with a glorious celebration called Christ the King Sunday. Of course, some churches didn't observe it...because this year-as many years-because of the way the calendar falls, ministers have to choose between a worship emphasis on Thanksgiving (which people are often expecting) and Christ the King (which people are rarely anticipating). I hate it when the calendar forces a choice. As with life's hardest choices, this is a choice between two good things. How important it is to lift up the thankful heart! But, if I have to rank one over the other, I would have to say that lifting up Jesus as King of Kings and Lord of Lords is more than anything.
So I say hooray for all pastors who shaped last Sunday as a Christ the King service in our churches. I am guessing they didn't get much other thanks. They run the risk of grumbling from the congregation about why there wasn't a thanksgiving emphasis. These last few days of ordinary time are the right time to remember Christ the King -- in worship and each day.
We spend most of the time in our lives, just like in the Christian year, in ordinary time. And day after day, week after week, ordinary time in our family life, on the job, in friendships we value and in the church doesn't seem like it is sensational or dramatic. (If, of course, you have teenagers in your home, that's an exception. There's plenty of daily drama during some seasons of life. J) But, for the most part, we spend our life in ordinary time - learning, living the Gospel, practicing love in small, daily ways. Christ the King - the end of ordinary time-defines what gives substance and hope to all our ordinary time. Christ the King says that all our ordinary times are shaped around the safe, secure and ultimate ground of our hope: the victorious Jesus-Lord of life. So you can see why I hope Christ the King doesn't slide away into enhanced gratitude. Christ the King is like the triumphal spike of the winning touchdown for the game of games ---and the jubilant coach on the sideline who is wanting to say to his players: "Now, see, THIS is why we have practiced so hard every day....." There's a victory coming. And, for those of us who are in Christ, it is a certain victory.
So, no matter what Sunday's worship included, in these last days of Ordinary Time (which last until Saturday night at midnight), I hope Christians will cherish our great hope in Christ-King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Name above ALL Names. My prayer is that the daily routine of life does not dull us to the great adventure of living in love with a magnificent Savior. I long for the glorious victory of Christ to burn bright in our hearts. " Lift up your hearts!" is more than an introduction to the communion prayer of Great Thanksgiving. Life has a lot of ordinary time - but it is all in light of the great victory of Christ. Now, THAT's the foundation for a rich and powerful Thanksgiving!

Why we do what we do....

2011-11-11T14:25:00.003-05:00

As much as possible, I have tried to cut down on the paperwork that is involved in organizing churches. I remember how much paperwork is involved in being a pastor and I do my best to minimize that for the clergy I serve. But, after learning that many of my churches were not up-to date on their Safe Sanctuary practices, I added a form. I required an annual Safe Sanctuary form from every church every year.
The horrifying and heartbreaking headlines from Penn State this week is the answer to the question that I heard from plenty of lay persons: “Why do we have to do this?” We all know that sexual abuse of children is not confined to one university hundreds of miles from North Carolina. We have grieved over the stories of sexual abuse of children in Roman Catholic churches. And we recognize that a common thread in too many of the stories of the sexual abuse of children has to do with adults who cover up the abuse—which then leads to more children being abused.
I will do everything in my power to be clear: every United Methodist Church is expected to have and abide by Safe Sanctuary practices. Yes, there are going to be ways that it is inconvenient to have two adults at all times with children. Yes, some churches have had to modify their doors to provide for windows. Yes, some churches resist doing background checks with people who work with their children. Yes, it involves extra thought and preparation and supervision. Yes, it is a nuisance to have annual training for people who work with children and youth. Yes, people complain. But the protection of children in United Methodist facilities is a baseline that we are not going to alter. Complain if you want to. But everyone must comply.
Safe Sanctuary is our organized (METHODist) way of taking a proactive stand in a world awash with sexual deviance. Safe Sanctuary is our way of saying that we are going to put a priority on our children and young people. And if that means an inconvenience to adults, so be it. That's a small sacrifice compared to the horror of a child being harmed in our care. The safety of our children is worth it. If there is a sexual predator among us, we will have done everything we can to find that out before a child in our care is molested. Safe Sanctuary practices mean that we will not allow the setting where someone could take advantage of a child. We recognize the special place that children have in God’s heart and we are going to go all out to be sure that the children in our care are safe. We should take the clear teaching of Jesus to heart— re-visit Matthew 18: 1-9. . When United Methodist pastors are ordained, they are asked a series of historic questions from John Wesley (found in the Discipline, paragraph 336). Of all the things that are involved in church ministry, the one age group that is singled out is children: “Will you diligently instruct the children in every place?”. That doesn’t mean we don’t care about young adults, older adults, middle adults. The focus on children is a reflection of the clear priority and responsibility Jesus taught.
Every United Methodist pastor under appointment has been required to attend a day-long sexual ethics training. No exceptions. That’s how important it is to us to be sure that we are not caught unawares about the issues of sexual impropriety, the consequences of failure to supervise and the importance that we not be naïve about this. Sexual predators are often people who have won the trust of others. You can’t discern a sexual predator by looks or title or job. That’s why Safe Sanctuary is so important. Safe Sanctuary practices make sure that no one would ever have the opportunity to take advantage of a young person in our care. That’s the ultimate--and only true-- protection for our children.
My churches have turned their Safe Sanctuaries forms in. I want more: I pray that all churches will carry out Safe Sanctuary practices with a sense of purpose and joy. And when we read news stories about the terrible things that happen elsewhere, we can take watchful joy in knowing that, in the United Methodist Church, Safe Sanctuary practices keep our children safe. That’s a witness we dare not neglect.

Essential life lesson, my little one

2011-11-06T12:12:00.003-05:00

I do have the cutest grandchildren...if I do say so myself. :) And we have the BEST time together. I wouldn't trade anything for the time we share.

Yesterday, we were heading for a tradition of lunch together at McDonalds. My daughter is the best mother these children could have and she had put Chap-stick on Connor's badly chapped lips before we headed outside. His lips are tender and, he felt he was grievously injured by her ministrations. "She hurt me," he appealed to me. "It really hurt."

I know better than to try to get into the middle of a situation like that. Yes, I love my boys and will defend them vigorously.

And yes, his chapped lips may have hurt...but, bless his heart, his mommy hadn't hurt him. When we got to the bottom of the outside steps, he was still crying. So I stopped us and said, "Ok, we have to make a decision. Are you able to stop crying and get over this? I don't take crying children out to eat." "But," he said so earnestly, "she hurt me." Beloved child, you are breaking my heart! "That may be," I replied, "but, Connor, even if something hurts you, it is important to learn to get over it and move on. Do you want to go to McDonalds?" He did. He stopped crying, we got in the car and had a wonderful time together.

As I thought about it, I realized how important this life lesson is: learn to get over it. The teaching of Jesus is full of guidance about forgiving and moving on. And the Epistles to the early church are slammed full of admonitions to be kind, be loving, be forgiving, move forward, don't carry grudges, treat each other with gentleness. Life is just too precious for us to be bogged down with the hurts that have happened to us.

I know what it means to be hurt by others. I could go back through the last 30 years of ministry and have volumes to write about the way people have disappointed me, hurt me and unfairly treated me. I know what it is like to be let down in deep ways. If I held on to all that hurt, I would be a miserable, bitter person. Not letting go of hurt doubly hurts and cripples the person who has a grievance....except that not letting go is a decision that we make -- not something that is done to us by someone else.

This superintendency ministry involves hearing a lot about people's hurt feelings. I get so many complaints about people who have been hurt from something the pastor said, something the pastor did, something the pastor didn't do. Many of these complaints are YEARS old. And, while I care deeply about guiding pastors, catching mistakes and developing the most effective ministries possible, I also want to say to followers of Christ: Haven't you walked with God's word long enough to apply Christian love and move on? Do you have to lash out in attacks, spread your hurt feelings to anyone who will listen and stir up discord in your congregation? There's a mission to be done for Christ. Whatever happened, can't you love the church more than your hurt feelings, let God heal your hurt and show by your forgiveness and love that you are walking close to Jesus? Isn't the witness for your church more important than whatever has disappointed you? How can you move forward and help the church move forward?

I am so glad Connor decided to stop crying and go with me for a fun time together. How I hope that, as he grows, he will continue to be able to make that kind of good decision when he is hurt: get over it and move on. And how I pray that church people could learn to apply the gospel, get over their hurts in forgiveness and kindness and move forward in Christian love. Harboring hurts can't help anyone. There is a better way. My little grandson figured that out yesterday. A good time was more important -- and God has a great future for all who will move toward it.

Oh, Halloween should be such a celebration!

2011-10-31T08:14:00.002-04:00

Yes, I’ll be wearing my witch’s hat today!
Halloween is often the favorite holiday – ranking right up there with Christmas. With Christmas, however, there is common knowledge about the religious origins of the holiday. For too many, Halloween is just a dress-up-get-candy celebration.
So I am inviting us all to remember and reclaim the religious gift of Halloween. Halloween is the day before November 1, All Saints Day. And centuries before there were terrorists or suicide bombers or an economic downturn, Halloween was an acknowledgment that if the ghosts and goblins were going to be able to scare people, they had better turn loose in full force before the influence of the saints was lifted up. Because the powers of darkness knew that once the saints were remembered, the forces of darkness would be rendered powerless. The ghosts, gremlins and goblins would have to scare people while they had the opportunity: All Hallow’s Eve (All Saints Eve) was their best shot.
Isn’t it interesting that even the powers of darkness recognize the supreme superior power of God and God’s goodness when the people who follow God so often forget? In the Gospels, the demons knew that Jesus was the Son of God when the disciples weren’t so sure. (Mark’s gospel testifies to this dynamic repeatedly.)
From what I hear, I’d say that those who follow God are very much impressed by the powers of darkness. People are deeply fearful (apparently, we trusted in our prosperity more than we realized); anxious (apparently, we haven’t trusted God as much as we thought) and discouraged (apparently, we have seen the storm more than the Savior). No one has to explain to me the reasons for despair. The ministry of superintendency brings me face to face with harsh, discouraging realities daily. I understand completely the temptation for negativity to creep into shaping my attitudes and encounters. Our culture is drowning in negativity, fear and anxiety.
That’s why Halloween – All Hallow’s Eve—can be such a transformational day for us. And no, I don’t mean a costume. Halloween is the day when Christians laugh in confidence in the face of fear and evil. Halloween is the day when Christians affirm that the ghosts and goblins and gremlins had better fly around and do their worst because once All Saints Day dawns tomorrow – once we put our minds on the goodness and faith and encouragement and light we have received from the saints—the forces of evil have no power over us. Halloween is the day for us to say to the forces of evil: Give it your best shot. You will still fall short once the power of God is lifted up in the lives of godly people. Halloween is the day when we LIVE the words Martin Luther penned in his majestic hymn, “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God”:
“And tho’ this world with devils filled should threaten to undo us, We will not fear for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us. The Prince of Darkness grim: we tremble not for him His rage we can endure. For lo! His doom is sure. One little word shall fell him!”
This fearful, negative world of ours needs us to give witness to the true meaning – the original meaning of Halloween: Christians need not be afraid of anything. We have an unshakable confidence—characterized, because it is a gift of God, by humility and peace. God has won a cosmic victory over evil in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and this victorious God dwells in us. We should gladly affirm today that God’s goodness is the ground of creation and that we are creatures made in the image of God.
I have just finished reading Bishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter, Mpho Tutu’s book: Made for Goodness and Why This Makes a Difference. I encourage you to read this deeply spiritual testimony. As you know, they have personally faced some of the world’s deepest powers of darkness in the brutal racism of South Africa. In this life-giving testimony, they write: “God does dwell in us. This is the essential truth of who we are. We are creatures made in the image of God. At the core of our being is goodness. That is not to deny the reality of sin. Sin is real. Depravity and cruelty are real. Evil exists. But sin, cruelty and evil are not our essential nature. They are aberrations. What is normative is goodness. Wrongness runs against the grain of creation. Evil is so contrary to our nature that we must construct justifications to allow ourselves to do what we know to be wrong and cruel…Cruelty and spite are not the essential qualities of human beings. They are departures from the human norm.”
Oh, that this Halloween could be the day when we face fears, anxieties, and the evil in this world with the light and victory of Christ who lives in us. What cause for celebration when we fix our mind firmly on the goodness of God and God’s triumph over every evil. To personalize the celebration, on Halloween, let us draw up a list of saints of our lives—those who have shown us God’s love and encouraged the best in us. We are not denying the harsh realities of life or the evil of this world – just celebrating the victory of God and putting evil in its rightful, secondary place. Restoring God’s goodness to its rightful center of our hearts can make all the difference. Happy Halloween, indeed!

Finally! The answer to a nagging question

2011-10-01T22:20:00.002-04:00

Finally, I have figured it out!
I have never learned how to reconcile the difference between the very plain teaching of the Bible and the opposite behavior I see too often in church people. When church people are angry, their actions often don’t resemble the Golden Rule, the Great Commandment, the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord’s Prayer, admonitions to work for unity in the Body of Christ or anything else in the Bible. Forgiveness? Forget it. Kindness? You’ve got to be kidding. Mutual love? Not on your life. Telling the truth? Oh, please! Loving friends is formidable…loving enemies? Impossible. Don’t even mention it. When people get their feelings hurt, I have had the idea that the life, teaching and example of Jesus goes out the window.
For the longest time, this has upset me.
Now, I believe I have figured it out.
There is another ancient manuscript that people give allegiance to. That has to be the answer. It’s the only explanation I can think of. I have not seen the written manuscript, but I have seen the lives of those shaped by it vividly enough to reconstruct it. Like the book of James or I John, this is a powerful, but not a long text. From what I see, this is how the sacred text reads:
Chapter 1:
There is nothing more important than your opinion. When someone disagrees with your opinion, you should mow them down no matter who gets hurt in the crossfire. You need to be heard. When your feelings are hurt, that’s an injustice that demands attention. Do not hesitate to speak up, do not take time to choose your words carefully, do not worry about who will be affected by what you say. Remember: there is nothing more important than your opinion. Write that reality on your heart. Do not stop attacking and complaining until you have consumed the attention of everyone around (and I do mean EVERYONE).
Chapter 2:
Talk ABOUT people instead of talking TO them. You will find that your cause is stronger if you only talk about people instead of wasting your time talking TO them. Don’t worry about having your facts straight or acknowledging that there may be more to the story than you know. You know how you feel. And remember, there is nothing more important than your opinion. You have been hurt and if others get hurt in the crossfire, that’s just the price that has to be paid for the transgression. Maybe people will think twice before doing that again. Remember, if the others hadn’t hurt your feelings, all this would never have happened. So, if people get hurt, it’s not your fault.

Chapter 3:
Remember that blaming is a very effective way for people to see how deeply you have been wronged. People won’t be galvanized to support you unless they see you have been wronged. Tell your story with passion and tell it to as many people as possible. Don’t get sidetracked by the facts and don’t spend your time with people who dare to question your version. You must get attention to your cause. Remember, this is all about you.
Chapter 4:
And, in addition, it is all about your family. Family is important. So if anyone in your family gets their feelings hurt, that’s the same as hurting your feelings. It doesn’t matter whether the family member was right or wrong, if somebody hurts their feelings, they have hurt your feelings too. Remember: speak up, blame others, spread the word about the injustice, don’t feel the need to stick too closely to what actually important. Feelings got hurt. That’s what really matters. Family is important. Don’t let people get away with hurting your family’s feelings.
Chapter 5:
When the problem is about something at church, be sure you tell everyone how many years you and your family have been members of the church. That’s how people will know what a serious problem this is. And don’t stop complaining with the people directly involved. Register your complaint with every church official you can think of. Remember, what could be more important? Wrongs must be righted! This is especially true if your preacher has done something to hurt your feelings. Hurting your feelings is a terrible violation of the minister’s purpose to make sure everyone is happy. Such a transgression cannot be ignored—especially for someone who has been in this church as long as you have. There’s always hope that if you can be successful in stirring up enough dissatisfaction, you have a chance of getting your preacher moved. That will teach everyone the consequences of hurting your feelings.
Chapter 6:
Finally – and of great importance—remember that your allegiance to these sacred texts supercedes any other teaching! Some people will try to appeal to other sacred texts – don’t get sidetracked! This is the supreme sacred text and don’t you forget it. And don’t let anyone else forget it. Amen

So here it is: the manuscript of the ancient sacred text. I am pretty sure I have written it out accurately from what I see in the lives of its faithful followers.

Needs next door

2011-09-28T17:15:00.002-04:00

I was broken-hearted to learn this week that my next door neighbor had been in the hospital for over a week. I was sad that he had been hospitalized...but, even more so that I hadn't known he was there. I would have gone for a visit, sent flowers, checked on his wife -- something.
I love my home. But my neighbors have made my life such a joy. They are thoughtful and helpful and friendly -- really special people. I am so grateful for them.
I was reminded of something important. There is always more going on than we know -- even with those nearby.
When I served a local church, I always knew every Sunday that people were sitting next to people who had struggles/challenges that were not yet public. At times, I cringed when I heard careless, casual comments that cut others to the core. Those comments -- which people often thought harmless, made it harder for people to share their hearts and deep struggles.
Pastors are often advised to speak in conversations as if everyone in their congregation is related. Many times, most people are related! But, even if they are not, it is so wise to speak thoughtfully! We never know the burdens people are carrying on the inside.
How much more loving we might be--better neighbors and better Christians-- if we remember that there is so much more going on in the lives of those around us than what we see from the outside.

I Love Lucy

2011-09-23T09:55:00.002-04:00

Anyone who has a wonderful mother has a lifelong blessing. I am one of those people. Every day, I thank God for my remarkable mother, Rosalie DeYoung Shepherd.
Not only did I have the most amazing, loving mother. My mother’s lifelong best friend doubled the blessing. Eighty-nine years ago today, the gift of another wonderful woman came into the world. Today, I am thanking God for my “second mother”, Lucy Brooks.
Lucy and her husband, Irvin were members of Cooper Memorial Methodist Church when my father was appointed to be the pastor there in 1949. Their first child, Terry, was born on Christmas day of 1949. I was the firstborn in my family 6 months later. The four of them became fast friends. After my parents moved from Louisville, the friendship continued, deepened and grew. It was no ordinary friendship.
Every single week, my mother wrote a letter to Lucy about our family. Every week, Lucy wrote my mother a letter about the Brooks family. Oh how I have wished that they saved those letters! That would be the complete, unabridged history of our families.
Even though the firstborns have grown up in different geographical places since we were 2 years old, there was a common denominator in the love Lucy had for both of us. Every year on May 28 –every single year—I have had a birthday card from Lucy. “Love you much” has been her signature “sign off” to cards and phone calls and visits.
When my mother had surgeries in the two years before her death, Lucy was on my “first-to-call” list along with mother’s blood sisters. She and my mother were sisters of the heart. They had a special gift of loving each other…and loving everyone in their lives.
Lucy has given me that precious gift of unconditional love that is so rare for humans but so typical of God. Throughout my life, I have always known that Lucy loved me…loved me unconditionally. Could I have disappointed her? Yes, I’m sure that was possible. She has very strong principles. Lucy was a teacher and she spent her life building up the character of children in the classroom and everyone she knew. But I have had the treasured experience of knowing that nothing – absolutely nothing—would keep her from loving me. Her husband, children, grandchildren, friends who live closer to her experienced it even more. That’s a God-love. And an indescribable blessing.
Lucy is 89 today. I don’t need a special occasion to be thankful for her life. But on this day of her birth, I am especially grateful. “I Love Lucy” is more than a funny TV show of my childhood. It is the affirmation of my heart. Love you much, Lucy. More than you will ever know, your love has made a difference in my life.

Thanking God for the gift of grandchildren!

2011-09-19T20:16:00.003-04:00

There are so many reasons in life to be discouraged. That's more true in this ministry than any other of my life.
Balance is precious...and nothing is a more powerful balancer than the pure love of grandchildren. And no one has more adorable grandchildren than I do!

The world is so full of things to be discouraged about. No matter what the job, negativity is everywhere. God has given us an abundance of things to be thankful for...but those are not the things that ordinarily make the headlines to draw our attention. The dramas of work are often penetrated by negative situations and people. So I am not only thanking God for the extraordinary gifts of unconditional love....and letting that love give fresh eyes for the less obvious -- but richly present positive balances God builds into every day.

Living Psalm 23

2011-09-11T19:28:00.001-04:00

After church today, a man told me he was very impressed that I could recite Psalm 23 without reading it. Being able to say the 23rd Psalm isn’t the fruit of laborious memorization. I’ve read it so many times I can’t help but know it by heart.
I’ve not just read the 23rd Psalm. I’ve lived it. This morning, I shared with the congregation one experience of living Psalm 23:5,6 in one appointment. A man in my congregation was not happy about having a female preacher. It wasn’t personal because he was mad about it before ever meeting me. But he didn’t stop with grousing about having a woman as a preacher. The better things went in the ministry of the church, the madder he got. He did everything he could to stir up criticism and opposition to me. He told lies about me and constantly looked for something to criticize. He sat in worship arms crossed on his chest with a frozen scowl on his face every Sunday. And, just as often, I lived the truth and beauty of the psalmist’s affirmation: “Thou prepares a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over.” Each Sunday, God gave me the gift of a message, the high calling of the ministry and a full cup of love and assurance.
Before I left the lunch after worship today, one man stopped me and asked me if that man in my sermon ever changed his mind. Although my pastoral life is filled with precious experiences where people (male and female) DID change their mind, this isn’t one of them. “No,” I said. “As far as I know, he never did stop opposing me.”
But, quickly, I realized that answer was incomplete. “The important thing is that his hard heart didn’t harden mine.” Was it hard to face the constant undermining, the relentless negative presence? Yes. Only God knows how deeply that hurt me. But God’s provisions were deeper. The ugliness of the other person didn’t turn into ugliness in my own heart. Even though he did not live up to his Christian commitment or his membership vows, I did not fail to extend Christ’s love to him or pray for him. The real danger of evil, as I see it, is that, in their pain, the patient, innocent wounded become like the very evil that hurt them.
This is precisely where the grace of God transforms. “Love your enemies”, Jesus teaches. “Pray for those who despitefully use you.” And, in excruciating pain, Jesus lived what he taught: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Just before He was about to be crucified, Jesus told his disciples, “In the world you will have tribulation, but do not be afraid. I have overcome the world.” When the resurrected Christ found disciples who had deserted and denied him, his first words were “Peace be with you.” Jesus lived out of the great resources of God’s love.
God’s Word doesn’t tell us that we will be exempt from the valley of the shadow of death or the presence of enemies. The consistent witness of Scripture is that the resources of faith are stronger than the harsh realities of the world. Are the disciples in a storm? Yes. But Jesus is with them. Are there enemies? Yes. But God prepares a table. Is there a valley of deepest darkness? Yes. But God’s presence fortifies against all fear. Over and over, God’s people are invited to turn to provisions of faith in the face of painful realities.
If the 9/11 remembrance brings forward any challenge to Christians, it is the teaching of Jesus to love our enemies. If the pain of 9/11 brings a danger, it is to let the hatred of others make us haters, too. If the national tragedy gives us a spiritual challenge, it is to be more compassionate than cynical, to be more faithful than fearful – to live out of the rich resources God offers instead of living out of the shallow responses of wounded hearts. “I will fear no evil…” Ancient words, but a great testimony for ever-new challenges in today’s world.

I will fear no evil...

2011-09-09T10:04:00.002-04:00

Before the intensified attention to 9/11, I had already been feeling the vulnerability of life. Everyone knows in the back of their minds that life is short, that the world is dangerous and unpredictable, that things can dramatically change in a heartbeat. We don’t usually dwell on these realities. By the nature of our work, pastors are acutely aware of these stark truths about life.
Most people have had the experience when the reminders of life’s fragility ganged up in the calendar and the heart. That’s what has been happening to me in the past couple of weeks: the sudden, unexpected death of a dear friend just my age, the news of the recurrence of cancer with another friend, the death of a like-my-mother precious presence in life all within a week. So I didn’t need all the stories of 9/11 to remember that we never know what a day will bring. I don’t need the talk of 9/11 to remember that evil is real and that good people—innocent people—suffer in this fallen world. I don’t need news stories to tell me that life can turn upside-down in a heartbeat. Those realities did not (or end) on September 11, 2001.
Exactly at this point of painful reality, the rich resources of faith makes a difference. The 9/11 experiences of life – those gut-wrenching, life-changing, cut-to-the-core experiences—send us frantically scrambling for a sure foundation. And, no matter what has happened, the dependable, strong, redemptive love of God is always there. “I will fear no evil” we all learned to recite from the beloved 23rd Psalm “for thou art with me.” It’s in the 9/11 times, the true, dependable, unstoppable source of security emerges. We see how much we have trusted in things that will pass away. And, at our best, we put our pain to the good work of establishing/re-establishing an anchor of life that will never fail us or let us down: the love of God.
As with every tragedy, the most important thing is not the shock of what happened. The defining dynamic is what we do with the tragedies that life brings. On September 11 (and every anniversary day of other tragedies), some will be bitter, angry, depressed or crippled with sorrow. I understand. No one should condemn others for the deep emotions of loss. At some point—some life-giving turn—the bigger question emerges: What am I going to do with this unspeakable tragedy that has happened? That’s the defining question. Will the tragedy define life? Or will the tragedy of life turn us to the unfailing resources of God?
In a devotional book I have been reading, Trusting God for Everything: Psalm 23 by Jan Johnson, she points out that the verse I have always loved “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” (Psalm 23:4) literally means “Yea though I walk through the valley of deepest darkness…” That includes all of life’s bitterest experiences. Followed by the great affirmation I invite us all to make: I will fear no evil; for thou art with me. Evil is present in the world, but it is not feared. What a great witness our faith has to offer to our anxious, insecure, dangerous world!
Looking back across the last 10 years, I am looking at life with this question: How has 9/11 (our national tragedy or your personal 9/11 experiences) shaped me? Am I more cynical, bitter, angry, insecure, resentful, closed to others or God? Or am more trusting in God, more loving, more forgiving, more merciful, more peaceful and committed to living in peace with others? Does tragedy in life shape me or, by God’s grace, am I transformed?
Long ago, I made it a daily practice to read Romans 12. This weekend, as our nation walks through the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I am adding a daily text-- the 23rd Psalm-- at the beginning and the close of the day. The only way through the valley of deepest darknesses...the only way to fear no evil is through the security greater than life--the security of God's dependable love.

Wondering about disasters.

2011-08-31T13:55:00.002-04:00

Can somebody help me?
I am struggling to understand something confusing and repetitive. Disasters seems to promote self-doubt. “Why did this happen to me/us?” is a very common reaction. In our country, with our precious freedom of speech, disasters also become the occasions for religious and political speakers to take the situation for assertions that God is punishing people/the nation for something that the spokesperson wants to denounce. And, to the point of my concern, faithful, dedicated Christians seem to be very vulnerable to believing that God sent the natural disaster as a sign of His wrath and disapproval.
Can anyone explain to me why people would believe such a thing?
The God we worship revealed in Scripture has consistently, constantly, and creatively sought to save us in love. There was a time the Bible tells us that God got so fed up with human sin that He created a natural disaster as a sign of his judgment (Genesis 8/9). The end of this story is a precious covenant. God clearly states (Genesis 8:21,22) that He will not destroy people through natural disasters even though the inclination of the human heart is toward evil. Further, God gives a sign/seal of His covenant – the rainbow. (Genesis 9: 13-17). God made a promise to human beings that natural disasters would not be His way of pronouncing judgment on their sin.
And, beyond that covenant of assurance, God sent Jesus as the pure and prime example of His commitment to win us in love to salvation and wholeness of life. Sending down natural disasters is not God’s way. John 3:17 is very clear: God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world. And, while I am fairly certain that God has not been very happy with the ways of Washington, I am completely confident, that God isn’t very happy about His name invoked as the source of natural disasters to make a political point. That seems to me to be taking the name of the Lord in vain.
The idea that God would send a natural disaster to indiscriminately harm thousands of people is completely foreign to Christian faith. Faithful and unfaithful, saints AND sinners are hurt by disasters. Does anyone think it is like God to send wrath on everyone—the faithful and the unfaithful? That’s not Christian. And besides, if God was going to pick up natural disasters as a way of dealing with sin, we would have non-stop natural disasters everywhere we turn all the time. C'mon folks, think it through!
Our God is a God of love and compassion and mercy. United Methodist faith is centered on grace. Be careful of the messages you hear in the airwaves. Test the assertions of those who want your attention, your vote and/or your money against biblical truth. Especially in the vulnerability of doubt in the wake of a personal or natural disaster, be doubly careful what you believe when people make claims about God being the source of death and destruction. That’s an Old Testament concept that even a true reading of the Old Testament won’t support.
But such outlandish heresy does make headlines. It does generate publicity. It does get people’s attention. And, while that makes me cringe, these outrageous statements also open a door – they give us an opportunity to be witnesses to God’s everlasting love, mercy, grace and hope.

A backyard parable...

2011-08-25T20:14:00.003-04:00

One of the most wonderful things about my home is my backyard. It is full of beauty -- flowers, birds...a true refuge. I can honestly say I don't ever take that beauty for granted.

This summer, after traveling for a couple of weeks, I noticed that my backyard bird feeder didn't need refilling. That was strange. As I watched the next couple of days, I noticed that birds were not flocking to the feeder like they usually do. (It is, after all, the only bird feeder in my yard that the squirrels can't get into.)

The reason wasn't apparent from a distance. So I took a closer look.

When I made a careful, close look, I saw the reason that the birds were not coming to the birdfeeder. Moisture had gotten into the feeder and the seed had gotten clumped up and hardened. The bird feeder was full of bird seed but birdseed was blocked. The birds weren't coming because they couldn't get anything out.

I emptied the feeder, cleaned out the bird feeder, let it dry, re-filled it and my birds are coming back.

I've been thinking about that bird feeder. I think the church these days is a lot like the bird feeder: looks like it has lots of nourishment, but, upon close examination, there are things that block the nourishment from getting out. And, like the birds, when people don't get nourished, they stop coming. Like the birdfeeder, cleaning out the clogs and hardened places takes patience and hard work. But the results are well worth it.

And the truth is that too many people look at the church like I first looked at my clogged bird feeder. Looks like there is plenty of food. What's wrong with the birds? Too many people don't take the up close look to find the hardened obstacles to the feeding...deny that anything needs to be done. Too many aren't willing to deal with the clogs.

The reality is that people are not going to come to church if they aren't being fed. Conflicts, cliques, resistance to changes, complaining unhealthy practices, unhealthy leaders -- all those things keep the life-giving power of the gospel from coming through. Those things need to go. The church may look fine from the outside. But the love and power God intends gets blocked and hardened.

Anyone who loves the church needs to take a closer look whenever there's a decline in attendance. Even in this culture where there is tremendous competition for time, people are starving for the deep love that Christ can provide. When the people aren't coming, take a look at why and be willing to clean out anything blocking the free flow of God's love.

Why in the world would anyone come back?

2011-08-08T09:54:00.003-04:00

The boys and I made a trip to the wonderful world Methodist Museum while we have been at Lake Junaluska. "This is very interesting," said my 6 year old. I'm glad he thinks so. I hope it gets more interesting and more challenging to him as the years go by.

One of the richest experiences of Junaluska is running into people across the years. One friend and I were catching up, realizing how long it had been since we had talked. Knowing that she was an active United Methodist, I asked about her church and was surprised to hear she no longer attends there. "Too much church, too little Christ" was her shorthand explanation.

Because her work involves pastors, she said she had noticed a downcast look in pastors recently so she set out to visit churches in the vicinity. That explained the looks.

What a shock to her that, after a Sunday as a visitor, she would walk away from the worship experience wondering, "Why in the world would anyone come back?"

It's a sobering observation. With the culture shift, maybe the best thing people who love the church could do would be to ask themselves, "What about our church would make people want to come back?" and, even more personally, "What about my life/interactions would make people want to come back to church?"

The statistics are stunning that the vast majority of people who come to visit in a church do not just drop by. They come because of a special need in their lives. They don't come in telling people about the diagnosis, the difficult family circumstance, the job pressure -- but church members can be wise enough to know that some need precipitated the presence of the new person in the pew. When they come, do they find the warmth, openness, kindness, generosity of spirit that draws people to Jesus?

John Wesley had a passion for people and a zeal for sharing the gospel. We have a heritage to pass on. I want it to be more than taking a picture at a museum. I want my grandchildren -- and all United Methodists--to be inspired and fueled by our energetic beginnings and the unique UM combination of enthusiasm and discipline. Next Sunday, when you leave worship, ask yourself, "Why in the world would anyone come back?" and get to work bringing John Wesley's fervor back into our churches.

The issues that have no deadline...

2011-07-29T19:45:00.002-04:00

Though the media/headline/political commentary is focused intensely on the debt crisis/debt limit crisis in this country, followers of Christian faith know the challenges run deeper. The issues underneath, behind and above the debt/debt ceiling decisions are deeply spiritual and unaddressed (as far as I can tell) by most of the conversation.
These prime mover issues don't have an August 2 deadline. They are deeper than the Congress can solve because of their spiritual component. In the turmoil of political debate, the door is open for Christians to witness to fundamental teachings of biblical faith. This is our opportunity to love God and our country enough to bear witness to the light of God for the present age--and to apply Christian principles regardless of political affiliation.
At the heart of the debt issue facing our nation are fundamental issues of human greed, the seductive, spiritually treacherous temptations of weath and how we care for the poor and vulnerable. Capitalism adulates wealth and the acquisition of wealth. Some tout the importance of the unfettered, unregulated freedom to make as much money as possible. That's where the crossroads of capitalism and Christianity meet.
A baseline of Christian understanding of human nature is the importance of the accountability of all people and, quite specifically the particular, spiritual temptations of those who are wealthy and powerful. The Judeo-Christian heritage is saturated with teaching about the imperative of those who have resources to care for those less fortunate. When governance presses for unfettered pursuit of wealth and minimizes responsibility to the poor, both of those directions are counter to the consistent teaching of Scripture. These concerns of Scripture applies to Christians no matter what their political affiliation.
There are other Christian principles that also apply to what we are seeing unfold in our nation's political discourse. The first is a the steadfast, resolute, unwavering commitment of Christians to tell the truth. That cannot get lost no matter what the issue. Christians cannot be consistent with Christian faith and trade in misrepresentations, gossip, slander or outright lies. Again, political affiliation does not matter. All stand under God's call to truthfulness in all things.
The other primary theme of Christian teaching that is telling is the way Christians treat one another: loving others the way Christ loved us and treating others the way we want to be treated. The clear teaching of Scripture is that God created the world and Christ died for the sins of the whole world. We are all brothers and sisters. Does anyone think that changes for those who are of a different political party than your preference? Even when people, by their actions become enemies, the consistent teaching/example of Christ is that we should love our enemies. Christians should call all politicians and all leaders to these standards...and we should all live them in our political and personal conversations.
The spiritual sickness of human nature plays out in so many ways. I am praying -- not only that our leaders will find a solution to the debt/debt limit problem in our country. I am praying that Christians everywhere will not let the heat of political rhetoric obscure the underlying issues which remind us we are all in need of God's guidance, redemption and healing grace. Let's keep the spiritual issues before us no matter what legislation passes.

Just can't stop growing...

2011-07-28T22:36:00.004-04:00

If Tyler Michael Conforti is not the cutest, most affectionate, smartest 3 year old on the planet, I can't imagine who is.

And today is his last visit to my house as a 3 year old. The next time he comes, he will be 4.

On the drive from his house to my house, this is part of how the conversation went:

Tyler: Grammy, I'm about to be 4!
Grammy: (feigning distress) Oh no!
Tyler: Oh yes I am! And then, after that, I'll be 5!
Grammy: (feigning greater distress) Oh no!
Tyler: Oh yes, I will. And after that, I will be 6!
etc. etc. etc. until he is 10.....

Grammy: Tyler, you are just growing up too fast. (A true statement if I've ever made one...)
Tyler: But, Grammy, I have to keep growing.
Grammy: Can't we stop it?
Tyler: NO! You can't!

Grammy: Couldn't we just put a brick on your head?
Tyler: No, I'd still keep growing...and, besides, that would hurt.
Grammy: You are getting to be such a big boy.

Tyler: That's right, Grammy. Get used to it. Because I'm going to keep growing and growing and growing and growing.

My sweet grandson is a welcome change from the adults I often encounter in my work who aren't growing and proud of it. I'm wishing more people would be excited about growing....

What is Necessary for Beauty

2011-07-23T14:26:00.004-04:00

Yes, it's possible to have beautiful flowers in a scalding hot summer.

The key is to keep them watered.

My plants tell me if they are going to withstand the blistering heat, they need to be watered and fed regularly. When I water and feed them regularly, they reward me with burst of blossoms and beauty. When I fail to water them, they wither. That's it. Pure and simple.

We are living in a blistering, scorching culture. Criticism, attacks, and falsehoods that permeate our culture are as depleting -- and devastating to beauty--as the scorching, relentless rays of the July summer. Churches can be the watering/feeding/beautifying source for people. But the heat of the culture makes the survival of beauty more than preachers watering members. While I believe the times press deepened responsibilities for nurture on pastors, the daily depletion requires more than a once-a-week watering. Every Christian has to cling to Christ (as Jesus taught in John 15) every day or dry up. In the adversarial tone of our nation these days, nothing is more important for every Christian than finding the daily water of life and the beauty of God's heart. Sometimes, that means more intentional prayer and devotional time. For some, disengaging with the constantly conentious voices in media will open the door to hearing God's voice. For others, daily Bible reading and reaching out to others in kind deeds and invitation will be ways for God to water the soul.

This much I know: beauty can blossom in the most intense heat. But not without regular watering. It's true for flowers and it is true for people.

Preachers! People! Please pay attention!

2011-07-11T20:50:00.006-04:00

Please, please, please, please, please pay attention to what you say -- especially when leading worship.
Honestly, if one more preacher prays, "God, we ask you to come be with us for worship", I am going to SCREAM. Out loud.
I understanding that asking God to be present is a common practice. Misguided, but common. When that is done in a United Methodist setting, I really do feel fingernails on the chalkboard.
Why would we ask God to BE present when we Wesleyans have such deep convictions about prevenient grace -- the grace that goes before us? God gets to church (and everywhere else) befor the the first person arrives. God goes ahead of us in all things.
We don't have to ask for God's presence. In reality, we couldn't keep God out if we tried. The psalmist writes eloquently "Where shall I go to flee from your spirit? ....If I make my bed in hell, you are there." So what makes us think that God might not show up at church if we didn't beg him to come?
Please, please, please, please, please! Especially when leading worship, it's important to choose words that match our beliefs! Stop asking for God to show up. Start paying attention and asking people to open their hearts to the God who is graciously and pervasively present. That is one of our most important beliefs.
I don't want to make a scene at worship. But "Lord, keep your hand around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth" is not going to be a prayer adequate for me if I keep hearing preachers pray for God to be present. God beat you there! Pay attention, folks!

A new beginning

2011-07-01T16:12:00.002-04:00

July 1. First official day of the new conference year. A chance to everyone to turn to Christ in new ways. How I wish people in the pews understood what an impact people have on their pastors!
I spent last weekend attending retirement celebrations. In each case, decades later, these fruitful ministers were giving tribute to the life-changing difference that lay people in their first churches had in shaping them as ministers. Sunday morning at Broad Street UMC was a beautiful picture. Don Shuman had the chance to conclude seven years of ministry at Broad Street along with people present from every church he has served across 40 years. Don talked about each of the churches and asked the people present to stand as he told about their ministry years. He especially lifted up the love and kindness of the first congregation he served. He told how their love and Christian example had shaped his ministry for every other church he had served since. He closed his farewell time with three hopes for Broad Street.
For the second piece of counsel, Don asked Rev. Jennifer Bingham, the new associate pastor at Broad Street, to join him at the pulpit. (Because Jennifer graduated from Duke Divinity School last December, she was available to start on staff here before the usual move date). When Jennifer stood beside him, Don put his arm around her and said to the Broad Street congregation: "This is Jennifer's first appointment. I am asking you to love her well. If you want to bless me, then do this: love Jennifer as much as my first congregation loved me because, I assure you, the way you treat her now will impact her ministry for years to come."
Everything in me wanted to stand up and start clapping. But Don had one more point to make and all attention was rightly riveted on Don. So I sat still. But his words could not be more true if they were in red letters in the Bible. The way a congregation loves (or doesn't love) the pastor makes a difference that affects every future congregation the pastor serves across time. First appointments are especially formative. But the impact at every stage makes a mark.
I celebrate the situations where pastors were sent off this week by receptive, appreciative congregations. These pastors know they have been enriched because people gave their gifts a chance, people improved on their suggestions, people forgave their mistakes. They will be better pastors in their new appointments because their congregations have been responsive and respectful, loving and supportive.
I have a heavy heart about other situations. Pastors have been wounded and that not only hurts the pastors, it leaves pain in the congregation. The pastor has been the target of unrelenting criticism. The pastor was blamed for the church's finances, the church's lack of growth, the church's lack of children, etc. etc. etc. I struggle. Does anyone really think that new people (or current members) want to attend a church with an atmosphere of constant criticism? Is there any effective way to communicate to people that tearing down the pastor tears down the church?
July 1 is the first day of the new conference year. May it be a year where Christlike love is the characteristic of all our congregations.

Still thankful after all these years...

2011-06-21T10:36:00.003-04:00

I learned this morning about the death of Rev. Horwood P. Myers and I remember the way that he brought life to me.
My family moved to North Carolina in September of 1984. I left my beloved first appointment in a cross-racial setting and, since the move for my husband was a September 1 opportunity, spent the year waiting and wondering if I would get a chance to serve a church. In May of 1985, my daughter's 3rd grade teacher asked the class to write the answer to this question: "If you could get your mommy anything in the world this year for Mother's Day, what would you get her?" Mary Allen wrote: "I would give my mommy a church. My mommy needs a church. My mommy wants to be a church lady." Her elementary-lined paper with her careful printing still hangs in my office.
And, oh, how I did want to serve a church! After working through 10 years of vehement opposition in Mississippi and meeting requirements of 3 different Disciplines, I was a newly ordained elder with no church in a new and very big Annual Conference where I didn't know anyone.
At appointment-making time, I had conversation with the Waynesville District Superintendent, Bob Ralls, who was very encouraging to me. He said he had a church that was being served by a retired supply but they had been asking for a younger preacher, said they wanted to grow and he would see if that might be an opening.
Bob went to meet with the PPR Committee of the Bethel-Piney Grove Charge and he described me to them. Well, maybe not comprehensively...because at the conclusion of his presentation, they said, "That's great. He sounds like just what we have been praying for!"
Then Bob had to break the rest of the story. "Well," he said, "it's not a 'he'. It's a female pastor." Dead silence. Bob pushed them gently: "You said this is just what you have been praying for." They agreed to think about it.
In the meantime, Bob went off to cabinet meetings where the first round of appointments were made. And the members of the Bethel-Piney Grove PPRC held the best kept secret (and maybe the only secret) in the cove just outside of Waynesville. They apparently did not tell a soul. After a couple of weeks--most notably, after all the other appointments were made, the PPRC called Bob and said they were just not ready for a woman. They would like for their current retired supply pastor, Horwood Myers, to come back for another year.
Things like that still happen occasionally in the church, I am sorry to say. But, oh how the atmosphere has changed! In 1985, that kind of negativity from the church was the end of opportunity for women. Women in ministry was, at best, a new idea. For most churches and cabinets, it was not a welcome idea. (Which is the most positive way to say it). Cabinets had reputations, especially at that time of WNC's history, for discouraging and disregarding women. And my conference membership was in North Mississippi. Any appointment I received in this conference would have been sheer grace. So for that opportunity to shut down was devastating.
I was crushed. Discouraged. Frustrated beyond words. And then Horwood Myers told the people at Bethel/Piney Grove that if they were refusing me because I was a woman, he wouldn't return either. Horwood didn't know me personally. The stand he took was on principle and it was a stand that he could easily have side-stepped. He liked serving Bethel-Piney Grove and they liked him. And, had he been willing to overlook their gender prejudice, I don't know if or when I would have had a church to serve in Western North Carolina.
Armed with Horwood's position, Bob Ralls went back to meet with the Bethel-Piney Grove PPRC. This time, he took reinforcements: "the old gray fox", Glenn Lackey--a neighbor of mine at Lake Junaluska who had a special love for these churches. They agreed to give me a chance. One Sunday and they would see.
That wasn't exactly a stirring affirmation or a wide open door, but that was the beginning of 5 amazing years of ministry at Bethel-Piney Grove...years that they and I still remember as exciting days of growth and joy. Things had changed dramatically when the next move came up. When moving time came, 5 years later at my request, they loaded up a caravan of pick-up trucks to move me and my daughters to Spruce Pine and, as they said, to tell those people at my new appointment that they had better take care of me or they would come back and get me in a heartbeat. God did a wonderful work in their hearts and in mine during those years. And the principles of Horwood Myers made it possible.
I'm sure there are hundreds of other stories to honor Horwood Myers for his ministry because people who live by their principles leave a lasting and extensive legacy. I often thanked Horwood in life but I could never thank him enough. He opened a door for me that made all the difference. His stand made my ministry in this conference possible. I thank God for him.

Oh my! What joy!

2011-06-16T22:04:00.002-04:00

My robe is ready. My new stole (custom-made by my sister-in-law) is ready. My Daddy (who will be 90 in November) has his red stole and robe ready. My heart hardly knows how to take in the joy of standing with my daughter as she is ordained an elder in the United Methodist Church.

The idea of "women preachers" is pretty clear in the birth of the church (thus the design of my stole for Saturday morning): "When the Holy Spirit comes....your daughters shall prophesy..."(Acts 2:18). But for centuries, people in the church have steadfastly refused women the prophesying role. Some churches still adamantly refuse to welcome women into ordained ministry. And, although Susanna Wesley, the mother of John Wesley, was quite a preacher herself, it has only been in my lifetime that women in the United Methodist tradition have been fully recognized as elders.

So the chance for a mother to share in her daughter's ordination is a new and rare gift, indeed...much less for us to be third and fourth generation United Methodist pastors. I thank God for the changes that I have had a chance to witness in my lifetime. And, as I stand with my daughter at her ordination, I pray for a truly Holy Spirit church -- where gifts are freed and celebrated, where understanding crosses differences of all kinds and where disciples are known for their holy boldness.

God couldn't be everywhere....???

2011-05-08T21:33:00.002-04:00

"God couldn't be everywhere, that's why He created mothers".... a saying that adorns stationery, note pads, desk signs, carry-alls, shirts. That little phrase is everywhere.

I am a big fan of honoring mothers. Believe me, I am.
And I applaud sentiments that show appreciation to mothers. Put them on billboards, bumper-stickers -- the works! But not this one. This "God couldn't be everywhere, that's why He created mothers" should not be repeated anywhere. It is TERRIBLE theology.
God IS everywhere. At their best, mothers show and share God's love...but they are present because God can't get around everywhere. That's more like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve night. God ISeverywhere -- for mothers, for children, for fathers, for everyone, married or single no matter where they live. God is ALWAYS everywhere. Psalm 139 states it so clearly: "Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me fast." (Psalm 139: 7-10)

I never cease to be amazed at how people can listen to a phrase like this and, contrary to everything the church has taught for years, smile and unquestioningly ooh and goo over sentiment. People need to think about things! There are plenty of phrases that may sell merchandise, but the message (however well-intended) is terrible.

God IS everywhere. And I thank God for mothers who have the opportunity to make God's presence visible.

The best gift of Easter

2011-04-29T18:58:00.005-04:00

Easter is so much more than a wonderful day. The gift of resurrection takes a lifetime to understand and personally apply...

I had the joy of spending Easter with my daughter, son-in-law and precious grandchildren. 7 month old Mia got restless when it was time for the sermon (no reflection on her daddy's excellent preaching!). I was happy to take her out for some together time .

We had sweet moments looking at flowers, listening to noises in the fellowship hall...she notices everything! Then I walked her through the cemetery which is adjacent to the church.

Mia looked absolutely adorable on her first Easter. She listened attentively as I whispered in her ear about the best gift of Easter. As beautiful (and advanced) as she is, I am sure she will not remember my talking to her as I walked her through the tombstones. As she grows, I hope I can continue to tell her -- and live for her--the true gift of Easter. I need to keep telling her that the gift of Easter is not new clothes. It is not Easter egg hunts or children singing or lilies or the big turnout at church. The gift of Jesus at Easter is much bigger than all that. The gift of Easter is that those tombsones in the cemetery are place markers, not tragic endings. The gift of Easter is that Jesus conquers all--the very worst that life can thow at us is no match for His triumphant power.

My beautiful little girl, Easter means that, with our lives anchored in Christ, we need not fear death -- or anything else in life. Oh, how important it is for Easter to sink in on today's disciples! How fearful and anxious and reactive we are! Jesus found his disciples and, without waiting for them to open the door, He stood among them and said, "Peace." May peace be ours. The peace of Christ---the victory of Christ: that's the best gift of Easter.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T20:52:00.004-04:00

HAPPY EASTER! Happy Easter! Happy Easter!

Gorgeous spring weather.

Adorable grandchildren.

Wonderful daughters.

Inspiring worship.

Warm family gathering.

Excited boys at the family Easter egg hunt.

Great food.

Wonderful memories. More to come...

I give thanks for every single feature of this day. And more.

But none of those things are what makes Easter happy.

Easter is a day of powerful joy because Easter is the day when Christ showed that, in the face of the world's worst, God is victorious.

From one Easter to the next, I am always mindful that we do not know the obstacles, difficulties, heartaches, setbacks, meanness and cruelty that lie ahead. The glory of the Easter celebration (and, truly, every Sunday of the year is a 'mini-Easter' no matter what the season) is that no matter what setbacks or horrors, God is victorious.

Easter means that no matter what the diagnosis, no matter what the economic conditions, no matter what unforseen accident or tragedy may come, God is victorious.

Easter means that whether we -- or those we love--walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God is victorious.

Easter Sunday reminds us that in ways beyond what we could see or believe, God is doing a mighty healing work -- a victorious, transforming work --to make all things right.

When I prayed for each of my churches and pastors this morning by name (as is my Sunday morning custom), I prayed that they would have glorious worship experiences. I have prayed that our people would, in addition, have wonderful family gatherings where we reinforce and bless the love shared in our family relationships.

But my greatest prayer is that people will not base their security on anything except the powerful, transforming, victorious love of Christ. That love -- and that love alone--is the ground of our hope.

I am grateful for my wonderful family. I am grateful for the church and for worship and for friendships. I am grateful for today's beautiful weather and I am oh, so grateful for my children and precious grandchildren. But had I only been able to spend Easter by myself or in the company of those I did not know, Easter would still be a day of unspeakable joy, reassurance and power. Easter is happy because of Jesus. Everything--and everyone-- else is an added blessing to Jesus Christ, the solid rock and anchor of LIFE.

So excited!!

2011-04-17T08:24:00.002-04:00

Today -- hopefully--worship services across the Christian faith will be filled with jubilation as we begin the most sacred week in the life of a Christian. What the waving palms and children's choirs may not convey is what a sad day Palm Sunday is--a tribute to how superficial our enthusiasm can be. What was the expression on Jesus' face when he rode that donkey into Jerusalem knowing full well that he was not going to be the Messiah they were excited about? People get very excited about what they need and who can give it to them. All through the last few weeks, I have been meeting with church groups telling me what they need. I try to bring to those consultations an open mind and an attentive heart. And these conversations of a district superintendent are not confined to appointment season. My first calls that a pastor had to be moved came my first year just three weeks after Annual Conference--just days after all good Methodists had made their annual move! People aren't waving palm branches in our consultations, but they are often pretty set on what they need in a preacher. And what they are asking for is very often not what they need to build a future for their church. People get very excited about what they need. I have no trouble picturing the enthusiasm of the crows on Palm Sunday. You can listen through any medium on the culture and hear the same insistent language about what people need. The problem is not that people don't speak up for what they need. (Our airwaves are certainly a testimony to that.) The problem is that people don't know what they truly need. The needs that people waved palms over were real needs--but not their deep need. They were waving palms for an end to Roman rule over their country. Jesus was coming to Jerusalem to save their souls for eternity. If Jesus had acquiesced to their shouts of hosanna, I have no doubt that He had the power to overturn the Roman rule. But, had He gone for the real-but-very-short-term cry of their hearts, we would not be celebrating Palm Sunday. Some of us who are history buffs might have noted that Jesus of Nazareth rode into Jerusalem on a donkey as the beginning of the overthrow of the Roman rule in the first century. But, if the cries of the people led to the action of God, Palm Sunday would only be a historical footnote. God took the longer look. Today, the church and the culture is still looking for saviours--politicians, preachers, philosophies--that will solve their problems. Palm Sunday is a chance for us to examine the cries of our hearts and the symbols we raise. What do we give our excitement to? Do we lift our voices for the short term relief as we define it or do we offer our needs to God for his always-broad-scope redemptive action? I pray that our Palm Sunday worship services are uplifting and exuberant. I also pray that Palm Sunday is a time for us to examine what we clamor for in light of God's redemptive desires for the world.

Silly ladies

2011-04-08T08:36:00.002-04:00

My heart is too full for words. After four days with clergywomen from across the Southeast -- celebrating milestones, walking through the painful early steps and acknowledging the challenges yet ahead-- flooded my heart with memories, hope and determination. One lunch meeting stood above all the high moments. In the course of meeting with sisters across conferences, I learned that a dear friend in the North Georgia Conference -- a daughter in ministry--had been brutally attacked on February 26. By any measure, she is a treasure--a ball of life and a heart as big as the world. She is a walking John 3:16 -- meeting people where they are, welcoming people of all nations and races with the overflowing love of Christ. Hearing the news that she had been attacked was incomprehensible to me. Sisters from yet another conference where we had all known each other arranged the lunch. Our precious friend shared about the attack and its gory details. She shared how help had come and how people across her city had reached out to her. She was realistic about her injuries but kept coming back to the way God had held her in a deep cocoon of peace. The best gift of all was that she was still herself in outlook and attitude and faith. Yes, she is recovering from one of life's most traumatic events. But she was feeling closer than ever to the love of God. I started and ended our lunch in tears that I could not hold back. But, as we were finishing, a young mother with a little boy about 2 years old stopped at our table. The young mother said, "He was fascinated by you because of your laughter. He looked up at me and said, 'Silly ladies!' I looked into that child's eyes and his mother's sweet heart and thought, "Dear friends, if you had any idea of the gruesome nature that was the core of this conversation, you wouldn't think about laughter. You don't seem to realize that you are talking to someone who has been headline news in your city for a horrible crime that was committed against her." And then I smiled at the gift of perspective we had been given. That little boy overheard the nature of our conversation. Obviously, his mother didn't hear any of the content. The content of our conversation would have frightened her. She heard the love -- love for each other based on a long history, the love of God, the gratitude in the midst of tragedy that my beloved friend repeatedly lifted up angle by angle. I was humble to the core of my soul that this amazing friend of mine....this beautiful daughter and servant of God had walked through this crushing experience with God so closely that others observed our sharing as joyful. "Count it nothing but joy" says the writer of James, "when you face trials of any kind...."(James 1:2) This has never been the easiest Bible verse to live. But I have seen a living witness to that joy beyond life's worst. I sat next to her on a booth over lunch this week. I saw first hand a living resurrection. And I will never be the same.

More Grace, Less Griping

2011-03-15T20:32:00.002-04:00

I do not remember exactly the first time I met Grace Blanton, but I took an instant liking to her. Passionate about her faith, opinionated in every other subject and not afraid to say so, I loved her honesty, her confidence, her fearlessness and her giving spirit. Her take-no-prisoners bluntness is balanced by her compassionate heart...and her lay-it-on-the-line observations are always refreshing to the superficial politeness that characterizes too much of church conversation.
I could never thank her enough for all the kind -- often attempted anonymous--good deeds she did for me. While I was her pastor, I couldn't help but be attracted to her colorful personality. So I was surprised when, one day, Grace said, "You shouldn't be spending your time visiting me." Looking straight at me, she said, "I'm already saved. You should be spending your time with people who don't know Jesus." Never thinking about herself -- however discouraging her situation--she was always pointing me to someone who would "really" need me.
I have never asked Grace her age. I guess her children know. But she is just not the kind of person you ask that question to. But she had been a member of the church for decades and was a member of one of the Sunday School class with my most senior members. When she chastized me, she was well into the category affectionately known as senior.
Grace in so many ways is the exception -- but, in my opinion, should be the MODEL for church members who are in the 55+ category. Since I'm in that category myself, I'm partial to this group of the faithful. And my highest hopes -- and expectations--are that this is the group that should model the greatest maturity, the greatest selflessness, the greatest vision and commitment to Christ and the church. My hopes are based on the important -- and very Methodist--premise that the longer we walk with Jesus, the more our lives should reflect Jesus. Those who have committed their lives to Christ decades ago should be the best forgivers, the kindest, the most loving of all Christians.
In reality, I am sad to say that most of my age group of church members don't show the selflessness Grace lived to me. Too many times, the people who have loved the church the longest are the loudest voices against change. When it is brought to the attention of people that the church needs to focus on young people (who are missing), too often, it's the members of my group -- those who have loved the church the longest--who immediately respond by saying: "But what about US?" Over and over again, when I ask PPRCs about the priorities for their pastor, even when the church desperately needs evangelism and outreach and programming for youth and young adults, PPRC members (many of them seniors themselves) say the priority is to visit the seniors.
They need a dose of Grace. And what great things could God work in the church if there was more Grace and less self-absorption and entitlement.
I am often discouraged -- but I not going to stop hoping or praying for seniors to be the most unselfish, Christlike members of all. Those of us who have loved the church and walked with Christ the longest should be leading the way in unselfishness and love for others.

It's that time of year...

2011-03-08T11:08:00.003-05:00

Here we are again.
The United Methodist appointment season -- a time of hopes and apprehensions!
How appropriate that most of our appointment-making is done in the season of Lent -- the season when we focus on the sacrificial nature of Christian discipleship.
Announcements of the pastoral appointments for 2011-2012 conference year will be made in each church on Sunday, May 1. From now until then, United Methodists should be lifting up the appointment process in prayer.
There are some United Methodist people who mistakenly think that this annual appointment-making doesn't affect them or their church. Every United Methodist Church is part of the appointment process whether there is a pastoral change or not. This is one of our great gifts to our churches and pastors. This annual review/reassignment process helps churches keep their proper center on Christ -- not the pastor. Churches that are built around the personality of the pastor are not focused in the right place. Pastors are members of the Annual Conference and the cabinet has responsibility to look out for the mission of the church across the conference.
There are things people can STOP doing that can help this unsettling time:

1. STOP pestering your PPRC members to tell you about your appointment this year. PPR members are the liasons of your church with the appointment-making process. They are honor-bound to not tell you about the projected appointment for your church until after the reconsideration round of appointments (which is the last week of April). We ask them to keep confidence with the process so that, when the announcement is made, all due consideration has been made and you can trust that the person announced for your church will be the person coming. The goal here is a holy one: to keep people on track with Christian discipleship (not running around with all kinds of rumors) as they prepare their hearts for Easter.

2. STOP thinking that a preacher is the answer to your congregation's problems. Sometimes, moving the preacher is not the answer...moving the preacher may only keep your congregational problems in place for yet another minister to have to face. Congregations need to practice the Christian faith in their life together: speaking the truth in love, showing kindness and forgiveness and love for all. Living the Christian faith is the vocation of lay disciples in the church. No preacher takes the place of lay people doing the right thing for Christ and His church.

3. STOP the idea that a young preacher is exactly what your church needs.
Time after time, PPR committees ask for a young pastor. They usually ALSO want one who is wise and experienced because of the situations in their church. Friends, we don't have 32 year old pastors with 20 years of pastoral experience! Only 7% of the clergy in our conference are between the ages of 24 and 35. If churches currently have one of those young clergy, they should be grateful. They should cherish, encourage and support that young clergyperson. The average age of clergy in the conference is 55. And before people go around talking about how old that is, remember that the average age of our CLERGY is 2 years YOUNGER than the average age of our United Methodist PEOPLE (57).
The other consideration churches need to make is the climate in their own congregation. What kind of situation would this desired young pastor come into in your church? I've had churches clamor for a young pastor where, with the ugly interactions between members, there is NO WAY I would send a young pastor into such a hurtful mess. If you want a young clergy, you should work toward your congregation being a place where a young clergy would be encouraged and strengthened and ministry.

4. STOP looking for a family package with your preacher. The cabinet appoints the pastors. Whether they are single or married, with children in the home or not, husband/wife active in the church or not, churches nee to start receiving pastors for who they are. My mother was the true ideal preacher's wife -- an active participant in the life of all the churches my father served and a blessing to everyone. So I fully appreciate how wonderful it is for a church to have a "pastor's wife" who is actively involved in the church. But the model of my mother is the exception these days. You are getting -- and we are appointing--a pastor. You may -- or may not--get the preacher with the wife who sings in the choir, plays the piano and has two children who are always well-behaved. Our preachers have to take the congregations we give them. Our congregations need to do the same.

5. Please STOP believing that you/your church is entitled to whatever you ask for. Oh, so many times, what churches WANT and what churches NEED are two entirely different things! Over and over, churches want to stay the same when they need to grow. They want to grow only if it means they don't have to change anything. They want the preacher to do the ministry and make everything all right. The cabinet only serves the churches well by looking at the ministry needs of the church. That may--or may not--match up with the comfort zone of either the pastor or the church. In these days of a drastically changed culture, if we don't challenge the comfort wishes of many of our churches, those churches will not exist in 10 years. The goal of appointment making is to provide pastoral leadership to our churches for kingdom-building.

6. STOP thinking that you can get your way in the appointment process by boycotting the church or withholding giving. Anyone who stops coming to a church to make a point about the pastoral appointment was not coming to the church for the right reason to begin with. We come to church to worship God, not the preacher. And the same is true about money. Anyone who withholds tithes to God because they are mad at the preacher is not giving with a right heart. We don't give money to the church to buy influence. We give to God to show our thanks for His blessings, to learn to trust His provisions and to support the sharing of His love around the world.
United Methodists have all kinds of open, appropriate channels to deal with legitimate concerns. Boycotting and clackmail are not going to do anything but show how spiritually immature people are. The cabinet is not going to make decisions based on people who are behaving in divisive, destructive ways. Anyone who want to have influence should be the most constructive, Christ-like person possible -- people who are living out the membership vows of faithfully supporting the church and strengthening its ministries. That's how to get influence.
People who are actively boycotting the church (with presence or their money) must not realize that actions like that only make it less likely that their pastor will move. How will the cabinet help a church if we reward bad behavior? And, by the way, who would we send? What preacher would want to come into a situation where members have a reputation for tearing down the preacher and each other?

Here is what people can START:

1. START praying! Pray for United Methodist PPRCs. Pray for United Methodist pastors. Pray for UMC congregations. Pray for your District Superintendent daily, by name, and pray for all the superintendents and the bishop.

2. START living the most holy, dedicated Christian life you can live. Anyone who wants to have influence, this is the way to get it.

3. START speaking up--with grace and love -- to make our congregations the best possible place to serve and our witness for Christ the most effective it can be.

4. START praying for God to open your heart to your pastor--whoever that may be--in new ways. Whether your preacher stays or moves, God is looking for United Methodist Christians to be open to being suprised at how God is going to be at work in the days ahead. We never know the good that God can unfold in the open hearts of His people. And if, on May 1, the announcement of the pastoral appointments doesn't suit your idea of what should have happened, pray that God will be at work in a mighty way beyond what we can see -- beginning with our own hearts.

Oh, the good that God longs to do in the hearts of people in our churches and communities! May the appointment process be focused on that kingdom building which will strengthen our witness for Christ.

They are listening and learning

2011-03-01T20:14:00.003-05:00

As I told the kids this weekend, I am the queen of PKs. My father was a PK. I am a PK. I am the mother of two PKs and the grandmother of 3 PKs! Living with the particular sacrifices that every parsonage family makes for the church, I have always felt that someplace in the church, we ought to do something for preachers kids. In Western North Carolina, we have made that someplace. The cabinet sponsored a retreat for our preachers kids this past weekend and it was an experience that we will never forget.

Preachers kids know the church in a different way than congregation members. There is a benefit side to that which the kids all quickly acknowledge: lots of people know you and are interested in you; people care about you and take a special interest in you; you feel at home in the church. There's a down side, too. Church people have high expectations of their pastor(s). Church people can be thoughtless and inconsiderate. Church people resist change and, when asked to do something they haven't done before, they can get downright mean. Preachers kids see all that. Only, when their preacher is also their parent who is the target of the whirlwind, these kids don't have a preacher to turn to.

One of the new additions to the PK weekend this year was some time to focus on life as a PK. The young people divided into groups of four, talked about what stuck with them about being a PK (positive or negative) and then role played situations of their lives. It was enough to make you laugh -- and cry.

I wish I could describe these skits. But one of the most important components of the PK weekend is confidentiality. So, without betraying their confidence, let me say that churches should be on notice. If they have preachers kids in their parsonage, those kids are smart. They have eyes to see and ears to hear and brains to understand. They see the silly fights, the personal attacks, the struggle to try new things, the petty miscommunications and they especially see the unchristlike behavior that characterizes too many of our church meetings.

I listen to the stories of these preachers kids and I want to go straight to the churches their parents are serving and say, "Listen, folks. Be your best--not your worst. These kids are watching you and what they are learning is not good." Preachers kids aren't the only ones watching adults practice Christian faith. Too often, congregations are letting our young people down.

No matter how many times people smile to their face, kids know when they -- or their parents--get stabbed in the back. Being a preacher's kid should not be such close exposure to the underside of human nature. We can do better. And we should.

The biggest thrill of the day

2011-02-06T21:43:00.002-05:00

I don't mind all the hoopla about the Super Bowl.
I understand completely that some people are offended at all the money that is spent on this one cumulative party. In our culture in general, I think it is good for people to have something to celebrate.
The problem is that people are throwing the biggest party and devoting the most energy to the most temporary (if not superficial) thrill of the day -- the football game. While the church can't compete in hype, the biggest thrill of the day was gathering for worship on the sabbath -- celebrating Christ's victory over death and opening the path to life now and forever.
Sure, this is a high profile football game. But it won't give the peace of Christ to a restless soul. No football game will give the assurance of eternal life and the fellowship of the communion of saints. No football game will give the peace that passes understanding or the presence of the Holy Spirit interceding for us when life hurts too much to form the words. No football game can bring that deep, abiding joy of being the beloved of God and no football game can bring the forgiveness we so desperately need. No football game gives the strength to love our enemies and pray for those who do us wrong. No football game brings peace to the troubled, comfort to the broken-hearted or healing to the hurting.
It's fine with me to have a big party to end the pro football season -- as long as we keep it in perspective. The greatest thrill of the day was not celebrated on the football field, but in sanctuaries and chapels and hearts. The greatest of all thrills--no competition-- is the unsurpassed gift of God in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Just wondering

2011-01-30T20:22:00.003-05:00

I'm watching the Pro Bowl...not because I care so much about professional football...but because very dear former members I served will be receiving an award given to their husband/father, Bob Lawing, former NFL referee who died last May. Every NFL ref this year has worn his initials "BL" on their caps all year -- including next week in the Super Bowl. So, in addition to the Panthers having a miserable season, I have had a heavy heart about watching professional football.
In watching to see my friends, I have learned something. In this game, 10 of the players on the field are wearing microphones. We hear everything they say on the field. Now that's something I haven't seen before. Surely the idea that the whole world will hear what they say gives them pause. Maybe this is an idea that should have a broader application.
Today's Old Testament lesson was the wonderful passage in Micah 6: 1-8...what does the Lord require of us but to do justice, love kindness and walk humbly with God. As I sat in worship, I couldn't help but think of the stark contrast to God's requirements as I was hearing them and the world we are living in. Do justice? Love kindness? Dear Lord, we are so far away from justice and kindness being dominating characteristics of people --even people in the church. Sometimes especially people in church. Walk humbly with God? Maybe if the requirement is to walk stubbornly and beligerantly.....but humility? Not so much.
Maybe if people would think about their conversations as if they had microphones? Then we wouldn't have all these secret conversations/social network correspondence that turn out to be hurtful and embarrassing when they come to light. I know someone who has gotten emmeshed in a relationship at work. Like the story I have heard too many times, the relationship didn't start out to be inappropriate. Part of my advice to try to heal and pick up the pieces: with every conversation at work, imagine that your wife is right there to hear every word. Have your conversations as if you are wearing a microphone.
I don't know how the broadcasters chose which players would wear microphones. But this I know: whether we're aware of a microphone or not, there is Someone who hears every word--that Someone who loves us and laid down His life for us...that Someone who should be the One who, above all, we don't want to disappoint.

Words matter.

2011-01-15T20:04:00.003-05:00

One week ago, a shooting rampage in Tuscon shocked our nation. As our continued prayers are with Representative Gifford and the families of those who were harmed or killed, the commentators and politicians have spent most of the week arguing about whether or not the vicious political tenor of our nation contributed to the shooting. Yes, some say. No, say others. The argument has filled the airwaves and newpapers and conversations. And the whole argument is beside the point.
The vicious political rhetoric in our nations should stop whether a shooting ever took place or not.
The extreme language should stop because Jesus taught us to love one another as He loved us. Describing people who differ as enemies should stop because Jesus taught we should love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Lambasting others, distorting their words or actions and labeling people should stop because one of God's first major commandments is that we not bear false witness against our neighbors. The vicious attacks should stop because, even when people are enemies, the teaching of Jesus is to love our enemies.
Despite overwhelming, consistent biblical witness to the importance of love, politicians -- and many others in our society--join in condemnation, labeling and accusations without batting an eye. And then, when a tragedy like the shooting takes place, they are quick to say that the words had no effect on what happened.
Indeed, in regard to the Gifford shooting, maybe the violent rhetoric of the political climate was not the cause. That's not the point.
As a pastor, I am in a profession that passionately affirms that words matter. And I say the violence of words is wrong whether there had ever been a shooting or not. The incendiary use of language is wrong because it violates the central Christian principles of love for others. And, whether or not the Tuscon shooter was affected by extremist political language, our nation has become affected by the steady stream of invective. Maybe I should say our nation has become infected.
I urge people not to spend their time arguing about whether or not the political words caused Representative Gifford's shooting. Let us spend our time speaking the truth in love and lifting up the value of words. And don't let anyone tell you that hateful words don't matter. They matter to anyone who follows Christ.

Christmas is not over

2011-01-01T14:08:00.002-05:00

Sometimes there is a writer who says just exactly what you want to say. That's what Ann Weems has done for me in her "January's Song"...

There's a rumor on the streets that Christmas is over.

Lights and ornaments are packed away,

Trees dragged to the curb,

people back to business as usual.

We're no longer in the party mood;

the humbugging is back in vogue.

This is January...

How can Christmas be OVER?!

The Child is just newborn,

the song of Peace and Goodwill

still rings in our ears.

The shepherds and sages still kneel to this One who is born to us...

just born to us!

How can Christmas be over?

The story of the gospel is just beginning.

We who saw the Star now live in its Light.

We who saw and heard now believe.

Christmas is not over.

We're just beginning to follow this One
who calls us now to live in the Light of Love.

Christmas is not over.

It's just beginning!

This is January's song!!

STOP the Fight Over "Merry Christmas"

2010-12-12T14:08:00.002-05:00

It is mind-boggling to me that Christians think they are doing Jesus a favor by picking a fight with retailers who say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". I know one situation where people who tell retailers that they -- and their church--won't shop there unless they say "Merry Christmas". That gives a witness. But it doesn't seem to me to have the characteristics of a Christlike witness.
First of all, "Merry Christmas" does not convey a religious message. "May Christ be born in your heart" is a religious message. "May God bless you" is a religious message. But "Merry Christmas" is not a greeting that gives a testimony to faith. That, alone, is a clue that this is not a holy battle to fight.
Secondly, I don't think it is the responsibility of retailers to proclaim the good news of Christ's birth. That is the message--and responsibility-- of the CHURCH. Why should a Lowe's or a Belk's or a Target be pressured--overtly or subtly--to give ALL its customers the message of Christ's birth. The job of retailers is to sell things. Aren't Christians uncomfortable with the purpose of retail sales getting mixed with the message of our Savior? Shouldn't the church first and foremost remember -- and remind others that our Savior was born into poverty and warned us about the spiritual seduction of things. Shouldn't the message of Christians be that the joy of Christmas is NOT in things--the opposite of what retailers are trying to promote?
Third, so Christians think there is some kind of seasonal exception to the Golden Rule? Maybe, for some, because it is the season of Jesus' birth, somehow, it is all right to ignore the teachings of Jesus? I don't think so. Jesus explicitly taught that we were to love our neighbors the same way we want to be loved. So how about this: This year, everyone in the community would say "Merry Christmas!" (which, as I have already mentioned, is not really a religious phrase). Then, next year, because we want to live out the Golden Rule, everyone in the community would say, "Happy Hannukah!" How much Golden Rule obedience do you think that would bring? And remember, when we are talking about respect for our neighbors of Jewish faith, we should remember that our Savior, Jesus, was a Jew.
We are living in a contentious, belligerent society. While it may be natural to want to fight about anything and everything, that is not the way of Christ...and I don't see that we can have a Christlike influence in the world by abandoning His teaching. "Inasmuch as it depends on you", Paul wrote in Romans 12, "live at peace with all." Don't think anyone does Jesus a favor by insisting that everyone say, "Merry Christmas." A much more powerful Christian witness would be loving others the way He loved us.
I believe in being a witness for Jesus during Advent (and every season). During Advent, you will find me wearing Chritmas sweaters that show Christ's birth. You will find me wearing jewelry that says "Peace on earth" and "Joy to the world". You will find me going out of my way to be patient and courteous and kind when I am shopping. You will find me offering a blessing to people who work the checkout lines -- not a lecture from the Pharisee language police about why they should say "Merry Christmas" if they want my business. You will find me tipping generously and writing a blessing on the restaurant checks and doing unexpected, anonymous gifts for others.
The witness of Christ-followers should be consistent with the example and teaching of the Christ we are following. We can be creative. We can be kind. We can be thoughtful. We can win people to Jesus with the love they see in words and actions.
I'm all for keeping Christ in Christmas. I just don't believe that picking a fight with people who are trying to practice the Golden Rule is much of a Christian witness. Keep Christ in Christmas is not a matter of certain words. Keeping Christ first and foremost has to do with prayer and devotional reading in a busy season. Keep Christ in Christmas is doing good deeds and generosity toward those less fortunate. Keeping Christ in Christmas takes place when we extend Christlike grace and kindness to those we meet each day. Keeping Christ in Christmas is something that we show by the way we live.
More than a "Merry Christmas", my prayer is for a Christ-filled season. I pray that our actions will be characterized by the humility, kindness, grace and love that will show that Jesus has come into our hearts That's where the real Christian witness will be found.

Sadness and peace

2010-12-08T20:29:00.003-05:00

This has been a week of death. Some weeks are like that.
Actually, every week is like that, but some weeks, the sadness gangs up in personal ways. This has been one of those weeks. Deaths in the families of several clergy, the death of a young clergywoman after a 20 month fight with brain cancer, sad clergy at the death of beloved members. In the context of all that, Elizabeth Edwards' death left me dissolved in tears.
I don't know Elizabeth Edwards any better than anyone else in the public. But every single day I thank God for the gift of books. And her books, Saving Graces and Resilience touched me deeply. After reading her books, I, like thousands of others, felt very close to her.
Several things I already knew.
My pastoral experience already taught me that the death of a child is life's most devastating grief. I am grateful I haven't experienced that horror. But, too many times, I have walked with parents as their pastor during this particular nightmare. There are many things in life that hurts. But the death of a child cuts to the core with a different vengeance. Her book Saving Graces is exquisite, poignant, wrenching and inspiring. There is no pain like the loss of a child.
But the infidelity of a marriage partner -- especially infidelity in the public eye--has got to rank right up there with the most agonizing and humiliating of life's setbacks. I don't underestimate the depth of grief that comes from the death of a husband. But there is a finality of death that doesn't include having to constantly re-live rejection, self-doubt, speculation and criticism of others and the emotional ravages of betrayal.
Then there's cancer. Especially cancer that is beyond cure. Just the diagnosis and fight of cancer is the challenge of a lifetime. The combination of those overwhelming life challenges is monstrous. Her determination to make a positive impact under the weight of all that adversity is stunning. No wonder the title of her book is Resilience. She certainly exemplified the topic.
Her death at such a young age broke my heart. And then, as I lived into the news of her death, I realized that, in death, she receives a peace and wholeness that she could never have had in this life. Her faith, her love for life and her passionate love for her children was as persistent and unrelenting as her optimism. But the glare of the public eye honed in on her pain, vulnerabilities and liabilities made it unlikely/impossible for her to ever have had peace. May you be in perfect and complete peace and wholeness, Elizabeth. Enjoy in fullness that you are God's beloved daughter and that you made an impact for the good in overwhelmingly difficult circumstances.
A friend of a friend (Holly Stencil) wrote this stunning tribute: "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and, when the wind did not go her way -- and surely it has not--she adjusted her sails. Thank you for your gracefulness, Elizabeth Edwards." Maybe that is the best of all definitions of success: to be able to be graceful in the face of adversity.

Living what we believe

2010-12-04T19:43:00.002-05:00

The way people fuss, one would think that people in the church are being asked to do some strange new thing. Rarely a week goes by that I don't get some forwarded email decrying "P.C."--as if that is some secular term and nobody has ever heard of doing unto others the way we would want others to do to us. Along with the denunciations of political correctness come a barrage of political hot button issues -- all of which beg the simple scrutiny of the question: Does the content of this email/conversation/attitude reflect the love that Jesus showed to others?
The simple clarifying question of Christianity is not "Is this the way we have done things before?" The simple clarifying question is: "Is this Christ-like?"
And the heart-wrenching, maddening reality is that, more often than not, people are raising a fuss over something that is nothing more than a call to Christianity 101: love your neighbor as yourself and Christ's new commandment to love others the way Christ loved us.
When people get mad about this call to apply the Christian faith, they are only showing that Christianity has been a superficial tip-of-the-hat instead of a holy lifestyle. Whether the subject is immigration, or fiscal issues or social issues, the heart of the question is not what any of us are comfortable with...not what we are used to...not our hot-headed opinions. The heart of every question before us can be centralized in the foundational question: "Is my attitude/conversation/action Christ-like?"
Too many times, the actions/conversations/attitudes of church people is not Christlike. That's the sad and simple truth. The voice of John the Baptist intrudes on our lives again in this Advent season saying: "Prepare the way of the Lord! Get your hearts right!"
I am grateful for the Christian year which reminds us that Christ's coming is much more than a sentimental memory of a baby born in a manger. Advent is a season that challenges us to take stock of our lives and, when we look at our conversations/actions/attitudes, we will see if Christ has really come yet or not. Do our lives bear the characteristics of the Beatitudes? Would the characteristics of 1st Corinthians 13 be a good description of the lives we lead? Does the fruit of the Spirit mark our attitudes and actions?
Wherever our lives do not measure up to the high calling of the Christian life, that is where we need to be praying for Christ to come into our lives. John the Baptist is calling us this Advent...reminding us that the most important ways we will be ready this season will have nothing to do with what is on our "to do" lists. The most important way to be ready for Christmas has to do with hearts open to and shaped by Christ.

The message is for generosity...

2010-11-22T16:41:00.002-05:00

One of my clergy was sharing a conversation with me. One of his laypersons was angry about the health care reform legislation passed by the congress. The pastor, rightly, said that the United Methodist Church has long been an advocate of health care coverage for all. But the layperson persisted: "But doesn't the Bible teach the importance of being frugal?"
I am not sure what the rest of the conversation was. But it was a teaching moment.
I've been thinking a lot about the layperson's question and -- let me say this respectfully--the message running through the Bible is not the importance of being frugal. I say that respectfully--almost wondering if lightning will strike me-- because I was raised by the most frugal -- and most saintly--mother in the world. She would never have considered using aluminum foil or wrapping paper just once. That would have been extravagant. We were more responsible than that! My parents were raised in the Depression and they didn't believe in wasting anything. I value their example.
However wise and prudent the virtue of frugality is, the Bible -- as I understand it--teaches the importance of generosity. I think we have the frugal virtue down pat.
The anxiety and fear generated (or accentuated) by the economic downturn seems to have given Christians amnesia about the importance of generosity...as if generosity (of spirit and money) is an acceptable option for times of abundance but not applicable for times of financial struggle. Where did we get the idea that we were called to be generous only in prosperity? That's not what the Bible teaches.
Jesus explicitly praises sacrificial giving. The widow who gave her mite was, obviously, not living in a time of prosperity. Yet she had a heart for giving to God and she found favor with Jesus in her giving.
It hardly seems fair to me that we would go into Thanksgiving week counting our blessings and then pride our selves on our frugality. Advent begins next week -- where God gave a generous and sacrificial gift of His Son--where Jesus gave up the glories of heaven to be born in Bethlehem. Against that backdrop, our complaining and our fears seem very small indeed.
The virtue of the Christian life is generosity. The time to be generous is all times. The call to be generous is for everyone. This season, as we count our blessings, let us show our gratitude by the generosity of our giving.

Getting tuned to the right source...

2010-11-09T08:18:00.002-05:00

I love to gain an hour.
I am certainly consistent about this. I hate losing an hour in the spring.
But gaining an hour feels like heaven.
So many days I (foolishly) think "If I had just one more hour"...and so many mornings, when I wake up, I think "If it was just an hour earlier....". Sunday was the day to gain an hour. I loved it.
I've had two problems with the time change through the years. One is my attitude about having the time change on a Sunday. People who would always remember to make the change to be at work on time forget about getting to church on time. The time change is always a reality check that we live in a world where people -- including people in the church--think that worship is not nearly as important as a number of other things they do.
The other problem is more practical: getting the clocks set. Do I set them ahead the night before? When I do that and the clock doesn't seem right in the morning, there's the inevitable time of double-check: have I already changed the clocks? So, for years, I would change ONE clock -- the alarm clock by my bed and leave the others so I could see the difference.
Now, I no longer have to do that. It's amazing, really.
I have a clock that is tuned into satellites. So it automatically gives the right time. No fuss, no muss, no bother. When power is restored after the electricity goes out, the clock automatically shows the correct time. I love it.
And this year, I learned that my GPS is the same way. It has the correct time with no resetting. And my Iphone is the same. Wonderful!
Basically, I learned that anything that is set to a signal beyond itself is going to be right no matter what happens. Everything that is not set to a signal beyond itself is going to need re-setting.
I love that life-snapshot.
The same thing is true for individual Christians and for churches: when we get our energy from a source beyond ourselves, we have peace no matter what else happens. How easy it is for people to get the fuel for their lives by schedules, family relationships and whatever the day brings. Like clocks that depend on batteries or electrical connections, re-setting is required. Tuning life to the life-source beyond ourselves in God is a major turn that makes all the difference.
The time I most need the "true time" is when the power has gone out at my house. And, all around us, people are living in circumstances where the power has gone out due to all kinds. When we are completely dependent on our own sources and life's storms and difficulties come, we recognize how inadequate the base has been. For those who are focused on a life source beyond themselves, life has a different quality, a different dependability, a different security no matter how big the storm or how severe the crisis. If I had one observation to make about the economic struggles of our nation, it is that we have learned that people have trusted money--not God-- for their security.
The true source of life: energy, wisdom, love, peace is beyond ourselves. The true source of life is found in Jesus and in serving others. "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you...not like the world's peace. So do not let your hearts be troubled and do not let them be afraid." John 14:27

Don't let All Saints get lost...this week or EVER!

2010-10-31T08:51:00.002-04:00

Having grandchildren is a delight any way you look at it. Through the eyes of my 5 year old and 3 year old grandsons, I've had a front row seat down memory lane remembering how exciting Halloween is....the dilemma of choosing what to be, the thrill of dressing up in costume and savoring the "haul" of candy. Halloween is a high holy day for little children ranking right up there with Christmas. (I'm pretty sure Christmas is still #1 because Halloween doesn't have presents...)
As my little ones grow, I hope they will also grow into another dimension of the gift of Halloween--the "All Hallows Eve" origin...which said that the evil, negative, fear-inducing forces of this world had to work their fury on October 31--All Hallows Eve--because they knew that once All Saints Day dawned November 1, their power would disappear. Interesting to me that, according to the tradition, even the evil spirits knew that they couldn't compete with the powerful influence of godly Christian people!
It's not just little ones who need to learn the deeper meaning of Halloween. Halloween is the time for us to get perspective (perfect timing to be on Sunday this year!) that fear and evil and negativity don't have power once people focus the gift of eternal life and the communion of the saints. Halloween becomes the church's way of looking at fear and evil and saying, "Go ahead! Give it your best shot! No way you can compete with God's power! Even the worst you can do on earth (death) will be conquered by the Lord of life!"
How I wish we could reclaim that credo. Our world is full of fear. But the power of God at work in human life for good has not been vanquished. How did we -- people of professed faith--become such cowards? Such insecure, vulnerable people?
Don't let All Saints Day get lost!! All Saints is Easter celebrated in a different way --personalized with the names of our loved ones--a reminder of the victory of Christ that nothing in this world can take away. Those who are grounded in Christ need not fear through any storm (freshly personal after last Tuesday's tornados), any disease, any accident, any setback, any financial uncertainty, any hardship. God's power--and the influence of godly people--puts fear and evil in its place. This Halloween/All Saints is a great invitation to lift our eyes beyond the fear that surrounds us to the God who saves us. Happy Halloween! Happy All Saints indeed!

Lost in the uproar: Discretion. Responsibility

2010-10-23T08:37:00.003-04:00

First of all, let's be clear: this is my opinion. It is only my opinion. As the blog disclaimer clearly states, my words do not represent any official opinion of the Western North Carolina Conference. My opinion. That's what the blog-form conveys. Having said that, here's my opinion:

We have lost our minds in this country.
My observation is that we as a culture are going through a very immature phase. I pray that it is a phase. The phase is characterized by an independent streak that declares itself consistently like this: "This is a free country. I can do whatever I please." And the corollary of this declaration of freedom is this: "And, if you try to stop me from saying or doing whatever I want, I will attack you for violating my freedom." Whoa. I hear it in the culture and run into it in the church every day. Friends (this is my opinion and only my opinion), we are on the wrong track!
Does anyone believe that "I can do anything I want to" honors the freedom? Or that it builds up our common life? Or that, more pertinent to me and those who would read my opinion, does "I can do whatever I want to!!!" bear any resemblance to Christian faith? Paul had this same fight with the Galatians when they misunderstood freedom in Christ. Just because they were free in Christ did not mean they had license to sin. Freedom does not mean that now I can do whatever I want.
This is a constant uproar in our country. People in public say untrue things, distorted things (especially in election time), extreme things and divisive things--and defend their irresponsibility with an appeal to freedom of speech. It makes me crazy. Just because you live in a country where you have the freedom to say something false doesn't mean it is right for anyone to be misleading or false. Freedom of speech is not a permission slip for dishonesty. Freedom carries responsibility for all citizens. For Christians, doubly so. It is wrong to say "I live in a country which values freedom of speech. That means I can say anything I want to." That's an attitude of irresponsibility.
The way it looks to me is that public figures are actually penalized for discretion. Discretion doesn't make headlines. Discretion doesn't feed sensationalization-hungry media who are looking for the shocking angle to sucker people into the drama. "No boundaries" is the current modus operandi of our culture. It is breaking my heart, it is tearing us up as a people and it is undermining the Christian faith.
I am not an expert on responsibility and discretion for any platform except the church. That's an area that every pastor -- and especially every DS--needs to be an expert in because we have a corollary freedom: the freedom of speech in the pulpit. One of the greatest gifts of the United Methodist Church to its people is the gift of a free pulpit. That is, our congregations do not hire and they do not fire their pastors. We believe that serves our churches well in many ways -- but one of the most important is the freedom of the pastor to preach his/her conscience without fear of being fired. It's hard -- not impossible, but very hard--to speak God's prophetic word if the congregation can get together the next day, fire you and leave you and your family homeless and jobless. United Methodists have a sending ministry and, thereby, our preachers have a free pulpit. We encourage our pastors to study, pray and preach what God lays on their heart. Preaching God's word freely is the gift of the free pulpit and the greatest benefit to any congregation.
But we also insist that the platform of the pulpit is a place of responsibility. And I am now part of the accountability system in place that shows how much the church values responsibility. Just because our preachers are free to preach God's Word does not mean they are free to mis-use the pulpit for personal passions. For example, while I have very passionate political convictions, it is not appropriate for me to use my platform position with people to tell them who to vote for in the election. That would be irresponsible and I have never done it. I can appropriately urge members in the congregation to vote. But I would misuse my freedom and my place of influence as a pastor to tell people who to vote for--or to publicly criticize a church member from the pulpit. That would be wrong -- even if my criticism is fully justified. Freedom is not license to tear people up. Speaking your mind doesn't require that you tell it all. There's a responsibility that goes along with a platform.
And that's what we are missing in this country. People with a platform think that they can say or do anything they want. I strenuously disagree. People with a platform --an entre into people's lives have a responsibility to be honest, balanced and responsible in what they say. I cannot conceive of any thinking Christian disagreeing with that.
And yet, many Christians tune into --and let their thoughts be shaped by--politicians and media who do not live out standards of honesty, discretion or responsibility. In fact, some people deliberately tune into the strident voices. While it may have more entertainment value to listen to people rant and rave than to get a balanced picture, tuning to heated opinions rather than measured assessments has a terrible price for the listener--and we are paying a terrible price in our country and our communities and our churches. The overspill is toxic. The effect on people's well being and relationships is devastating.
I would not tell people, even in my blog, where to get their information. Even though this is my opinion and only my opinion, I still feel a sense of responsibility to an ethical and fair presentation of issues. But I have questions for all freedom-loving, freedom-benefitting Christians:
1. Do you get information about the world from one or from multiple sources?
2. Does your preferred information provider have a reputation for reliable, balanced information or opinions that largely reflect one perspective?
3. Do you believe everything your information provider says or do you check out the facts of something that was reported before you get upset?
4. Does your information provider slant reports in drastic terms, use sensational language? Is there name-calling and criticism of others as part of the coverage?
5. Does listening to your information provider help you love others or be a more faithful disciple of Jesus Christ?

Questions 1 - 4 give you important clues to the integrity of whatever you choose to give your attention to. Question 5 is truly the key question for all Christians.

No wonder people are unnerved...the markers have changed

2010-10-17T08:17:00.003-04:00

Like many other church members, I have gotten used to telling if someone was a Christian by whether or not they are sitting in the pew on Sunday morning. To be honest, I am not sure that has ever been a good marker. Some of the most unchristian verbal exchanges and actions have come from those people who didn't miss a Sunday.
There is a big shock factor for people to hear, read and experience how many young adults have left the church behind. These young adults are, for the most part, spiritual seekers. But they didn't see transformation in the lives of those who raised them in church. That's a simplistic -- but important--part of the analysis. The competition for the time of people is fierce and, in the press of life, people (of all ages -- but especially young adults ) are choosing to spend their time where it makes a difference. And, for too many of them, church is not the place where they see a life-changing difference.
So the challenge for the church (and, in my opinion, the GIFT to the church) is to get up off our blessed assurance and superficial measurements and show the life-changing difference of Christ in our lives. That's a big shift -- but it shouldn't be. This shift to showing personal signs of transformation should be second nature to lives grounded in Christ.
For too long, we have let the definition of Christian to equal showing up for worship at 11:00 on Sunday morning. Those days are over (whether people realize it or not). Our younger generations are handing us an opportunity to show Christ's redemptive grace in our lives by the way we talk (or don't talk) about others, our willingness to forgive, our love of those who do us wrong and Christlike attitudes of welcome to all, healing grace and humility. Young adults are not looking to see who has perfect attendance on Sunday morning. They are looking to see who has changed lives. It's a big shift for those who are used to thinking that they took care of being a Christian by warming the pew Sunday morning at 11:00.
This is, in my opinion, a change in the right direction. Methodists have always believed that what we profess should make a visible difference in our lives. People should be able to identify us as Christians because of our love for each other, our respect for God's creation and our Christlike behavior every day of the week. If we sit in the pew every Sunday and don't have love for others, we have missed the point. And, from where I sit, way too many have been regular church attenders and have entirely missed the main point of the gospel: that we should love others the way Christ has loved us.
Don't misunderstand me. I am a big fan of people attending church. But attendance is not the same as a transformed life. Attendance at inspiring worship with a community of loving people helps us understand and receive the transforming love of Christ. I want our lost generation of young adults back in church. But the bigger picture is for the church to be the place for the redeeming, life-changing experiences for disciples of Jesus Christ. Our young adults won't come back to sit in a pew for boring worship. But I believe they will come back for a church experience that makes a difference for their difficult decisions, their attitudes toward others, the strength to forgive and heartache for life's sorrow.
We have our work cut out for us. But our goal is simply to follow Jesus fully...to get back to our Methodist roots of moving on toward perfection. If we make this change, it will be a blessing for all of us.

A small shift -- but a BIG difference

2010-10-10T08:32:00.002-04:00

I was excited at the change of questions for churches at Charge Conference. The annual report of the church's activities has, in my opinion, not served churches well. Giving a report of the state of the church has, most of the time, turned into a list of activities. Very often, it is a comprehensive list of ALL the church's activities for the past year--which can be heard with very little insight into the state of the church. And, much more important than the "state of the church" is how people are growing in their relationship to God.
So this year, we are asking a different question...a more important question:
WHERE HAVE YOU SEEN GOD IN THE LIFE OF YOUR CHURCH and
WHAT DIFFERENCE HAS YOUR CHURCH MADE IN YOUR COMMUNITY?
I talked about the change with my pastors face-to-face. I sent a letter to every Administrative Council chairs describing the change. I thought that would be a clear introduction to the change of question.
I was wrong.
My Charge Conference experience so far this year has taught me that when people are used to doing things one way, no matter what you have on the paperwork, no matter what you have said to them, they are going to do what they are used to doing. I introduce each Charge Conference with a little explanation of the change of what we are asking from the churches. I explain that the shift is prayerful and deliberate...that this year, we are asking for a TESTIMONY, not a report of activities. People politely sit there and nod affirmingly. And then, when it is time for the report of the church, they do exactly what I have said we are not going to do this year. Amazing.
This week, one church read a list of activities. I thanked them. And then I repeated the question: "What we want to hear in our Charge Conference setting is where you have seen God in the life of your church and what difference has it made in the community. I'll give you a minute to think about it."
I am certain that this church -- and others--were not trying to be uncooperative when they made their list of activities for the Charge Conference report. They were just doing what they were used to doing. I don't want to embarrass any one (or any church) at Charge Conference, but I think it is of prime importance for them to answer the question we are asking: WHERE HAVE YOU SEEN GOD IN THE LIFE OF YOUR CHURCH?
Just because a chicken pie supper is held at the church doesn't mean anyone has seen God at work through that activity. Just because a Sunday School class visits shut-ins once a month doesn't mean that they have seen God in their visits. Just because a church held a community-wide worship service on Good Friday doesn't mean they have seen God in that service. In fact, my experience says that the longer the tradition (of the barbeque, the outreach, the joint workship service--whatever) the less people recognize God at work in the activity. Whether it is fundraisers or projects, a sense of obligation sets in and it seems to be harder for people to see how God has been active in their midst.
Our activities tell about our effort. This year, we are asking people to focus on God and how they have seen God active in their midst. And if that is a huge shift of mindset for people, then I think the church has been failing to ask the right question for a long time. And unintentionally, perhaps, we have let people think that their activities, just because they were church activities, were kingdom-building and faith-enhancing. In our hearts, we all know that is not so. We know plenty of church activities that only bring tiredness and discouragement.
I didn't think the change of question was a major shift. But apparently it is.
That's fine. We're just going to keep at it. Because the church, of all places, should be clear on where and how God is working in life. The Christian, of all persons, should be clear on where we see God at work in our lives. So I'll keep explaining. I'll keep reminding. I'll persist until people answer the question they have been given. Not "What have you done?" but "Where have you seen God at work?"

The First Sin

2010-09-27T20:33:00.002-04:00

Through the centuries, the church has often pointed to Eve eating the apple in the Garden of Eden as the first sin. I'm not so sure. I have always felt like the first sin was Adam standing back in silence when he knew she shouldn't eat the apple of that tree. (After all, the command not to eat of that tree was given directly to Adam). But there he stood, in silence, as Eve tries to match wits with the snake. And then, without her partner so much as whispering a caution, eating the apple.
Go ahead and blame the woman if you want to. But I think the sin that has caused more heartache, grief and regrets is Adam's sin: the sin of silence--the sin of not speaking up when you know something is wrong.
Today, one of our United Methodist Churches held a funeral for one of our Christian brothers who knew what it was like to live with the regrets of silence. Woody Cooper was a student at Harding High when, on September 4, 1957, Dorothy Counts became the first black student at the school. The picture of this history-making day flashed around the world -- a sea of white students taunting her, throwing things at her, spitting at her. And Woody Cooper was in that picture.
He wasn't one of the students who threw things or spit at her. But, through the years, he carried a burden of regret that he hadn't stood up for her on that history-making day. Nearly 50 years later, Woody's Sunday School teacher, Sam Smith, was leading a lesson about the sins of omission. The teacher asked if anyone had a sin of omission on their heart. Woody raised his hand and said, "Dorothy Counts". That's when his Sunday School class learned that Woody had been one of the white boys in the world-famous picture on the steps of Harding High School. The next day, Woody Cooper tried to contact Dorothy Counts and apologize.
Their correspondence took some time, but they became friends. The night before he died, she visited with him in the hospital. Today, Dorothy Counts was the one in the crowd -- at his funeral.
49 years is a long time to live with regrets.
I am wondering if the story of Woody Cooper can give us courage to avoid those regrets--to silence our fears instead of our voices; to take a stand for what is right when it matters most. The story of the friendship of Woody Cooper and Dorothy Counts shows that God is working for redemption through all things. But there are moments in history that can't be reclaimed. What might the picture have been in 1957 if Christian white students spoke up and stood up and protected their black sister as she integrated Harding High School? That moment will never come again.

Such a big difference...

2010-09-21T11:20:00.002-04:00

This is the time of year that, when pastors ask what season it is during Children's time, some little one is going to say "Football!" As schools resume and summer turns into fall, the wonderful world of high school, college and professional football cranks up. Saturday afternoon, I watched the Duke/Alabama football game (or, at least I watched as much of it as I could bear). If Duke was going to be brave enough to play the #1 team in the nation, I felt like I should watch. I noticed something. At halftime, when the TV commentators are walking the coach off the field, the Alabama coach -- whose team was ahead by a trillion points--said they were going to have to work harder toward the high standard they set for Alabama football.
Hmmm. There was no smug "we are killing them, look how good we are" kind of attitude. The coach went into the locker room saying that they had things they needed to work on, things they needed to improve, things he needed to bring to their attention.

I contrast this attitude with the attitude I find in too many churches -- which is an attitude of being offended at the suggestion there is anything they might want to improve. Somehow, it's an insult to many of our church members that they might need to improve their welcome, improve their stewardship, do a better job of reaching out to their community, etc. Instead of churches adopting the attitude "We have a high standard and we are not going to stop until we're the very best we can be", too many churches have the attitude "We are doing just fine. Don't insult us with the idea that there are ways we need to change or improve."
Amazing. And the stark contrast is even more heart-breaking because the statistics show that with the competition of the culture shifts, many of our churches are NOT doing just fine. They are declining.
Make no mistake about it: Alabama has a great football team this year. But they are great because they don't go around congratulating themselves on how great they are. They are great because they are working at it. They don't take things for granted (even an opponent like Duke) and they keep looking for things they can do better. I'm not a Crimson Tide fan, but I am a big fan of the attitude that makes them great.
United Methodism's founder and first coach, John Wesley, was passionate about a constant need to grow for Christians. His teaching about Christian perfection is one of the unique hallmarks of United Methodism. John Wesley would not recognize a church that said, "We are doing just fine. We don't need to revitalize. We don't need to change." He would absolutely not understand any Christian who said, "Leave us alone. We like things just the way they are." John Wesley had a divine impatience that fueled a constant drive to growth--a more perfect love. United Methodists were ALWAYS geared to grow in holiness.
The United Methodist way -- whether a church is thriving or struggling--is to say, "What can we do better? How can we grow in our faithfulness to Christ? How can we be more effective in sharing God's love with the world?" A church that just wants to congratulate itself is in deep trouble spiritually, no matter what the numbers are. If football teams and coaches understand the constant need for improvement, shouldn't our churches--with the most important mission in the world--be thoroughly committed to being the best we can be for Christ?

The Melody Matters

2010-09-05T14:59:00.002-04:00

Two years ago, life took an unexpected turn.
Just weeks into a drastic change of ministry appointment, the discovery of a malignant thyroid tumor took my topsy turvey life and threw me a whole new learning curve. One piece of bad news led to another. Grace preceded me at every turn. At the end of the surgery, my brilliant surgeon told my family that, after 5 hours of tedious work, he had not been able to get all the cancer and, further, that damage had been done to my vocal chords.
I could go through additional treatment for the cancer. I have and will continue to go for that. But my voice? Only time would tell.
Time told us that my vocal chords had been significantly damaged. My speaking voice came back. But my singing voice was gone. For months, I cried every time I tried to sing the hymns when I went to worship. Nine months later, when I asked my surgeon if I would sing again, he didn't lecture me about how grateful I should be for the speaking voice I had considering the circumstances. But he didn't mislead me either. Would I sing again? "No." Then, seeing the expression on my face, he said, "Well, let's do a consult with the Voice Clinic."
He didn't tell me that a consult with the Voice Clinic included swallowing a camera which verified and recorded the damage. Yikes. But that consult led to specialized voice therapy which basically told me that if I would be diligent about breathing differently, doing voice exercises every day, relaxation regimens, drink impossible amounts of water, and had faith in my damaged voice that I would be able to sing again. No small challenge.
Through following all (or most -- or many--) of these recommendations, I have learned to develop a decent alto voice. After all this work and effort, singing again should be thrilling. But often, it is miserable.
My frustration with singing alto doesn't have to do with my voice or my ear for harmony. To sing alto, you have to depend on others to really sing the melody. Because no matter how strong your voice is or how good your ear is, if the melody isn't clear, you can't harmonize. The melody doesn't make the sound of all the parts. But the clarity of the melody is what makes it possible for the other parts to add the harmony. When the melody is not clear, all my work goes out the window. Voice or no voice, it sounds awful.

I believe the same thing happens in the church in terms of leadership. The leadership of the church -- lay and clergy--are the ones to sing together the melody of mission for Jesus. The importance of the unity and clarity of this melody cannot possibly be overestimated. Because if the melody of Christ-centeredness is not clear, the mission of the church will be lost and the turmoil of power struggles and resistance will inundate the church.
That's why I have been telling my Nominating Committees that they are crucial partners in the mission of the local church. If they take their job as shuffling names on empty lines instead of evaluating the positive influence of laity in their congregations, the church will be derailed from its mission for Christ. I have told them that without constructive, cooperative, teachable lay leadership, the church will not move forward even with the most gifted pastor.
Lay leadership has long been a priority in United Methodism. Our appointment system is designed to insure that churches are not built around their pastors. And our committees on Nominations and Lay Leadership hold the sacred -- and powerful--and challenging trust to nominate lay leaders who are faithful to their membership vows, Christlike in their actions and positive in their influence in the church.
I have told Nominations members that any lay person who is constantly critical and openly oppositional to the pastor disqualifies himself/herself from leadership. To give or sustain leadership positions to people who are not constructively working with the pastor is to ensure and entrench turmoil in the church. Clergy and lay leaders do not always need to agree. But there needs to be the one central melody of focus on the mission of the church, mutual respect and Christlike behavior. We have a multi-layer system of accountability for the clergy in these areas. And now, during this fall season, we depend on Nominating Committees to put the mission of the church above everything in their important work.
Unless the clergy and laity are singing the melody of Christ first with strength and clarity, no one else can provide the harmony and beauty that lifts the heart and inspires the faith. We are in this together or not at all. There is only one melody. If the lay leaders and clergy aren't singing the same melody, the church will move into the new year profoundly crippled.
Pray for those who sing the melody. Everyone else depends on them.

What If It Were Today?

2010-08-31T14:35:00.002-04:00

My car is full of gas.
Since the doctor said the baby could come any time over two weeks ago, I have had the car packed with anything I would need for a several days' stay:
Medicine? Check.
Clothes? Check.
Toiletries? Check.
Favorite pillow? Check.
Camera with empty media card and charged battery? Check.
Gift bags to take to the hospital for the boys when the baby is born? Check.
Now, all I need is the phone call that my daughter is in labor and heading for the hospital. Check. Check. Check....

Living "ready" has been an interesting experience.
I never let the gas guage get below 3/4 tank.
I always have cash (in defiance of the young adult mentality that all you need to carry is your bank card...).
I make it a point to go on to bed at night and get plenty of sleep.
Being ready is more than being excited about the baby coming. Being ready takes thought and planning and care.

When I was a child growing up at revivals and camp meetings, there was a hymn: "Jesus is coming to earth again! What if it were today?" And, I guess other than the early Advent emphasis of the second coming of Christ, I haven't given a lot of thought to living ready. I believe I am ready. I have always dismissed the incessant infatuation with the Second Coming as speculation that is an unfortunate energy drain. Following Jesus closely is the best prescription I know for being ready.

In these days when I have been waiting for the arrival of my first grand daughter, I've thought more about living ready. In the onslaught of my work, there are times that my spiritual fuel get lower than 3/4 tank full. There are times that I am not careful to have the spiritual resources I need for whatever surprising circumstance is around the corner. I am not always careful to get the healing rest I need.

Waiting for our little Mia Rosalie to be born reminds me that maybe I haven't been living as ready for Jesus as I thought. I am completely ready for him in my heart. But maybe I should be more attentive to the practical applications of being ready. I need to continue to live ready long after Mia is born -- ready for the One who is even more important and precious than my granddaughter: Jesus, my Lord and Savior.

Barely holding back the tears...

2010-08-24T16:41:00.004-04:00

My adorable 5 year old wonderful grandson starts kindergarten this week.
I can barely think about it without crying.
How did he get to be 5 in just the blink of an eye? Tyler (3) Connor (5)

He is the most amazing child.

I know, I have heard other grandparents gush over their grandchildren. But I am not exaggerating when I talk about my grandson. He is beautiful and affectionate and tender-hearted and lively and free-thinking and joyful about life.

He is also a tease. "Grammy," he said last week, "What is your favorite thing?" "My grandsons" I replied, immediately (thinking he was fishing for affirmation).

"What is your next favorite thing?" he asked. "Duke basketball", I replied.

Then he looked at me and solemnly announced, "Well, MY favorite thing is GOD."

Guess he showed me!

He fills me with love only grandparents could comprehend and, as you can see, keeps me on my toes. And now, he is going to KINDERGARTEN. It feels like the beginning of the end... He is ready and eager and I am holding back the tears.

For years, I have shared this essay with parents whose children are going to kindergarten...I re-did the "son" to "daughter" and sent it to the teachers when my daughters went to kindergarten--crying through every sentence. This year, it's for Connor:

Teach Him Gently...If You Can

My young son starts school tomorrow...it's all going to be strange and new for him for a while and I wish you would sort of treat him gently.

You see, up to now, he's been our little boy.

He's always been the boss of the backyard and his mother has always been around to repair his wounds and I have been there to soothe his feelings.

But now, things are going to be different...

This morning, he's going to walk down the steps, wave his hand and start out on the great adventure -- it's an adventure that will include heartache and tragedy and sorrow.

To live his life in the world he will live in

requires faith and love and courage.

So, world, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand

and teach him the things he will have to know.

Teach him -- but gently--if you can.

He will have to learn that everyone is not just and not every one is true.

But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero;

that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader

that for every enemy, there is a friend.

It will take time, I know, but teach him, if you can

that a nickel earned is more valuable than a dollar found

Teach him to learn to lose -- and to enjoy winning.

Steer him away from envy, if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter.

Let him learn early not to be afraid of bullies and those who would do him wrong.

Teach him the wonder of books but also give him quiet time

to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun

and flowers on the hillside.

In school, world, teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat...

Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if others laugh at his creativity.

Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough people.

Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd

when everyone else is getting on the bandwagon.

Teach him to listen to everyone -- but teach him also to filter all hearts

on the screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad...

Teach him that there is no shame in tears...

Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success.

Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beward of too much sweetness.

Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob and stand up and fight for what is right.

Teach him gently, world, but don't coddle him.

I know that only the test of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage to be impatient and the patience to be brave.

Teach him to have faith in himself and most of all, to have faith in the God

who will be with him wherever he goes.

adapted from unknown author

I thank God for this amazing little boy, my grandson. And pray that his adventure of life learning always guides him toward his best self.

May God bless and guide parents and teachers and everyone who serves as an example for our beloved little ones.

And help me not to cry too much as my little man heads to kindergarten.

The effect of hard times...

2010-08-23T14:53:00.003-04:00

I'm still searching in the Bible for the life-truth that my daughters and I often quote from one of our favorite movies, Steel Magnolias: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." That's just too true to not be included in the Scripture.
I am certain that the effect of hard times is one of the most clarifying signs of Christian character. Going through a crisis can be just the experience that opens your heart to others in difficult circumstances. Going through a hard time can also be just the experience that makes you more insecure, afraid and cold to the suffering of others.
Though we rarely choose the tragedies that invade our lives, we always choose our response. We may not have chosen the economic downturn, the job loss, the cancer diagnosis, the broken marriage, the premature death of a loved one. But in every instance, we choose its affect on us.
I have seen both sides of this. Sometimes, the tragic death of a loved one turns people into the very best Stephen ministers, friends and compassionate church members. Hardship can make a heart more open to the suffering of others, more tender to the struggles and griefs that others carry.
Hardship can also create a hardened shell around a heart. Have you noticed that sometimes people who went through a hard time carry that struggle like a badge of honor and don't blink when others suffer? "I went through it; it won't hurt them." A classic example of that is the doctors who trained under "old school" regimens of inhumane numbers of hours on call as interns and residents--80, sometimes over 100 hours per week on call. Now, with new guidelines surfacing to limit the number of hours that interns and residents can be on call to a more reasonable 60 hours a week, sometimes it is old school physicians who raise the loudest objections. Seems to me they would be the most sympathetic and glad for something to change for the good of others (both doctors AND patients)
I see the same dynamic surfacing in conversations about salaries. "Well," one layperson said to me, "I didn't get a salary raise this year. So I don't think the preacher should get a raise either." As the conversation went on, it was clear that not getting a salary raise had really hurt the layperson. So wouldn't it make more Christian love sense for the layperson to say, "I know how much it hurts to not get a raise. I want something better for my preacher..." (or my daughter, or my neighbor). Is this a "misery loves company" response?
I came into the ministry during the very early days of female clergy. I don't date back to John Wesley, but I came in less than 20 years after the full ordination of women was approved (in 1956). I had a hard time. I qualified for elder's ordination under 4 different Disciplines. And that was just the beginning of the obstacles, the ridicule and the opposition that I went through. But, I put those hard experiences to work to make me an avid advocate of a better church for my daughters and their daughters. It would never occur to me to say, "Well, I had it hard, so it's just fine if they experience prejudice and opposition."
Hardship -- in whatever form--is painful. But hardship is downright tragic if it hardens instead of opens a heart.

The Jesus Test

2010-08-18T09:51:00.002-04:00

I am very glad for people to send emails to me. Really, I am.
Over 700 people across my district have signed up for my emails, so I get the privilege of sending out emails to lots of people I wouldn't otherwise have a chance to communicate with. I feel it is only right to welcome emails that people send to me. The communication highway, at its best, runs both ways.
I got one this week that was full of beautiful -- actually, stunning--pictures of the life of Christ. They were so striking that I printed them out to put in my Bible.
When I was looking over the printout, I noticed there was a "tag" at the end of the pictures. The tag said that Jesus "is the only one that can save this country and they want Him removed from the government. Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our govenment as the atheists want." Then there was the closing request: "The Jesus Test: 'Jesus said, if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.' This is the simplest test. If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things He has done for you, send this email to a lot of people."
Oh dear.
I would gladly have passed on the beautiful scenes of the life of Christ. But it broke my heart that people could reverently review the scenes of the life of Christ and then think that the "Jesus Test" would be to send an email defying the atheists.
That would be understandable, I guess, except that the teachings of Jesus are so clear about what a true Jesus test is. Jesus was absolutely, penetratingly clear: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." (John 15:12) That is the Jesus test. That -- and nothing else. And how did Jesus love us:? Graceful acceptance, patient guidance, constant forgiveness, sacrificial loving.
The teaching of Jesus makes clear what the Jesus test is: love for others. Since Jesus was very explicit in teaching and example about loving his enemies, it would seem to me that the Jesus test would be how faithfully Christians love atheists. So, to my way of thinking, you could send a thousand emails and still fail the true Jesus test. Wouldn't the real Jesus test be to find an atheist and do something kind?
I still love the scenes of Christ that came with the email. So odd to me that people could look through them, recall the life of Christ and then get side-tracked about Christ's clear intention for his followers.
How many times do we look at pictures of Christ and, by forgetting Christ's teaching and example, miss the true picture?

One simple phrase = One huge difference

2010-08-03T18:22:00.002-04:00

One simple phrase. That's all I ask. Just follow one simple phrase:

ASK before you ACCUSE

What a world of difference that alone would make!

I got an email this week from someone who was blasting the conference and the bishop and the church. The email didn't attack me by name. But trust me, I was included on the receiving end of the tirade. To read the concerns of this person, you couldn't help but draw the conclusion that people in leadership were insensitive, unbelievably stupid and careless in their decisions. Whoa.

I will be the first one to say there are concerns about the church. And I will be foremost among those who defend the right of people to speak freely. And more than that, I further believe in encouraging people to speak freely and have spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how to incorporate that principle into this new position of ministry.

But could people just ASK before they rattle off a litany of ACCUSATIONS?

If the writer had framed the attacks as questions, the author could have learned that the concerns of heart were shared concerns; that action had already been taken to make things better/different/right; that the people being attacked have a great concern for/heart for the struggles people have. But, instead of lifting up concerns as questions or inquiries, the concerns were attacks that led to all kinds of accusations and far-fetched assumptions.

I'm going to have to learn to receive these better. I can count to ten and not respond in kind. I have learned how to write, re-write, pray and re-write some more. I have learned to forgive and, as I have been recently surprised, I have learned that people sometimes apologize. Maybe politicians learn to disregard the constant barbs, but I am not the only pastor that finds that very difficult to do. Attacking words hurt. And even if an apology comes later, it hurts to pour energy,heart and soul into building up people and the church and then to be lambasted for all kinds of things that really don't apply.

Couldn't people learn to ASK before they ACCUSE? That one guideline would save everyone a lot of unnecessary negative emotion, heartache and hurt feelings.

Keep communicating. But everyone would be better off if people could learn to ASK before they ACCUSE.

Take the deeper look

2010-07-22T06:46:00.002-04:00

Don't be deceived by the swirl of news. What happened to Shirley Sherrod in our nation this week is deeper than race. I do not minimize the racial component and I pray that I never under estimate the damage that racial prejudice does in this world.
At the same time, I see this same dynamic at work in the church and in the world all the time when there is no racial component. Here's how it goes:
1. Somebody has an agenda/a point to make. They don't care how they make it or who gets hurt in the process. In fact, the way they go about making their point is designed to hurt someone -- often someone innocent.
Those with an agenda are so caught up in their hurt feelings, their cause that they willing to violate every basic constraint of honesty, common respect and integrity. That's step #1.

2. Step #2 is gullibility. People are so gullible that they will believe anything. News/sensation-saturated people will believe a lie in a heartbeat.

3. Step #3 is fear. Constant criticism takes a toll on even the best leaders in the church, in the nation and in the world. Keeping perspective is a constant challenge and a climate of constant criticism eats away at the core of people. At a certain point, they react instead of act. And a reaction is almost always misguided.

That's what happened in the case of Shirley Sherrod. Someone had an agenda. They carefully, deliberately crafted and distributed a video clip that was designed to distort and deceive. Christians of ALL political persuasions should rise up and say that this was wrong. And then, instead of calling out the malicious slandering for what it was, people believed it without getting the whole story. The rush to judgment -- made on all sides--was like a stampede of stupidity. Caution and careful thinking evaporated. And, fear only complicated and deepened the sins that were being committed in this situation to an innocent person.

Lest anyone think that this dynamic is something to criticize in any one political administration, let me say that I see this same dynamic regularly in churches. Someone has an agenda. It is often hurt feelings, a power dynamic or a personal grudge. They have a point to make and, by golly, they are going to be heard. They forget completely about the Golden Rule, the teachings of Christian faith and they go after an audience. (Often it is the District Superintendent! :) ) The fundamental dishonesty of people hell bent on making a point is mind-boggling. And yes, I am talking about people in church. There's a reason the Bible cautions over and over against dishonesty, gossip and slander.

The gullibility of people is also astonishing. People will believe anything. I don't have an explanation for it. This defies rational definition. Time after time, as a pastor and as a District Superintendent, I have had people come to me with tales that, without any research, I know are not true. Once a salacious rumor starts, it's like people throw every teaching of sober judgment out the window. Amazing. There's a reason that much of Scripture is devoted to guiding people to be thoughtful, careful and wise in decision-making.

And then, there is the fear -- fear of what others will think, fear of being attacked, fear of what malicious people will do. Only God knows how many people have compromised their witness and how much faithful ministry has been destroyed because of this fear. There's a reason the Bible teaches over and over "Do not be afraid". Fear leads to sin and very poor decisions.

When people have an axe to grind, hurt feelings to express, a point to make, people ought to say: STOP. Don't do the wrong thing for the wrong reason. When people attack others with lies and innuendo, people ought to say: STOP. Think about it. Get the whole story. When people are afraid, people ought to say: STOP! Fear is an almost certain sign that another mistake is about to be made. Make decisions from faith, not fear.

The cycle we are witnessing on the news is a parable I see played out in churches all the time. I watch it and weep. I watch it and pray that we will learn to rise above it in this horribly antagonistic, contentious world.

I think this is progress...

2010-07-20T20:27:00.002-04:00

Let me be clear: no one from the Obama administration or the NAACP or Tea Party or conservative commentators have called to ask my opinion. (I have that problem a lot). I think I could help people if they would just call and ask my opinion before they make statements or take action. The situation of the accusations/firing of Shirley Sherrod is one I am pretty sure I could have helped.
The pressures and immediate reactions of our culture are traits that lead directly to false accusations and shallow thinking. My parents told me to think before I speak. Now people make a name for themselves -- and many make a living--by speaking before they think. My parents taught me to get the whole story before making a judgment. Now people make headlines and often financial profit from taking a slice of a story and deliberately distorting it. My debate coach taught me to make my best presentation with the facts but never falsify the facts. And now, people regularly falsify the facts without blinking. And, most importantly, my Christian faith taught me to do unto others what I would want others to do unto me...and to love others the way Jesus loved. Every day the media blasts -- and some specialize in--doing exactly the opposite. The worst of it all, in my opinion, is that some of those people who behave in overtly unchristian practices like to claim the name Christian.
At the same time, I have to savor some delight in hearing the vehement denials of Tea Party people that they are racist. As messy as this incident is, I can't help but see that as progress. 25 years ago in Mississippi, my experience with people who shared the same political anti-big-government philosophy of the Tea Party members was that they were racist and proud of it. Claiming to be a racist was a badge of honor--not only a common way of living in the world, but a proud, patriotic way to be citizens of this country. I am horrified that there are still elements of that philosophy -- people who openly, defiantly, unapologetically claim that they are white supremacists. But one interesting thing that this current flap points out is that even very politically conservative people in this country seem now to understand that being racially prejudiced violates the core values of our country. That's a big shift.
I still see a lot in our nation that tells me that racism is still eating away at our character and working its destructiveness in our society. But if we have come to a common, acknowledged recognition that racism is wrong, we have taken an essential step that---- just in my lifetime --is a giant step forward and something to build on.

Loving the questions

2010-07-16T18:59:00.002-04:00

Oh, how I miss the theological exchanges that come in the course of pastoral ministry!
While I was raise in a church that valued the ANSWERS, I have grown to value the place of QUESTIONS and making room for questions.
This week, I called into a doctor's office with questions about an upcoming procedure. The receptionist said, "I'll have the nurse call back with the answer." To which I replied, "But you don't know my question!" The church of my life has often been like that -- giving an answer before knowing the question. Sometimes, it's the questions that make us grow most.
I've been thinking all week about a heartfelt and sincere question that was asked to my father by a young adult who has a very bright theological mind. The context was following a funeral of a wonderfully committed, devout Christian father, grandfather, great-grandfather. The funeral service included The Apostle's Creed...which led to my friend's question: "I've always wondered why the Creed jumps immediately from the birth of Jesus to his suffering and death, leaving out his life." I had to say it again to myself, kind of like I sing the songs with the disciples' names or the alphabet song to get the order right. But right there were the familiar words that made his question jump out: "born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried." I've repeated that creed thousands of times.
Now, because of the thoughtful question, I found myself asking the same thing: What about the LIFE of Jesus? What about the TEACHING of Jesus? What about the EXAMPLE of Jesus? Where is our affirmation of THAT?"
My view of the church from this post led to the immediate observation that, basically, church folks celebrate Christmas, sometimes remember the Passion, celebrate Easter and live as though the life, teaching and example of Jesus didn't mean a thing. Too many people's lives seem to indicate that the birth and death/resurrection are Sunday celebrations and everything in between is neglible. Just skip over the example of Jesus' love of sinners and forgiveness for all. Just ignore Jesus' clear warnings about the spiritual seduction of riches. By all means, don't get serious about loving others the way Jesus loved us. To hear some people talk -- people who quickly label themselves as Christians--care for the poor and welcome to the stranger are anti-Christian strategies to appeal to political correctness.
I doubt that a movement to enlarge the Apostles Creed would gain much traction. But maybe we could learn to remember that when we affirm the birth, suffering, death and resurrection of Christ that those are the bookends to a life that each of us are called to emulate. Thanks, dear friend, for the question. I, for one, will never say the Apostles Creed again without thinking about the life of Christ. We make our affirmation of the life of Christ in the way we live.

Dreaming of a Christian Nation

2010-07-04T13:27:00.002-04:00

The birthday of our nation -- like the birthday of a life--is the time to remember the wonder and the dreams and the ideals of purpose. A few weeks ago, a letter to the editor in the Statesville Record and Landmark was slamming President Obama for just about every problem in the nation. The writer closed the letter by saying, "And, by the way, Mr. President, this is still a Christian nation."
Since reading that, I have been thinking about what that phrase might mean: "A Christian nation". This is what I am sure about:
A Christian nation would be a nation that followed the life, teaching and example of Christ. Christian = Christlike. And when I look at the life, teaching an example, these are the characteristics that I would say reflect Christ:
A welcome to all. You can't look at the life of Christ and miss his open heart to everyone: fishermen, tax collectors, zealots, women, lepers, demon-possessed, Roman centurians, Sanhedrin members... Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) has an open heart and love for all.
Perspective on wealth. While it is true that Jesus taught more about money than any other subject, his teaching was all geared to help people detach from money; to recongize that true security doesn't come from money; to warn about the seduction of money. Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) would trust in Christ for security and keep wealth in perspective.
Love for all--including all enemies-- and forgiveness for all those who do us wrong. God's love shown in Jesus was uncompromising good will and forgiveness for everyone. Someone (or nation) who is Christian (like Christ) would love their enemies as well as their friends and extend forgiveness to all who wrong them.
Concern for the poor. Jesus' New Commandment in John 15 becomes the high standard of Christian life: love one another the way Jesus loved us. He unfailingly taught that concern for the poor was inescapably linked with pleasing God. Jesus plainly taught that helping the least, the hungry, the thirsty, the naked, the imprisoned were acts serving Christ himself. Any one (person or nation) who is Christian (Christ-like) would be devoted to concern and care for the poor.
A predisposition of grace. Jesus was graceful and extended grace to very human, fallible disciples. With the exception of the religious caught up in self-righteousness, Jesus didn't spend his time condemning others. He extended mercy, grace and second-chances. Any one (person or nation) who is Christian (Christ-like) would be graceful and merciful.
When I think about what it means to be a Christian, I have to disagree with the writer of the Letter to the Editor. We may have Christian roots, but across the country, we are not acting like Christians. Hostility to strangers, absorption with money as a source of entitlement and happiness, expressed hostility in every area of our national life, a disdain for the poor and resentment toward help for the poor, constant criticism, attacks and unforgiving spirits: there's no way the United States I observes qualifies as a Christian nation. Jesus said, "You are my friends if you do what I command you." (John 15:14)
I love this nation. I celebrate and revel in the freedoms we enjoy. It is my prayer today that we would rearrange our practices to reflect our ideals and become a nation that is Christ-like.

When the heat is on...

2010-06-30T10:59:00.004-04:00

I have always loved flowers.

And I especially love the beautiful yard that I have now.

But in the last couple of years, I realize that my passion for flowers has taken on a new dimension. In the springtime, planting has been therapy. When I plant flowers, they stay put--unlike the appointments of the spring of the year which are always being adjusted and changed. Planting flowers is a beautiful habit to have -- giving me results which are tangible (something else that ministry doesn't always provide...especially on the District).

At the same time, I have learned that the beautiful flowers that were therapy and beauty in the springtime have to be watered in the heat of the summer. The hotter the temperature, the more water is needed. And it doesn't matter how beautiful the flat of annuals was in April or May, if I don't keep watering and feeding the plants in June, July and August, they are going to die. No plant can make it without water in these withering temperatures.

I am learning to pray as I water because I think that people are like my flowers. No matter how beautiful or well rooted, people need constant feeding, constant nourishment, constant inspiration if they are going to continue to flourish. We make a terrible mistake to look at our church members, leaders or visitors and see their dressed-up exterior and think they, in their polished appearance, can go for long without continual, significant nourishment.

While in the course of the seasons, this brutal hot weather is generally confined to the summer months, we are living in a culture that is heavy-laden with the stifling heat of criticism, despair, disillusionment and anger. We've got to water and water and water and water if we want our Christian members, family and friends to be beautiful in an atmosphere like this. Water when we feel like it and water when we are weary. Water when the weather is pleasant and especially water when temperatures are scortching hot.

As Paul wrote to the Galatians, let us not be weary in doing right. We will reap at harvest time if we do not lose heart. "So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all, especially for those of the family of faith." (Galatians 6:9-10)

I couldn't believe it.

2010-06-22T18:43:00.004-04:00

I know it sounds silly, but I almost corrected the Bishop on Sunday morning of Annual Conference. Preparing to confirm the Statesville District appointments, he introduced me as the superintendent for the 3rd year. And it startled me. I was concentrating on not stumbling on the line "The Statesville District appointments are correct as printed" (not a big line, but at least one of us stumbles on it each year). So when he said I was coming back on the cabinet for year 3, I thought, "No way. That couldn't be. I am just getting started." Mentally, I had to count it out because that just didn't sound right to me.
Maybe if he said I was finishing year 2, the year wouldn't have jolted me so. There has been so much to learn on this job, I still feel like a novice. Even if it is year 3. Learning and growing is important in every role in life. Through the years, what joy I have had in learning new things serving churches as a pastor! But, on the cabinet, I've had more to learn than ever before. This is a short list of what I have learned about being on the cabinet:
People who serve the church on the cabinet have to have an extraordinary commitment to the church which must be continually renewed and deepened. This commitment is a vital counterbalance to the discouragement of situations that continually come to our attention.
People who serve the church on the cabinet must have deep spiritual roots that are constantly renewed. Pastors, of course, also need deep spiritual roots. But the pastoral life in a local church has built-in healing rhythms of spiritual encouragement. Yes, there are discouraging experiences in local church ministry. But the faith-depleting experiences are cradled in the healing, renewing of regular preaching, sweet moments by hospital bedsides, baptisms, serving communion, DISCIPLE Bible studies and other uplifting, inspiring experiences. Life on the cabinet doesn't have built-in healing rhythms.
People who serve the church on the cabinet need to be good judges of character. Pastors, of course, need to be good judges of character. But it was easier to wisely size up a person or situation when church life offered so many different contexts to understand people. And the willingness of people to exaggerate, misrepresent and out-right lie is astounding. Getting a true picture is complicated. Patience, persistence and perspective are daily requirements.
People who serve the church on the cabinet need to be unafraid of conflict, difficulties and church bullies. I don't know anyone who enjoys conflict. Knowing how to navigate conflict is at the essential core of this work. That's a continual learning curve.
People who serve the church on the cabinet have to be willing to be scapegoats. DS's are the connecting link in the connectional church. Add to the mix that, with the culture shift, we are a church that has to change and if there's anything the church resists, it's change. We serve a volatile mix. People are stressed and angry and anxious and that shows. Anyone who lives in a family understands this dynamic. Every pastor has experience with this. The cabinet factor is that there are multi-levels where we are scapegoats: with congregations, with pastors and with all kinds of groups with complaints, concerns and frustrations. Taking misunderstandings, frustrations and outbursts in stride is a constant, ongoing challenge. Humility is built into the daily fabric of the work.
Maybe the nature of the work and the constant demand of the learning curve is why I hadn't noticed how time had flown or why, by now, I feel I should know more than I do about this work. These are life areas that always have to be renewed, deepened and expanded.
I am beginning year 3. Unbelievable.

Please don't make it a game...

2010-06-17T19:36:00.003-04:00

I am grateful to be home for a few days with my father for Father's Day. When I am home, I think I ought to do what he wants us to do -- a concept called "Cherish Every Minute". So today, I was with the Triple L's for lunch. That's my home church's "Living Longer and Loving It" group. Many of these adults are the people that I knew growing up. Amost 50 years ago when my father was the pastor here, I babysat for their children. They led my junior choir and taught children's SS classes and Vacation Bible School. So having a meal with them is like a family reunion.
Today had the added feature of being an occasion to meet the newly appointed pastor. Since the new pastor doesn't begin until this coming Sunday, I was not surprised at the big turnout to meet the new preacher. One of my favorite people came up to me and said, "I put him to the test!"
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"The new preacher." She replied. "I stopped by the church and met him yesterday. Today, I walked up to him and said, 'This is a test. Do you remember what my name is?" I love this woman. I have loved and respected her for decades. But I said, "PLEASE do not do that. Please, please, please do not do that. It's not fair. You have 2 names to remember and he has 1200. You should tell him your name right off the bat for at least the first 3 months."
She may have thought I was kidding. But I am not. One of the most unkind things people do is put new preachers on the spot to know their name. It is, for them, just what this lady said: a test. And it's an unfair test. I used to tell people to make a choice: voluntarily introduce yourself or don't change clothes for the first six months. People have no idea how hard it is to get names, faces, families and circumstances together in a new situation.
I rarely am in a group setting where someone doesn't come up and start a conversation like this: "You don't remember me, do you?" I have stopped apologizing when I don't recognize people because most of the time they remember me from sometime I was preaching. They were in a congregation of several hundred. Often I learn that I had not actually been introduced to them personally. But yet their opening line is often, "You don't know me, do you?"
I know that everyone wants to feel that they are special. The truly special people will patiently, consistently take the initiative to introduce themselves to a new preacher and find ways to test their new pastor on something more important: the quality of their sermons, the virtues of their example and the depth of their prayer life.

Walking down memory lane...

2010-06-07T20:21:00.003-04:00

No, this isn't a picture-postcard. Just a photo I took this morning after having prayer time at the cross...just a portrayal of the everyday beauty at Lake Junaluska.

Walking around Lake Junaluska is a walk down memory lane for me. My parents first brought me here when I was 2 years old. Through the years, places all across Lake Junaluska have become precious in my memory bank: our family staying at the Junaluska apartments for vacation; going to the playground at the Children's Building when I was small; coming to youth events at Lake Junaluska in the summer meeting other young people from across the southeast; leading workshops, preaching at Stuart Auditorium, teaching at the Terrace and at Lambuth, designing worship for commemorative milestones, leading youth weeks, starting the Good Word Resource Center, living at Junaluska, serving on the summer staff, raising my girls at Junaluska and seeing them lead youth programs on the summer staff; bringing confirmation classes each year to Junaluska. I fed the ducks at Lake Junaluska, my daughters fed the ducks here when they were just little ones and now my little grandsons love to go feed the ducks. In the many moves and transitions of the Methodist ministry, Lake Junaluska is a beautiful thread of continuity.

And here, in this special place this week, our Annual Conference will discuss leaving here for future Annual Conference sessions. Oh dear. In a world that is a whirlwind of change, continuity is so precious. Conference hasn't even started and already the report is making the front page of newspapers. Rumors are flying and, like every other kind of change, emotions are high. Including mine.

I was lamenting to a long-time friend what a highly-charged decision this is for me and for the conference. My friend also has many special memories at Junaluska but he lives in another state. He didn't sound very sympathetic when he said, "Well, that decision is a no-brainer!"

A no-brainer! What do you mean by that, I inquired.

"Well, you can't meet at a place that can't seat all your delegates. How hard is that?"

In terms of seating the delegates, there is no argument. Our conference has approximately 3500 delegates. And our tradition-laden Stuart Auditorium at Lake Junaluska seats 2000. There's no argument here from me about the importance of everyone having a chance to have a vote. And all year long, as a district superintendent, when people are unhappy with some decision about church life, I have to say, "That was an action of the Annual Conference. Your church had both clergy and lay representatives. Once the Annual Conference decides, we all abide by the decision." Annual Conference decisions are important. And they are binding. So of course, we ought to be meeting in a place where all delegates could be seated. In a larger setting, families could also be part of the worship experiences. My friend is right. It IS a no-brainer.

But decisions -- and especially changes in tradition--are more complex than the brain. Decisions are also a matter of heart. And we, as an Annual Conference, are in the place that many individuals and families and churches are: do we hang on to the beloved familiar even though it is no longer adequate to serve the needs of the present? Tradition is very important to me. But I believe that tradition is only a blessing as long as it is in service to our mission. When it becomes a god of its own, then the beauty of the tradition is betrayed. And whenever there is a crossroads, when the familiar trumps the mission, it's a tragedy.

Everything about my tradition at Lake Junaluska has pointed me to putting Christ's mission first and foremost.

But, still, this is a hard place to be. Lord, help us to be faithful.

Sinking into 60....

2010-06-01T18:49:00.006-04:00

Mark and Mary Allen's new home

We celebrated my new year in a new place. Oh, if the new year (my 60th) can be half as wonderful as the new place (Mark and Mary Allen's newly completed home at Lake Junaluska!)

Tyler (2 1/2) was the first early bird to remember that it was my birthday. "Happy Birthday, Grammy!" he said, very proud of himself. Not to be outdone, Connor shouted from the balconey, "You sure are a big number now, Grammy!"

Tyler, who was sitting on my lap, saw my reaction and comfortingly said, "You not a big number, Grammy." (Such a sweet boy!) I said, "Tyler, what is a big number?" Throwing his hands wide out from side to side, he said, "A hundred!!"

Well, I assured him, I am certainly not 100!

(100 is a big number for Connor, too. That's when we have agreed that he is going to be able to have a gun, smoke cigarettes and ride on motorcycles. Brilliant compromise.)

Sixty years is a long time to have lived and I have lived in the most remarkable of times. There are some people (actually, in the church there are MANY people) who think that the world of my childhood (the 1950's) was better than the world we are living in. I am not one of them. Although we are nowhere close to perfect, I thank God for the many ways that we have made significant progress. It has been thrilling to witness the ways that we have stepped forward in race relations. We haven't arrived yet at living up to our ideals of liberty and justice for all. But racism has been exposed for the evil that it is and we are closer to living our ideals than ever in our nation's history. I'm quite clear that the women's movement doesn't draw rave reviews from people where tradition is of utmost importance. Say what you will, I am very, very grateful that my daughters grew up in a different world than the gender restrictive world that I was raised in. The fact that I am alive to celebrate my 60th birthday is a credit to the advances of medical science -- exquisite delivery systems of God's healing that were not available to my grandparents.

Yes, I know there is a lot of moral degeneration and the transitions have left a lot of relational and emotional casualties. But there were emotional and relational casualties before the tumult of change. Not only were people victimized by limitations, humiliations, violations of dignity and, especially in the case of sexual abuse of children, violence -- but there was the double layer of demanded secrecy. No, I don't think family life was necessarily better. I'm thankful for the wonderful family I had. But my father was a preacher. People who worked with people knew there was a lot of pain in family life. People just didn't talk about it as much or have options for change. The staggering poverty rates of the 1950's tell me that those good old days that people yearn for weren't, in reality, all that good across the board. And, although many people bewail the decline of the institutional church, the worship and Bible study and prayer and mission involvement and discipleship I see in churches today is more vital today than any other time of my life. And, the even better news is that, in order for churches to survive without the props of the culture, we will have to continue to do our best. I've seen too much slack and slide to be sad about that challenge!

Given the staggering pace of change, what the world will be like when (if) I really get to my "big number" of 100 is beyond comprehension. But this I know: God will not be outpaced by the changes of life -- whether in birthdays or technology. Life anchored in him is a blessing -- whether than is my "small number" grandsons or their "big number Grammy". I welcome 60 and the years ahead as a chance to keep making the world a better place -- a world/church where faith in God shows up in grace that abounds, love that flourishes, truth that is honored and where justice, kindness and mercy is the common goal for all. We are a long way from that. But we have come a long way, too. And now, I have this gift of a new year to do all I can to live the high calling of Christ.

Thank God for a beautiful space

2010-05-22T22:37:00.002-04:00

Did I wake up this morning and say, "I think I will go ahead and plant flowers in the back flower bed"? No, I did not.

I woke up this morning and said, "Thank God for a day at home. Only Connor's tee ball game is going to get me away from the great luxury of a day at home."

When Mary Allen called to say that Connor's tee ball game had been rained out...and I thought about all the rain we have had the past week, that's when I realized it would be a perfect time to plant flowers.

Now it was not a perfect day in terms of convenience. This is the first day I have had home for weeks. May has been particularly demanding in terms of traveling with cabinet responsibilities and Monday, we begin another 3 day out-of-town meeting. So I have piles of mail to catch up on from being on the road for the last two weeks and little, but important things like laundry.

But all the rain has wonderfully softened the soil and I knew that planting today would be much, much easier than if I waited till a more convenient time (and, when I get real, when am I going to have a wonderfully accessible time?). Planting flowers today would take half the effort that it would in the later hot sun when the ground is hard.

That's the sweet thing about planting when the soil is moist: digging is delightful. There's not all that resistance that you get when the ground is hard. And as I planted,I prayed. I prayed for my churches where the soil is hard--where minds are made up and there is nothing in the world the preacher can do that is right. I prayed for God's love to shower down like the rain has watered the earth and loosen up the soil of hearts. I prayed for everyone who is so set in their ways that even trying to do something beautiful is hard. I know there are many families and relationships hurting because hearts are dry and hard and closed.

When the Holy Spirit came at Pentecost, the arrival of power came to obedient disciples. They had (for once) done exactly what Jesus told them to do. And obedience is one of the keys to loosening the soil of our hearts so that God can plant something beautiful in our lives. I was able to plant a place of beauty in my back yard today. How much more I hope God will have the right conditions to do something amazing in our churches this Pentecost weekend!

Grateful every day...

2010-05-21T22:26:00.005-04:00

I didn't need a doctor's appointment today to remember to be grateful for the gift of life.

I've been grateful every day I didn't have a doctor's appointment.

Today's follow-up at Duke reminded me of two things:

-- the miraculous (I do not use that word lightly) life-saving healing I have received
--the vulnerability of living in a fallen world.

Both of those things are very fresh in my psyche.

I fully recognize that healing isn't a special gift for good, faithful people. Cancer, for certain, is no respecter of the age or faith or goodness of the people who have it. Some of the most faithful people I have known have died of cancer. And people lose their lives over a host of other unjust things in this fallen world: accidents, mistakes of judgment, carelessness, natural disasters.....This life that I cherish so much takes place in the midst of a dangerous world.

Like every other cancer survivor going back for a followoup-up, I found myself thinking, "What will I do if the cancer has come back?" It doesn't take long to try to plan out a response to imagined bad news. And, at least with the cancer I had, I have no indicators

Today, the news was good. So far.

I'll still have to follow a four week regimen for a more thorough followup scan. But, for now, all the indicators are good. I don't have to answer the question of what I will do if the cancer is back. But I can reveal what my answer was: I will be more grateful for the gift of life. And that's the answer I will live no matter what the test results say. Instead of anxiety-laden times, I want my followup scans to be reminders of the great gift of life...reminders to say "thank you" each day to the God of life and, since He is the God of this life and the next, trust my life more fully to his care.

Two weeks feels like two years

2010-05-20T15:59:00.002-04:00

It's been two weeks ago since I got the phone call that Bob had died.
And it's been a hard two weeks.
I feel silly saying that Bob's death has been hard for me. The loss I feel is nothing like the huge loss to his family -- parents who loved him and depended on him; his wife and faithful companion; his beloved son and daughter, two little adored grandsons and an already-cherished granddaughter on the way. And that just begins the list: brother in business together, sister, nephews and cousins. And, even when you get through the long list of the Lawing family, the circle of those deeply affected by Bob's loss is just getting started. There is not only his Friendship Sunday School Class where Bob was a regular and very effective teacher. I think Bob taught every adult Sunday School Class at Hawthorne Lane UMC as his schedule (and later his health) permitted. Everyone in the church loved this friendly, thoughtful, very eloquent Christian leader. And then you have all the guys who played sports through Bob's interest, coaching and influence. (Bob was, after all, the player-coach for the Hawthorne Lane Red Devil church league basketball team). There are NFL referees all over the country who will be wearing #17 on their caps this season (including the Super Bowl) in honor and respect for their 58 year old colleague. And there are more. Yes, the loss I have been wrestling with is just a small drop in the bucket of others whose grief is deeper and more personal. My place is at the end of a very long line of those who are hurt and deeply affected by his death.
As a pastor, I am familiar with the rites of death. The inevitability of death is baseline for every mortal -- but especially every pastor. But Bob's death was more than the loss of another great person to cancer. It was the disappointment about the miracle that didn't take place.
I was Bob's pastor at the time he learned about the cancer that took his life two weeks ago. By God's grace and a rescheduled doctor's visit of my own, I discovered Bob in the waiting room at my doctor's office. That's when I learned he'd been having a pain for several months which had ultimately led to a PET scan the morning of October 31, 2007. The doctor had called him to come in for the results. After my own routine checkup, I stayed in the waiting room until Bob came out. The series of unplanned, unchoreographed circumstances gave me a chance to be on site at that very important, overwhelming moment. That was a prayer opportunity I will never forget. And every day since that day, I have been praying for Bob's healing.
While I believe that his death was a total, glorious, extraordinary healing for Bob, death was not the answer to the prayers I had been praying.
I truly did not think that the cancer would take his life 2 1/2 years later. Bob had every single healing-force factor in his favor. He had beaten a cancer 7 years earlier. He was strong and health conscious and energetic and athletic. He was resourceful and creative and determined. Oh my! What determination this man had! He was a positive life force if there ever was one...positive attitude, strong faith, dedicated Christian leader, devoted family man and active businessman. He was deeply involved with life at every level. His little grandsons were the special lights of his life and with a new granddaughter on the way, nobody had more to live for than Bob Lawing. Even when I visited with him this April, I did not think the cancer had a chance against his remarkable determination, deep faith and strong family support.
I was wrong.
In my mind, I never believed that Bob was invincible. But his remarkable life energy and his young age did lull me away from the mortality that hit so hard two weeks ago.
And that's what I am still wrestling with. And, like Jacob long ago, I will not let it go without a blessing. Bob's death was a reminder that in this world, we are called to live into a great mystery. Faith is most important when explanations and good outcomes elude us. Sometimes people are healed in this life (and, actually, Bob had been the recepient of that kind of healing which leads back to a normal life) and sometimes, the healing comes beyond what the fallen world can offer.
The hard, painful truth is that we all live with the vulnerability of mortality. We just try to not think about it. Save that for Ash Wednesday services. Whether we have had a cancer diagnosis or not, we all are terminal. And some people will die young (some much younger than Bob) from accidents and natural disasters and human sin and disease. Ultimately, none of us are exempt.
Just at the time we are struggling with disappointment and loss and heartache, we need faith the most. It is faith that connects us to the lifeline of hope and gives us the certainty that, although we cannot see it, God is at work for the good in life's deepest losses and heartaches. Only faith can give that blessed reassurance. But faith is hardest with hopes are dashed.
It is only appropriate that Bob's death should strengthen faith since he spent his live living faith. And faith is, after all, having confidence beyond what we can see. Everything I saw about the life of Bob Lawing was permeated with faith. And now, all who knew and loved him need to gather up those faith lessons and be strengthened by a faith deeper than ever before.
Two weeks has felt like two years. In the two years since Bob's diagnosis, he lived life as fully as humanly possible--every step of the way was a step of faith. That, it seems to me, is the witness to lead us forward.

The special impact of last words

2010-05-18T22:42:00.002-04:00

We've been busy in our conference shaping our church life to the Great Commission of Matthew 28: Follow Jesus. Make disciples. Transform the World.
I don't think we could have a better focus.
I guess I have been so inundated with our priority that Luke's account of the ascension caught me by surprise as I was preparing to preach this week. Luke has this beautiful story of Jesus teaching the disciples and then, as He was lifted up into heaven, He blessed them. The story has long been a favorite of mine. I find goodbyes to be hard. To be able to look at a goodbye as an opportunity for a blessing -- well, THAT's a great witness.
I have always recognized that last words have special importance. The church has long revered the last words of Christ on the cross. It is not uncommon for an entire three hour worship service on Good Friday to be built around Christ's last words from the cross. But I think that Matthew and Luke give us the most significant last words of all: the last words of Jesus to his disciples on earth. And, when Jesus is saying these Great Commission/Ascension words, He is the Risen, Resurrected Lord -- not the suffering Son of God hanging on a cross. These last words to the disciples couldn't possibly be more important. Red underline and exclamation points! These words give us our marching orders straight from the lips of the Resurrected Son of God.
This year, I paid more attention to the teaching of Jesus (Luke 24: 44ff)--that REPENTANCE and FORGIVENESS were the themes that were to be proclaimed in his name to all nations (v.47) Hmmmm. Repentance and forgiveness.
Maybe those two themes struck me so strongly because I see them so rarely in church life. I get lots of calls for repentence as long as it is one person pointing out the need for repentance in someone else. But I see precious little repentance in the lives of people in the church. More often, I spend my time with people who are vehemently defending their patently unchristian behavior. Repentance? That's for the others who don't agree...so it turns out to not be repentance at all. Just stubborn unwillingness to admit being wrong or needing to make a change. Repentance? I really don't see much of that in the church--in pastors or in laity. It's easy to point out how other people need to repent. And often, people come to my office for me to force their pastors to repent from some unwelcome change at the church. And pastors are quick to point out how the laity need to change. But repentace is, as best I can tell, something that everyone things somebody else needs to do.
And forgiveness? I must say that from my new perch as a district superintendent, I don't see much forgiveness, either. I hear a lot about the offenses of my pastors from aggrieved church members. Someone brought me a list recently of all the things his pastor had done wrong beginning from the first week the pastor came several years ago. Forgiveness? Not a smidgeon. Nothing but an ever-growing list of offenses. And I don't think it is a bit easier for pastors to forgive. Church people can say and do some of the most hurtful things...and pastors can -- and do--hurt each other.
Our culture is steeped in accusations and condemnations. Attack the other person/political party/idea is the overwhelming practice of the culture. So maybe we don't even recognize the way that has permeated into the life of the church -- so much so that we have pretty much snuffed out what Jesus said was to be the cardinal characteristics proclaimed in his name.
Repentance and forgiveness? Are those the characteristics of our lives, our families, our churches?

My personal saint of Earth Day

2010-04-21T21:25:00.002-04:00

I'm fairly confident that the people who initiated Earth Day had no idea that April 22 was my mother's birthday. She was around long before Earth Day began so, to my way of thinking, they should have known.
And if they had known my mother, they would have known that no one loved and cherished the earth more than my mother. Rosalie DeYoung Shepherd was raised on a farm in Prairie View, Kansas -- the very northwest corner of Kansas. Growing up on the farm, respecting nature was a way of life. Growing up in a very, very devout Dutch family and community, love of God was expressed in reverence for the world that God created. On the farm, mother's family believed that they were co-creating with God as they raised cattle, pigs, chickens, wheat and corn.
Mama's adult years were far away from the Kansas farm. She raised four children in Methodist parsonages across the state of Kentucky. But her reverence for the earth was imprinted in her heart and went with us everywhere. The yard of every home we lived in was more beautiful after we left than when we came. Mother loved flowers and she had a green thumb that would make anything grow.
Long before communities had recycling pickup, my mother recycled everything. Nothing was put in the garbage until it had been hopelessly used up. Mother grew up in the Depression. She didn't take anything for granted and she definitely didn't believe in wasting any resource. And we children learned quickly that we had better not even think about littering. That was a cardinal sin. Thou shalt not waste anything and thou shalt not litter were ever-present additions to biblical mandates. For the longest time, I thought those rules were quotes directly from the Bible.
Quotes from Mother's heart are only slightly less authoritative than a direct quote from a biblical passage. And she lived what she taught. She had a reverence for the earth that showed up in everyday, practical ways. She didn't worship nature. But she believed that this world was a gift given to us by the God we did worship and that we would be unforgiveably ungracious if we did not respect the gift.
So how wonderfully, perfectly appropriate that Earth Day would be held on my Mother's birthday. May Earth Day impart the reverence for the creation that my mother lived for us every day.

A beautiful witness...

2010-04-20T16:53:00.002-04:00

I had it in my head that the cabinet met at Lake Junaluska.
I don't know when meetings at Junaluska stopped. But, sometime before my tenure, the cabinet found a centrally located, comfortable, very hospitable hotel. That's home base for the work of the cabinet.
The one thing that is outstanding about this place we call home for our work together is the unfailing hospitality of the people who work there. From the desk clerk to the cleaning people to repair people to food service waiters, they always are courteous to their guests. In the hallways, behind the desk, at the serving table or in the elevator, if you see a staff person, they are friendly and courteous. Anytime we have a need, they do everything they can to provide what we are lacking and, most noticeable, they consistently serve us with grace and friendliness.
During this year's appointment-making marathon, we had a wonderfully friendly staff person. If we ran out of soft drinks or ice or cups or hot water, she noticed and, before we ever had to ask, she made sure that we had a full stock of supplies with our coffee/tea/water/soft drinks. She couldn't have been more friendly. Nothing she did called attention to herself but all of us were touched by her sweet spirit. There is so much to be said for a sweet spirit.
The day before we left, during her last shift, we spontaneously took up a thank you offering. Every one of us had been touched by her quiet kindness and efficiency. When she came in, we closed the door and made the presentation. To be honest, she looked a little bit afraid. (No wonder, it's a rough crowd ...) When she realized what we were doing, she was smiling from ear to ear. But, before she took the wad of money, she said, "But what is this for?" We enumerated: she had been attentive and thoughtful and smiling all week. And then she looked at us and said, "But that's my JOB! That's what I am supposed to do!"
And I couldn't help but think what a contrast this earnest woman was compared to the griping and complaining and sometimes hostility that we deal with in our churches. My goodness! Church folks -- and here the term is all inclusive--aren't doing their job! But they are still whining and complaining. The difference was stunning.
If many Christians' behavior was on a paying job, they would be fired.
It's our primary responsibility as Christians to show the love of Christ. That means an open heart and respect for all; that means love for neighbors near and far; that means telling the truth and not indulging in the gossip circles; that means being kind and welcoming to all; that means selfless serving to those in need; that means dedicated study and living of God's word. That's our job! And our JOY! And I just wish that church people took their responsibilities to Christ as seriously as the hotel staff at Comfort Inn. Now there's a statement that should give us all pause.

Something all the time...

2010-04-16T10:17:00.003-04:00

I am so blessed.

There is something blooming in my yard all the time. In spring, first it was crocus. Then hyacinths. Then daffodils. Then tulips. As each spring species died out, another different, beautiful flower came into blossom.

At first, my hardy winter pansies were the only signs of flowering life. But now, the pansies are surrounded by blooming flowers and bushes on every hand.

Now it is the azaleas and lilacs that are flaming. And the rose bushes are just beginning their blooming.

Every day, a walk around the yard brings a beautiful new discovery.

Something always in bloom is the sign of a master gardener.

Although I plant plenty of flowers myself, I am not a master gardener. The careful planning, well-placed shrubs, perennials and bulbs in my yard is way beyond my experience and expertise. The bright annuals that I plant are only complements to the ever-beautiful landscaping that is already in place. The flowering I enjoy comes from the careful planning of a master gardener who preceded me in this place.

Each day, as I soak in the beauty of the flowering around me, I remember that God is the true Master Gardener. And I need to look in my life as much as my yard for what new thing God is bringing to beauty. God is always bringing something beautiful to life. As one thing blooms out, there is another project or person or passion to come to life.

We are very aware that life contains one worry after another, one trouble after another, one challenge after another. "It's one thing after another...." I think and hear often in a negative way.

This spring, I am certain that the Creator of the world and the Master Gardener of my life is always bringing something to life in a beautiful way of blessing. While it's hard to miss the beautiful flowers of my yard, it's distressingly easy to miss the beautiful flowering God plants in the spirit. What rich gifts each day holds!

First words

2010-04-15T16:56:00.002-04:00

I believe that words matter.
I know that video is compelling and interactive is energizing. But words still matter. Simple phrases can turn life upside down: "I'm pregnant." "I don't love you anymore". "You're fired." Words matter.
And just like first impressions matter, first words matter.
The Scripture doesn't tell us if Jesus planned, prayed or pondered over his first words after His resurrection. What we know is that His first words to His disciples are amazing. According to John's Gospel, the first words of Jesus to his gathered disciples after His resurrection were words of peace. Hmmm. "Peace be unto you."
Peace to a group of men who had gone to sleep on him in his hour of need, denied him and deserted him. I don't think "peace be unto you" would have been my first words.
Peace to a group of disciples who were huddled together in a locked room even though Jesus had sent a personal witness to his resurrection.
"Peace be unto you"? I would have said, "Why are you locked away in this room after I sent Mary to tell you the glorious good news?"
And, eight days later, Jesus finds them again in a locked room.
"Peace be unto you"? I am sure that isn't what I would have said. After appearing to them in person, showing them His hands and side and still finding them locked room, I would have said, "What are you doing up here? What do I have to do to get the message across?" Not "peace be unto you".
The resurrected Jesus came to bring peace to His followers.
He didn't appear to them to point out their failures or inadequacies. He came to bring them peace.
He sought them out. He brought them peace.
With all the fear and condemnation in our culture, it doesn't seem to me that we have received the gift of the Risen Christ. Peace. Peace. The peace of Christ.

A new church is launched

2010-04-04T13:31:00.002-04:00

Easter had so many new beginnings -- signs of new life! This morning, I was privileged to be part of the launch of a new church -- the new church start, Reactivate! at the Fairgrove Campus of Christ Church -- our United Methodist multi-site church in the Statesville District.

Both the 9:00 a.m. and the 11:00 worship services were standing room only. A walk through the campus showed signs of new life blossoming as vibrantly as the dogwoods and tulips are bursting to life in my yard.

The launch of a church -- like the birth of a baby--has a LOT that goes into it. And that investment has come from many sources. In this case, it included the ending and beginning made possible by a merger of Fairgrove United Methodist Church with Christ United Methodist Church. The launch is grounded in the Christ Church vision to reach unchurched people for Jesus Christ -- especially those in the young adult age group. The launch required extensive renovation of the Fairgrove facilities and untold hours of volunteer labor. There has been planning and praying and, now, preaching. The conference has paid the salary of the new start pastor, the district has been partners in prayer and the Christ Church campuses have been praying, paying and volunteering to birth this new church as another way for us to reach the sea of unchurched people around us.

In addition to the extraordinary welcome and inspiring worship, people are invited to additional ways to get involved in discipleship through the church. There are all kinds of open doors provided for people who are ready to take a next step in faith.

As one who deals mostly with congregations that are very lackadaisical about welcoming others and resistant to change, the ReActivate! service was a great sign of hope and life to me on this Easter Day.

The rich gift we often miss

2010-04-03T22:03:00.002-04:00

Holy Saturday. Silent Saturday. The Sabbath that prevent the women from getting to the tomb of Jesus...
Today, Saturday is often errand day-- picking up the ham for Easter lunch, finding last minute goodies for Easter baskets, being sure we are stocked up with enough candy.
There's nothing wrong with errands. But I think we miss the richness of the day.
Maybe we, somewhat like the early disciples, are worn out with the heaviness and gore of the crucifixion. We feel a need for a break and welcome the reprieve. Nothing wrong with that, either unless it causes us to miss the gift of the day.
I say this is important because, of all the three days commemorating the Pascal Mystery, I say that most of us live in Saturday. There are some people who are in Friday's vise grip of suffering, persecution, pain and sorrow. And there are some people who are feeling the Easter healing, rebirth and joyful fullness of life that we see in the springtime world around us. But most of us live in Saturday--that in-between time when life has hurt us, defeated us, broken us but before we see how God is going to use that for good. The person who has had a family member who has died, the person who has lost their job, the person who has been betrayed in their marriage. They are the Saturday people. And that's why we shouldn't miss the great message of Saturday.
Saturday is the day when God is working in powerful though not-yet-visible ways. On Saturday, God was already working to redeem the hopelessly cruel, horrible death of Jesus. By the time the women got to the tomb, Jesus was already gone. It was Sunday before they saw what God had done -- and even longer before they grasped the full scope of resurrection. Saturday is the time for us all to remember that God is at work long before we can see it.
That shouldn't be such a surprise. Long before Christmas morning, I am dreaming and working on gifts for my family. When we get together, we see the fruit of love that has been in the making for a long time. Why are we so reticent to believe that God is powerfully at work until we see it?
John Wesley eloquently described God's Saturday working as prevenient grace: the grace that goes before. Although we don't usually recognize it except in hindsight, we believe in faith that God is going ahead of us. And the crucifixion is the reminder that God's grace can redeem even the worst that the world can bring.
Easter morning, we will wake to celebrate the resurrection that is revealed at the empty tomb. But most of our lives are spent in Saturday time where we need to have faith in God's work even though it is not yet visible.

The power of patience

2010-04-01T13:38:00.002-04:00

I must say that I am inspired by NC Tarheel Coach Roy Williams. I am not as good a person as he is. After the season Carolina had, when the NIT invitation came, I would have gathered the team and said, "We're not going. After the way you have played this year, I am not going to give you one more opportunity to embarrass me."
But he didn't. Coach Williams has never coached in the NIT before. But he went with his TarHeels and they have played some of the best basketball they played all year. Personally, as a devoted Duke fan, I am happy for them to be in some other post-season tournament than the NCAA where the Blue Devils are knocking on the door of another championship. But I shudder to think of the great experience that the young Tar Heels are getting in this tournament. I am sure we will face a stronger Carolina team next year because Coach Williams didn't give up on them.
At the core of the Christian experience is the amazing patience of God. And Maundy Thursday is exactly the day to remember that Jesus didn't give up on us. He had every reason to be discouraged: relentless religious critics, undependable disciples, fickle crowds. If, in Gethsemane, Jesus had prayed to the Father: "They are not worth it. They absolutely do not get it", we could never have criticized Jesus. Human nature gave Him more than enough to be grounds for giving up.
And that's where the amazing love of God steps in -- the love that will not let us go, the love that always believes we can do better, the love that gives grace and second chances, the love that always chooses forgiveness.
And today, as we stand at the special day when we remember that Jesus did not give up on us, can we show Him that we DO get it --that we truly appreciate the grace that has been lavished on us? Our appreciation will show most truly when/if we extend that grace to someone else that we have given up on...someone who needs forgiveness...someone who needs to experience grace.
Who in your life needs you to not give up on them? As we stand in Maundy Thursday's outpouring of grace, let us pass on the great gift we have received.

Who will save us from our limited perspective?

2010-03-22T15:12:00.004-04:00

After much discussion, one lady confronted me with their plan. "We're thinking of just leaving the United Methodist Church," she said. "And how would that be helpful to your church?" I asked.
"The United Methodist Church just has too many rules. If we leave it, we could do whatever we wanted."
I am not going to disagree that we have lots of regulation in ordering church life. That's the METHOd in Methodist. Every one of our rules has a history (the rule was made because somewhere along the line, a church got hurt when the policy was not in place) and a purpose (to make holy use of the bad experience to make sure the same thing doesn't happen to other churches). I have no trouble granting that United Methodists struggle --but benefit--from our organizing covenant.
But my question hadn't been answered. Would "being able to do whatever we wanted" be a good thing for the church?
My pastoral experience says that being free of the rules would, more likely, leave the church stranded in an inwardly focused self-centeredness. Mind you, I was talking with good people. But history bears me out: when people as individuals or groups get to do things their way, there's a spiritual trainwreck waiting to happen. That's why we do wealthy people no favors to let them think that their financial contribution can buy unquestioned influence in decision-making. That's why we do popular political or sports figures no favor when we adulate them and contribute to their spiritually false sense that they are better than anyone else. We see one life after another destroyed. The headlines are full of intelligent people, powerful people, talented people. and religious people who fall into life-wrecking sin because they got away from humility and accountability.
Do I think a church (or an individual or a nation) would be helped to be cut loose from accountability? Nothing in my years of pastoral experience suggests that people are better off without accountability. Everyone needs perspective and we, ourselves are often the last to see the perspective we so desperately need.
At the heart of Christian life is a willingness to leave self behind in order to put Christ first. No idea is more central that this core conviction. The Christian faith is not about having things our way. Christian faith is about having things God's way. Having things our way is about selfishness. Putting Christ's way first in all things is about selflessness. Having things our way intensifies our selfishness. Doing things God's way increases our unselfishness.
I don't mean to glorify the regulation and accountability of our church rules. Our rules can't make us the kind and loving people Christ has called us to be. But our regularized, methodical ways of ordering church life can streamline the administration of a church, keep people focused on the mission of following Jesus and avoid endless squabbling about how things should be done.
I know we have many brothers and sisters in Christ who worship God in congregational-based settings. I believe the "we get to decide what we want to do" settings leave congregations vulnerable to short-sightedness and limited perspective. Without accountability, what will save them from limited perspective?
Every mature Christian has lived long enough to be thankful that God didn't answer some prayer the way they had hoped.

I think I've got it!

2010-03-16T09:19:00.005-04:00

I think I've got it!
After 20+ hours of face-to-face meetings with Pastor-Parish Relations Committees, taking and transcribing careful notes into profiles, I know just what my churches want in pastoral leadership:

"Someone who is not too young because young preachers are too impatient for change and, well, you can't push people in the congregation too fast, you know. But we have to have someone young enough to attract young adults and work well with youth and children. That's where we are losing people."

"We need someone with energy -- lots of energy because we count on the preacher to do the ministry of the church. We will appreciate someone who can do it all -- visit the shut-ins, visit the senior members of the church who tend to feel neglected if the preacher doesn't stop by every week, take communion to people who missed the sacrament at church, preach, teach some Bible studies (and, by the way, we need a good precher who will keep our attention). It's nice if the preacher is also willing to teach Sunday School."

"Be sure to send us someone with thick skin. We have people who criticize everything the pastor does. They have been doing that for years. They don't come to church, but they still complain. It's only a handful of people, though. We haven't said anything to them because we don't want to hurt their feelings. We haven't stood up for our preacher the way we should. So be sure that whoever comes can take criticism."

"We need someone who is friendly and gets along well with people of all ages. We need someone who will be active in our community and a face for the church that we can be proud of. We need someone who will attract these young adults that we are missing without needing to change anything about the way we like to worship. We expect our pastor to give special attention to our members, notice and follow-up with the visitors. "

"We want someone who will make us proud to be members of our church but we don't want anyone to nag us for money. We want someone well-educated but not someone who will talk over our heads. We want our preacher to be in there working alongside us at our fundraisers. We want our minister to be fresh and rested as long as that doesn't mean taking a day off each week and all that vacation schedule that the conference has. There's a lot of work to be done at our church and we look to the minister to cover all the bases."

"We want a preacher who will respect our ways of doing things. If they are contrary to that Book of Discipline, the pastor should know that we've been doing things this way for a long time and we know what is best for our congregation."

"By the way, our pastor needs to be a man because our choir director grew up Baptist. We don't want to offend the choir director. And we want a pastor this time whose wife can sing in the choir and be active in church functions. If she sings alto, that wouuld be especially helpful. And, of course, we want children in the parsonage. That would really help boost our youth. If the new pastor and his wife has a son who could play tackle for the football team next year, that would be a big asset for the church."

"You can tell the cabinet that we know we need to change. We see that our church is declining and our members are on the senior side. But you just can't rush changes. We want someone who will help us take baby steps. Send us someone who will help us change without getting anyone upset."

Yes, indeed. I've got it.
I didn't make these up. Every one of those things have been said to me by some PPR committee in my district.

I take careful notes so that, when I write the profile, I won't confuse what they actually said with my imagination or a bad dream. I have accurately listed what they say they want. And if we, on the cabinet provide what they want, these churches will be gone in 10 years.

What they want to protect is their comfort zone. Their comfort zone and what they need to be vital, growing churches are very different things. Lord, have mercy.

I should say I'm sorry

2010-03-12T13:06:00.002-05:00

I should say I'm sorry that Carolina lost in the opening round of the ACC tournament and had such a miserable basketball season. I should say I'm sorry. But I'm not. Compassion is a challenge for me with Carolina fans.
Some day, I am going to write a book about serving churches full of Carolina fans. I have way too many stories about Carolina paraphanelia being left on my pulpit, sympathy cards when Duke lost and oh, the phone messages! After any Duke loss, there was a flood of phone messages. Anytime Carolina won, my consolation was I knew it was good for church attendance. They'd all be there, rubbing it in that Carolina had won. They'd come back early from a trip or off their sick bed if Carolina won and Duke lost. And, if Carolina lost or, the ultimate worst for them, Duke beat Carolina, I could be sure that Carolina fans were going to be sick and miss church.
I, as the pastor, of course, couldn't get sick and stay home. I had to come win or lose. So I have endured a lot through the rivalry through the years.
I grew up in Kentucky. I learned early to take my basketball very seriously. So I undertand Carolina fans are miserable. I should say I am sorry. But it wouldn't really be true. And I have lots of sympathy cards from Carolina fans who were only trying to rub it in.
So I'll tell the truth. I'm not sorry. But I'm not going to be obnoxious about it to people who are already down. I'm not going to do unto others like they have done unto me.

Prepare to be amazed!

2010-03-07T19:36:00.003-05:00

Last Sunday, I left for church in a winter coat and long knit scarf. The temperature was in the high 30's and the weather people were predicting snow. I am long past tired of the cold of winter.
This week, the weather did, indeed, turn into snow. Tuesday, about noon, snow began to blanket the world around here. I was supposed to pick up my 5 year old grandson for an overnight visit. I flirted with the idea of trying to postpone our overnight date. But, when I called to get his mother's advice, she said, "He is really excited."
That sealed it. I would have driven through a blizzard to get him rather than disappoint him. And the drive felt like a blizzard of snow. Clomping through snow that was, at that point, 4 - 6" deep to pick him up, he popped out the kitchen door, suitcase in hand, face lit up like a light bulb saying, "Grammy, I'm ready!" That was worth everything.
I drove slowly and carefully back to Statesville with my eager beaver and wondered if winter was ever going to be over this year.
This Sunday, the sunshine matched the exhilarating warmth -- nearly 60 degrees today. The longed-for change was beginning to appear. I looked back to my doubting from just a few days ago. I very clearly remembered the discouraging feeling that the winter was going to last forever.

Connor has been in a five day a week preschool program this year. One day just a few months ago, he came bounding in my house, picked up a clipboard and a pencil, ran in my sunroom and cheerfully called out, "Grammy, don't come in until I tell you -- but prepare to be amazed!"
And, after some time, he DID amaze me by bringing out a paper where he had written his name by himself. I loved it. And since that time, I have thought of his exuberant words: "Prepare to be amazed!"
What if we, in the church, would hear those words as God's encouraging voice? In the winter that has been long and cold, hasn't God been whispering, "Prepare to be amazed!" with the springtime that will unfold. When Finance Committees meet and moan about the economy and the short financial resources, don't you think that, somewhere, God is calling out for faithfulness and "Prepare to be amazed! I am the God of abundance." For people who are stuck in discouraging situations in their lives, I believe God is opening doors beyond what we can see and encouraging us to "Prepare to be amazed! My grace goes before you!" And on that low-point of human history when Jesus was nailed to a cross -- even then, God was saying "Prepare to be amazed!"
As spring unfolds this year, can we recapture our sense of wonder and joy about God's powerful, creative work in our lives and in our world? In the soberness of Lent, let us prepare to be amazed.

It's That Time of Year

2010-03-02T12:54:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year.
Here we go for the marathon of appointment-making for ministry deployment for our United Methodist Churches for the upcoming conference year. Churches and ministers had a window of prayerful time to turn in a request to be considered in this year's appointment round.
This is the time of year that people start swamping me with their opinions. They tell me that their preacher HAS to stay. Their church just can't go on if their preacher has to move.
Other people want to make sure I know that their pastor HAS to leave. Their pastor has ruined their church and what they need is a new preacher.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Both of these oft-repeated positions show the shallow understanding too many United Methodists have of ministry.
In the first case, let me say that I am thrilled when people have good things to say about their pastor. If good growth is taking place, I love to hear about it. But if a ministry is solid, it is not dependent on the preacher. Every good United Methodist knows that their preacher doesn't HAVE to stay. We are, at the very core of who we are, a denomination of itinerant preachers. The ministry of our churches is not meant to be built around the personality of any one preacher. The United Methodist emphasis for ministry is exactly where it should be: the MINISTRY is always bigger than the MINISTER. The temptation to ego and personality-centered ministry is alleviated if not eliminated. And that's a gift to the clergy and to congregations.
And, in the case where people are telling me that the answer to their problems is a new preacher, I have exactly the same response: the MINISTRY is always bigger than the MINISTER. Congregations need to keep that in mind. I am a passionate advocate of strong clergy leadership. But I believe that the congregation is the determining factor of whether a church moves forward or not.
We have too many churches that think a new preacher is the solution. Plenty of times, congregations have just the leadership they need. But, instead of following their clergy leader, they resist. They complain and undermine and sabatoge their own growth because they don't want to do anything different. Comfort zones are the sacred cows. Sometimes, somebody got their feelings hurt and they willingly turn that into a war against the pastor. God help us. We end up with wounded pastors and discredited congregations. Everyone loses the "Blame the Pastor" game. We've got plenty of churches who want a pastoral change but they are not willing to change. And they're not growing -- not because of the PASTOR--but because of the way they treat each other. And no change of pastors is going to fix that fundamental deficiency.
I thank God for the churches that are growing in inspiring, fruitful ways. But they are mistaken if they think their success depends on keeping their pastor. The ministry of a church --if it is to last and be a faithful reflection of God--must not be built around the personality of any minister. For everyone in church -- clergy AND laity--we believe that everyone is important but no one is indispensable. That helps us not get sidetracked on ego issues.
I pray for the churches that are discouraged about their declines. I pray that we will send them strong clergy leaders but more: I pray that congregations will develop a deep, shared conviction that the ministry of their church is always bigger than the minister. The success of any congregation in new growth requires people who open their hearts and minds and doors to others. Not even the best preacher can make up for the absence of openness in the hearts of the congregation.
Yes, it's that time of year again.
Don't forget to pray for the Bishop and cabinet every day. Pray for our preachers. And pray for our congregations that, together, what we do will help us all keep our perspective: the ministry is always bigger than the ministers.

Change that lasts...

2010-02-16T18:38:00.003-05:00

New Year's resolutions to change are so fleeting! Early in January, people start joking about how their resolve has already evaporated.
Then early in the spring, Lent rolls around and offers another chance to self-discipline and focusing on priorities. Through my years as a pastor, people seemed skeptical, surprised and then delighted to learn that Sundays are exempt from the fasts of Lent. Sunday after Sunday, people enjoyed the tea, chocolate, cokes, desserts that they had given up for Lent until the final joyful celebration of Easter.
I have lost count of how many years I have given up something for Lent. I've given up diet coke, tea, chocolate, dessert, reading the newspaper. Each year, I try to honestly give up something that I will really miss. Confirmands used to try to get me to bless their decision to give up broccoli. Usually, it only took one question to discover that they don't eat broccoli to begin with. Clever approach, but no deal.
Every year, giving up something for Lent is a learning experience and, at Easter, I know I'm the better for it. Most years, when I get to Easter, I happily resume my former habits. This past year, however, Lent made a lasting difference.
I decided to give up the morning news.
That may not sound like much. But it was a big change of routine for me. Getting out of bed in the morning and turning on the morning news was basically one single action for me. I have always been a news junkie. I read 3 newspapers every day, several weekly papers as well as internet news, television news and National Public Radio news. I just like knowing what is going on. So watching the early morning news was as natural as breathing.
Last year, I gave up tv in the morning because it was a change of routine that mattered. I decided I wouldn't watch the morning news at all and I wouldn't read a newspaper until after my daily Bible reading. The first few days were hard. I was sorely tempted to cheat. Since I live alone, who would know?
But I stuck with my resolve. I didn't cheat. And I began to notice a big difference in my disposition. I realized that I didn't start the day nearly as frazzled or tense. Challenges were still there, problems demanding attention --but I started out more centered. Until I gave it up, I didn't realize how much tension my passion for the news was creating in my life. Last year, once Easter came, I stayed with the lesson my Lenten discipline had taught me. In addition, I added another component: I stopped watching the 11:00 news. I found it was a lot easier to go to sleep peacefully if I hadn't just filled my head with the traumas and tragedies of the day.
Last year's Lent gave me a learning opportunity and change that has lasted--a lesson that has blessed me every day.
Lent is a laboratory of learning. And what good are lessons if we don't apply them to life? That's the adventure of growing in Christian love--that's how abundant life in Christ gets enriched by walking in faithfulness.
This year, may Lent bring lessons of sacrifice that bless and lead us to maturity.

The most important question

2010-02-09T15:25:00.002-05:00

Oh, how many days turn out differently than what I have planned!
I can start out the day with an up-to-date calendar and an efficient list and, after a very busy day, I look down and the to-do list is untouched and new things have been added. Charles Shedd, in his classic book A Time for All Things says that one of the secrets to a joyful Christian life is to learn to make friends with divine interruptions. Decades after first reading his challenge, I am still working on welcoming interruptions.
Learning to welcome interruptions is not one of those optional skills for ministry. Whether or not you can make coffee or stir barbeque meat at dawn for the annual fund-raiser--THOSE are optional ministry skills. But learning to deal with interruptions? That is in the category of necessary skills.
I have spent a lot of time and money on time management guides. I have mastered multi-tasking to the max. I have learned to work smarter and not just more. I still struggle with the idea that "more is less" (a phrase that I do not believe is automatically true). But, finally, I think I have made some progress.
After spending three days completely differently than I had expected, I looked around at my to-do list, my house and my coming week. Instead of asking "what did I get done and what is still ahead of me?", (a question that inevitably leads to overwhelm), I asked the more important question: Did I do what was MOST important? Although I didn't get around to doing the things on my dream list, I spent my time lined up with my priorities of what is most important. And I realized that I had stumbled onto the place of true peace.
Success isn't getting everything done. In every area of life, there is always more to do than time to do it: taking care of a home, taking care of a family, serving a church and, certainly serving a district. Every night, when I have time to pray and reflect, the "to do" list is still long no matter how productive the day has been. So I need to stop judging the day by how much I am checking off the list--a list that, by the very nature of a caring heart and creative spirit is always going to keep growing.
The question that matters is not how much did I check off my list. The question at the heart of a faithful life is this: Did I spend my time doing what is most important? If I can say "yes" to that question, it won't matter how many things are still on the list for days to come.

Be careful about getting on board...

2010-02-01T22:06:00.002-05:00

I have lived long enough to know that putting heroes on a pedastal is a prescription for disappointment. Sports figures, political figures, religious people all take big falls from grace -- just like the biblical characters. Although, since most of the Bible stories I learned as a child, I learned the Sunday school, child-appropriate version. So, as a young adult, I was completely aghast to hear Mary Cosby say that it is a mistake to teach our children to be like biblical characters. That threw me for a loop. Slowly, I realized how right she is. Although there are a few (but very few) exceptions, good people in the Bible stories turn out to be terrible disappointments and the Bible characters who make terrible mistakes turn out to be heroes. When you follow the whole lives of the biblical characters, you see she is right.

But, still, our hearts love to have heroes -- spokespersons for the values and principles that we hold dear. And when the disappointment comes -- as it almost inevitably does--the disillusionment hurts. And there have been a lot of prominent people who have let us down in recent months. They are on both sides of the political aisle (Mark Sanford and John Edwards) so don't even think about appealing to partisan carping. And the things we have learned make us wonder all over again: how can such smart people do such terrible destructive things?
Every new revelation about the life of John Edwards makes me want to say,"All Aboard" to the train of laments about how dishonorable his actions have been. He failed his family, he failed his causes, he failed his best self and he failed people who believed in him. I'm disappointed in him in every way possible. This week, I went over the top when, at the announcement of his separation from his wife, Elizabeth, he said, "I want my children to know that I love them more than anything in the world..." And I wanted to scream: "You can't do the things you did and then, in the wreckage you have made of your family, come along and proclaim your love for your children. No sale. It doesn't work that way. If you love your family more than anything, you put them first. Your love for them changes the way you act. You don't love someone and then going around doing destructive things like that. Love isn't just a word you can throw around. Love is something that shows in what you DO with your life." Oh I was steaming!
Especially while all these tawdry revelations are fresh, it is easy to jump on the criticize-John-Edwards train. But as I think about it, John Edwards isn't the only one who thinks that he can say one thing and do another. The church is full of people who SAY they love God more than anything. But their actions tell a different story. A very different story. The beautiful few chapters of I John are very poignant in describing this great chasm--plainly stating that if you say you love God and hate your brother or sister, you are a liar. Ouch.
As one expose after another has come to light, I have found myself thinking over and over, "How in the world did he think he was going to get away with that? Did he not realize that big transgressions like this were bound to be exposed?" And, while I don't have the answer to that question for John Edwards, I think the same question applies to the life of a Christian. Do people really think that they can be hateful to their brothers and sisters--an explicit violation of Jesus' command to love one another as He loved us--and get away with it? The tragic history of race relations in this nation tells me that too many people have the same disconnect between their behavior and God's command to love. Do people who violate Jesus' explicit teaching to love actually think that they can violate God's law that seriously and spout off some Sunday morning affirmation of John 3:16 and expect everything will be ok? Love is something that shows--or doesn't show--in actions.
In my uncharitable opinion right now, John Edwards deserves every word of criticism directed at him. So does Mark Sanford. So does Tiger Woods -- and the list goes on and on. And they are, especially right now, easy targets. But every time we point a finger at someone else, four fingers point back to us. Do our actions stand up to our professed loves? Do we think that we can blatantly ignore the main teachings of Jesus and get away with it? Although our situations may not have reached the headlines or television news flashes, the disconnect between professed love and life actions puts us in the same boat with the disgraced public figures. Our actions will measure the truth of what we say. And we dare not think we can have a big disconnect between our proclamations and our actions and think we will not get caught.

Payoff for a Pack Rat

2010-01-31T19:44:00.004-05:00

I know I am a pack rat.

It's a pain during moves and, in between, I take a lot of teasing about hanging on to everything but the kitchen sink.

And it doesn't help that I fell in love with scrapbooking -- which makes it even harder to throw away a scrap of memorabilia. You never know when that nametag, that little piece of paper, that ticket stub would be just the perfect accent for a scrapbook page. When I am going to have time to do all these scrapbooks in my head is still a mystery to me. But, if I get the time, I have the pictures and memorabilia.

I'll admit that I have times of doubt about the wisdom of hanging onto all these things.

Tonight is a good example.

With the gift of a snow day, I decided to unpack one of the boxes which got unloaded in my move, but not unpacked--the tedious part of getting completely settled. And as I sorted through pens and pencils and sticky note pads and bookmarks, I'll confess that I thought, "What is wrong with me? Why don't I just dump this box?" I am so glad I didn't.

For there, beneath a lot of stuff that could have been dumped with no great loss was a treasure: the New Testament that my father received when he was ordained. On the right hand side of the Bible, he has written that he was ordained a deacon "at the 10:30 a.m. Sunday morning September 22, 1040 by Bishop William T. Watkins at Hopkinsville, Kentucky -- the 100th session of the Lousiville Conference." And there, on the left hand cover of the Bible, in his distinctive handwriting, my Daddy had written: "I am, first of all, not a scientist but, first of all and last of all, a man redeemed by our Lord and living a life of unspeakable reality in Him." (Curtis).

That was the quote written by Daddy at the beginning of his ministry and, 66 years later, these words still describe him. This New Testament and Psalms is marked up on virtually every page--some underline in red pencil, some in blue, some in green, some in black. The book is obviously well used. And well-lived.

Oh, I am SO glad I didn't just take that box to the garbage! I would have thrown away a treasure and never known it. I don't remember having this testament. I don't remember when Daddy gave it to me...probably when I was working on his heritage scrapbooks.

I don't think we ought to be consumed by our things. But I think we ought to be careful about what we throw out. And we can be thankful for the things that give us a testimony to faithful living. Tonight I found a treasure.

2010-01-25T21:09:00.002-05:00

I know better than to say that my grandson Tyler is the cutest little boy on the planet. That's what I believe. But I know better than to say it that way. Grandparents everywhere would object. So let me just say that Tyler is one of the cutest little boys ever.
And he's not only knock-your-socks-off cute. He's smart and funny and every time we are together, I think my heart is absolutely going to break with joy.
The boys came to see me Saturday and we had such a good time! They came running out of the car, tearing through the house looking for all their familiar things and discovering the new things I have waiting for them. This was their first visit here since Christmas Day. As those little boys ran from room to room, the house came to life. Energy and exuberance was everywhere.
The Christmas decorations had been put up and that was the first thing Tyler noticed. Now, the holiday decorations for the boys room don't go upstairs in the attic. There's a wide shelf in the boys' big closet. That's where the holiday decorations go. And we take down the decorations with the seasons.
Tyler noticed right away that baby Jesus was on the shelf. And he did not like that one little bit. In my defense, baby Jesus was carefully put up with the manager and all the manger scene figures. But Tyler said, "NO! I want Baby Jesus down here! Here with me, Grammy, here with me!"
He was quite insistent. Jesus should not be on the shelf. He needed Jesus to be with him.
Well, of course, I got Jesus down off the shelf.
And, after Tyler went home, I didn't have the heart to put Jesus back on the shelf. He got me to thinking about how easy it is for us to put Jesus away. It's not that we don't believe in Jesus or that we renounce him...but it is too easy to put him on the shelf. Too easy for life to keep on going with Jesus on the shelf.
Now that Christmas is a month past, where is Jesus in our lives? Packed away on the shelf?

Thinking Back...

2010-01-17T19:45:00.012-05:00

I celebrate that we officially celebrate the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I am glad to see streets named in his honor in cities all across the country. Schools and parks and projects carry his name.

People who have been born since Dr. King's death could easily look around and get the idea that Dr. King was a popular, well-received, beloved figure in American history. Those of us who were living when Dr. King was alive know better. We remember how much he was villified, constantly attacked and denounced. We remember that he was called a trouble-maker--by both black and white people. We remember that he was called a radical and unpatriotic and a communist. We remember that he was reviled and rejected. No matter how many streets and schools are named after him, no matter that a national holiday has been named for him, nobody who was alive when Dr. King was living would think that Dr. King rode a great tide of acceptance and popularity. All this adulation has largely come since his death.

When I look back across the decades, I know I am not the only one who is grateful for the progress against prejudice. I look back and am appalled at the segregationist world that existed in the United States -- a country based on freedom and democracy--a country so often called a "Christian nation". And our reactions to the patently unfair, unchristian and sometimes inhumane system of inequality were denial, complacency and even defensiveness. It is mind-boggling to me the prejudice that we tolerated.

As we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday this year, I wonder if the best honor to him would be to look at the vehement prejudices that we tolerate today. Who do we denounce? What is the area that arouses our deepest prejudices?

Someone asked me recently how to distinguish between principles and prejudices. It's a question that deserves careful, prayerful consideration from every Christian. Many citizens and churchmen decried Dr. King based on appeals to Christian principle. Appeals to the Bible have been used to justify all kinds of prejudice and unchristlike behavior. Claiming that a position is Christian alone does not tell the truth about whether a position is Christin or not.

I believe there is a sure-fire distinction for anyone who is searching for difference between prejudice and principle. You can tell if there is prejudice in your appeal to principle if your words and actions violate the Christian foundation of love for one another. Whenever your principles cause you to mistreat others or to support the mistreatment of others, that's a sure sign of prejudice, not principle. People who are following Christian principles will live by the Golden Rule and Great Commandment. People who make an appeal to Christian principle but, in their actions, ridicule, humiliate or support mistreatment against others are operating out of prejudice no matter how many Bible verses they quote.

I grew up in Kentucky in the era when legendary UK coach Adoph Rupp refused to have a black player on the team. I grew up in a church that was segregated and black United Methodist churches belonged to different conferences in a separate, though overlapping jurisdiction. I grew up in a world where racial prejudice set the social norms and all was defended in the name of Christian principles. I am appalled at prejudice past and present--and horrified by the ways that prejudice has been buttressed by appeals with the label "Christian".

Before the MLKing holiday this year gets away from us, let us look at the deeply entrenched, emotional prejudices that still plague our nation and compromise our Christian witness. Let's have the courage to base our lives on principle -- not matter how unpopular that is with the present culture. Every Martin Luther King celebration should remind us that popularity with our prejudice-prone culture is not the path to lasting, Christlike influence.

Morning's miracle...

2010-01-09T22:36:00.002-05:00

I have developed a special joy in a new routine to begin the day...watching the miracle of sunrise. I get up before the sun rises and sit in my reading chair looking out into my back yard. And, in the still darkness, a miracle gently takes place right before my eyes. At first, the light is almost imperceptible. But, slowly, it is all-encompassing. Whether the temperature is cold or hot, whether it is snow or sun, whether I am tired or rested, whether the day is reasonably or overwhelmingly full, God's morning miracle takes place.
And the watching the darkness turn to light is a daily experience of renewed hope...remembering that when all other light has been snuffed out by all manner of cruelty and meanness and selfishness and ego, Jesus is the light of the world AND the darkness has never overcome it. No matter how deep the darkness gets, the light comes every morning.
And the gift of light comes without my doing a thing to make it happen--a blessed reminder.
Just as surely, God is at work in my day.
It's easy to sleep through the sunrise and take light for granted. But that is missing the chance to see a miracle unfold. And, maybe if I begin with the dawning day's miracle, I will be more likely to see the other ways that God is at work throughout the day turning and changing and dependably working for good in life's darkness.

Finally! I got to share the secret!

2010-01-01T19:11:00.015-05:00

So much to look forward to at Christmas!

Since May 16, I have been ready for Christmas.

No, I didn't have the house decorated or the Christmas letters sent (as a matter of fact, I still haven't mailed my Christmas cards and letters). But I had the gifts. And, since that day, I have had to keep a wonderful secret.

On May 16, I was invited to speak for the opening of the Pottery Festival sponsored by Wesley Chapel United Methodist Church. The church cemetery is full of the graves of famous Catawba Valley potters and the annual pottery festival is a great celebration. I not only enjoyed opening the day with a devotional. I loved shopping at the displays.

One potter had especially exquisite work. Trudy Hunike from Charlotte had an amazing display and there was one plate that was especially beautiful. When I looked on the back of the plate, it said, "My Mother's Lace". Since my mother did all kinds of handwork, I asked the potter what the inscription meant: My mother's lace. She told me that her mother had been very crafty and one day, she used one of her mother's crocheted pieces to form the pattern on the plate. It was lovely...and more than a lovely pottery piece. It was a memory.

So I laid down her plate and asked her if she would make plates for my family with some of my mother's handwork. She said she would be glad to try. From that moment on, I knew I was going to have amazing, precious gifts for everyone in my family. And I also knew I had a big challenge to keep the secret until Christmas. I have a hard time keeping things quiet--especially when it comes to good news.

Using a hand-tatted doilie and a crocheted placemat, Trudy made the most beautiful plates that I gave my family. Each piece said, "Rosalie's Lace" on the back. And, as soon as I picked up all the pieces, keeping quiet was even harder.

So, God bless them, I told all my churches about it this fall. They didn't care, of course, what I was giving my family for Christmas. But I couldn't tell my family and I was preaching in churches every weeknight and 3 times on Sundays during the Charge Conference season. They were very gracious about giving me an outlet.

At our Christmas gatherings, my family loved the gifts every bit as much as I had dreamed they would. I was the queen of gifts (not to be confused with the centers of attention -- an uncontested distinction belonging to our 5 little boys ages 5 and under!). The great thing about the gifts is that they took the imprint from my mother's loving hand and created something beautiful -- but something that also reminded us of her life and her love for us. This Christmas I had the chance to combine what I love most: giving a gift AND making a memory.

Learning the wisdom...

2009-12-22T22:19:00.004-05:00

Today was one of those days I had a ringside seat in seeing someone's life turn upside down. One of my pastors went to his dr. "for some Tami-Flu", was taken straight to the hospital in an ambulance, tested up one side and down the other only to learn he needed heart surgery. Talk about life turning around.

The surgery he will have in the morning will almost certainly save his life. Had he not had the congestion, had the doctor not been so observant and thorough, this undetected, untreated valve dysfunction could have had catastrophic results. When heart surgery is the easy option --- well, you get the picture.

As soon as I got the news, I got in the car and went to the hospital. The privileges of pastoral life flooded me in that room. Even small talk among family members is different when it takes place in a hospital room right before surgery. The sweet presence of Christ was so evident to me I felt like I could reach out and, literally, touch Jesus. Instead, we touched each others hands around a family circle for prayer and we felt the Holy Spirit.

As a pastor, I had holy experiences like this over and over. Such communion! Such joy in the expressions of love, appreciation and peace! This is presence that matters. Memory-making for a lifetime. Just a few months ago, someone came up, introduced herself as a member from years ago. "I will never forget that you came to the hospital when my daughter had surgery," she said. "I told you not to come. But your presence made a difference that morning and ever since." That's the kind of sweet comment that makes everything worthwhile.

And, as I was praying in that hospital room tonight, I felt the urge to bolt out of the room, go straight to the bishop and say, "Please, please, please put me back in a church!" --an assignment where hospital visitation is part of the regular, if not daily, routine. In actuality, I had a different experience. When I did leave the room, I burst out in tears -- overcome by the sweetness of our time together and the privilege of the pastoral life.

As I have lived with this pastoral situation in my heart (which is where all good pastors carry their prayerful concerns) and its impact on me, I also realized that, in spite of my great love for the pastoral ministry setting, I have already received something that is good for me right now -- ministry that is a step removed from this pastoral work that I love. I felt the emotions of having life turn upside down so deeply because I'm so close to that experience myself. I've been there. Twice in the last two years, I have been diagnosed with a life-threatening disease/condition that had no warning symptoms. My mind -- and my heart--still reels from the spillover. Then it occurred to me: maybe this is not the best time for me to be in that more direct role of pastoral work walking with people daily in life's unexpected traumas.

The fragility of life is something that no one can miss -- no matter what their vocation. But pastoral ministry -- like many other helping professions--is the front line for lives turned upside down, often at a moment's notice.

I hope I always carry an ache in my heart for pastoral ministry. I pray that everyone serving in a connectional setting honors the local church setting is the primary place that discipleship is lived out and that God's gift of love is received shared and taught. But as I had a glimpse this week of longing for that ministry I love so deeply, I realized that God had already answered a prayer I wasn't wise enough to pray for myself at this time. Healing takes place over time. And I am still needing time for God's unfolding healing work in me.

The view from the cemetery

2009-12-21T22:49:00.004-05:00

December 6 was one of those marathon Sundays--a big Centennial Celebration for Broad Street UMC then off to 3 Charge Conferences. My administrative assistant thoughtfully scheduled churches that were not far away and the last stop on the circuit was a church just down the road from my home. Arriving in my neighborhood at 6: 15 p.m., I had about 20 minutes before I needed to head for my last stop. So I turned down the road to my house to catch my breath.

Instead, I experienced something that took my breath away.

I should back up and say that I live in the neighborhood of one of my churches -- New Salem UMC. My grandsons and I love to walk the short block to the playground there. Connor has been to Bible School and Trunk Or Treat at my neighbor church. Last year, the boys and I went to their "Walk to Bethlehem" -- a very impressive live experience of the Christmas story.

This year, I was doing Charge Conferences the night of the Walk to Bethlehem and my little boys were in a Live Nativity of their own in their new church.

New Salem's "Walk to Bethlem" involves a lot of setting up of flares and candlelight so that people can see how to go from one station to the next. When I turned onto New Salem Road, I knew there would be a lot of activity in the field on the left.

And I was right about that. There was a big crowd.

But, what stunned me was what I saw on the right hand side of the road.

The right hand side of the road is the New Salem Cemetery. I pass it every day. After my friends' Jan Brittain and Cecil Donahue's son was killed and buried in that cemebery in September of last year, I have walked in or through that cemetery praying for them. What I saw that night in the cemetery took my breath away.

Every grave had a burning candle, softly shedding light and illuminating the stones. There it was -- light shining from a place that represents our deepest darkness. And the words from the gospel of John flew all over me: "In Him was life and that life was the light for all. And the light shone in the darkness and the darkness has never overcome it." (John 1: 4,5)

I came home --not to catch my breath, but to get my camera.

I parked my car, walked in the darkness and tried to get a picture of the amazing sight I was experiencing. I found myself weeping--overcome by the vision of light breaking through the darkness. Light in penetrating darkness.

I love John 1:5. But, in reality, I feel so many times that the darkness in the world smothers the light of God. Meanness, selfishness, greed, arrogance, prejudice, hate , disease, brokenness, death. Sometimes, it feels like the darkness is winning. As I stood looking at hundreds of candles burning at each marker, I was experiencing the testimony of John's words. The darkness -- however dark-- does not win. The light of Christ will prevail and shine in life's deepest darkness.

Yes! I know that to be true for the deepest darknesses of my own life. But in that tired moment, seeing the light at every grave glowing in the shadow of the lighted steeple -- well, it took my breath away.

Later, I learned that the lighting of the cemetery is a project the New Salem youth began last year after Wade was buried there. New Salem's "Walk to Bethlehem" is certainly worth coming to and I enjoyed it last year. But this year, I also got the message of Christ's coming into the world. This year, I got it by walking in a candlelit cemetery.

Later, I learned that this cemetery lighting is a project that the youth of New Salem UMC began last year after Wade died.

The gift of a day

2009-12-19T13:50:00.007-05:00

What a great gift today is!
Snow-blanketed world, Christmas music, a clear schedule (except for watching Duke basketball!), baking Mother's favorite holiday recipes...
How I have needed a day like this!

Today is also richly blessed for me because my daughter, Christi, is preaching her first funeral. Knowing her like I do, I know she is going to be a great blessing to a family in need. She personifies the grace of Christ, the kindness of God's great heart and extraordinary compassion.
Although she is very eloquent in words, she will be a blessing just being herself. What a great joy for me to know she is making a difference to a family and her church today.

Sometimes, when people hear that Christi was commissioned last June or know that she is a United Methodist minister, they will say, "So, she's following her mother's footsteps." Actually, she is not. Anyone who has grown up as a preacher's kid knows better. If anything, growing up with a preacher parent is an impediment to accepting the call to ministry. Preachers kids think twice -- three-four times before going into the ministry themselves.

The greatest thing is that Christi is following Jesus. I am very content with my day at home. She is a blessing to me each day. Today, I am thrilled to know that her life is being a special blessing to someone else. A day overflowing with blessings indeed.

Watching Dreams Come True

2009-12-17T20:42:00.014-05:00

Today, we had an amazing opportunity to share an experience that, in Mary Allen's words, gave us a chance to "watch dreams come true." I had my first on site visit to Mary and Mary Allen's new house at Lake Junaluska. And she is right, it was a chance to see a dream become a reality.

This is the view from one of Mark and Mary Allen's decks...

And it is a dream come true.

They have long hoped and saved and dreamed for a house at Junaluska. And now, right before their eyes, their dream is taking shape. They have started a house blog with the name of the house: Dream Come True.

Our trip was everything Mary Allen said it would be: a great thrill watching a dream become reality. I am so happy for them. So proud of them.

But I think the thing I would want Mary Allen to know is that I have the joy of watching dreams come true,too. I'm not building a house. My dreams are bigger. My dreams are about building a life. And every time I see Mary Allen, I am seeing my dreams come true. Every time I see the creative, loving, joyful, dedicated, wonderful Christian, wife and mother that she is, I am seeing my dreams come true. Every time I see the way she supports her husband and organizes life for her household, I am seeing my dreams come true. Every time I see the pasty Chrismon creations, little Christmas trees made of ice cream cones, green icing and sprinkles (beloved by the little boys), and personalized church bags for each boy, I see the dream of my heart come true. Every time I see the joyful playfulness, pictures and blogs, homemade gifts and overflowing love of her heart, I am seeing my dreams come true.

Mark and Mary Allen are building a house that their family will enjoy for years... and I celebrate that with them and for them. They are seeing their dreams become a reality.

When I see their lives, I also have the chance to see dreams come true...dreams of my heart...dreams for my daughter. They are not dreams of a building, but dreams of a life. She is more accomplished, creative, dedicated, extraordinary than I could ever have dreamed. I have the privilege of seeing dreams come true every time I see her.

Sadness at Christmas

2009-12-12T22:56:00.002-05:00

I heard a very sad story this week that has made me wonder if some people in church have any idea what it means for Christ to be born in the world. The story has caused me to grieve over how far away we, apparently, have let church people get from the meaning of Jesus.

Once upon a time, in 2009, a church decided to give a Christmas party for a needy family. Several weeks before the party, some church members realized they didn't have enough money for the party. So they cancelled it.

Before long, the pastor heard of plans for a Christmas party.

Not a party for a needy family.

But a party for church members.

Apparently there was enough money for that.

I wish I could say this story of two parties is a fairy-tale or an embellished illustration for sermon material. But I am sad to say it is the true story -- a tragic story--of a church this Christmas season. A church that has missed the heart of the Christmas story.

This gets my nomination for saddest story of the year. And, if I were the Christian I should be, I would say, "Lord, have mercy." But what I really want to say is, "Lord, shake them up! Get their attention! Draw them outside themselves!" Maybe the best middle place is my fervent, daily prayer that somehow the Christmas story would be heard anew in that church this year...the true message of God's sacrifice for our abundant and eternal life...and God's call to us to live out the gift of life to others. No matter what happens at their party, this is going to be a sad story until they understand that the heart of Jesus is always reaching out to others. Be born in them, O Christ -- and be born in all of us--anew this year.

Celebrating in Special Ways

2009-12-12T21:06:00.012-05:00

I have always felt a sense of wonder about the sweet verse closing out the second chapter of Luke: "And Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart."

Sometimes, life's events are too rich, too powerful, too amazing to grasp all in the moment they take place. That's how the Shepherd Thanksgiving weekend has been for me.

Christi (newly commissioned UM minister in the NC Conference); Daddy (celebrating 66 years of ministry in the Kentucky Conference) and me. November 27, 2009. This picture was taken in my home church, First United Methodist Church Frankfort.

Our family moved to Frankfort in 1961 and this is where all of us joined the church. Daddy served here for 10 years and then became Superintendent of the Frankfort District. So, all in all, we lived in Frankfort for 16 of our family growing up years -- an unusual gift for a Methodist preacher's family. Now, Daddy serves on staff at Frankfort First as their Minister in Residence.

This is me, Daddy and my brother, Mark

(who is pastor at Jeffersontown UMC just outside of Louisville, KY).

The church honored Daddy for his 88th birthday (November 28) and his 66 years of ministry.

Between the 3 of us, we account for 127 years of ministry to the Methodist Church.

Daddy's immediate family service to full time Methodist ministry is 261 years.

When we moved to Frankfort, of course, there was no way to realize how profoundly this church would influence our lives. The 4 little Shepherds were 2 1/2 (Mark), 1st grade (Phillip) 4th grade (Ruth Ann) and I was going into 6th grade. Through the years, this church continued to be an ongoing source of welcome, support and encouragement.

I wish there was a way to convey to congregations what a difference they make in the lives of their parsonage families!
And now, nearly 50 years later, the church is still making a difference in our family life -- welcoming Daddy on their staff as Minister in Residence and celebrating his ministry. How could we possibly find words eloquent enough to convey the thanks of our heart?

A sweet sign...

2009-11-24T20:39:00.003-05:00

I am home for the whirlwind holidays of Thanksgiving. A whirlwind because it includes my nephew's birthday (today he is 17), my father's birthday (on Saturday, he will be 88), Thanksgiving and a special worship service on Sunday where my home church is honoring Daddy for his birthday and 66 years of UM ministry...
But, tonight, we did what our family does: we went to church.
Tonight was the community Thanksgiving service here in Frankfort.
The sanctuary at South Frankfort Presbyterian Church was filled. The participating clergy filled up the front two rows. The music was great. The sermon, in call and response black style, was rousing. And then the pastor from the Church of God got up to give the benediction. He looked out across the congregation of Baptists, Methodists, Presbyterians, Pentecostals, white and black, young and old. Then he said, "Look around you. We are all races and all denominations and we are all people Jesus died to save. This is what heaven is going to look like. And, if you don't like it, you'd better learn to get used to it."
I'm still struggling with laryngitis (residual from an unusally demanding weekend) and the only way to get my voice back is to rest it. (Now THAT is hard!) But, as fragile as my voice is, I really wanted to say AMEN. Amen! Amen!
Tonight was only a glimpse. I am so grateful for God's great heart. May we live into God's gift with grateful hearts.

Buckle up!

2009-11-13T20:12:00.002-05:00

What an amazing week!
We have spent a week of cabinet training/evaluation/meeting. And I can say this -- I've never seen anything like this. I know that people outside the cabinet don't have the chance to see this dynamic as closely right now. But it's a new day.
The challenge isn't new. The church has been declining for decades. That's an old challenge. While people love to pick their favorite issue and connect that issue to the decline of the church, the overwhelming evidence is the reality that the culture has changed and the church has unproductively and defiantly stood still. And the heartbreak of it is that sitting still has not only been harmful to the church. Sitting still is completely contrary to John Wesley's practice of discipleship.
The challenge is not new. But, gratefully, the response is new. Our bishop is leading us in a wonderfully holy impatience. His approach is predictable and consistent and focused. And it's all summed up in his one frequently repeated phrase: "It's all about the mission."
And I can tell you first hand, those words are not just a catch phrase. Those words illuminate all the changes that are on the table. And there are many changes. As the changes unfold, people need to know that everything falls under the same scrutiny: is it all about the mission? And, quite simply, anything that is NOT about the mission of the church stands subservient and disposable to what IS the mission of the church. And that is one, incredible, amazing and, of course, completely-credible change.
We have talked the priority of mission before. But what is new is that we are seriously and persistently being led to LIVE and APPLY the priority on following Jesus, making disciples and transforming the world. It is thrilling. It is encouraging. It is invigorating. But it is also going to be hard.
Any pastor or church that likes to rock along with the way things have always been is going to be unhappy. Any church or pastor who is perfectly content with the same handful of familiar faces in worship is going to be challenged. Any pastor or church that wants to keep things the way they are (even if that means the church is dying) is going to be uncomfortable. Any pastor or church that wants to do whatever they want without any challenge or accountability is going to be in for an adjustment. Any UM pastor or church who wants to be left alone to do their on thing is going to have a very hard time as we become the truly connectional church that we are designed to be. Any pastor or church that wants to sit around on their blessed assurance in the same old unproductive path is going to experience some frustration. Because we are going to be looking past preferences and comfort zones to putting the mission first in all things.
"It's all about the mission" is a mighty big statement. It's going to challenge us to a lot of change and help get us serious about moving on toward perfection.

Dodging the big question

2009-11-06T21:27:00.002-05:00

I've been laughing all week.
Connor is very close to being ready for the great life talk. I almost got into it with him this past weekend.
Halloween night, I had 4 year old Spiderman in my backseat. We were heading to a Trunk Or Treat sponsored by one of my churches (the first of 3 we would try to go to that night). Since it was raining, I wasn't sure that the Trunk or Treat would still be held so I was trying to introduce the possibility that the rain might require things to be called off.
"Well, Grammy," Connor said very seriously, "God is going to disappoint a lot of children tonight if he doesn't stop this rain." And, after a short pause, he said, "Because, after all, He IS in charge of everything."
I wondered if I should try to explain the unexplainable...that here, in this fallen world, God isn't directly responsible for everything that happens. How does one explain that to a four year old? While I was searching for just the right words, we arrived at Chapel Hill UMC and Trunk or Treat was open for business. Whew.
As we were driving home, Connor was counting his haul of candy and remembering the fun detail by detail. Then he paused again and said, "Wasn't it great that God decided to stop the rain?".
I know that sometime we will have to have the conversation about life's more complicated realities. But, for our drive home, I agreed that God had been mighty good and, for however little he grasps about God's omnipotence, he was absolutely right in understanding God's heart. God wouldn't want the children to be disappointed.

A very happy anniversary...

2009-11-03T21:14:00.002-05:00

Exactly one year ago today was my thyroid surgery.
Although I slept through it all, the surgery went much longer than expected. My family was getting worried and only more concerned when the surgeon came out and tried to tell them what had taken so long. The cancer was more extensive than they had realized and, in the course of getting as much as possible, the surgeon had damaged the nerve that leads to the vocal chords. We had chosen to go to Dr. Olson -- chief of Endoctrine Surgery at Duke--because he monitored the vocal chords during thyroidectomies. The thyroid I was sure I could live without. My voice -- now THAT was a different scenario. So it was worrisome that Dr. Olson said that his monitors had lost contact with the vocal chords during the surgery. Only time would tell whether or not I would be able to talk after the surgery-- or not.
No wonder my sister looked so happy in the recovery room when I started complaining that there was no TV. I woke up (understandably) wanting to know the results of the presidential election. And the extent of worry was even clearer on my surgeon's face when he lit up like a Christmas tree when I spoke to him when he came to check on me. There was plenty of reason to worry about the thyroid cancer. But God also gave me back the gift of my speaking voice...a gift I cherish for both my life and my work.
Today, I drove back to Duke for followup and got more confirmation of good news and healing grace. I am newly overwhelmed with the gift of voice and life...and hope that my voice and life will -- in new ways --bring healing and grace to others.

Re-living and old truth

2009-10-18T22:58:00.002-04:00

It's true: you never really leave a place you love. Part of that place goes with you.
I think we should pay more attention to that life reality.
Today, I went back to preach at Jackson Park UMC in Kannapolis--my first time back since I left there 10 years ago. Wow. Ten years feels like 3 lifetimes. At least. Returning brought a flood of memories, the rich familiarity of long-time friendships, the surprises of seeing how much the children had grown and teenagers -- now young adults--had babies of their own. There were those I cherished who are now physically unable to come, those who have moved out of Kannapolis to be close to their families for care-taking as well as those who are missing from this Homecoming because they have died.
The facility has been improved in a number of places and I was also very, very happy to see so many faces of people I did not know. How sad it would be to return to a church after 10 years and know everybody! As I suspected, the passion of the Carolina fans is just as fervent -- and obnoxious--as it always was. When I write my book about trying to keep the faith while serving churches full of Carolina fans, many of the stories are going to be about the Men's Bible Class at Jackson Park!
It was a great joy to me to hear how DISCIPLE Bible study -- something started while I was there--has both continued and multiplied through the years. The memory of the DISCIPLE classes during my years assured me that these students had become extraordinary teachers and their faithfulness reminds me of the phrase that, thankfully, characterizes United Methodist ministry: the MINISTRY is always bigger than the MINISTER. The altar flowers for worship were given by a prayer partner in honor of a 14 year old's birthday. And I gave thanks for the prayer partner program that began here and that idea which I carried to other settings.
And the gift of friendships--loved ones indelibly stamped on my heart --made this a very rich and emotional day. I never fail to be inspired by the faithfulness that people give to the church--and the people who guide and befriend and support the pastor go with us everywhere we serve. For all its failures (and there are many), the church still has so many people who hang in there with faithfulness and good sense and kindness and good humor. The company of the committed has its frustrations, but it is a rich fellowship, indeed.
And today, being in a place where I have personal history, I feel the ongoing blessing of being a pastor. Thank you, Jackson Park.

Tiredness that hurts

2009-09-17T21:28:00.003-04:00

Tonight, I am not tired from the pace of this work.
The pace is grueling. But sometimes, after a series of back-to-back commitments, I am elated. I recognize what it means to be tired in a healthy way.
But tonight, the tiredness isn't healthy. The tiredness is from discouragement. Deep, profound discouragement. And the overlay of discouragement to weariness is not a prelude to peaceful sleep.
Why the tiredness...discouragement?
I'm tired of the petty squabbling in churches.
I'm tired of constant negative energy born of entitlement, personal preferences and ego.
I'm tired of Christians acting worse than pagans in attitudes and actions.
I'm tired of people who feel that their hurt feelings give them license for any kind of mean-spirited comment or action.
And I'm really tired of people who are thoughtless and unkind to their pastor and then think I should do something based on their prejudices.
I'm tired of people who think that they are entitled to have their way no matter how selfish or unchristlike that way is.
I'm tired of the contentiousness of the culture shaping the church instead of the other way around.
I'm tired of people who try to wear their rudeness or crudeness or attacks as badges of honor and try to inflame others to the same kind of patently unchristian attitude.
I'm tired of church people who won't stand up for what is right; who -- out of weariness--give in to the loudest complainer, who side with the falsehood, the exaggeration, the rumor.
This is the kind of tiredness that cuts to the soul.
It's the kind of tiredness that is going to kill the church if we don't change our ways.
It's the kind of tiredness that causes casualties in the ranks of our more dedicated pastors and laity. It's a tiredness that is abominably self-absorbed in light of the great challenges before us -- the suffering around us and across the world, rampant injustice, abiding prejudices, the grip of poverty, the trauma of accidents and disease and sorrow.
And I'm tired of the repetition of selfish, self-absorbed, wounded egos.
Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. And teach me to have mercy, too.

Pretty remarkable...

2009-09-14T14:21:00.002-04:00

My father will be 88 in November. I am the long-distance one in the family so I keep in touch by calling him every night. I am always inspired by his interest in politics, current church events and the personal connections he is always making as Minister in Residence at my "home" church in Frankfort.
With the pace of superintendency, my schedule is always stretched to the limit. But today, Daddy takes the cake. My schedule pales in comparison. This morning, he was meeting with the Coffee Club at 10:00 a.m. (Frankfort's long-standing solve-the-problems-of-the-world group), the swearing in of a family friend to a judgeship at 11:00; Rotary at noon; 1:00 he has a part in a funeral and tonight, he has Methodist Men. That's quite a whirlwind for someone of any age. But isn't it wonderful that all those things describe the schedule of someone born in 1921! It is a great joy to me that Daddy not only is living--especially since longevity is not a trait in his family--but that he has such a high quality of life.
So today, I am celebrating that his busy schedule leaves mine in the dust. A blessing indeed!